Authors: Erich Maria Remarque
Kern looked at him for a moment distrustfully. “Yes,” he said finally. “As a matter of fact, it’s my first time in Switzerland.”
“That’s what I thought. I guessed it from the way you told your story. Not very adroit, if you don’t mind my saying so. There was no need for you to say you were a Christian. But even so, you got some help from them. I’ll give you a couple of tips if you like. My name is Binder. Shall we get some coffee?”
“Yes, fine. Is there an emigrees’ café or something of the sort around here?”
“Several. The best one for us is the Café Greif. It’s not far from here and the police haven’t paid much attention to it so far. At least there’s been no raid up to now.”
They went to the Café Greif. It resembled the Café Sperler in Vienna as one egg resembles another.
“Where did you come from?” Binder asked.
“Vienna.”
“Then there are some notions you’ll have to change. Now listen. You can, of course, apply to the police for a short-term residential permit. Only for a couple of days, of course; after that you’ll have to get out. Without papers your chances of getting it are, at the moment, less than two per cent; your chances of being deported at once about ninety-eight. You want to risk it?”
“Certainly not.”
“Right. That’s what I thought. For you would also be running the risk of being refused the right to enter the country again—for one year, three years, five years or more, according. After that if you’re caught, it means prison.”
“I know,” Kern said. “It’s the same everywhere.”
“All right. You can postpone that by staying here illegally. Of course only until the first time you’re picked up. And that’s a matter of luck and good management.”
Kern nodded. “What are the chances of being allowed to work?”
Binder laughed. “None at all. Switzerland is a small country and has enough unemployed of its own.”
“Then it’s the same old story; starve, legally or illegally, or get in trouble with the law.”
“Precisely!” Binder replied with smooth assurance. “Now as to the question of districts. Zürich is hot. The police are very active. In plain clothes, too, which makes it ticklish. Only old-timers can get away with living here. Beginners haven’t a chance. Just now French Switzerland is good, especially Geneva. Socialistic government. Tessin isn’t bad, either, but the towns are too small. How do you work—straight or with trimmings?”
“What does that mean?”
“That means, do you simply try to get assistance, or do you do exactly the same thing under the pretense of peddling something?”
“I intend to peddle.”
“Dangerous. Counts as work. Double penalty. Illegal residence and illegal work. Especially if someone enters a complaint against you.”
“A complaint?” Kern asked.
“My dear friend,” answered Binder, the expert, in a patiently instructive tone, “a year ago I was denounced by a Jew who has more millions than you have francs. He was outraged because I asked him for money to buy a ticket to Basle. And so if you’re going to peddle, select small articles—pencils, shoelaces, buttons, gum erasers, toothbrushes, and so on. Never take a bag or box with you, or even a brief case. Brief cases have got lots of people into trouble. The best thing is to take everything in your pockets. That’s easier now that it’s fall because you can wear an overcoat. What do you deal in?”
“Soap, perfume, toilet water, combs, safety pins, and that sort of thing.”
“Fine. The more worthless the merchandise, the greater the profit. As a matter of principle, I don’t sell anything at all. I simply ask people to help me out. In this way I avoid the statute against illegal work and am only guilty of begging and vagrancy. How about addresses? Have you any?”
“What kind of addresses?”
Binder leaned back and looked at Kern in amazement. “For heaven’s sake,” he said, “that’s the most important thing of all! Addresses of people you can go to, of course. You can’t just run around at random from door to door. You’d be laid by the heels in three days.”
He offered Kern a cigarette. “I’ll give you a number of reliable
addresses,” he went on. “Three series—pious Jews, mixed, and Christian. No charge. I myself had to pay twenty francs for my first list. Some of the people, of course, are dreadfully pestered; but at least they won’t get you into trouble.”
He examined Kern’s suit. “Your clothes are all right. You have to be especially careful about that here in Switzerland. On account of the detectives. Your coat at least has to be good; on occasion it can cover a tattered suit, which might arouse suspicion. Of course there are a lot of people who will refuse to help you if your clothes are any good at all. Have you a likely story you can tell?”
