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Merlin refuses to budge.

‘I think he's enjoying the attention,' Leanne whispers to me.

‘What are we going to do if he doesn't come down?' I respond. ‘Claire's going to be so upset.'

‘What's the phrase? Never work with children or animals?' Leanne says with a half-smile.

‘Merlin, get yourself down here, you little bugger,' Rob mutters.

‘Mummy, that man sweared,' Poppy says out loud.

‘Sh, you'll frighten the owl,' Emily says.

‘He won't come down. He's a naughty monkey, isn't he?' Poppy goes on.

‘He's an owl actually,' Murray says dryly.

My neck is beginning to ache as I stare upwards, willing, praying even, for the owl to fly down, but all he does is shuffle to the end of the ledge.

‘Don't go to sleep,' Rob calls. ‘Please, don't . . .'

‘How long do owls sleep for?' I hear Claire asking. ‘Aren't they nocturnal? He'll be up there all day.'

I want to run from the church in tears for letting my best friend down and ruining her big day, but I glance towards Lewis who is gazing up at the owl with an expression of shock. Apparently aware that I'm looking at him, he turns and mouths with a wry smile, ‘Owl be with you, or maybe I won't.' I suppress a giggle, suddenly able to see the funny side of the situation.

‘You think you're such a hoot,' I mouth back, before turning my attention back to the reluctant ring-bearer. Merlin cocks his head one way and then the other, and finally launches himself from the ledge, swooping down to Rob's arm to a collective sigh of relief, laughter and applause.

‘He's come back down.' Poppy squeals with delight while Claire embraces Kev, dislodging her tiara and veil, which Leanne rushes forwards to put back in place.

Harry unclips the rings with trembling fingers and places them on a velvet cloth for the vicar, before Rob carries the owl back along the aisle, allowing the wedding to continue, the only further hitch being the hitching together of Claire and Kevin as husband and
wife. When Kev kisses his bride, Lewis winks at me and I blow him a kiss back. It's strange, but I feel as if we've been together for ever and Paul and I never happened.

Claire and Kev hold hands as they walk down the aisle, nodding and smiling. Leanne and I follow, along with Harry and Kev's twin nieces in blue dresses with flowers in their hair. Outside, in the sunshine, we shower the bride and groom with a swirling confetti of rose petals before the photographer runs through Claire's list of required poses. When it's the turn of the groom's family, I take a break, joining Murray and Emily.

‘I want an owl,' Poppy says, tugging on her mum's sleeve.

‘An owl wouldn't make a good pet,' Emily says. ‘They don't always do as they're told for a start.'

Poppy puts her hands on her hips and tosses her ringlets. ‘I want an owl,' she repeats belligerently.

‘We have owls on the farm,' Murray says.

‘When can I have a kitten?' Poppy tries a different approach.

‘One day,' Emily says, and for this occasion the response is enough. Poppy runs away with Lewis for a brief game of hide and seek amongst the gravestones, with the other little bridesmaids who are growing bored with proceedings.

‘It's a shame you couldn't bring Daisy with you,' I say.

‘I understand where Claire's coming from – she doesn't want a crying baby ruining her day. I'm quite
surprised she invited Poppy, although I'm pleased she did. It's good to give her some time away from her little sister and vice versa – I turned my back for a second yesterday and she'd half choked Daisy on a grape. A whole grape? She's six months old.' Emily's voice sounds strained.

‘Would having a pet distract her attentions from the baby?' I suggest.

‘I'd be afraid she'd kill the pet instead. I don't think she's old enough to bear the responsibility, and Murray and I, we haven't got time for anything else. It would be too much. We're both completely frazzled by all the broken nights.' Emily sighs. ‘I know this sounds terrible when you . . . There are days when I wish we'd never had Poppy.'

‘You don't mean that.'

‘There are times when I do.'

‘It will get better, I promise.' I want to add that one day she'll look back and smile at the naughty things Poppy has done, but I don't think that will help at the moment. ‘I can see you're struggling. Just tell me what I can do.'

Emily opens her mouth to respond, but I cut her off.

‘Don't try to convince me you're coping when it's clear you're not, and don't feel that you're imposing on me. You're my sister and I want you to be happy. Let me have Poppy for a day.' I hold up my hand. ‘No arguments.'

