Flutter (The Discover Series) (46 page)

I shook my head, feeling enthralled, sending a black waterfall of hair in every direction. The long stands cloaked my shoulders. Adan shifted his weight, and stretched out his arm toward me. His hand pushed away the silky weight of my hair off my shoulder. I trembled as the back of his finger trailed along the smooth curve of my collar bone.

“You mean I dreamt you here?” I corrected.

“Something like that.” His fingers following back up to my shoulder.

“Where are we?” I asked him and he looked around.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that question? Wherever it is, it’s beautiful.”

“
Paradise
.”

“You create works of art.”

I lay back, stretching over the hard surface of heated stone. “It’s beautiful here.”

“You’re beautiful.” He countered, his eyes sweeping the length of my body. “Mesmerizing.”

I turned my head to the side, my cheek pressed against the ground, my chin touching my shoulder. “It’s the sun, an illusion of beauty,” I told him, “it does something to my skin.”

“It’s you,” he said firmly.

I lifted up on my arms, studying the shadows of his face. He was wearing a black muscle shirt and shorts. The muscles of his chest rebelled against the material, defining every curve and line. His thighs and calves strained against the weight of his body. He was stunning.

Meeting his eyes again, he was staring at me with immense gratification. He didn’t shy away from my open admiration for him. He wasn’t embarrassed and didn’t
hide away from me.

“I’m glad you like what you see,” his grin was dangerous, but oh so sexy.

I didn’t respond right away. I was too busy trying to get my body under control. Being with him like this, it left my emotions in a whirlwind of chaos and I fought for the upper hand.

“What are you thinking?” He asked.

Looking up, I watched him for a minute before responding. “Don’t you know? You always seem to know exactly what I’m thinking.”

A smile tilted the corner of his mouth, and he looked apologetic as he answered me. “Not always,” he admitted. “You’re getting better at blocking me out, but I try to stay out of you’re thoughts. Sometimes I can’t help myself though. The desire to be surrounded by you is very hard to fight.”

I frowned. “I don’t understand.”

Again he looked apologetic. “I know,” he sighed, shifting his weight so he was resting on his knees. “Right now, you don’t need too, but I dread the day you do. You’ll hate me.”

“Hate you?” The words tasted foreign on my tongue.

“I can’t help myself though,” he said earnestly, and dragged his hand through his hair. I tried to focus on what he was saying, but I was losing the battle. I was losing
myself
: in his voice, his eyes. “The urge to tell you everything is overpowering and I end up letting things slip that I shouldn’t. Until you fully understand, it only confuses you more.”

I touched his arm, and sparks collected and shimmered up my arm. “This is a dream, Adan. You can tell me anything in a dream. The rules don’t apply here.” I was trying to convince us both.

“Our own rules huh? I like the sound of that,” he smiled at the thought. “Do you have any rules in mind?”

It was a seductive dare, and my body flushed under the implication.

“Not at the moment.” I looked away, kicking myself for not demanding what I wanted, and wondering why I was afraid too.

He lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. “No rules, remember?”

“No rules, no fear?”

His smile was warm, persuading. “Exactly.” His forehead touched mine and he closed his eyes, pinching them tight. “I want to kiss you so bad, but not like this. Not here, and definitely not when you think it’s a dream.”

I tried to hide my disappointment. “There you go again. Cryptic.”

He laughed, and cupped my cheeks in his hand. “You believe me don’t you? You believe that I want to kiss you, just as much as you want to kiss me. Maybe more.” His eyes were hungry as they searched mine, waiting for my answer.

“Yes.” I breathed. “I believe you.”

I could sense his relief. “Good.” He groaned suddenly. “I don’t want to, but I have to go.”

“Where?” Regret laced my question.

“Nowhere you would find interesting, baby girl. I desperately want to stay, but you should get some sleep.”

“I’m already sleeping.” I pointed out.

“Good point.” He laughed. “Lay back,” he whispered.

I hesitated for a split second before resuming my earlier position on the ground. His eyes traveled down and back up the length of my body before he leaned over me, positioning his arms on either side of my head.

“I’m a stupid, stupid guy,” he growled, and I felt the flutter swirl in my stomach at the raw sound. “Close your eyes, spitfire,” he commanded softly, and I did. I felt the teasing pressure of his lips over my eyelids, forehead, and cheeks. “Thank you for bringing me here, Sara,” he whispered.

I listened to the sound of my heart beating in sync with his breathing, and when I could no longer hear the soft sounds, I opened my eyes.

I was back in my room…

I was alone.

Flutter

Fifteen

Sincerely

I really needed to invest in a baseball bat!

I thought grouchily.

Groaning into my pillow, I lifted my arm and swatted around until I found my buzzing alarm clock. If it didn’t require me getting up and out of bed, I would have ripped the cord out of the wall and tossed the alarm clock out the freakin window.

I seriously loathed that thing.

Flipping around, I combed my fingers through the sides of my hair and grabbed the loose stands in my fists. My head was already pounding, and like every morning for the past week, I hadn’t even been awake a full five minutes yet. It had become an unwanted routine – go to bed feeling crappy, and wake up feeling crappier with a pounding in my head so excruciating that no amount of pills would get rid of.

