Fool for Love (5 page)

He got up from his lounge and came over to
hers, arranging himself so he was holding her from behind, her head cushioned
by his shoulder. "Think of it this way—you can do anything you want now.
Anything at all."

"All I've ever wanted was to marry
David and have our four kids and live on the island."

"For a long while, you also wanted to
be a vet," he reminded her.

"That was ages ago. I'm too old for
that now."

"Who says?"

She snorted. "I've been out of school
for six years. That ship has sailed."

"You can summon it back to port if
that's what you want."

"Nice metaphor, Captain, but I can't
imagine going back to the grind of school and studying and all that. I've
gotten far too lazy."

"There's got to be something else
you'd like to try, something you've never gotten the chance to do."

Sadness engulfed her, an ever-present
reminder of her new reality. "Modern women everywhere would cringe to hear
me say that what I wanted most was to be his wife and a mother to our children.
That's how I've pictured my life since I was fifteen years old."

"You don't have to draw a new picture
overnight."

"I know. What did you get at the
store?"

"Salmon."

"That sounds good. After you left, I
felt bad that I'd forgotten to remind you."

"That you're a vegetarian? How could
I forget the scene you made when you found out steak and hamburger comes from
cows?"

"I cried for a week."

"I remember." Joe reached for
her hand and went still behind her.

"What?" she asked, turning her
head so she could see him.

"You took it off."

"I couldn't stand to look at
it."

He rubbed the groove the ring had left in
her finger. "You loved that ring."

"I loved what it stood for even more,
but I guess I was alone in that."

Joe held her gaze, his heated eyes sending
ripples of sensation darting over her skin. "It's his loss. He had no idea
how lucky he was to have you."

"Let's not talk about him anymore. I
don't want to think about him."

"Whatever you want."

She snuggled deeper into his embrace.
"Could we just stay here for a while?"

He tightened his hold on her and pressed a
kiss to the top of her head. "Absolutely."

As they worked in Joe's spacious kitchen to prepare dinner, Janey was struck by
how comfortable he seemed there, as if cooking was more a hobby than a
necessity. She added the discovery to the growing list of things she'd learned
about him in the last two days.

"I never said how much I like your
house. It's beautiful."

"Thanks. It was a work-in-progress
for a lot of years. Sometimes I still feel like I should be painting or working
on something, but it's finally done."

Astounded, Janey gazed around at the
intricate tile backsplash, the granite countertop, the wood floor, the track
lights over the center island. "You built this place
yourself
?"

"Every nail. Took me five
years."

"Wow." Watching him proficiently
slice and dice vegetables for a salad, Janey realized that even though she'd
known him most of her life, she really didn't
know
him at all. "I
had no idea." She laughed. "I never gave much thought to where you
lived over here."

He shrugged. "Building this place
kept me busy and off the streets."

She took a sip of chardonnay. "Why
haven't you ever gotten married?"

The hand that had been rapidly chopping
slowed. He glanced at her. "Just never got around to it."

"You've had no shortage of
candidates," she said with a teasing smile.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Every time I turn around, you're
dating someone new."

"I didn't realize you were keeping
score."

"I'm not, but you know how it is on
the island. People talk."

"About
me?"

Janey giggled at the face he made.
"Well, you are one of the more eligible bachelors in the area. A handsome,
successful businessman. A
captain
."

"What do they say about me?"

"Oh, you know, different day,
different girl."

He put down the knife and wiped his hands
on the towel he'd tossed over his shoulder. "For real?"

Janey shrugged, caught off guard by his
dismay. "You know how it is over there. They've got nothing better to do
than gossip."

"And you believe it? That I'm what? A
man-whore?"

"Whoa, Joe! I never said that!"

He picked up the platter of marinating
salmon and headed for the deck.

Unnerved by his reaction, Janey followed
him. "I didn't mean to upset you."

He put the salmon on the grill and closed
the lid. "You didn't."

Janey placed her hand on his shoulder,
urging him to turn around. "Yes, I did. Talk to me."

He turned and rested his hands on his
hips, his posture rigid.

"Joe?"

His face twisted into a hard-to-read
expression. "It's just that…"

"What?"

"That's not how it is."

"You don't have to explain anything
to me."

"I need you to know…"

"It's none of my business. I
shouldn't have said anything."

"It is your business!" He ran his
hands through his hair in a gesture of supreme frustration.

Janey watched him, baffled by the
intensity of his reaction. "How is it my business?"

"God, Janey," he said softly as
he gripped her shoulders. "How can you not know? Some days I feel as if I
walk around with a neon sign strapped to my back."

"I don't understand," she said,
unnerved by his torment.

He released her and moved to the rail that
faced the harbor. Bending, he rested his elbows on the rail.

Janey went to him and put her hand on his
back. "I'm sorry. I never meant to upset you." His shoulders were
tight with tension she had caused.

"Janey," he sighed, dropping his
head to his hands.

She didn't know what to say or do. Keeping
her hand on his back, she gave him a minute. "Joe—"

He stood up straight, framed her face with
his hands and captured her mouth in a deep, searing kiss. "I love you. I
love you so much, and I have for as long as I can remember." Before she
could say anything, he kissed her again. "I hated watching you care for a
guy who didn't deserve you. I hated how he went weeks and sometimes
months
without visiting you. I hated watching you waste your time with him,
knowing
he would never love you like I do."

