Flowers on the Mersey (14 page)

‘I never thought I’d cry my eyes out at the sight of the Liver birds.’ Brigid wiped her damp face with the back of her hand as she hung over the ship’s rail.

Rebekah smiled faintly. ‘What are they supposed to be?’

‘Our Pat says they’re cormorants. I wouldn’t know. I always thought they were mythical.’ Brigid switched her attention from the Liver building to the waiting crowd below, and suddenly her face brightened and she waved madly. ‘Me mam’s down there, and our Kath and her kids!’ She put a hand over her mouth. ‘Oh Mary, mother of God, they’re all there! I think I’m going to howl again.’

‘What’s wrong with that?’ Rebekah straightened her shoulders. ‘Of course you’re pleased to see them, and I hope they spoil you soft.’ She moved away from the rail. ‘We’d better say goodbye now.’

Brigid stared at her and said unsteadily, ‘Yer’ll be all right? You have me address?’

‘Yes!’ Rebekah hugged her awkwardly. ‘Now go to your family.’

‘They’ll probably be fed up with me by Monday and Mam will be brushing me out of the house, saying that hard work’s the cure for all ills … to go and get meself a job,’ said Brigid in a muffled voice against her shoulder. ‘What about that aunt of yours and his lordship?’

‘What about them?’

Brigid held Rebekah off from her and said sternly, ‘Yer not to let them boss yer about.’

‘Fat chance,’ said Rebekah.

‘Hmm!’ Brigid frowned. ‘Yer not as tough as yer make out.’

‘I’m tougher than you think.’ She smiled. ‘Now are you going or not?’

Brigid grinned. ‘I suppose I’d better go and show me face.’

‘And I’d better find his lordship.’

‘He’s got his eye on yer, so watch yerself.’

Rebekah grimaced, ‘He’s got no hope.’

‘Good.’ Brigid gave her one last hug. ‘Keep yer chin up.’

‘And you. Now go or you’ll have me crying.’

‘It’d do yer good to cry.’

‘I’ve cried enough to fill an ocean. Go!’

Brigid went but kept looking back and waving
until out of sight. Rebekah knew that she was going to miss her terribly, but also that it was wrong to depend on her when she had her own family. She blinked back tears, tilted her chin and went in search of his lordship, Joshua Green, who was escorting her to her aunt’s house.

‘Thy father should have listened to me,’ said her aunt, standing in the doorway looking like a plump blackbird in mourning clothes.

‘So you said three times in your letter,’ murmured Rebekah.

‘It’s because I felt it so deeply.’ Her aunt dabbed at her eyes. ‘My poor Sarah. Men! They think they know it all.’

‘Some think they do,’ agreed Rebekah, remembering how she had struggled against blaming her father for what had happened all the way back across the Atlantic and the Irish Sea. ‘But Papa couldn’t have foreseen the other ship ramming us,’ she added. ‘And anyway it’s no use going on about it. Think about how now you’ve got to bear with me. I’m sure Hannah’s told you just what you’re letting yourself in for.’

‘Fellas,’ muttered Hannah, glaring at her.

‘Hundreds of them,’ said Rebekah drily, noting Joshua’s look. ‘I eat them for breakfast.’

‘Now thou art just being plain silly.’ Her aunt blushed.

Hannah grunted. ‘Thee’ll rue the day, Miss Esther. Trouble, that’s what thee’s taking in.’

‘Mind your place!’ intervened Joshua in a sharp voice. ‘You have no right to speak like that about Miss Rhoades. She has been through a lot and needs sympathy and care.’

The maid sniffed and without another word went back indoors.

‘I’ve had to speak to her severely myself the last week,’ murmured Esther, looking at nobody in particular as she picked up Rebekah’s bag. ‘Perhaps thou would like to come in, Mr Green, for a cup of tea?’

‘Some other time,’ he said brusquely. ‘Your niece is tired and I have to get home.’

The blush which had just begun to fade in Esther’s cheeks surged up again. ‘Suit thyself. Rebekah shall we go inside?’

Rebekah nodded but held out a hand to Joshua. ‘Thank you for looking after me. Could you let me know when everything is sorted out?’

He inclined his fair head and from his pocket took several banknotes, pressing them into her palm and folding her fingers over them. He held her hand longer than was necessary. ‘I’ll be in touch.’ His voice was warm.

‘I’ll look forward to it,’ she said politely. He hesitated, then kissed her cool cheek before striding off in the direction of West Derby Road.

