Fog (10 page)

‘The paternity test says he is,’ Kat answers coolly.

‘What? What paternity test?’

‘When I tested you for tuberculosis — before I offered you an apprenticeship — there’s a routine paternity test included,’ Runner begins. ‘We want to avoid the practice of Sequencers suggesting their own children for apprenticeships.’

‘You told me
all
Sequencers have contraceptive implants,’ I cut him off. My own implant — a small copper chain — leaks metal ions into my womb and kills everything that might want to settle down there.

‘Yes, that is correct. But the implants for males are hormone-based and lose their effectiveness after five to seven years, more or less after we’re done with puberty. We can then choose to get a fresh implant, control our urges, or get our spermatic ducts severed. Most Sequencers decide for the first option, but there’s no guarantee they actually do it in time. So we always test if potential apprentices are the offspring of the Sequencer who suggested them.’

‘You knew this…’ I jab my finger at the man on the screen, ‘…is my
father?
’

‘No, I didn’t. Matching a potential apprentice’s sequence data against our entire database takes too much time and is unnecessary. All we want to know is if the Sequencer who recommended you is in any way related to you. So I matched Cacho’s DNA against yours. The results were negative and there was no reason to tell you about it. Kat must have compared this man’s genomic data with yours today.’

She gives him a single nod.
 

Runner’s hand closes around my wrist. ‘Micka, sit down. Kat, focus on the problem. My apprentice is not the problem; these two men are.’

I lower my behind on the chair and stare at Kat. Her gaze doesn’t soften.

‘Why’s Cacho on this list?’ I ask.

‘Because he was his mentor,’ Runner answers. ‘Kat, pull up everything we know about them. Now.’

She opens a file from her database. ‘Cacho Bresson worked at the Swiss satellite control centre for thirty years and asked to be retired two and a half years ago. He went into retirement eight months ago, shortly before you took Micka into probation. Erik Vandemeer…’ Kat points at the other man, ‘…became Cacho’s apprentice when he was a boy of fifteen years. They worked together for seven years until Erik disappeared without a trace. The timing fits. Her mother ran into the young Vandemeer and had her fun with him before he received his implant and became an apprentice. And your apprentice chooses to keep her mouth shut. She’s either extremely stupid, or extremely stupid and a spy.’

Slowly, Runner leans back. ‘You have many qualities, Kat. A healthy trust to mistrust ratio is not one of them. You should think twice before you make that
our
problem. Would you trust me to suck up a bullet for you? No? I wouldn’t trust you, either. You know why? Because you don’t trust anyone. And why would you give your life for people you don’t trust? Of course, you wouldn’t, and that’s how you make that
my
problem, because I would step into the line of fire to save
your
ass, knowing you wouldn’t return the favour. But I know Micka would risk her life to save mine. She already did. So next time you feel the need to voice your mistrust, think of it as your private little problem that will one day cost you your life, or worse, the lives of your friends. Can you live with that?’

Kat is frozen. We all are. I’ve never heard Runner speak like this. The taste of metal spreads at the back of my tongue — the flavour of danger — of a knife carving letters into my back. I swallow.

‘I’m not the daughter of…my mother’s husband,’ I hear myself say.

‘See?’ Kat waves her hand in my direction. ‘She kept relevant information to herself until we discovered it and she can’t deny it any longer. I wonder what else she knows and doesn’t tell.’

‘I never heard
you
tell anyone how many men your mother had! Does that make you a spy?’ My middle fingers want to be in her stupid face; I curl my hands into fists.

Runner exhales a growl. ‘Do you know this man, Micka?’

‘This is the first time I’ve seen his face. All I ever heard was that my mother ran away with my brother and returned a few months later. She was pregnant, I was born, and I was not allowed to ask questions, because it wasn’t
becoming
.’ My skin is hot and itching. I want to yell at Kat, shake her, and make her understand how much her accusations hurt. But I remain in my chair, turmoil hidden behind my orange bangs.
 

‘The funny thing is that there’s not a single redhead in my village, so they all had to pretend I’m an aberration. So… Is this Erik a spy or what?’