She'd suspected there was something… But
never had she imagined that he'd spent
years
silently in love with her.
Flabbergasted, she stared up at him. "I, um… I…"

"I shouldn't be saying these things
to you, especially right now. But I couldn't have you thinking I'm out whoring
around or that I give a shit about any other woman. I date, I even have fun
with some of them and I've probably had more one-night stands than any guy
alive. I'm not proud of that. Believe me. But not one of them has ever
mattered."

Janey struggled free of him. "I
shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have called you yesterday." Her hands began
to shake as images from their erotic night together ran through her mind like a
movie. "Oh, God, Joe. I didn't know. I didn't know it was like
that
."
Sure, she'd figured out he had a little thing for her, but madly in love? For
years
?
No, she hadn't known that. She hadn't had the first inkling.

"There's no way you could've known. I
worked very, very hard to keep it hidden. Only one person has ever figured it
out."

"Who?"

He smiled and tilted his head.

"Mac."

Nodding, Joe drew her back in close to
him. "I don't want you to go."

"What happened between us…"

"Was the best thing to ever happen to
me. Someday, when you're ready, maybe you'll see it was the best thing to ever
happen to you, too."

Janey lay in Joe's big bed that night, staring out at
the harbor, trying not to think about all that had happened in the last two
days and failing miserably. Since his profession of love earlier, they had
bumbled awkwardly through dinner, unable to get back the easy groove they'd
always shared. If she lost Joe's friendship on top of David's betrayal…

The thought of losing Joe made her ache
with despair. Maybe she hadn't suspected the full depth of his feelings for
her, but she'd always known he loved her. She couldn't lose that. She just
couldn't.

Janey got up and padded into the living
room, where he slept on the sofa. Squatting next to him, she reached out to toy
with his hair.

He startled awake and stared at her for a
long breathless moment.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I
didn't mean to wake you."

He extended his arms, and as Janey sank
into his embrace, the relief overwhelmed her. She stretched out next to him on
the sofa, the heat of his body warming the chill that had descended upon them
earlier.

"Janey," he whispered, smoothing
a hand over her hair and down her back.

He trembled when she pressed her lips
against his neck. His clean fresh scent invaded her senses, sending a surge of
desire rippling through her. That she could feel so many conflicting emotions
for this man she'd known for so long as a friend still took her by surprise.

His erection pressed against her belly,
and his heart beat fast under her ear, reminding her they'd gone far beyond the
simple bonds of friendship in the last few days.

Empowered by the effect she had on him,
she raised her head and found his eyes in the darkness.

Earlier, he'd confessed to being wildly in
love with her. Now, in his eyes, she saw the hunger and the need and the
desire. She wondered how she'd missed it all these years—or rather, she
conceded she hadn't allowed herself to look too closely for fear of finding
exactly what she now saw in those hazel eyes.

Still holding his gaze, she lowered her
head and kissed him, a sweet meeting of lips. A hum of awareness zipped between
them. In all her time with David, Janey had never experienced anything quite
like the raging desire Joe inspired in her. Over the years, her relationship
with David had become comfortable, predictable, sturdy—or so she'd thought.
Now, as she lay in Joe's arms wanting him so fiercely, she wondered if that
easy comfort had led David to seek out another woman.

"What?" Joe asked.

Startled, Janey looked down at him. His
nimble fingers massaged her shoulders. God, he was good at that!

"You just got all tense."

Since she couldn't tell Joe she'd been
thinking of David and what might've driven him into the arms of another woman,
Janey made an effort to relax under Joe's tender ministrations.

"What's going on in that pretty head
of yours?" he asked.

Janey resisted the urge to purr as he
worked his magic on her neck. "I just…"

He kissed her softly. "What? Tell
me."

"This," she said. "Whatever
this is… It's surprising."

His handsome face lifted into a rakish
grin. "Not to me. I've waited years for you to catch up."

Janey propped her chin on her fist and
studied him. "It pains me to think I might've said or done something to
hurt you when I didn't know how you felt."

"You didn't."

"I talked about him with you. I waved
my ring around under your nose."

"You were happy, Janey. I never
begrudged you that."

"But my happiness made you unhappy. I
hate that."

"I'm happy right now. Holding you,
kissing you…" He kissed her lips and chin before returning his attention
to her neck. "It's everything I've ever wanted."

"I'm not ready for this to be
anything more, Joe."

"I know." His tongue traced the
line of her collarbone, setting off new shock waves of desire.

"I have things I need to resolve. I'm
not sure how long it'll take…"

"I've already waited a long
time." His hands coasted over her ribs and found her breasts through her
thin tank top. "Whenever you're ready to find out what we might be
together, you know where to find me."

"What if I'm never ready? After what
happened with…" She stopped herself from saying David's name.

Joe ran his thumbs over her sensitive
nipples.

Janey gasped.

"You'd never have to worry about me
wanting someone else," he said, his tone fierce and heated. "If I had
you, I'd have everything."