Flowers in a Dumpster (21 page)

“Ouch,” Keith said, wincing.

Lily nodded and waited for him to say more, but he merely stood there, staring at her shoes as if mesmerized by her footwear. The room had cleared out. Even Professor McNamara collected her things and left.

“Was that all you wanted?” Lily asked.

Keith closed his eyes as if saying a silent prayer, took a deep breath, then raised his head to meet her eyes. “I was wondering, um, you see they’re showing the new Adam Sandler movie in the Student Center tonight. I thought maybe you’d want to go with me.”

“I’m sorry Keith, but I don’t think so.”

“Not a Sandler fan? We could get coffee or something.”

Lily tilted her head, wearing a pitying expression. Keith reminded her of her snot-nosed nephew, constantly asking his Auntie Lily to pick him up and hold him. She always told him no with the same look.

“Look, Keith, you’re a nice guy and everything, but I’m not interested.”

He nodded, returning his eyes to the floor. “I understand. A girl as pretty as you, I’m sure you have a boyfriend.”

“It’s not that. I mean, I am seeing Roy Vance but we’re not exclusive or anything. You’re just not my type.”

“But you don’t even know me,” Keith said, a petulant whine threading through his voice.

“I know you enough to know you can’t give me what I need.”

That sounded cruel even to Lily’s own ears, but she figured it was best to be totally blunt with him. It would save her the trouble of having to deflect his advances in more subtle ways over and over.
Cruel to be kind
, another of her father’s pet sayings.

Keith didn’t respond, but his entire body seemed to shake and she was suddenly afraid he was about to start crying. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand it was the sight of a grown man crying. To save herself from the pathetic spectacle, she turned and left the classroom.

***

The next time she talked to Keith was two weeks later, outside the Curtis Administration Building. She sat on one of the benches by the fountain, waiting for Roy. Keith walked up from the direction of Hamrick Hall and sat next to her.

“Hi, Lily. I noticed you hadn’t been in class this week, now I see why.”

She held up her left arm, showing off the cast. “Yup, more of my extreme klutziness. Don’t worry the bone’s not broken, just fractured.”

“What did you do this—”

“Well, what in the hell do we have here?”

Lily and Keith both turned their eyes to the front of Curtis, where Roy swaggered down the steps toward them. He was not quite as tall as Keith, but definitely as muscular. His face was pinched so tight it seemed all the features were being drawn into the center.

“Hey baby,” Lily said brightly, rising to her feet. “I was catching up with my good friend Keith here.”

“Oh, is this another one you’re fucking?” Roy spat, grabbing Lily’s good arm and jerking her to him.

Keith got to his feet. “There’s no need for that. We were just talking. We’re in the same Intro to Psych—”

“I’m not talking to you, dickweed!” Roy shouted, jabbing a finger in Keith’s direction while keeping a vice-like grip on Lily’s arm with his other hand. “Right now I’m dealing with this little whore here, but when I’m done pounding some respect into her, then it’ll be your turn.”

“Stop being such an asshole,” Lily hissed, trying to twist her arm out of Roy’s grasp.

Roy whirled around and backhanded her hard across the cheek. She collapsed to the pavement, using her injured arm to break her fall, causing a red-hot explosion of pain. She cried out.

Raising her chin defiantly as Roy approached, she refused to scuttle away. Before he reached her though, with his fist held high like a wrecking ball about to knock down a skyscraper, Keith suddenly tackled him from behind. The two men went scrambling past Lily and into the grass.

Several people ran over, and a couple of them were helping Lily to her feet. She was so dazed by the sudden eruption of violence that she wasn’t even sure if she knew them. Once she was steady on her feet, she turned toward the brawl, ready to yell for Roy to leave Keith alone . . .

. . . she was stunned by what she saw.

The reverse of what she expected to see. Roy lay flat on his back with Keith straddling his chest and punching him repeatedly in the face. Roy struggled feebly, his mouth and nose bloody. Keith made a high-pitched keening sound that sounded almost inhuman. His eyes were clouded over with rage, appearing to Lily as a force of nature.

Several men rushed over to the fighting duo (though Roy wasn’t really putting up much of a fight), including one of the history professors and a security guard, and attempted to break them up. Keith lashed out at them, connected a few punches, but finally he allowed himself to be pulled off Roy. On the ground, Roy rolled onto his side and curled into a fetal position. One eye had already swollen shut and his nose was misshapen, obviously broken. He moaned and cried incoherently, something Lily had never seen him do. If asked before now, she would have said he was incapable of producing tears.

“Someone better call for an ambulance,” the security guard said, looking at Roy, but then he turned his eyes to Lily. “Are you okay, lady?”

She couldn’t make her brain work enough to actually speak, but finally she nodded dumbly.

“I’d have them check you out to be sure. In the meantime, I’ll take this one down to the security office.”

Though Keith still breathed heavily, he had calmed down considerably. In fact, the rage that Lily had witnessed in his eyes earlier had eclipsed to something like fear or shame. He docilely allowed himself to be lead down the hill by the security guard.

***

Keith sat across from her in the booth, staring down at his coffee as if it were a crystal ball. She’d ordered a salad and some pasta, but he wanted only the coffee that he seemed to have no interest in drinking.

“Is Roy okay?” he finally asked, his voice so soft it was nearly inaudible.

Lily chewed and swallowed before answering. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen or spoken to him since the fight last week.”

“And you’re okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m glad you didn’t get kicked out of school over this.”

“I’m on probation but a lot of people saw Roy hit you, so the administration was pretty lenient on me.”

Lily smiled. “My knight in shining armor.”