‘These two are my top candidates to have leaked satellite control knowledge to the BSA. Ah!’ She presses both hands to her face then drops them to her lap. ‘What am I saying? Knowledge? We are talking about two of our best experts! They can enable the BSA to work more effectively and cover their tracks. I wouldn’t call them spies; I’d call them mass murderers.’
 

My abdomen cramps. I want to puke. My skin crawls and feels like it’s about to rot off my bones. I’m growing cold. From the corner of my vision I see Runner. His eyes are trained on me. Ben looks at Yi-Ting who looks down at me. Kat appears triumphant. I could kill her right this second. Neither of us moves. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m glad no one asks me how I feel.

I reach for my water canteen and take a sip just so I don’t have to look at anyone. Gradually I empty it, washing the acid from my mouth.

Yi-Ting’s hand flutters down onto my shoulder, her palm slips around my back and she pulls me into a gentle hug. ‘I am sorry, Micka.’

‘Hmm,’ I manage when she blows a kiss in my hair.

Runner pulls his knees up to his chest. He squats more than he sits. His jaws are working. ‘We have to corroborate this assumption. But so far it… Oh shit!’ He slaps his forehead. ‘I’m such an idiot. Did you ever ask yourself how Cacho convinced me to take an apprentice?’

‘I have wondered about that since I met her,’ Kat supplies.

‘He said, “That boy is the key to bringing down the BSA.”’

‘What?’ I squeak.

‘He lied to me, he knew I’d never take a girl as an apprentice. I’ve never had an apprentice in my life. He knew I wouldn’t even bother considering a girl. So he told me Micka was a boy. That I’d see she’s a girl the moment we met, must have been clear to him. I’m not sure why he believed I would offer her a probation. Unless…’ He squints and tips his head at me. ‘What does he know about you? Could he have guessed…’

I know what Runner is referring to. Could Cacho have guessed I was suicidal? Oh yes, he could have. He was probably one of the few who had an idea of the situation. I give Runner a single nod. His eyebrows are still drawn, his gaze is skeptical.

Runner tips his chin and turns back to Kat. ‘He knows me well enough, the old man,’ he muses. ‘But I still don’t understand why he said that Micka would be a key to the BSA’s demise. Except…’ he points at Erik. ‘Except, of course, if that man has a leading role — not too implausible given his expertise — and he’s still fond of his daughter.’

‘Come now. That’s a little too far-fetched, even for you,’ Ben says.
 

Kat nods at Ben, and points her index finger at Runner, then twiddles it against her temple in a
you have a screw lose
way.
 

For once, I have to agree with her.

‘I’m just exercising my brain,’ Runner says.

‘Or your imagination,’ Ben quips.

‘One needs imagination to put puzzle pieces together.’

I’m tired of the banter. ‘What’s next?’ I ask.
 

Runner folds his hands under his chin. ‘Kat, find out what Erik did in the past nine or ten years. Find a way to talk to Cacho.’ He turns to me and explains, ‘We can’t use satellite communication because it might be tapped, and we can’t use our amplifier for radio communication, because it works only one-way, sending signals from Taiwan to Itbayat. Kat insisted on it and I agreed, because it’s in enemy territory and safer that way.’

He faces Ben and Yi-Ting. ‘We can’t fly to the continent in the next couple of days. That would be too much downtime for the machine, and not even the BSA would believe it’s broken so often. For the moment, we pretend we know nothing. Training starts tomorrow at oh seven hundred, as does flying. Kat, keep looking at the other Sequencers, too. I want a background check on everyone.’ Runner pushes himself from his chair and leaves the comm tent. I extract myself from my chair, about to follow him.

‘One moment.’ I freeze at hearing Kat’s voice.

‘What did Runner mean? About Cacho knowing something about you, something he guessed. You said he knew. What did he know?’

‘My business,’ I say and step away from her.
 

Her hand grasps my shirt. She pulls me close to her face. ‘Do not play with me, little girl. You don’t want to see me angry.’

‘No, I wouldn’t play with you. Not for a second. I’d let you walk into my kill zone.’