I let my arms fall to the sides, and framed my throbbing temples with my hands. I thought about opening my eyes, but the simple act of moving my eyelids sent a shooting pain to the back of my eyes. Not that I needed to see what I was doing anymore, for the last week I was a walking circus performer and everyday was the same as the next.

Untwisting my limbs from the blankets, I flung them off of me, not caring that they made a puddle on the floor of my room. Even with all of the shades in my room drawn down over the windows, I could still feel the warm rays of the sun bathing my skin, illuminating my body with a soft glow. It was strange for the sun to seem so harsh this time of year and this far up, but we seemed to be breaking record highs left and right. I found it comforting, and somewhat rejuvenating, while others seemed to suffer from the extreme heat. It seemed to be making headlines in
Phoenix
as well, reaching outrageous highs. People were referring to it as the end of the world, but what didn’t happen these days that didn’t have something to do with the end of the world?

Finally finding the strength, I peaked through my lashes into what should have been a dimly lit room, and instantly relaxed under the orange and golden hues that decorated my room, transforming it into my own personal haven of tranquility. I could feel my headache starting to melt away. Even though it only came in bursts throughout the day and when I woke up, it was still a pain in the ass do deal with. I opened my eyes further when the last of the throbbing subsided, but I didn’t make a move to sit up yet. Lying there, I watched the little specks of dust floating around my room. Every once in a while they would reflect off the light just perfectly, so that it looked like I was being showered in glitter dust.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, working up to the task of sitting up. Sooner rather than later, I was going to hear Andres in the kitchen, preparing my pre-workout meal. It was something he had started doing the night he had found out I was skipping meals without even realizing it. Now he kept me properly fed at all times. He got tired, as I did, of hearing himself say how worn-out and jaded I looked this past week, and so he took it upon himself to make sure I was taking care of myself.

Not that I was purposely trying to neglect myself, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to shake this massive funk I was in. I started to get worried that something was majorly wrong with me, as I only seemed to get worse, but Andres swore that a better diet and sleep was all that I needed. Even though I found it hard to trust him, I listened to him anyway. Now we were going on day eight, and I still had yet to see any change in the way I felt, but I would continue to do what he told me to.

I wouldn’t say things had gotten better between us, I still believed he was lying to me, but I found my lack of energy made me less of a threat to confrontation. Pure exhaustion had also dulled my sense and my sass was at an all time low, so I wasn’t really able to hold up my end during a battle of the wits with Andres. I considered this a free pass for him, until I was once again the cynical monster he had created with all the webs of lies he was busy spinning these days.

I knew he believed he was protecting me from whatever it was he was trying to keep from me, but I don’t think he accounted for the severity of the damage he was doing to us, by keeping me in the dark. Which, despite the steady stream of devoted sunlight at my constant disposal, that was exactly how I always felt. I was walking - no scratch that -
stumbling
around. Crashing into everything, just trying to find my way around life these days, and no matter how hard I tried to reach out, the truth just seemed beyond my grasping fingertips. It was like Andres and…well, it was like they were dangling it just out of reach to me, teasing me with the facts that I begging for.

I could leave, and don’t think for half a second that I hadn’t thought about it and tried at least a dozen times, but I only got as far as down the street before I turned around with a little less of my pride. No matter how much I wanted to get away from all the deception, I loved Andres, and I couldn’t put him through that. Whether I liked or agreed with his methods, I knew he truly felt like he was keeping me safe. I could be angry, yell, scream, and pout over that, but I couldn’t desert him for it.

I knew the day would come, when he would no longer have me chasing my tail until I got dizzy and crashed into another lie. His time for keeping me in the corner was running out, and if that meant I had to tie him to a chair and threaten to catch on – maybe that was a little extreme. I would have to dial down the severity of my interrogation tactics to something a little less dramatic and life threatening.

Lifting myself into a sitting position, one of my legs dropped off the side of the bed, and I curled the other one
toward
me, until my foot rested against the inside of my other thigh. I dropped my head forward and moved it from side to side, stretching the hostile muscles in my neck. My hair swept back and forth across my lap, blocking out my peripheral vision with a cloak of darkness. Running my fingers through my hair, I flipped it to the side and my adjusted to the light. Stretching my back, I pushed myself out of bed and headed for the bathroom, so I could start the day.

I had no plans on changing. I had gone to bed in yoga pants and a dark purple cami, and all I planned to add to my attire was a shirt to cover my arms.

As I passed by my French doors, my steps halted and I turned to look out the glass, passed the backyard and into the woods. He was there, just like every morning and every night, watching me. I couldn’t see him, but I could always feel him there. I didn’t know how, but in some weird cosmic way, I was connected to him. He hadn’t come up to the house, or my room, since that last night a week ago, but he was always out there in the woods, and that was comforting enough for me.

Andres had asked me if I had seen him around since that night he had thought he was saving me from Scott. I left out the part about his visits to my room, but I told him I had. He nodded, and when I had questioned Andres about it, he had claimed to be as mystified as I was. Shocker!

