For Love And Honor (34 page)

*
* * * *

Radulf returned just after nightfall. With
Baird, who had been at his side since the moment he entered the
castle gate, Radulf strode into the great hall and right up to the
high table, where Will sat talking with Piers and Rohaise.

“What’s this I hear of you, young man?” he
shouted at Will. “In these dangerous times you welcome unknown
guests in my absence?”

“Grandfather, it’s only a lady on a
pilgrimage and her two guards,” Will replied, sounding calm and
reasonable in comparison with Radulf s ire. “How can there be any
danger in so few guests?”

“Where is this lady?” Radulf stared at Piers,
who looked calmly back at the tall, heavyset man with the florid
face and cold blue eyes. “Answer me, fellow!”

“Lady Samira is ill.” Piers spoke in his
heaviest Greek accent. “That is why we are remaining for a second
night of your hospitality, sir. We hope that by resting all day,
our lady will be able to travel in the morning. I do thank you for
your excellent wine, sir.” With those words, Piers lifted his cup
in a graceful, slightly effeminate gesture, smiling and toasting
Radulf, whose expression promptly changed to one of disgust.

“Hummph, it’s not even a man.” Radulf turned
to Baird. “Was it for this you called me home before my business
was concluded? Where are their squires?”

“In the stables,” Baird said.

“Set a watch on them. See that they remain in
the stables all night. And put your best man on guard on the tower
steps. Those precautions ought to prevent any trouble from our
guests,” Radulf ended on a sneer of contempt for the creature who
sat drinking wine with a most unmanly flare.

“Aye, my lord.” Baird went to give the
orders.

“
Rohaise,
I want food and drink,” Radulf said. “N
ot here. In my own
room. I’ve ridden hard all
day
and I’m too tired to deal with the likes of him tonight.” He jerked
his head toward Piers, who again saluted him with the wine
cup.

“I’ll see to it at once.” Rohaise left the
high table.

“And I, good sir, shall inquire of my lady,”
Piers said to Radulf, “whether she will be able to travel on the
morrow. So terribly tiresome, this business of ladies falling ill.
Shall I go to your chamber, dear sir, and inform you there what she
says?”

“You stay out of my chamber,” Radulf ordered.
“Tell Rohaise what your mistress says. She can report to me. And
you see that you remain where you are supposed to be this night. My
men will be watching all of your company.”

“Dear sir, I do assure you we have nothing to
hide.” Piers gave Radulf a fetching smile, which Radulf chose not
to return.

“If you are telling the truth, then we’ll all
sleep well, and I’ll punish Baird tomorrow for taking me away from
important negotiations,” Radulf said. Dismissing Piers from further
notice, he turned his attention to his grandson. “Will, get to your
bed. I’ll talk to you on the morrow, too. A few lashes with a birch
rod ought to impress some sense into you. When I say no one is to
be admitted to Banningford without my permission I mean it.”

“Yes, Grandfather.” The flush staining Will’s
face showed how humiliated he was by Radulf s treatment of him, but
he was too well-mannered to argue with his grandfather while Piers
was present.

“This civil war isn’t over yet, you know,”
Radulf went on. “There’s plenty of trickery on both sides. It has
taken all my wit and cunning to keep my lands through these past
years, and I’ll not chance having them lost to me because you can’t
resist some girl’s smile.”

“It was only common courtesy, Grandfather, to
invite chilled and weary travelers to rest in our great hall,” Will
said.

“Oh, get to bed,” Radulf ordered curtly.
“Courtesy be damned. You’re too soft, boy. I’ll start tomorrow,
teaching you to be a real man. I should have done it years
ago.”

By that time Piers was too far up the tower
stairs to overhear anymore. He found Alain standing guard outside
Samira’s door.

“What the devil’s going on?” Alain
demanded.

“Come in and I’ll tell you,” Piers said,
opening the door. “Alain, I think you ought to postpone your climb
to Joanna’s window.”

