Fools Rush In (27 page)
Authors: Ginna Gray
Time heals all wounds. Erin gave a bitter little laugh and leaned back in her chair, swiveling it to stare out the window beside her desk. How many times had she heard that particular homily? She had always believed it, had drawn a certain amount of comfort from it in the past, but now she was beginning to have her doubts.
How much time did it take, for heaven's sake? It had been two months since she had seen Max, and the pain and longing were just as sharp. Erin gave another snort of laughter and raked a hand through her hair. Who was she kidding? If anything, they were worse.
She thought about him constantly. She couldn't eat. She couldn't sleep. She couldn't work.
Grimacing, Erin glanced at the computer monitor. Except for three lines of amber letters, it was blank. They were the same three lines she'd been staring at for the past hour. She had been working on the novel since the beginning of summer, and the French translation was due at the publisher's in three weeks, but she was not much further along than she had been before Elise's fateful phone call. She just couldn't seem to concentrate.
Not that she hadn't tried. In the past two months she had driven herself, spending longer hours at her desk than she ever had, and getting less done.
With a sigh, Erin abandoned the computer, pushing her chair back to stand and walk to the window. Below, several of the tenants were lounging around the apartment pool, and a few others were swimming, despite the slight nip in the October air. She gazed at the supine bodies and envied them their carefree existence, without having the slightest urge to join them. She had tried that diversion a few times, but it had been an exercise in futility.
How was she ever going to forget Max, she wondered dismally, when Elise wrote of little else? Evidently, he was doing nothing to discourage her sister. If anything, from the tone of Elise's letters, they seemed to be drawing closer. Every line of the last one was etched in Erin's brain.
Max took me to dinner last night at Tomascito's, Oh, Erin, it was so wonderful. We talked for hours.
And on the next page there was:
Max dropped by my apartment the other night, even though we didn't have anything planned. Not that he takes me for granted, mind you, but the relationship is progressing nicely, becoming more comfortable.
Then there was:
Guess what Max brought me from his latest trip to Paris? A bottle of Joy perfume! Can you believe it? It costs the earth.
As she'd read the letter Erin had wanted to curl into a little ball and die. Every word had brought pain, as though her heart were being ripped from her body by a sharp-clawed animal. Which, in a way, was true; the animal was the green-eyed monster.
For the first time in her twenty-seven years, she was jealous of her twin. Erin hated the feeling. She almost hated Max for causing it. Almost.
She closed her eyes and caught her lower lip between her teeth to stop its trembling. Dear Lord, she wished she could hate him. Or at least stop caring. But she couldn't. She loved him so, and it hurt unbearably to lose him.
Except you're not losing him to Elise, she reminded herself. You gave him up two months ago, remember? she mused with brutal honesty, striving to subdue the fresh surge of jealous despair. You turned your back and walked away. You can't blame Max for seeking solace with someone else. If they find happiness with each other, you should be glad.
High overhead, a jet was drawing a white line against the vivid blue sky. Erin's gaze absently tracked the tiny silver speck as it inched westward. But, dear Lord, how will I bear it if Max and Elise marry?
The gnawing ache in her heart grew steadily worse over the next two weeks. Erin fought it and the constant urge to weep in the only way she knew how—by driving herself even harder.
She worked at the computer from dawn until late into the night, many times not even stopping to eat. Only when she was so exhausted that she could not focus her eyes would she quit. Then she showered and fell into bed, to toss and turn, tormented by dreams of Max and Elise, their bodies entwined, kissing, loving.
Erin lost weight she could ill afford to lose, and there were dark circles under her eyes, but she finished the novel translation by the deadline. As soon as she shipped it off, she signed a contract to act as an interpreter at an international beauty pageant to be held in Brazil the first week of November. She was desperately hoping that distance would accomplish what time had not.
It was not until the respite between assignments that Erin realized she had not heard from her sister in almost three weeks. Had it been anyone else, she would not have thought anything of it, but Elise, through good times and bad, had written faithfully once a week since they'd left college.
