Flora's Defiance (9 page)

‘Yes, I can see that my living in Amsterdam would have definite benefits from the children’s point of view,’ Flora conceded grudgingly. ‘I would certainly like to be able to see Mariska every day and be a real part of her life rather than an occasional visitor—’

’But? ‘
Angelo cut in, impatient for the objection he sensed coming and frustrated by her inexplicable reluctance to embrace the rich and privileged lifestyle that he
had just offered her. He wondered if he needed to spell out the material advantages with greater clarity.

‘I’m very independent. I like my own corner, my own way of life.’

‘Yet you insist that you want to adopt Mariska.’

‘I do, but you’re not being frank enough to tell me what I need to know,’ Flora condemned, lifting her bright head high with a glint of challenge in her clear green eyes. ‘Exactly what kind of relationship are you offering me? Do you expect me to be a parenting partner and friend?’

‘A lover.’ That very frank contradiction slammed back at Flora like a crack of thunder, although he had not raised his voice in the slightest.

Flora was shaken. ‘A l-lover?’ she stammered uncertainly, taken aback by an angle she had not foreseen. ‘I assumed you were talking about us coming to some platonic arrangement.’

Angelo’s brilliant gaze was hot electric blue as amusement and sexual heat combined in his compelling appraisal, while a wolfish smile tugged at the corners of his handsome mouth. ‘I don’t think that platonic would work very well for us. I am very powerfully attracted to you,
enamorada mia.’

The unashamed fire in that steady look sent wicked heat and anticipation hurtling straight to the most sensitive places on Flora’s body. Uneasy at that rush of physical response and bemused by his bold statement of desire, Flora shifted position, her face burning pink as she struggled to think clearly. ‘So, you’re actually proposing that we live together in a relationship that
would go much further than simply making a home for Mariska and the baby I’m expecting?’

This time it was Angelo who stilled to shoot her a questioning narrowed glance, his lean, darkly handsome features annoyingly unforthcoming. ‘How much further?’

Flora recognised his tension and wariness. ‘Have you really thought this proposition through, Angelo?’

‘If I had not, I would scarcely have suggested it,’ he fielded with cutting assurance.

But Flora was not easily cut off in full flow and an intense need to know exactly what he was offering her was now driving her. ‘But you’re being much too casual for something so serious,’ she objected with a toss of her head, copper-coloured hair dancing back from her cheekbones. ‘You’re asking me to move in with you and I’m asking you on what terms would I be living with you?’

An ebony brow elevated, his stubborn jaw line clenching hard, his tone clipped and discouraging. ‘Terms?’

If anything his reluctance to spell out the boundaries only made Flora more suspicious of his motives. ‘Terms,’ she repeated unapologetically.

‘Obviously I would take care of all your expenses and you would have access to every material thing that a woman wants.’

‘I can take care of my own expenses, Angelo. I don’t need financial assistance and I don’t need to be spoiled either. You said we would be lovers,’ she reminded him uncomfortably.

Angelo shifted a broad shoulder. ‘What more can you possibly want?’

Flora ground her teeth together and momentarily looked away from him, her hands clenching in aggravation. Just then, she would have loved to pour a bucket of cold water over him in punishment for his unwillingness to clarify his proposition. Did he not trust any woman or was it just her? He behaved as if words were handcuffs and chains that might come back to imprison him. ‘Most people expect certain guarantees before they give up their own home and move into someone else’s—particularly when there are children involved. Upheaval is very bad for children,’ she spelt out loftily. ‘And Mariska has already suffered quite enough change in her life.’

His beautiful eyes semi-screened by luxuriant lashes, Angelo released his breath in a slow measured hiss. ‘What sort of guarantees are you asking for?’

‘The obvious: stop acting like you’re thick as a brick! ‘ Flora launched back at him in growing anger. ‘You know what I’m asking! How committed would you be to making this relationship work?’

‘I’m not into discussing the finer points of relationships,’ Angelo declared, slamming yet another door closed in her face.

‘So, end of that conversation. I’m not moving to Amsterdam to live with a guy who’s so immature he can’t even talk about what he wants and expects from me or himself!’ Flora shot back at him wrathfully.