“I shouldn’t have wailed on him like that,” Keith said. He looked miserable and shaken, like someone who’d gone through a tax audit that didn’t end favorably.

Reaching across the table, Lily placed her hand over his. “He was hurting me.”

“I’m not sorry I stopped him, I had to keep him from hurting you, but I lost control. I could have subdued him, but instead I became an animal. I think a part of me wanted to kill him.”

“You know, it almost looked like you were enjoying yourself.”

Keith hunkered down closer to his coffee cup as if he wanted to dive headfirst into it. “Guess you could say I had a relapse.”

“What?” Lily asked with a slight frown.

“I think I should come clean with you. I have a history of rage and violence.”

“
You?
But you seem so . . . passive.”

“Must mean I’m making progress,” Keith said with a humorless laugh. “I don’t know why, but I’ve always had a temper and very little ability to keep it under control. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve gotten into nasty fights. Usually ones I started. Two years ago I was involved in a fender-bender, an older guy ran into the back of my car at a red light. It was a tap, didn’t even really do any damage, but I certainly did some damage. I put the guy in the hospital. I don’t know how I avoided jail, I guess because I was only sixteen. I did have to agree to go into therapy, anger management and all that. I’ve been trying so hard ever since, and that’s one of the main reasons I self-isolate so much. I figure the less contact I have with people the less likely I’ll lose control. Unfortunately, I lost control this time.”

“Well, I know this will sound weird in light of what you told me, but I’m grateful to you. All I know is that you helped me.”

Keith met her gaze and tried to smile but failed. “So I take it your black eye and the cracked bone was more than you being a klutz?”

Lily had a heap of pasta halfway to her mouth, but she paused and slowly lowered the fork back to the plate. “No use lying about it now. Yes, Roy beat me, often and quite viciously.”

“Why’d you put up with it? Why didn’t you leave him?”

Shrugging with one shoulder, Lily spoke softly. “My father was abusive. One of my earliest memories is of him beating me until I bled because I knocked over my milk at the table. I grew up thinking that type of behavior was natural. I’m ashamed to say it’s a pattern that’s became ingrained in me, and my relationship with Roy felt normal. Like what I deserved.”

“You’re wrong. You deserve to be treated right. You deserve to be with a nice guy.”

Lily pushed her plate away from her, smiled at Keith and said, “I have an idea. Why don’t you take me out to a movie tonight?”

Staring at her in slack-jawed silence, almost as if he hadn’t understood what she’d said, Keith resembled a mentally handicapped person. Finally he blinked and shook his head as if to clear it of mental cobwebs. “Are you asking me out on a date?”

“No, silly, I’m asking you to ask me out on a date.”

“Lily, I said you deserved a nice guy. I think I’ve proven that isn’t me.”

She reached over and squeezed his hand again. “How about you let me decide what I need.”

***

They had been dating for two weeks when Lily showed up at the grocery store where Keith worked part-time as a bag boy to surprise him with hockey tickets. He took a break and walked outside with her.

“Lily, you know I love hockey, but these tickets are for Saturday night,” he said.

“Yeah, so?”

“You know that’s when I have my anger management classes.”

Lily stuck her lower lip out in what her father had always called her
baby doll pout
. “So what? As long as we’re together I’m supposed to spend all my Saturday nights alone?”

“With my school and work schedules, that’s the only day I can fit it in. I suppose it wouldn’t kill me if I skipped one Saturday though.”

“Or why don’t you skip
every
Saturday?” she said, putting her arms around him. “You told me you already fulfilled your court requirement for beating up the old guy that rear-ended you. You don’t need those classes anymore.”

“Are you forgetting what I did to Roy?”

“Those were special circumstances; the bastard had it coming. You are stronger than you realize. I’m telling you, you don’t need the classes.”

Keith looked into her eyes for a moment, biting his lower lip. “You really think I can do it on my own?” he finally asked.

“I’m sure of it. This will be the best thing for both of us, you’ll see.”

***

By the end of the third month, they were living together. There had been no real discussion, but the decision was reached. The change happened gradually as Lily spent more and more of her time away from the dorm and at Keith’s small apartment. Finally he told her she should move some of her things in.

He wasn’t happy when he got home from work that Friday night, though. He stormed into the bedroom where Lily was placing her various creams, lotions and perfumes on the vanity. “What the hell is going on here?”

She looked up with a bright smile, all innocence and light. “What do you mean?”

“A bunch of my stuff is down by the street. My dresser, several of my lamps, my mattress and bedframe!”

Lily nodded, still smiling. “Yeah, I had the gay couple upstairs help me carry it all down.”

Keith looked frantically around the room, as if searching for someone to help him understand his girlfriend’s crazy behavior. “Why on earth would you do that?”

“You told me I could move some of my things in, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but I didn’t mean for you to throw
my
things out.”

“Keith, I’m sorry, but there’s not enough room in this cramped little place for both our things. Besides, your stuff was so old and beat up I thought you’d be glad to be rid of it.”

Keith trembled all over and his face turned as red as a Valentine’s heart. He looked like a cartoon character, and Lily almost expected steam to start shooting out of his ears. When it seemed his temper was reaching critical mass, an explosion inevitable, he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. He didn’t open his eyes again until the trembling subsided and his color mostly returned to normal. When he spoke, his words were slow and measured. “I’m sorry, you’re right. You should feel at home in the apartment, which means having some of your stuff here. My bed and dresser were in bad shape and probably needed to go, but I did bring up the lamps. They belonged to my grandmother and I want to keep them.”

“That’s fine,” Lily said. “We can put them in a closet or something. And maybe we can buy some new stuff soon that isn’t yours or mine, but
ours
.”