“If I don’t go to her tonight, she will
believe I have deserted her for a second time,” Alain objected.

“Nor can we stay here another day,” Piers
went on. “Not with Radulf at home. He could recognize us at any
time.”

“I could divert him so that he doesn’t notice
you,” Samira suggested. “I would like to do something more to help
you than just spend a boring day in this room pretending to be
sick.”

“Except to bid him farewell, you are to stay
out of Radulf’s sight,” Piers directed with all the force of a
deeply concerned father. “Alain, if you are determined to chance
that climb again, leave the tower at once before Baird posts more
guards, but beware the stables.”

A short time later Piers returned to the
great hall, looking for Rohaise.

“Take the hot water and the food up at once,”
Rohaise ordered two servants. “Tell Lord Radulf I will soon join
him. Yes, Sir Spiros; do you have a message for my lord from your
mistress?” She stepped closer, so Piers could lower his voice.

“Can you keep Radulf so well occupied that he
won’t hear any unusual noises?” Piers asked, hating himself for the
use he was making of this good woman and sickened by the thought of
her in bed with Radulf.

“If you are asking what I think you are
asking,” Rohaise said, looking straight into his eyes, “I must tell
you it has been nearly fifteen years since Radulf has shown any
such interest in me. He drinks too much, and the drink makes him
incapable. Perhaps his disinterest is also the effect of the herbs
I frequently put into his wine. He likes the taste, you understand,
and the herbs help him to sleep. The wine I just sent to his room
is liberally laced with them. Radulf will sleep heavily tonight. I
will stay in the lord’s chamber with him, to be sure he does sleep,
and I will call out loudly to him if he leaves it, so you can hear
me and be warned.

“
Here
comes Baird,” Rohaise said under her breath. More loudly, she said,
“I will give Lord Radulf your mi
stress’s message, Sir
Spiros. We
will expect to bid
her farewell in the morning. Good night to you, sir. Good night,
Baird.”

“Lady Rohaise.” With a thoughtful expression,
Baird watched her until she disappeared up the tower steps. “Where
are you going now, Sir Spiros?”

“To sleep outside my mistress’s door, which
is my post for this night,” Piers replied.

“Where is your friend, Lucas?”

“I believe he was going to the bath house,
and then to the stables to check on the squires,” Piers said.

“See that you stay where you are supposed to
be,” Baird ordered. “That means all of you.”

*
* * * *

Joanna was waiting by the window when Alain
reached it. She caught at his arms to help him over the sill and
into the room.

“Whatever you are planning to do,” she said
before he could speak a word to her, “you must do it quickly. My
son intends to marry Samira.”

“Now, there’s an interesting idea.” Alain
brushed off his knees and tugged on his tunic, straightening it.
“By the by, your father returned this evening.”

“Then why did you come to me?” she cried,
terrified. “You must flee. All of you must go at once, before he
discovers who you are.”

“We can do nothing until the castle gate is
opened in the morning,” Alain pointed out. “As I understand the
situation, Rohaise has undertaken to keep Radulf well drugged with
wine until then. Which gives us time to spend together.”

“You have involved Rohaise, too? Heaven help
her.” Joanna swallowed hard, fighting back fear. “Ah, well, perhaps
it will be for the best, if only we can end these long years of
deception. About your plans, Alain; tell me what you are going to
do.”

“
When I
left you this morning, Joanna,
it was
with your promise of wine in a cup when I
returned.”

“I do remember.” She poured out the wine.
When she offered the cup to him he put his hand over hers and stood
looking deep into her sapphire eyes.

“Joanna, my love.”

“Drink your wine, my lord.”

“I was not sure what I would find here
tonight,” he murmured. “You were so cool the last time I visited
you.”

“I have had eighteen years to learn
self-control,” she said. “I have hidden my true feelings for every
day of that time. Even from Rohaise. Especially from Rohaise.”