‘I am not immature, merely experienced enough to know that the instant a list of rules is drawn up in an affair I will most probably feel the need to break those rules,’ Angelo drawled smooth as silk.

‘Well, thanks, too, for that opportune warning. I
definitely won’t be moving to Amsterdam on those terms! ‘ Flora tossed back at him in a tone sharp with scorn and antagonism that masked the painful sense of disappointment that she was experiencing. She was as hurt as she was annoyed. ‘I don’t think that you entertaining yourself with other women would help us to make a happy home for young children. I grew up in a divided home and I know exactly what I’m talking about, Angelo!’

‘You’re being unrealistic. None of us can see into the future. What guarantees can I possibly give you?’ Angelo countered levelly.

‘Before I abandon my home and way of life to take a chance on depending on you in another country? At the very least, your commitment to offering me an exclusive relationship. But I can see that you’re unwilling to promise fidelity,’ Flora contended flatly, clashing with his stunningly blue eyes without flinching, even as another sharp little pain slivered through her at that wounding knowledge. ‘And I’m afraid that I won’t settle for anything less.’

‘Now you’re being unreasonable,’ Angelo breathed curtly. ‘I’ve never given any woman such a pledge.’

Flora grimaced, for she now knew her true value in his eyes. He might want her but evidently he already knew that he didn’t want her enough to make sacrifices or promises that might offer her any hope of a viable future with him. He wanted her only for the moment and he wasn’t prepared to make a longer-term commitment that would reduce his sexual options. ‘Which really says all I need to know about you.’

‘But what about Mariska’s needs? What about the
child you’re carrying? Don’t they deserve that we should at least
try
to live together?’ Angelo demanded rawly, outraged by her inflexible outlook. He had made what he deemed to be a very generous offer. He had never asked a woman to live with him before. Nor had any woman ever boldly confronted him with an in-your-face demand for exclusivity. He had certainly been in receipt of plenty of hints and persuasive moves on that score, but he had always set a very high value on his freedom and had always moved on from one affair to the next with a light heart. But this woman was different from all her many predecessors in one crucial field, he conceded grimly. She carried his baby in her womb. But did that give her the right to hold him to ransom and make such a far-reaching demand? Most women would have been honoured to be invited to live in his home and share his bed, but she had transformed his invitation into some kind of backhanded affront. His lean, compellingly attractive features stubbornly taut, he thought she was demanding too much and he dug his heels in with every atom of his stubborn strength of will.

‘I think that the children deserve something more from us than us just
trying
to live together. You would have to be more committed to the relationship than you obviously are prepared to be. I’m not interested in your money. Although I have no intention of becoming your temporary mistress, I don’t think that you see me as anything more than that. Let’s not discuss it any more,’ Flora urged with a forced and strained smile, keen as she was to sidestep further debate on the thorny topic. ‘It’s not doing us any good to argue about it.’

Usually more than willing to sidestep female
aggression and disagreement, Angelo was taken aback by the furious flash of dissatisfaction and sense of injustice that gripped him when she chose to bring their dialogue to what he saw as a premature conclusion. Clearly it was a matter of her way or the highway.
How dared she
lay down the law to him in such a manner?

‘How do you propose to continue your relationship with Mariska? ‘ Angelo enquired with scantily leashed contempt.

Flora lifted her chin. ‘I’ll fly over and visit as often as I can.’

‘It won’t be an adequate substitute for you being on the spot.’

Flora lost colour, guilt and more than a touch of doubt assailing her. ‘It would be much harder for Mariska if I was there for her for a few weeks and then gone again.’

Angelo dealt her a grim appraisal. ‘It’s not that straightforward.’

‘Oh, I think it would be with a guy like you—used to having his options and enjoying them no matter what the cost,’ Flora returned without hesitation, as she knew all too well that a sexually predatory man got bored with just one woman and preferred variety in the bedroom. Her father had never hesitated to indulge himself with an attractive woman and, regardless of his marriage or his children, had always put his own desires of the moment first.

