Follow a Star (9 page)

Tired of lying in her bunk, May pulled on her fleece, crept past Bill, and went up on deck. Huge clouds still scudded across the dark sky and the telltale ribbons tied to the shrouds showed that the wind direction had budged in her favour. Running with the tide, it would probably take one final push to reach Little Spitmarsh. And at least they were getting away from Thunder, and anyone else who might recognise her. Bill didn’t need to know who she was or why she’d run away – although his suspicions about her being a gold-digger were irritating as well as hurtful, especially when she was more of a Sugababe than a sugar baby, but why risk making a simple trip complicated?

In her mind, she scrolled back to the day she’d finally decided that enough was enough. It was at the sound rehearsals for the opening day of the inaugural Ferrington Farm Festival on the South Downs, only the month before, when she’d finally been pushed too far. A hot June day when the air was sticky and claustrophobic. Already nervous, because she’d never felt comfortable on stage, she’d been unwise enough to read some of the press reports in the build-up and see the derisive comments about how ill-matched she was to the other acts. ‘Like the comedy invitee on Strictly Come Dancing,’ one of them read, ‘but at least you’ll know when to time the queue for the portaloos.’

When Aiden’s text had come through, she’d pounced to open it. She’d figured he must have read the adverse press too, so had sent her a loving message to make her feel special. What she saw instead tore her apart, her self-esteem so destroyed that not only had she been unable to perform but barely able to leave the house for the next month. After four long weeks of mental torture and recriminations, she’d finally seized her chance to escape.

‘You can’t sleep either, then?’ said Bill, from the companionway. He took the stairs and sat down next to her in the cockpit. He was still warm from his sleeping bag and seemed such a reassuring presence that for two pins May, who was feeling haunted by ghosts of the past, would have huddled into him for a hug.

‘I expect it’s that I’m afraid of oversleeping,’ she admitted, not trusting herself to meet his gaze in case she gave anything away. ‘We don’t want to miss the tide, do we?’

‘No,’ he agreed in a quiet voice. ‘We don’t.’

Maybe he’d been right to warn her about the emotional dangers of close-quartered living, because being around him had given her a sense of what life could be like if she hadn’t got herself in such a mess. Bill, earning a living with his hands, doing the decent thing for his elderly uncle, made her wish she could cast off, sail away for good and start again. Leaning towards the comfort of his body heat despite herself, May’s attention was drawn to a narrow window on the boat across the pontoon where something she couldn’t quite identify appeared to be waving at her. What was especially intriguing was that although every vessel on the water was gently rocking from side to side, this was a definite up and down movement and quite a fast one at that. Even knowing that it was terribly bad manners to stare into someone else’s yacht didn’t stop May standing up to get a better look at what was happening on board
Valhalla
.

After puzzling at the sight for a minute, May felt herself go bright red as she realised that she was looking at Paige’s unleashed breasts. If Paige had any qualms about bedding Thunder, she was doing an excellent job of disguising her reluctance. Oh, well, it took all sorts. Maybe she really did fancy him? Omigod! May gasped as, instead of seeing Thunder’s wizened head rearing up from below, it was Blaise revelling in Paige’s embonpoint.

‘I don’t think Thunder need have any fears about Paige mothering Blaise,’ she said weakly. ‘Smothering him possibly.’

‘Yes,’ agreed Bill, who didn’t sound as if he was entirely concentrating on what she was saying. Moving away she was nearly knocked sideways by a sudden gust of wind and only prompt action by Bill stopped her falling over the guardrails. Some men would have been so engrossed in the revelations on the boat opposite that she could have toppled unnoticed over the side, and it wasn’t a good night for a swim. It was an endearing thought.

He was wearing his shabby green hoodie and had a not quite fresh smell that was much closer to the just-showered end of the spectrum than the rank-as-a-polecat end and which she found surprisingly attractive.

‘May, about earlier, I’m sorry. I was suspicious of you to start with – I had to be, for Cecil’s sake. And I definitely wasn’t comparing you to Paige; you’re funny and sweet and …’ his voice dropped as he mumbled self-consciously, ‘… naturally sexy.’

