Fool Me Once (10 page)

“Josh, seriously, don’t hold the fact that I was hurt against him, it really wasn’t his fault, well maybe a bit, but then it was my fault too.” Her brother seemed to relax a lot at her words, as if a heavy weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Somehow, she also felt lighter, despite all the grease she had consumed. She saw things a lot clearer today, and was finally ready to let go of the past, a thing she had never truly done, even though she had fooled herself into thinking she had.

After breakfast, they left the diner and walked back to her place. Before leaving to pick up his daughters, he promised he would call her soon.

Eva threw her purse on the nearby couch and dropped right beside it. The week had been exhausting; preparing for the ball while handling all the other functions in between was a little much for their current staff. If they kept getting more contracts, they would have to consider hiring more people. She didn’t complain about the extra work though, the fourteen, fifteen-hour days prevented her from thinking too much about things she shouldn’t think about. Now, she sat still, not quite ready to face her afternoon off. She thought about calling James but he would coerce her into telling all about Jake and she wasn’t ready for that. Of course she could go and visit her mother, but then again, her mother would quickly sense that something was on her mind. Maybe, she should call Alex. They hadn’t seen each other in a little while. Yeah, that was a good idea. Alex could tell her about her honeymoon and how married life was treating her, and she could tell her all about her business and how empty her life was lately…who there... wait a minute, where had that come from? Her life wasn’t empty, far from it. She had her work, her friends, her family, so what if she didn’t have Jake err she meant a man in her life, so what if she didn’t yet have children, she was still young. Her life was definitely not empty. Determined, she dialed Alex’s number and they made plans to meet at “A la Carte”, a new French restaurant.

“So how is Alan”?

“He is great, he is just so sweet, and I still have no regrets marrying him.” She said with a wink.

“I’m so happy for you Alex, and a little jealous too I must say. You look amazing and so happy.” And she did. Alex had always been the flamboyant one, and she hadn’t changed. Her unruly red hair should have clashed, yet strangely didn’t, with the bright red sweater she was wearing. Her slim hips were encased in a very short, very tight black skirt, and she had tights as red as her sweater. She wore knee high black boots that easily gave her an extra 3 to 4 inches. Eva had always been envious of Alex’s boldness. She herself was wearing a knee length black skirt and black top. Never anything too fancy or colorful. She wished she had the guts to dress provocatively; she had tried it once with less then stellar results, so she never kept it up. She wanted to change, be more out there, make herself be noticed, but she was always quite sedate in her dress, and usually the same personality wise; never loud, never rash, well except when Jake was around.

“Eva, is something bothering you? You have those dark circles in your eyes, and you would never have admitted you were envious of me before. What happened with the whole, I’m free speech you gave me before my wedding?”

“No I’m alright.” Eva was a bit surprised that Alex had noticed something was different. Her friend was wonderful but she never had been one to read person very well.

.“Oh come on! No need to bullshit me, excuse my French. Something is wrong and even I can see it… Now the only question that remains is whether you want to talk about it. You know me, I’m not the type to badger, but I’d like to be there for you if you need me.”

Eva picked at her food for a moment, suddenly, the salmon didn’t look as good as she had first thought. Did she want to talk to Alex about Jake? Alex knew the history, knew about the pain; maybe it would be a good thing to talk to someone about it.

“Alex, do you remember Jake?”

“The no good son of a …yeah of course I remember him.”

Eva smiled at her friend’s support.

“Well he moved here, in town I mean. I keep running into him and he makes me so angry. He still despises me and doesn’t hide the fact. I think I still resent him. Yet, I can’t keep him out of my mind.”

“Still as handsome as ever, is he?”

“More, if you can believe it.”

Alex laughed.

“Well, well, well. Our little Eva’s senses are awakening.” She ignored her friend’s scold as she continued.”

“You said you guys fought all the time? As in there isn’t anything going on beside fighting?” She smiled knowingly as Eva blushed.

“I thought so. Tell me does his touch make you feel the same way as when you were eighteen?”

“Alex! This isn’t funny. We can’t stand each other, but we also seem to have troubles keeping our hands off each other. The other day, I almost, we almost…well you know.”

“Well, its about friggin’ time Eva. I don’t know how you made it to twenty-six still a virgin. It’s almost inhuman and a waste of good years. You guys having sex maybe wouldn’t be such a bad thing you know.”

“Alex! Didn’t you listen to anything I have just said? We can’t get along. He still believes I played him to get Ben back. For God’s sake, how could I have sex with someone who has such low opinion of me?”

“Why not? You are both consenting adults.”

“Because! I know he wants me, but he is fighting his desire because he can’t stand the sight of me as a person. To do this could only cause more problems and hurt down the road. Plus it would be done for all the wrong reasons”

“The wrong reasons; the scratching of an eight-year old itch? Well maybe. But don’t you want him? Aren’t you just a little curious, a little anxious for the touch of a man?”

“Of course I am! Who wouldn’t be? But I never felt a need so strong with anyone else, nor can I see myself making love to someone who despises me.”

“Hmmm, I see how that could be a problem. I wish I had a solution for you, or that I could help you out with that. But I’m not a man.” She laughed.” Are you positive he doesn’t like you?”

“Oh yes, he couldn’t have made it any clearer.”

“I know” Alex said excitedly.” I will introduce you to one of Alan’s friends. He is cute, he is funny, and he has a great job. You could have fun. Try and take your mind off Jake, and hopefully have you thinking about someone else.

“Do you really think that’s the solution; a blind date? Eva asked skeptical.

“Well, maybe not the solution, but it can’t hurt. Plus the date isn’t really blind, I know the guy, and he is great! How bad can it be? Can it be worse then now? At best you could fall for him and forget all about Mr. Wrong. At worse, you could just have a great evening with a nice man, then go back to your present frustrated state.”