Ben steps between us, loosens Kat’s grip on my shirt, and pulls me outside. ‘She hates not knowing things; she’s the intelligence expert. Off you run, sniper girl.’

‘Thanks, Ben. I really didn’t… I wasn’t…’

He offers a tired smile.
 

My chest contracts and I escape to my tent. Wild thoughts are chasing one another, ricocheting off my skull bones. I lie down on my bunk and stare at the fabric above. The moon is a bare sliver, some chopped-off silvery toenail that peeks through the entrance of my tent. I’m hungry and thirsty, but I don’t move. I don’t want to see anyone. But someone doesn’t know that and clears his throat. ‘Can I come in?’

If I can’t stand one thing now, it’s Ben’s sex drive. ‘I’m really not in the mood,’ I say.
 

‘I’ll be quick,’ he answers.

I jump from my mattress. ‘What?’

‘Sit. We need to talk.’ He plops down on my bunk, much too close for my taste.

‘I don’t know how much Runner told you, so I’ll try to cover the essentials. I’ve been doing this for years, so believe me when I say I know what I’m talking about.’

I scoot around on my butt. This feels awkward.

‘You probably wonder if you can kill someone. I don’t want to kill, but still, I’ve killed four people. Runner doesn’t want to kill, but he’s…killed many.’ He looks down at his hands, fingers tightly intertwined. ‘I’d like you to hang around for a few years longer, so… Pull the trigger when you meet the BSA. Don’t hesitate. Okay?’

I nod, cough, and nod again. But mostly, I want to jump up and leave.

‘There are other things you’ll experience in combat. When a friend dies, you’ll be glad it wasn’t you. And you’ll hate yourself for feeling this. But you have to know…’ Abruptly, he stands and takes two steps away from me. ‘You have to know that we all had the same thought when we were allowed to live and a friend had to die. Life is precious, and deep down everyone knows it, even the most suicidal of us.’

A memory creeps into my mind, that of Runner dying, of him slowing me down and me wishing he were already dead so I could save myself. Then comes another, much heavier one — my brother drowning and the horrible mix of despair and relief I felt.
I’m alive, I’m alive
. ‘I know what you mean,’ I croak.

‘You do?’ There’s surprise in his voice, but he doesn’t ask for an explanation. I’m glad. ‘There’s another thing. In extreme and life-threatening situations, your body will shut down certain functions. You might stop menstruating—’

‘Ugh, Ben! Stop it! That’s just…bah. Thanks for letting me know. Really. But I’m too tired to discuss bodily functions right now. It’s a bit…much.’

He stuffs his hands deep into his pockets and says, ‘I should have asked Yi-Ting to talk to you. But I couldn’t find her. She’s probably with Runner.’

That slams the last bit of air from my lungs.
 

‘Okay then. Good night, Micka.’

‘Hmm,’ I reply. I have no words. Ben disappears and I drop to my mattress, gazing up at the dark tent fabric, listening to the rushing of the wind and the ocean, and the clicking of cicadas. All thoughts circle around Yi-Ting, Erik, and Cacho. After more than an hour of this, I can’t stand it any longer and sneak out of my bunk to the kitchen tent to find cold rice, a handful of fruit, and a jug of water. I fill my empty stomach and head back to my tent. Just when I’m about to enter, I see a movement in the corner of my vision. I slip into a shadow and freeze.
 

Yi-Ting stands on tiptoe, her chest almost touching Runner’s, her chin tipped upward, waiting for a kiss. His fingers caress her cheek. My throat clenches. I turn away and dash into the forest. Far away is precisely the right place for me now.

Runner looks tired, his cheeks are stubbly, dark shadows loom under his eyes. He pokes at his rice with his chopsticks as if he wants to kill every single grain.
 

‘Hey.’ I plop down opposite him.
 

‘Hey.’

‘Where’s Yi-Ting?’ He looks up and I know at once I shouldn’t have asked. ‘Sorry. None of my business.’ My appetite vanishes. They must have had a wild night, the way he looks. We both lower our heads and stab at our breakfast.