One of the things I loved about my wolf the most: he couldn’t lie to me.

Moving passed the window, I walked into my bathroom, and went about my morning routine. When I was done brushing my teeth, I stood there placing both hands on either side of the sink, and leaned forward into the mirror. It was to the point now that I didn’t even recognize the person on the other side of the mirror.

I had dark blackish, purple circles around my eyes, and as if that weren’t distracting enough, my eyes were no longer a blended color of blue green. They had become dark and dull. My cheeks had sunken in a bit, making the bones stand out and I had lost most of the color in my lips. My naturally tanned skin had gone pale in a way I hadn’t thought was possible. It was almost as if the life was being drained from me.

My gaze dropped to my arm, and had my face not looked like it belonged in a horror movie, the dark print would have been the first thing you noticed. Actually it probably would have been a toss up between the two, they were both pretty atrocious to look at.

The marks hadn’t gotten any better - in fact it was getting worse, and just thinking about them had me rubbing the one around my ankle with my foot. Lifting my arm, I brought it closer to my face so I could inspect, I was constantly checking it. Little black lines had started to spread out from the edges of the dark mark, stretching out longer. I hadn’t told Andres about them, but if I knew that I was going to have to, and soon, very soon.

Rubbing the mark roughly, I let out a frustrated noise.

Grabbing a rubber band from the counter, I pulled up the long stands into a messy ponytail. Even my hair looked dull in color, gone was the blue tint that had highlight the black stands.

Grabbing one of the bags that cluttered the counter, I dug through it until I felt the little sponge and cover up. Twisting the lid, I squeezed the bottle and it formed a tiny brown pearl on the end of the sponge. Putting on the makeup, I went to work covering the dark circles. I found that Andres, and people in general, stared less when I did. I didn’t like the never ending stream of concerned looks and questions. It was just easier this way.

When I finished, I tossed the sponge
toward
the open bag, hit the switch, and walked out of the bathroom. Rummaging through my drawers, I found a shirt and pulled it over my head, stretching it into place.

I picked up the pile of blankets on the floor and threw them on the bed, not bothering to make it. I had already used up half my energy with just the little things I had done.

Pushing open the double door, I walked out onto the patio, picked up my sneakers, and sat down. Pulling out the beige wrap from inside my shoe, I lifted my foot and rested it on top of my knee. I started twisted the sticky material around my ankle, heel and half my foot. Andres had thought I used the wrap for added support, but it was the only way to hide the creepy mark from him.

I slipped the socks that I had gotten from my drawer onto my feet and finished putting my shoes on before Andres came outside to join me.

“Feeling any better today?” he asked, from behind me.

“A little.” And by that, I meant
not at all
. 

I wondered if that was clear
, I thought sarcastically.

“Good, good.” He came down the steps and stood in front of me. He was wearing his regular workout clothes, which included basketball shorts, a grey muscle shirt and a blue hoodie that he was currently zipping up. “Ready to stretch?” he already had one arm stretched over his chest, and was using the other to pull on the muscles at his shoulder.

It was what we did before every workout.

Standing, I clasped my hands together behind my back and flexed until I felt the strain in my chest. Bending over, I dropped my hands, touching the tips of my fingers, stretching out the backs of my thighs and calves.  We did a few more moves and I could feel my body loosening.

The sun was beating down on us. I could already feel the light sheen that stretching had left on my skin, and I knew it was going to be a very hot run. If we wanted to avoid the heat, we were going to have to wake up even earlier, but I quickly dismissed that thought. There was no way I was going to bring that up to Andres. I could handle the heat, in fact it didn’t bother me one bit, but I could not handle waking up any earlier.

“You good?” Andres asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“Yeah.” I said, pressing my foot
toward
my butt one more time before dropping it and jogging in step with Andres
toward
the trail.

Andres usually liked to start off at a light jog, just to get our bodies ready and heart rate up, but I usually didn’t need the warm up. I had no problem running anymore, and I could probably go for hours on end without getting winded. The muscles in my legs were now strong and durable - absorbing the impact each time my feet hit the ground flawlessly. No matter how long we would run, I never tired. I no longer felt the burning sensation attack the tissue in my calves and thighs after running for a long period of time and I loved it.

My lungs were well developed and endured the long workouts without complaint, and I never found myself feeling out of breath. I breathed in deeply, feeling my lungs expand and my chest expel in gratitude, inhaling the fresh morning air.

It was like my body had been designed for the speed and agility that was required to be a good athlete.

We mostly stayed on the trail, but when Andres was feeling competitive, or just plain bored with the trails, we would venture off into the woods. It was an adrenaline rush that coursed through my veins like venom, attacking my bloodstream until my entire body was buzzing with an unusual source of power. A good pick me up was something my body could definitely use right about now. It had been awhile since Andres had taken us off course, and my body was already humming in anticipation.

Whistling to Andres, I ran backwards ahead of him, side stepping the trail and jogging just on the edge of the forest. The tree scraps crunched under the pressure of my sneakers, as I paralleled my way past the lining of the forest,

Andres wore a knowing smirk on his face as soon as he realized what I was doing.