Rebekah quickly dismissed him from her thoughts, pocketed the money and followed her aunt up the dark lobby into the sitting room. Somehow she had to cope with the next few weeks. The minister who had taken the memorial service had told her to think no further than one day at a time. Good advice, when even the simplest tasks were made difficult due to her broken arm! She struggled to undo her coat and her aunt hurried to help her.

Hannah stood watching them. ‘At least that broken arm will stop thy gallop.’ Her small dark eyes were unsympathetic. ‘That is, unless we’re gong to be having Mr High and Mighty Green calling every hour God sends.’

‘Hannah,’ protested Esther. ‘That’s uncalled for.’

‘Don’t worry, Aunt, we understand each other.’ Rebekah smiled at the maid. ‘Your condolences are really appreciated, Hannah.’

‘Hmmph!’ The maid turned her back on them and began to make tea.

Esther stared at Rebekah and shook her head. ‘I’m sorry, dear. But do sit down and tell me if we will be seeing much of Mr Green. He told me that he’s thy guardian. Is it true?’

‘It seems so.’ Rebekah prepared herself for another attack on her father.

‘It’s all wrong,’ cried her aunt, folding her arms across her bosom. ‘I’m thy next of kin! If my dear Sarah had had any say in the matter—’

‘If you go on about Papa again, I’ll scream,’ interrupted Rebekah in a firm voice. ‘And I can really scream if I want to. Ask Hannah! If I see a spider, I scream. If a man attacks me, I scream. Moaning and groaning, nagging and lectures, make me scream and want to carry on screaming. What I need is to be looked after, as Mr Green said.’ She sat in an armchair. ‘Am I allowed any of that food? I’m hungry.’

Her aunt appeared dazed. ‘Of course thou art, dear. Help thyself.’

‘It’s difficult with my broken arm,’ she said softly.

‘I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.’ Her aunt placed a couple of sandwiches, a slab of gingerbread and two scones on a plate, putting it on Rebekah’s lap. ‘What thou needs, my dear, is God in thy life. I remember going through a time when there was a big scream inside me.’

‘What happened to it?’ said Rebekah, forcing herself to eat a sandwich. Brigid had told her that she had to build herself up, although she had little appetite. ‘Did you let it out or did you swallow it?’

‘I am a Quaker,’ Esther said proudly. ‘Due to meditation and prayer, it went. We’ll take thee to Hunter Street, Rebekah, and there thou wilt find consolation. Then perhaps thou might wish to help out at St Anne’s Centre?’

‘Hunter Street?’ Rebekah’s eyes lifted from contemplation of her plate. ‘That’s the Friends’ Meeting House?’

Her aunt nodded, blue eyes fixed on her niece’s face. ‘Thy mam spoke of it?’

‘Yes. I don’t exist in their eyes, do I?’ said Rebekah, biting into a scone. ‘Mama went and did wrong, and was thrown out.’

‘I wouldn’t have put it quite like that,’ said her aunt, going red again. ‘Besides – that’s in the past. Thou can start with a clean slate.’

‘That’s nice.’ Rebekah’s voice was emotionless.

Her aunt seemed disconcerted and there was silence while she ate a scone. She dabbed her mouth with a napkin. ‘Perhaps thou would prefer going to the adult class in Breck Road?’ she suggested. ‘Thou could learn more about our ways there, and of the Bible.’

‘I know my Bible, Aunt Esther. Mama and Papa read it to me when I was young, and I also went to church. What I need at the moment is a bit of peace.’

Her aunt took a quick sip of tea before saying, ‘Peace! Thou should have been at the Peace Conference of all Friends in August. Rufus Jones gave the lecture. He compared the conscience to a lantern. Emotions upset our judgment – but we must see the light from God.’

‘God gave us our emotions,’ countered Rebekah.

Her aunt ignored her remark. ‘Thou must meet Ellen Gibbs who’s the same age as thee. She’s very keen on fighting for peace. She and her mother
attend my sewing circle on Monday afternoons. I take it thou can sew?’

‘I don’t think I’ll be sewing on Monday.’

‘We make garments for the poor but I presume from the only baggage thou hast, thou must be short of clothing. Perhaps thou can sew for thyself? I have some material. Thou wilt need some good combinations. It’s almost November and we can’t have fires in every room. Good thick wool will keep the draughts out and will see thee through more than one winter.’

‘I’ve silk underwear,’ murmured Rebekah, gazing down at her silk-stockinged legs and her small neat feet in the black crocodile skin boots with the tiny buttons up the side. ‘Mr Green had some brought into the nursing home for me to choose from.’

‘Silk! Mr Green!’ Her aunt’s brows shot up. ‘Thou wilt catch thy death of cold!’

Hannah tutted. ‘Disgusting! I told thee what she was like with fellas, Miss Esther.’