Aha! That was it. Watching Paige’s antics had obviously made Bill a little hot under the collar. Which was unlucky for him as she wasn’t about to play that game. Was
this
what he meant when he likened life aboard a small boat as being an emotional pressure cooker? Boy, was she about to put him in his place!

‘And hurting all over by the looks of you,’ he continued, giving her a brotherly pat on the back. ‘It’s none of my business to know what you’re running away from, but I want you to know, May, that you’re safe with me.’

Safe again, May told herself, taking a quick glance over her shoulder into the soft nacreous morning light which transformed the harbour into a shimmering, ethereal city on a rolling, quicksilver sea. Both it, and the crew of
Valhalla
, were disappearing into the distance, much to her relief. Although, while she could be certain of avoiding unwelcome revelations out at sea, there were other dangers ahead – sandbanks, sudden pockets of poor visibility and the busy construction traffic to-ing and fro-ing from the massive offshore wind farm – however, Bill assured her there was no chance of them being chopped up by a rotating turbine.

Scanning the horizon with the icy breeze lifting his copper curls, Bill wouldn’t have looked out of place in an outdoor clothing catalogue. Even his expression was suitably enigmatic. A black body warmer over his hoodie and dark twill trousers was his only nod to the glacier-fresh morning whilst May shivered in a jacket and fleece and the kind of woolly hat she would have curled her lip up at anywhere else but here.

Catching herself wishing she had something more becoming to wear, May realised she was in danger of falling into her old habit of trying too hard to please. Aiden liked her to dress according to his tastes, but that didn’t mean she needed to solicit Bill’s approval for everything she wore too. Whether Bill liked her or not was of little consequence; once
Lucille
had been delivered the chances of bumping into him again were only slightly higher than winning the lottery two weeks in a row.

May remembered to check the compass bearings, before she steered them back to where they’d come from. The break in the weather, which had given the opportunity to move on, also meant the wind had turned fickle, forcing them to rely on the very sluggish engine. Slogging out towards the North Sea keeping a sharp lookout all the time for shallows in one direction and freight ships in another was quite a test of endurance. Over the centuries countless boats and ships had been lost there and, after rough weather, old wrecks had sometimes surfaced, bleak reminders of lost lives, only to disappear when the sands shifted again and swallowed them up. Well, May decided, she wasn’t an old wreck yet and she had no intention of letting herself be swallowed up either, so the only option was to hold her new course and see what lay ahead.

‘Ready about,’ she shouted to Bill, watching him uncleat the sheet to the mainsail as the wind picked up at last. May hoped she sounded less nervous than she felt. Steering the boat up through the wind was potentially hazardous and she was particularly mindful of reading somewhere that most accidents at sea were caused by a wildly swinging boom, the heavy wooden spar at the foot of the mainsail holding it in place.

‘And, lee ho!’ May ducked as the boom swung over her head and prayed that Bill had also taken avoiding action. She’d much prefer it if he wasn’t knocked unconscious or, worse still, flung over the side. Bill probably would too, she thought, throwing a quick glance at where he was supposed to be and finding, to her relief, that he was still on board. Proving there was nothing like a well-executed manoeuvre to forge a sense of teamwork and togetherness, just as there was nothing like a bad one to set sparks and mutual recriminations flying, they beamed at each other like proud parents as
Lucille
responded beautifully to the change of tack.

‘Well done,’ Bill murmured. ‘How are you feeling?’

‘Oh, fine,’ May responded heartily.

Bill considered her for a while. ‘You know, before my ex-wife left she told me she’d got so used to eating alone, sleeping alone and finding things to do on her own at weekends that she didn’t need to come second to the business any more. She said she had all the tools to build her own life and that’s what she intended to do. It was over. No discussion. No turning back. Finished.’

His bleak expression made May wince.

‘While I’d been working all hours trying to secure our future she’d decided she could do without me. I couldn’t believe that she was gone; every time the phone rang I thought it would be her asking to come back. When it finally sank in that she meant it, I was so hurt and so angry that I took it out on every woman who crossed my path. I thought that I could use them the way I’d been used. Any more close encounters and I’d have been invited to join the crew of the
Enterprise
.’

May had a look to see if he was boasting. He wasn’t.