He glanced up and noticed Kern’s expression. “My friend,” he said, “I know what you’re thinking. I used to think the same thing. But take my word for it: to support yourself, even in misery, is a fine art. And charity is a cow that gives little milk and gives it grudgingly. I know people who have three different stories on tap—a sentimental story, a story of persecution, and a matter-of-fact story—according to what the man who’s going to shell out a couple of francs wants to hear. They lie, of course, but only because they have to. The basic truth is always the same—want, flight and hunger.”
“I know,” Kern replied. “And I wasn’t thinking of that at all. I was just amazed that you have so much precise information.”
“It’s the concentrated experience of three years’ service in the fight for life. Yes, I’ve become tough. More than most. My brother couldn’t take it. He shot himself a year ago.”
For an instant Binder’s face was twisted with pain. Then it became calm again. He stood up. “If you don’t know where to sleep you can spend tonight with me. For a week I have a safe place, a room that belongs to a Zürich acquaintance of mine who is away on vacation. I’ll be here from eleven o’clock on.
Twelve o’clock is the police hour. Be careful after twelve. From then on the streets swarm with detectives.”
“Switzerland seems damned hot,” Kern said. “Thank God I met you. Otherwise I’d probably been nabbed the first day. Thanks from the bottom of my heart. You’ve helped me a lot.”
Binder waved aside his thanks. “That’s a matter of course with people who are at the very bottom. Comradeship of those outside the law—almost like that among criminals. Each one of us may be in the same fix tomorrow, and need help, himself. Well, then, till twelve!”
He paid for the coffee, gave Kern his hand and went out, self-assured and elegant.
Kern waited in the Café Greif until dark. He asked for a map of the city and traced out the way to Ruth’s house. Then he left the place and strode along the street, restless and impatient. It took him about a half-hour to find the house. It was in a quiet section, full of crooked streets; the house stood high and white in the moonlight. In front of the door he stopped. He looked at the big brass knocker and his impatience suddenly died. All at once he had ceased to believe that he only had to climb one flight of stairs to find Ruth. It was too easy after all those months. He was not used to easy things. He stared up at the windows. Perhaps she wasn’t in that house at all. Perhaps she wasn’t even in Zürich any more.
He walked past the house. A few blocks farther on he came to a tobacco store and went inside. A surly woman came out from behind the high counter.
“A package of Parisiennes,” Kern said.
The woman gave him the cigarettes. Then she reached into a box under the counter, brought out some matches and laid
them on the package. There were two books that had stuck together; the woman noticed it, pulled them apart, and threw one back into the box. “Fifty centimes,” she said.
Kern paid. “May I use your telephone?” he asked.
The woman nodded. “The instrument’s there in the corner to the left.”
Kern looked up the number in the book. Neumann—there seemed to be hundreds of Neumanns in this city. Finally he found the right one. He picked up the receiver and gave the number. The woman stood at the counter watching him. Kern angrily turned his back on her. It was a long time before anyone answered.
“May I speak to Fräulein Ruth Holland?” he said into the black mouthpiece.
“Who is that?”
“Ludwig Kern.”
The voice at the other end was silent for an instant. “Ludwig—” it came again as though breathless. “You, Ludwig?”
“Yes—” Kern suddenly felt his heart beating hard as though it were a hammer. “Yes—is that you, Ruth? I didn’t recognize your voice. We’ve never talked to each other on the telephone.”
“From where are you calling?”
“I am here. In Zürich. In a cigar store.”
“Here?”
“Yes. In the same street as you.”
“Then why don’t you come here? Is there anything wrong?”
“No, not a thing. I got here today. I thought perhaps you weren’t here any more. Where can we meet?”
“Here! Come here right away! The second floor. Do you know which house it is?”
“Yes, I know. But is it all right? I mean on account of the people you’re staying with.”
“There’s no one here. I am alone. They’ve all gone away for the week end. Come!”
“Yes.”
Kern put down the receiver. He looked around absently. It no longer seemed to be the same store. Then he went back to the counter. “How much was that call?” he asked.
“Ten centimes.”
“Only ten centimes?”
“That’s dear enough.” The woman picked up the coin. “Don’t forget your cigarettes.”
“Oh, yes. Yes, to be sure.”