Outrage at that rejoinder cut through Angelo in a boiling hot swathe, since he was neither self-indulgent nor destructive with women. Female companionship and sex were essential to him and it had never been a
challenge for him to fulfil his needs with like-minded partners. It was rare for his affairs to end on a sour note because his lovers understood from the outset that he was not promising either everlasting love or fidelity. Did Flora really expect to dictate rules to him? What sort of men was she accustomed to dealing with?

‘I only visit the UK about once or twice a month,’ Angelo intoned curtly. ‘It will be difficult for me to offer you the level of support that you deserve.’

‘I’ll manage just fine on my own,’ Flora asserted, lifting her head high and watching anger flare in his bright blue eyes as he translated her response as yet another offensive rejection.

‘I will at least accompany you to your medical appointments,’ Angelo declared on a decided note of challenge.

‘That’s unnecessary …’

‘Clearly you intend to shut me out completely!’ Angelo growled in a driven undertone.

‘Not at all,’ Flora fielded uncomfortably. She was already moving back to the hall to take her leave, keen to evade the stab of conscience beginning to gnaw at her. After all, lots of men evaded their responsibility when a woman fell pregnant and Angelo did deserve her respect for his determination to give her his support. ‘But I do think that once the baby is born we’ll have more to talk about.’

Infuriated by her determination to keep him at arm’s length until that stage, Angelo strode after her. ‘My driver will take you home and I’ll stay in touch. Please don’t tell me that that’s not necessary either! ‘

Those words literally bubbling on the tip of her ready
tongue, Flora reddened and sealed her soft lips closed again. They were at daggers drawn and she had not intended that but she did not see how she could change the situation. He had expected certain responses from her and he had lost patience with her when she failed to deliver those responses. He was a very powerful personality and he was accustomed to women falling in with his wishes. Flora, however, believed that it would be downright dangerous to get more deeply involved with Angelo van Zaal when the relationship would clearly be of short duration. The eventual breakdown of a relationship between them would only create bad feeling that might well jeopardise her ongoing ties with Mariska, as well as his with their unborn child. As someone whose own childhood had been deeply scarred by quarrelling, unhappy parents, Flora was keen not to inflict that lost sense of pain, fear and bewilderment on any other child.

Lean, dark face sardonic, Angelo felt bitter as he watched Flora leave his apartment. It was many years—indeed not since his stepmother had died—since Angelo had felt so angry with and exasperated by a woman. Once again, Flora Bennett had taken him by surprise. He had assumed she would grab at the opportunity to move in with him and not only for mercenary reasons either. The sexual heat between them was mutual and strong and in his opinion more than sufficient to sustain a relationship, yet she was refusing to take account of it. It was very hard for him to accept that although his first baby was on the way its mother wanted nothing to do with him. If that was her attitude now, how much was he likely to see of his child once it was born? His handsome
mouth twisted. And all because she had deemed him unworthy for refusing to declare that there would never be another woman in his life.

Flora settled into her bed that night and fought off a powerful desire to picture what life might have been like living with Angelo in Amsterdam. It wouldn’t have lasted five minutes, she told herself staunchly. She would get hurt and humiliated when he became bored with her and then sought out other females for variety. After all, she was no sex goddess and he was a very good-looking, very rich tycoon. He was the sort of guy who would always be spoilt for choice and subject to temptation when it came to women. Besides, a brief and ultimately unsuccessful live-in arrangement would only have confused and upset Mariska; the little girl deserved better from the adults she had to depend on in her life.

But what, a little voice dared to ask, if it worked out between her and Angelo? What if Angelo was prepared to agree that she would be the only woman in his life for the duration of their relationship? In the darkness, Flora’s eyes shone at that unlikely but energising image of life as it might be in a perfect world. What if she was letting her fears rule her too far? What if she was wrong not to even give Angelo a chance?

At that point, Flora turned over and punched her pillow with unnecessary force. Next she would be believing that a fairy ready to grant her three wishes might be living at the foot of the garden, she scolded herself in exasperation. Angelo was not in love with her, so why would he give up other women for her benefit? He only saw her as a temporary aberration, a short-term affair,
and nothing lasting was likely to come from such a weak foundation.