‘Thank you,' Emily says.

The wedding party decamps to the Barnscote Hotel
for the reception; when we arrive, Claire decides she needs a visit to the Ladies.

‘If I ever do this again, remind me to allow for the owl,' she says, laughing. ‘That was genius, Zara. I've never seen a ring-bearing owl at a wedding. I hope someone took a picture of it when it was flying down the aisle.'

‘I don't think they did – flash photography puts him off. You had some photos taken with him outside the church, didn't you?'

‘He's so beautiful. I half expected Harry Potter to turn up. Thank you, it was the best wedding present we could have had.' Claire hands Leanne her bouquet as we reach the toilets. ‘How do you expect me to get in there with the dress?'

‘With difficulty,' Leanne giggles. ‘Here comes the bride, all fat and wide.'

‘Are you going in forwards or in reverse?' I ask.

‘It'll have to be reverse. I'll never turn round in there.'

‘You might do it as a four- or five-point turn.'

‘This is ridiculous. I didn't think about it when I chose the dress.' Claire is laughing as she turns to me. ‘Don't let the train drag on the floor.'

‘I won't.' I gather it up tightly in my arms. ‘Let's drape it over your shoulder and see if you can manage, otherwise I'll have to join you in there.'

I push the door up as far as it will go and wait outside, holding it semi-closed.

‘Has everyone turned up?' Claire asks.

‘Gran came along with Lewis.'

‘That's good. I hoped she would.'

‘The only guests who couldn't make it are Tessa and Jack. Tessa isn't well.' I worry about them, wondering if they're trying to avoid questions about the baby, because I can't imagine they can answer with any joy. I make a mental note to call Tessa on Monday for a chat. ‘Are you okay? You're taking a very long time in there.'

‘I'm done,' Claire says.

‘Let's go and get this party started then,' Leanne says. ‘I'm starving.'

‘So am I. I feel a bit light-headed and I haven't had that much champagne.' Claire emerges clutching the train and looking pale beneath the fake tan. She has that delicate, almost translucent appearance that I've seen many times before and I can't help wondering . . .

‘Come on. Stop dreaming about the hot shepherd and come and catch this bouquet,' Claire says, handing me the train once she's washed her hands and taken the flowers from her sister.

‘I'm all right, thank you,' I respond. ‘I've had my chance at marriage. Let someone who hasn't have a go – not that I believe there's any truth in it.'

‘Don't spoil my day,' she says brightly as we join the rest of the wedding guests in the dining room. ‘Humour me.'

Kev escorts his new wife up to the mezzanine gallery and introduces her before she turns to throw the bouquet over her shoulder. She puts so much energy into it that the flowers hit the ceiling above and drop straight down into my hands when I couldn't have tried any harder to avoid them.

‘Yay!' Claire cheers from above. ‘Zara, you're next!'

‘Oh no, I don't think so.' I hold the flowers as far from my body as possible, as if they're infectious, while Claire runs down the steps, holding up her skirt, comes over and hugs me. ‘It'll be my turn to laugh at you when you're planning your wedding.'

‘I've told you before. I'm not going to marry again. I've been there before, remember?'

Claire nods towards where Lewis is chatting with my gran, Emily and Murray. ‘I have a premonition that someone will change your mind. Now, I'm going to catch up with my mum who's having a nervous breakdown before we sit down for the meal. Have you got the seating plan?'

‘I gave it to Elsa to put up on the board outside.'

‘Would you mind making a couple of changes?' She whispers in my ear.

‘Will do.' I catch the silken fragrance of roses from the bouquet. There has to be some matchmaking to make a wedding complete. ‘What shall I do with the flowers?'

‘I don't know – leave them on the top table?'

‘Isn't it on the plan?' I tease.

‘Oh, sod that. I've lost the plot.' Claire laughs. ‘Let's just relax and enjoy it.'

Lewis joins me with a glass of champagne in one hand and his other hand on my bottom. I lean up and kiss him on the lips, then step away, or at least, I attempt to, but I appear to be stuck to the floor. I glance down.