Though Erin did not crave listening to her sister rhapsodize over Max, she was too concerned to simply dismiss the sudden change in habit.
The telephone call, however, did not ease her mind. Elise laughed and said she'd been too busy to write, but there was a sort of frantic gaiety in her voice that disturbed Erin. Worse, when Elise ended the conversation after only a few minutes, Erin was left with the distinct impression that her sister had not wanted to talk to her at all.
Erin was hurt and worried. Something was wrong. She could feel it. Had Max confessed their brief love affair? The thought gave Erin a moment of panic, but it faded quickly. No, it wasn't anger or hurt she sensed from Elise. It was... agitation.
Erin was tempted to fly to Santa Fe and find out what was going on. Only a heartsick dread of facing Max again, of having him confirm that he was, indeed in love with her sister, stopped her. She was not emotionally strong enough to face that just yet.
Preparations for her trip to Brazil kept Erin busy, but still she fretted over her twin. She sensed a certain... uneasiness of mind... so strongly that she was not even surprised when Elise arrived on her doorstep.
An instant before the doorbell rang Erin knew she was there, and she jerked open the door without even checking through the peephole.
"Elise!" she cried, snatching her close for an exuberant hug. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you let me know you were coming?"
Laughing, Elise returned the embrace, but before she could answer, Erin bundled her inside. The minute the door closed she grasped her twin's hands and looked at her anxiously. "Now, tell me, what's wrong?"
"Does something have to be wrong? Can't I just visit my sister if I want?" Elise pulled free of Erin's grasp, strolled into the living room and tossed her light cape over the back of a chair. She seemed at ease, her smile serene, yet, watching her, Erin detected a finely drawn tension beneath the calm.
"No, of course not. You know you're always welcome," she said when they were seated on the sofa.
"Thanks, Sis. Actually though, I have to confess, I did come for a reason. I'm hoping I can talk you into going back to Santa Fe with me."
To Erin, Santa Fe meant seeing Max, and her heart gave a little skip at the mere thought. The yearning ache that had been with her for months became a sharp, stabbing pain, and she clenched her teeth to keep from crying out. "I, uh, no. I'm sorry, darling, but I couldn't possibly. I'm very busy right now. I'm leaving on a South American job in ten days, so you see—"
"Erin, you've got to come," Elise said with quiet urgency, laying her hand on Erin's. "If you don't, I'll never forgive myself."
"Wh—what?"
"For coming between you and Max," she added softly.
Erin could not have been more shocked if Elise had tossed a bucket of cold water in her face. She stared. "You... you know?" At Elise's nod, she closed her eyes, feeling sick. "Max told you, didn't he?"
"No. He didn't have to." She cocked her brows reprovingly at Erin's puzzled look. "The mental link works both ways, remember? But even without it I would have figured it out. In your letters, whenever we talk on the phone, you avoid even mentioning Max. And he, poor man, can't stop himself from asking about you constantly."
"Oh, Elise, I'm so sorry. I—"
"Don't be. Actually, I'm the one who should be sorry. You see, I've known how things were between you since that day at the cabin. I just didn't want to admit it. I guess I thought that once you left, Max would turn to me. I should have known better. You and I may look alike, but we're very different people."
"But he has, hasn't he? What about the dinner date, and the perfume from Paris?"
"The dinner was business. I neglected to tell you that his attorney and an Australian supplier were there, too. As for the perfume... well... I gave him the money to buy it for me."
"And the night he dropped by your apartment?"
She grimaced sheepishly. "He came to pick up a file I had taken home. He was there all of five minutes."
Elise's soft gaze held remorse and abject apology. "I can't tell you how guilty I've been feeling over this. I knew before you ever came to Santa Fe that Max wasn't for me. But I'm ashamed to say, I was—" she stopped and bit her lower lip "—I was jealous because he fell for you so quickly. That's why I wrote those misleading letters. And I've been feeling absolutely wretched. Lord, Sis, jealousy is so awful. I hate it."
"I know," Erin said with an understanding smile.
"So you see, you have to come back. Max loves you, and you love him."