‘My knickers were bought with my money,’ said Rebekah, flashing them both challenging looks. ‘Papa purchased shares in Mr Green’s shipping line. They’re worth something … and not everything was lost when the ship went down. There was time to recover some property from the ship’s safe. Apparently Papa had been thrifty all his life.’

‘He had?’ Her aunt looked startled but her expression soon changed to one of satisfaction. ‘That explains a lot!’

‘What does it explain?’

‘It’s in Mr Green’s interests to be nice to thee if he knows all this.’

‘Of course it is,’ said Rebekah, determined to behave as if she had already thought of that herself. ‘And it’s also in my interests to be nice to him if I want money to spend. Until I’m twenty-five he controls the purse strings – but he seems a reasonable man so far, and charitable. He was telling me about the Seamen’s Orphanage that he takes an interest in.’

Her aunt seemed lost for words for a moment but not for long. ‘He wants to appear in a good light to thee.’

Rebekah took a firm hold on her patience. ‘He only told me about the orphanage because I asked about the collection box on the ship.’

Her aunt sighed. ‘It wasn’t right thy father leaving him – almost a stranger – in charge of thy affairs.’

‘I suspect Papa had an ulterior motive.’ Rebekah rose and went over to the window.

‘He did it to annoy me,’ said Esther.

‘I don’t think so,’ murmured Rebekah, remembering a conversation with her father on the ship. ‘There’ll be insurance as well, Aunt Esther. I could be a rich woman one day, so I think Papa thought it best to have a man in charge of my affairs.’

‘Fortune hunters!’ exclaimed her aunt. ‘And if they knew about my money—’

‘I told thee, Miss Esther,’ grunted Hannah, ‘just like wasps round a jam pot the fellas will be. We’ll have no peace.’

‘There’ll be no fellas – fellows, I mean – coming here,’ said Esther. ‘Does thou hear that, Rebekah?’ Her expression was severe.

‘I heard.’

Her aunt’s face softened. ‘My poor dear, thou can find satisfaction in other things. Perhaps it would help if thou involved thyself in the peace movement? I have a book written in the last century, called
Wanderings in War Time
. The author visited the Franco-Prussian battlefields. It’ll make edifying reading for thee when thou goes to bed.’ Rebekah murmured a thank you.

That night she found it difficult to sleep as she had on board ship. The mattress was as lumpy as ever, and the room was decorated with heavy floral wallpaper that looked as if it had been there since Queen Victoria’s Jubilee. Her mother had said that the furniture had come from the rooms above the shop. She decided that as soon as possible she would buy a new bed.

Her gaze washed over the ceiling and she was wishing that time could be switched back … that she was with Daniel gazing over Dublin Bay. Had he thought of her or never seeing Ireland, when he had been swamped by the freezing waters of the Atlantic? Oh God! Her sorrow seldom ended in tears now. It
was as if frost had blighted her capacity to cry. She picked up the edifying book on battlefields, began to read, was depressed even further, and threw it across the room.

Despite her aunt’s coaxing words, Rebekah did not go to the meeting house the next day. She had no desire to be welcomed back into the fold of the Quakers in the manner of a prodigal daughter. She doubted her ability to cope with people’s sympathy and well-meant suggestions. It was difficult enough dealing with her aunt’s overwhelming desire to have her as one of them. Nor did she attend the sewing circle. Instead she went walking in the park.

Her aunt was annoyed with her. ‘Ellen wanted to meet thee. She suggests that thou joins the Women’s International League for Peace and Freedom.’

‘Not now,’ said Rebekah in a lifeless voice. ‘I just want to be left alone. Can’t you understand that, Aunt Esther?’

‘No. I can’t,’ retorted her aunt, pursing her mouth. ‘I would have thought it easier to forget in the company of others.’

‘I don’t want to forget,’ said Rebekah, hugging her broken arm to her chest. ‘However much it hurts, I want to go on remembering.’ She walked out of the room, wishing she had Brigid to talk to, knowing that she would understand.

Yet over the next weeks Rebekah did not get 
in touch with her friend, believing that she might not want her company now she was back with her family. The fact that Brigid did not write or visit only seemed to confirm that belief. Neither was there word from Joshua Green, which surprised her.

Rebekah’s arm was freed from plaster and to her relief she was able to use it without much difficulty. She helped with the housework, which did not please Hannah.

‘Always under me feet thee are,’ muttered the maid, giving her a look that was positively poisonous. ‘Why don’t thee get yerself a proper job or go and see that man? No doubt he’d enjoy looking at thee legs. Short skirts! Sinful, I call them. But some girls would go to any lengths to get a man.’