‘Lewis, you're standing on my dress.' I give him a gentle push and, chuckling, he moves aside. ‘I'm just
going to rescue those people over there from Rosemary. The sherry has gone to her head.'

‘Thank you,' I say smiling as he walks across the room to take my grandmother by the arm and guide her back towards us.

After the meal, Harry makes the best man's speech. There are a couple of stories about Kevin which shed an entirely different light on what I thought of him, and from Claire's expression are revelations to her too, followed by a list of thank yous.

‘Finally,' Harry looks relieved that he's about to reach the end of his ordeal, ‘last but not least, the bridesmaids who are all, I have to say, looking absolutely beautiful today, not that they don't always, I'm sure. Zara and Leanne, I'd like to spank you for all you've done today.' He stops abruptly as those who are still listening, a fair few, burst out laughing. ‘Did I say what I think I said?'

‘You have such a dirty mind, Harry,' Kev exclaims.

‘I'm sorry, I didn't mean it. I meant to say thank, not spank. Definitely not spank,' Harry blusters, reddening to the roots of his hair.

‘I'm not sure I'd say no,' Leanne whispers aside to me as Lewis calls out, ‘Hey, hands off my girlfriend. If anyone's doing any spanking, it's me.'

When the next round of laughter subsides, Poppy comes up to the top, table and gazes at Harry in awe as she asks him if her auntie Zara has been very naughty.

‘I don't know,' Harry says. ‘You'll have to ask Lewis that.'

‘No, please don't.' I cover my face.

‘Yes, spare my bridesmaid's blushes,' Claire joins in.

‘It's too late!' I exclaim.

‘You could melt a marshmallow on your cheeks right now, Zara,' Claire grins.

Distracted, I dig around in my bra for Claire's wedding day spreadsheet, and open it up. ‘Harry, nowhere on here does it say, embarrass the bridesmaids.'

‘Hey, give that to me.' Claire reaches across and snatches it from my hands.

‘What are you doing?'

‘Celebrating my freedom. I've been ruled by this piece of paper, this plan, for over a year.' She holds the corner in the flame of one the candles in the floral centrepiece on the top table.

‘You rebel, you,' I say, watching it catch and burn, at which Kev pours a glass of water over the top.

‘If you persist, wife of mine, I'm going to have to arrest you for criminal damage.'

‘Do I get the full treatment, the uniform and the cuffs?' Claire giggles.

‘That's too much information,' Leanne squeals. ‘Really!'

The bride and groom cut the cake with its nurse and policeman topper and we drink a toast while the band sets up in the next room, ready for the dancing. Claire and Kev take to the floor for their very first dance together before everyone else joins in.

Towards the end of the evening, I begin to lose myself, dancing to the slow numbers in Lewis's arms. Emily brings me back to earth, tapping me on the shoulder. I stop with Lewis's arm around my waist.

‘I'm sorry for cutting in, but we're off home. Poppy's in a strop and Gran seems very muddled. We'll drop her at the flat. Don't worry, I'll make sure she's tucked up in bed with her cocoa or whatever she has before we leave.'

‘I don't wanna go home,' Poppy wails as the band pauses between numbers. ‘I wanna stay here.' Her voice is drowned out by the sound of drums and a bass guitar.

‘I'll come and say goodbye outside,' I suggest as Lewis's hand slips down to my buttock.

‘Is Lewis coming to say goodbye?' Poppy asks.

‘Yes, please,' Emily says, answering for him. ‘And if he could just come back and read a bedtime story. Only joking . . . I really should have taken you on as our full-time nanny. Lewis is the only person, apart from Grandma, that Poppy takes any notice of.'

We head outside into the cool evening air and send Poppy on a search for the family car, but she doesn't want to have anything to do with it. She folds her arms and stamps her foot on the gravel as Lewis and I, Emily and Murray look on somewhat helplessly.

‘Poppy, it's dark and it's way past your bedtime,' Murray says.

‘It's not dark. Look.' Poppy points to the lanterns that are dotted around the car park.

‘It's still past your bedtime,' Murray insists.

‘It's past
your
bedtime, silly Daddy.' Poppy scampers off towards the line of vehicles nearest the exit, and I can almost hear Emily's sigh of relief that she's decided to go along with the idea of looking for their car.