"But, darling, you love him, too."
"Actually.. .1 don't," she said, smiling wryly at Erin's skeptical look. "Oh, I thought I did. After Tommy died I was lonely. I missed him so much, I guess I was looking for someone to love. Under those conditions it's difficult to distinguish love from infatuation. Max happened to be the first really interesting man I met. Besides being attractive and sexy as all get out, he's a wonderful person, as I'm sure you know, and I suppose I was just sort of bowled over by that. But deep down I've always known that Max and I are not at all suited." Grinning, she reached over and tweaked one of Erin's curls. "You're much more his type."
Relief and joy poured through Erin. For an instant she could not control the glow of happiness that suffused her or the smile that bloomed on her lips. Catching her sister's wry smirk, she sobered instantly, guilt piercing her. "Oh, Elise, are you sure? I couldn't bear to hurt you."
"I'm sure, I'm sure. Now go pack a bag while I call and book us on a flight to Santa Fe."
"Tonight? But... but what if Max doesn't want me anymore? I really hurt him when I left. He might not be willing to forgive me."
Shaking her head, Elise looked at her pityingly, as though she were dealing with a not too bright child. When Erin didn't move, she pointed an imperious finger toward the bedroom. "Pack."
❧
Max scribbled furiously, filling the lined yellow pad with his bold scrawl. From outside came the faint sounds of voices and car doors slamming as people began arriving. He had been at his desk for an hour already. The only way to keep his mind occupied, he had discovered, was to immerse himself in work.
When he reached the end of the sheet, he paused. That was when he made the mistake of letting his gaze slide to the desk calendar. Max reached over and flipped the page to the current date, then stared at it as though mesmerized.
Two months, two weeks, and three days since she'd gone. Hell, it seemed like forever.
Making a disgusted sound, he tossed his pencil aside and shot out of his chair. He walked to the window and looked out, rubbing the stiff muscles in his neck. Would it ever stop hurting? Would he ever stop wanting Erin?
It didn't help matters, of course, he admitted wryly, that her mirror image occupied the front office. The sight of that wonderfully familiar face brought such pain that he avoided looking directly at Elise. Having her around was like wearing a hair shirt, but he couldn't get rid of her. She was an excellent secretary. Besides, he couldn't bring himself to sever that last link with Erin.
Hell, Delany, you must be a masochist
.
Behind him the door opened, and he looked over his shoulder as Sam entered the office.
"You said you wanted to go over the transport bids first thing," his partner said without preamble.
As Sam strolled in and sat down they heard Elise entering her office. Max returned to his desk and pushed the intercom button. "Good morning, Elise. Would you bring in the file on Robison Trucking, please?"
"Yes, sir. I'll be right in."
With an encouraging smile, Elise handed Erin the file. "Here. You take it in."
"Me? Now?" Erin swallowed hard. Clutching the folder to her, she cast a nervous glance at the door to Max's office, then looked at her twin. "Elise, are you sure about your feelings? I could—"
"I'm sure. Look, don't worry about me. Somewhere out there there's a man for me. I'll find him eventually."
He'll find you, if you'll just let him,
Erin thought, remembering the way Sam had looked at her.
"Okay. Here goes." She squared her shoulders, took a deep breath and headed for the door.
When Erin entered the room and saw Sam she was disappointed, but the instant her gaze fastened on Max, the other man was forgotten. As she walked toward him her eyes ran avidly over his beloved face, greedily soaking up every detail. He was thinner, and there were lines around his eyes and mouth that had not been there before, but to Erin he looked wonderful. She wanted to toss the file into the air and fling herself into his arm.
The two men were talking, but as she stopped beside the desk Sam glanced up at her, did a double take and grew utterly still, his silvery eyes widening infinitesimally. Erin knew he had recognized her when his gaze sharpened and flicked to Max, then back to her. She even thought she saw one corner of that hard mouth twitch.
"Just put the file on the desk, Elise," Max said without looking up.