Kern went out on the street. I’m not going to run now, he thought. Anyone who runs is likely to be suspected. I’m going to keep hold of myself. Steiner wouldn’t run in my place either. I’m going to walk. No one will notice anything unusual about me. But I can walk fast. I can walk very fast. That’s just as quick as if I ran.
Ruth was standing on the stairs. It was dark and Kern could only see her indistinctly. “Look out,” he said hurriedly in a hoarse voice, “I am dirty. My things are still at the station. I haven’t been able to wash or change my clothes.”
She made no reply. She stood on the landing leaning forward waiting for him. He ran up the steps and suddenly she was beside him warm and real—life and more than life.
She lay quiet in his arms. He heard her breathe and felt her hair. He stood motionless and the vague darkness around him seemed to tremble. Then he realized she was crying. He started to move. She shook her head against his shoulder without letting go of him. “Don’t pay any attention to me. This won’t last long.”
A door opened downstairs. Kern turned cautiously and almost unnoticeably to one side in order to look down the stairs. He heard steps. Then a switch snapped and the lights went on. Ruth was startled. “Come, come in here quick!” She pulled him through a doorway.
They were sitting in the Neumann family’s living room. It had been a long time since Kern had been in a home. The room was middle-class and decorated without much taste, with massive oak furniture, a modern Persian rug, a few chairs covered in rep and some lamps with bright-colored silk shades. But to Kern it appeared a vision of peace and an island of security.
“When did your passport expire?” he asked.
“Seven weeks ago, Ludwig.” Ruth took two glasses and a bottle from the sideboard.
“Did you apply for an extension?”
“Yes. I went to the Consulate here in Zürich. They refused. I didn’t expect anything else, of course.”
“Nor did I really. Although I always keep hoping for a miracle. After all we’re enemies of the State. Dangerous enemies of the State. That ought to make us feel important, oughtn’t it?”
“It’s all right with me,” Ruth said, placing the glasses and the bottle on the table. “I have no advantage over you now and that’s something.”
Kern laughed. He put his arm around her shoulders and pointed to the table. “Now what’s that, cognac?”
“Yes. The Neumann family’s best cognac. I’m going to drink it with you because you are here again. It was awful without you. And it was awful to know you were in jail. They struck you, those criminals, and it was all my fault.”
She looked at him. She smiled and Kern noticed that she was excited. Her voice was angry and her hands trembled as she filled the glasses. “It was hideous,” she said once more, handing him his glass. “But now you’re back again.”
They drank. “It wasn’t so bad,” Kern said. “Really it wasn’t.”
Ruth put down her glass. She had emptied it in one gulp. She put her arms around Kern’s neck and kissed him. “Now I’m not going to let you go away again,” she murmured, “ever!”
Kern looked at her. He had never seen her this way before. She was entirely changed. Something alien that formerly had often stood between them like a shadow, something enigmatic, a sort of faraway sadness for which he had no name, had disappeared. Now she had unfolded and was wholly there, and for the first time he felt that she belonged to him. He had never been sure of it before.
“Ruth,” he said, “I wish this ceiling would open to let in an airplane that we could fly away to an island with palms and coral where no one had ever heard of a passport or a residential permit.”
She kissed him again. “I’m afraid they know all about them there, Ludwig. They’re sure to have forts and cannon and men-of-war among the palms and coral and to be even more on guard than here in Zürich.”
“Yes, of course. Let’s have another drink.” He took the bottle and poured. “But even Zürich is too dangerous. We can’t hide here for long.”
“Then let’s leave.”
Kern looked around the room, at the damask curtains, at the chairs, at the yellow silk lampshades. “Ruth,” he said, motioning toward these things, “it will be wonderful to go away
with you; it’s the very best I’ve been able to imagine. But you’ve got to understand that we’ll not have anything like this. There’ll be country roads, haystacks and hiding places and dingy little boardinghouse rooms, with always the fear of the police, if we’re lucky. And jail.”
“I know all that and it doesn’t matter. You don’t need to worry about it. I have to leave here anyway. I can’t stay any longer. My friends are afraid of the police because I have not registered. They’ll be glad when I’m gone. I still have some money, Ludwig. And I’ll help you peddle. I won’t cost you much. I believe I’m quite sensible.”