Eva smiled against her will, and reluctantly agreed to have the date set up.

“But let’s plan it for after the charity ball, I will be very busy until then.

“Sure, consider it done.” Alex smiled brightly and winked.” You will see, we will bring some sparkle back in your eyes, and a blush you never had on your cheeks.”

Eva’s laughter echoed through the busy kitchen. James’ antics could have made a dead man wake up and chuckle. His clowning around was a welcome respite from the stress they were all under. The ball was tonight, and after a full week of hard work, she could finally see the end results and it made all worth it. After many arguments with James, they had finally agreed that the guests would have a choice of two entrées. There was the simple, yet loved grapefruit risotto with roasted chicken breast, and for those who didn’t eat meat or preferred fish there was the grilled trout with lemon caper cream sauce, served with the delightful mini potatoes with herb butter stuffing. James was a master at making these potatoes; he made them so they melted in a burst of flavor. The guests would also have the option to substitute the potatoes with sautéed asparagus if they found the potatoes to be too heavy for them. The desert trays were filled with mini cheesecake, crème brulées, as well as a sinful collection of all that is chocolate. The aromas filled the kitchen and created a heady atmosphere sure to make you hungry. Although the heat was almost unbearable, none of them complained. Eva, although laughing and smiling with the others, was anxious for the evening to get started; yet she was also scared that something would go wrong. Tonight was the night that would determine whether she would remain the co-owner of a struggling business or of a successful one. She was scared to fail.” A Bite of Paradise” was the one thing she had done that made her proud. She had opened her business and kept it going with hard work and perseverance and no one could ever take that away from her, but they could take away her business. She was good at what she did, and she wasn’t afraid to admit it, yet so many things could happen, could go wrong. She hated that she couldn’t control it all, felt that her future and happiness were completely out of her hand. Frustrated, she blew on a strand of hair that had come out of her French braid. She couldn’t think of failure now, she had cooking to see to.

Eva looked happily around; everything seemed to go well. The fears from the morning had mostly dissipated. The evening was a success. The hours of work, the stress and the sweat, all of it had paid of. Quite a few people had come around earlier to ask her for her business card, she smiled. For the first time in the evening, she was able to take a few seconds to appreciate it all. She took in the glittering gowns, the man in their tuxedos. She always liked to see men dressed up. She listened to peals of laughter erupting here and there in the ballroom, and gently swayed to the waltz being played by the live band. She almost wished she was here as a guest, so she could properly enjoy what was offered; the food, although she did sneak some of that, the music, the décor of blues and gold, the large velvet drapes, the candlelit lighting, the crystal, everything was so beautiful. She imagined herself being led on the dance floor by a tall dark, handsome man and smiled. Her eyes kept wandering the room until they rested on the dark handsome man of her thoughts, the same hair, the same height, and the same posture. She stopped puzzled. She knew that man. She almost laughed; of course Jake would be here, he was everywhere, or so it seemed. She wondered whether she should go and say hi to him later on, whether she could ask him for a dance to fulfill part of her fantasy. She could almost feel his strong arms around her waist, his chin resting on her head, her face hidden against his chest…She had to stop. Frowning slightly, she tried shaking the images out of her mind, until finally she had to admit defeat. Her longing for him was too strong. She had never really gotten over him she realized, she still wanted him, all of him; his mind, his soul, his love, and oh yes, his body.

The realization had the effect of a cold shower, wakes you up but keeps you shivering. She was in for a broken heart, again. He didn’t care for her any more, if he ever really did, and he made it clear he really didn’t want to want her either. She blocked the depressing thoughts from her mind; nothing was going to ruin her night. Nothing was…Oh no! Please not her. Standing beautiful in a black fitted gown, Shelley Harrison was being led to the dance floor by Jake. His hand was at the small of her back and he was smiling down at her. She knew that they had been seeing each other; the gossip mill in the town was large and busy. She just hadn’t known he was still seeing her, or that they would be here together tonight. Dejectedly she looked down at herself and sighed. She was wearing a dressier outfit then her usual catering attire, but it still was nothing compared to the second skin Shelley was wearing. Suddenly she hated her new slim black skirt, and wished she had word something sexier then the conservative silk white top she had on. She looked with envy as Shelley, in her high heels, glided across the floor gracefully, the long slit from the floor-length dress showing glimpse of a perfectly tan leg…and a large expense of thigh as well. Her long blonde hair was swept up and fell over her neck in loose curls…Eva grinded her teeth and forced herself to look away. She didn’t want to see them anymore, already the thought of them together was painful, to actually see them, to see him holding her close, to see him dancing with Shelley the way she wanted him to dance with her, she couldn’t handle it. But it was stronger then her, she had to look; like the people staring at the scene of an accident couldn’t help but stare, neither could she. She had no trouble locating the tallest man on the dance floor, his hair was shining and his broad shoulders were well straining against the well-cut tuxedo. She looked at his strong hands and pictured them on her, pictured them sliding down her waist and up to cup her breasts…she blinked and blushed. When she looked up again she saw him looking at her as if he knew exactly what she had been thinking. She closed her eyes quickly and re-opened them slowly to find him still staring at her. His eyes held hers; she was unable to look away. The intensity in his eyes made her wish they were alone, and not looking at each other from across a crowded room.

“Eva?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m sorry.” She looked at James questioningly, why was he sorry.” You fell for him didn’t you?” He added sadly

“Oh? Fallen?” She wasn’t truly paying attention to what he was saying.

“Yes, fallen. For God’s sake Eva, stop looking at him as if you next breathe depended on him.”