Growing desperate, Erin edged closer. With a hand on the back of his chair, she leaned and placed the folder in front of him, her senses swimming giddily as she breathed in his clean masculine scent and a hint of citrus cologne. She straightened and gazed down at his bent head, itching to run her fingers through his hair, to kiss the little strip of flesh above his collar.
Max shifted in his chair. "That's all, Elise. Thanks."
"Very well. If you're sure there's nothing else I can do for you."
Max's head snapped up before she could get all the words out, his expression thunderstruck. In the next instant it changed to furious.
Erin's smile faltered. She backed up a step, but in a blur of motion he lunged out of the chair, grasped her arm and headed for the door with long, ground-eating strides.
She was aghast. It was not at all the reaction she had expected. "Max, will you stop!" she cried, stumbling along behind him, trying to pry his fingers from around her forearm. "Look, all you had to do was ask me to leave. You don't have to throw me out!"
"Throw you out? Ha! I'm going to throw you on your back. Just as soon as I get you alone."
"Oh!" Her eyes widened in delighted amazement, all the fight going out of her with that one breathy exclamation. As docile as a lamb, she trotted along behind Max, wearing a complacent smile.
Elise gaped, then smothered a giggle as he hauled her through the outer office. Just before he pulled her into the hall Erin glanced back over her shoulder. Sam was watching the spectacle along with Elise, standing in the inner doorway, a shoulder propped against the frame, his arms crossed over his chest. Erin winked and wiggled her fingers at them both.
Oblivious to the attention they were attracting, Max towed her down the hall, through the reception area and out the door. He stuffed her into his car and peeled out of the parking lot as though the place were on fire, sending gravel flying.
In five minutes flat they screeched to a stop before Max's front door. During the short ride not a word passed between them, but the second they stepped into the house he let fly.
He whipped her around and grasped her shoulders. "Now you listen to me. I let you walk away once. I listened to all your arguments and let you have things your way, though it tore my guts out to do it. But you came back of your own free will, and now all bets are off. So if you think you're going to torment me by waltzing in and out of my life when the notion strikes you, you can forget it. This time you're staying."
So that was why he was so furious.
Tenderness flooded Erin as she recognized the fear and vulnerability behind his anger. Making no effort to hide the love shining in her eyes, she met his glare with a smile and said softly, "I know."
"You're mine now, and I'm not—" His head jerked back. "What did you say?"
"I said I know."
"You're here to stay?" he asked cautiously, as though he couldn't quite believe he'd heard her right.
"Well...not literally." His frown returned, and Erin stepped closer and placed her hands on his chest. She slid them up over his shoulders and stroked the hair at his nape. "I'll probably always be a vagabond, so I can't promise to stay in one spot forever." Her fingertips fondled his ears and feathered over the sensitive skin behind them as she gazed at him lovingly. "But my heart will belong to you for as long as you want it."
Joy flared in Max's eyes. "Oh, God, sweetheart, that will be forever," he said with heartfelt relief as he wrapped his arms around her. He looked at her in stunned amazement, like a man who had suddenly been given all he'd ever wanted, his gaze caressing her as it roamed over her radiant face.
Then he focused on her mouth. His eyes became slumberous and heavy-lidded, his lips parted, and as his head began its inexorable descent Erin trembled. His breath was a warm, moist zephyr against her skin as he whispered, "Forever."
Then his mouth took hers in a kiss that was so hotly sweet, so long and loving, that Erin was sure she would shatter with delight. Their lips clung and rocked, hungrily striving to make up for the long, lonely months apart. Love and desire, want and need, all melded together, heating their blood until it rushed through their veins like molten fire.
Max broke off the kiss and lifted her in his arms, his gaze locking with hers. "God, I love you."
Erin cupped her hand around his lean cheek. "I love you, too," she whispered.
Still holding her eyes, he took the stairs to the landing two at a time, then climbed the short flight that led to the private master bedroom wing. He set Erin on her feet beside the bed and kissed her again. When he raised his head his eyes were glittering hotly. "I need you," he said in*a raspy voice as his hands went to the buttons of her blouse.