‘Anyway, when I finally stopped punishing totally innocent people I realised that it wasn’t entirely my ex-wife’s fault either. The fact was that I’d put the business first because it
was
more important to me than being with her. Somewhere along the way I just assumed that her priorities were the same as mine. Looking back, I never even stopped to ask her what she wanted and she didn’t tell me until it was too late.’

Too late! The lovers’ death knell. It brought a terrible lump to her throat just to think about it. ‘Oh God, Bill,’ she croaked. ‘That’s so sad. You must miss her so much.’

Bill looked staggered. ‘My marriage broke up because neither of us cared two hoots about the other. We could have spent the rest of our lives being totally indifferent to each other if Suze hadn’t found the guts to walk out the door and give us both the chance of a fresh start.’

Now
she
felt used. ‘So if everything’s so wonderful why the hell are you dumping all this on me?’

‘May! What do you think I’m trying to tell you?’ He dragged a hand through his ruffled hair. ‘Look May, it’s not difficult to guess that you’re running away from something; you wouldn’t have signed up for this trip if you hadn’t been in a hurry to get away from something or someone. But whatever it is that’s troubling you you’ll probably find it’ll work out for the best anyway.’

Fighting to control her trembling voice, May turned to him. ‘Bill,’ she mumbled.

He looked up at her, the harsh lines of his face softened with compassion, watching her with eyes that inkily reflected an ominous sky.

‘Yes, May?’

Suddenly all the blood seemed to rush back to her head at once. ‘What the FUCK has it got to do with you?’

Giving way to a lava flow of hot angry tears May was forced to abandon the helm whilst Bill quickly hove to. Apart from the occasional tear which had, very rarely, trickled through her guard, she hadn’t really cried for months and now that the floodgates were open she couldn’t stop. Lost in her own misery May hardly noticed what was going on around her, but gradually became aware of the solid, safe, comforting warmth of another body against hers and strong arms holding her tight.

Squinting up, May had a watery vision of a broad chest and a firm, masculine chin. Bill! Bill’s arms were holding her close to him. Bill was pulling off her ridiculous hat and sliding his hands through her hair. Bill’s lips were bent to her ear, telling her softly that everything was all right. Bill’s voice which seemed to have developed a throaty break and, like the tender caress of his fingers on her cheek, was making her forget all kinds of essentials, like how to breathe.

If she held herself very still maybe he would forget she was there and she could remain pressed against him, suffused in the scent of warm
male body, feeling the rise and fall of the wall of his chest beneath her fingers. Certainly Bill seemed in no hurry to let her go. In fact one hand was clasping her closely to him whilst the other moved over her back in a slow, sensual caress that stopped her tears and sent shivers down her body. Any more of this and she would start to think he was quite enjoying holding her.

‘May?’

Lifting her head warily, in case she woke up, her heart skipped madly as she met his gaze. Hardly daring to move, she told herself that any minute now he would release her, but hoped against hope that he wouldn’t. Her hand shot up before she could stop it and the next thing she knew she was trailing her fingertips over his face, the harsh lines of his cheekbones, his warm mouth.

‘Oh, May!’

Wow! She didn’t know she had a pulse
there
,
but now all kinds of strange places seemed to be throbbing. His fingers pushed her hair back from her face and she couldn’t believe that his touch, as he stroked the soft skin behind her ear, could give so much pleasure. His mouth caressed her skin, her eyelids fluttered and the small sound that could either have been denial or pleasure turned into a banshee wail of alarm as she noticed the huge hull of a bulk carrier filling the horizon as it bored down on them.

‘Shit!’ Seizing the helm, Bill moved fast. ‘Life jackets, quickly!’ he ordered May as he coaxed
Lucille
into going about. ‘And the grab bag too.’

Her body moved but her brain stalled. The grab bag? The grab bag was there for emergencies. Packing a grab bag was one thing; water, chocolate, flares and space blanket etc. Yes, packing it was fine; quite fun really to throw in the Mars Bars never dreaming for one moment that she might actually end up bobbing around in the sea trying to eat one. A glimpse over the side at the sinister green water swirling around them made it even harder for her to fasten her life jacket. She really, really did not want to end up down there.