Erin felt weak and trembly, as though her bones were melting. "I know, my darling," she whispered, reaching for his belt buckle. "I know."
They worked feverishly to divest each other of their clothes, but progress was hindered by shaking hands and the need to touch and caress. Finally, between lingering kisses and whispered words of love, buttons, hooks and zippers were dealt with and they were tumbling together onto the wide bed, lips fused, eager hands touching, stroking, learning anew lovers' secrets.
Neither could wait. The long, lonely time apart had built their desire for each other to a fever pitch. Wrapped in each other's arms, they kissed with all the pent-up yearning that had bedeviled them for so long, and as Max rolled her to her back Erin's legs curved about his hips in a movement as natural and as instinctive as breathing.
Their joining was swift and smooth and deeply satisfying, a joyous homecoming. Max thrust deep, then grew still, and for a moment they clung to each other, their bodies taut and quivering as they savored the almost unbearable pleasure.
But soon it was not enough. Needs too long denied clamored for fulfillment, and with a groan, Max began the age-old movements of love.
It was a fierce loving, fueled by hunger and the heartache they had both endured. The driving urgency carried them higher and higher, like a white-hot star shooting across the firmament. And when the end came it was breathtaking.
They tumbled to earth in a cloud of languor, clinging to each other, their bodies slick with perspiration, their breathing labored. A soft smile curved Erin's mouth as she stroked Max's damp back.
"Mmm, I like that," he mumbled drowsily.
Rousing himself, he braced up on his forearms and smiled down at her, his eyes filled with satisfaction. He stroked her temple and caught a darkened curl, watching, fascinated, as it wrapped around his forefinger and clung. His eyes met hers, his look questioning and confused. "No more doubts?"
She shook her head. "No. None."
"I'm almost afraid to ask, but...you're not worried about Elise anymore?"
"My sister, it seems, has decided that you are not the love of her life, after all." Erin slid her hands up his arms and over his shoulders, clasping her fingers behind his neck.
"Actually, you have her to thank for my being here. She came to Houston and practically dragged me back to you."
Max grinned and rolled to his back, bringing her with him, tucking her close against his side and cradling her head on his shoulder. "You know, Elise has been a wonderful secretary, but something tells me I'm really going to like having her for a sister-in-law."
Erin jerked up onto her elbow and stared down at him, shocked. "Sister-in-law? You mean...you want to get married?"
"Of course I want to get married. What did you think?"
"B-but, Max," she exclaimed worriedly. "I'm no good at marriage. I-I'm too much of a gypsy at heart, I guess. Settling down in one spot is just not for me. At least, not yet it isn't. And after a while my flitting from place to place would start to irritate you."
Anger flared in Max's eyes. He hooked a hand around the back of her neck and pulled her down for a swift, hard kiss. When it ended his handsome face was set and determined. "You're forgetting a few things," he said gruffly. "Number one, I'm not that stupid ass, Andre. I happen to love you just the way you are, and I have no intentions of trying to change you. Number two, I'm not exactly a homebody myself." He tugged her earlobe and grinned. "I own an import company, remember? We can travel the world together."
"Really?"
"Sure. The arrangement that Sam and I have works out great for both of us. I enjoy going to new places, meeting new people; he doesn't. After his experience, he's happy to stay at home. So you see, my love, there's nothing to worry about; we're ideally suited."
Dawning delight widened Erin's eyes. "Why... we are, aren't we?" she said in amazement.
With a sigh, she laid her head on his chest and rubbed her cheek against the damp mat of hair like a contented cat, savoring the peace and happiness the discovery brought. She knew that from now on, no matter where in the world she roamed, Max's arms would always be home for her.
"So. Now that we have that settled," he said, lazily stroking her arm, "will you marry me?"
"Mmm. Whenever you say."
"Good. We'll plan it for next week."
"Next week!" Erin raised her head and gave him a sultry look. "What's wrong with tomorrow?"
"Nothing, except I don't think we could get a minister to perform the ceremony here," he drawled wickedly as he rolled her onto her back. "And I don't plan on letting you out of this bed for at least a week."