“Does she know who killed Crispin?” he asked,
sipping at the wine while he watched her closely, trying to find
some chink in the emotional armor she wore so well that it seemed
to be part of her natural character.

“I would not put Rohaise into danger by
telling her,” Joanna answered. “If she knew, and inadvertently
revealed what she knew, she would be killed at once.”

“I told Piers and Samira,” he said, putting
down his wine cup. “In case something happens to me, I wanted
someone else to know the truth.”

“Very sensible of you.”

“I am done with being sensible,” he told her.
“Whatever may happen on the morrow, for these few hours at least,
we have each other.”

“Have we?” She edged away from him.

“I have wanted you since the first moment I
ever saw you,” he said, closing the distance she had put between
them. “There was a time when you wanted me, too.’’

“Perhaps that time is past.” She backed away
again.

“I don’t believe it,” he said, matching her
step for step.

“Before you go any further,” she was still
retreating and sounding ever more desperate as he followed her
across the room, “before you say anything you may regret, I am
obligated to tell you that I did not dislike what Crispin did to me
in our bed. In fact, on several occasions I enjoyed it very
much.”

“I’m glad to hear it. Crispin deserved the
best of women, which you were, and are. What was between you
happened long ago. It’s in the past and I have made my peace with
it. I cannot be jealous of a dead man; certainly not of one as dear
to me as Crispin was.

“Joanna, I also have a confession I feel
obligated to make. I hated your father, and hate him still, for
giving you to Crispin when I wanted you so badly I thought I would
go mad from my need of you. I could have killed Radulf for
arranging your marriage to Crispin. But never did I hate Crispin,
and never did I wish his death because of you.”

Alain’s next step brought him to Joanna’s
side. With her back against the stone chamber wall she could go no
farther. Alain moved so his body was pressed along hers. He put a
hand on the wall at each side of her head.

“No, don’t.” Her voice quavered. “Perhaps
another time, Alain.”

“The only time there is,” he said, “is
now.”

“I have withstood evil and cruelty,” she
whispered, closing her eyes against the sight of his face, so close
to her. “It’s only love that terrifies me. Love almost destroyed me
once. It may destroy me yet.”

“Do you think I’m not afraid?” he asked.
“After so many years of dreaming about you and wanting you, the
reality of you, so near to me, has all but undone me. The only
thing in this life I fear is that you will say you don’t love me
anymore, or that you don’t want me. That is why I am afraid.”

“
Alain…”

“Let me love you. If these next few hours are
all we are meant to have, then let us have this much at least. Let
me know, just once, how it feels to make you mine.”

She did not answer. He could feel her
trembling; he could hear her soft, sobbing breath and see the
quiver of her lower lip. He had spent that day in an agony of
expectation, remembering all too vividly the sensation of her soft
body against his. More than anything else it was his driving desire
for her that had propelled him up the tower wall a second time,
when common sense dictated that he should remain at Samira’s door
beside Piers.

“We should wait,” she pleaded. “This is
unsafe. Someone may come.”

“I cannot wait. Not any longer.” He began to
rub his hardness against her, gently but insistently. She
whimpered, stiffened, and tried to push him away. His lips touched
her throat, her ear, her cheek, moving ever closer to her
mouth.

“Please,” she begged. “Don’t. If Lys comes to
the door, or my father –“ He ignored her faltering whisper. When
her weak efforts to get away from him failed she stopped fighting
him. He kissed her eyelids, her cheek, the corner of her mouth.

“Alain.” Her arms moved around him, her lips
opened to his kiss. After a while she tore her mouth away to make
one more protest. “It has been too long, too many years. Too much
has happened.”

“I know, I know.” He caught at the skirt of
her dress, pulling it upward. “None of it matters. Only this
matters.”

She began to weep when his hand stroked along
her thigh and into warmth and dampness. He kept his hand were it
was, letting her grow used to his tender invasion, until her tears
stopped and she lifted heavy eyelids. Her eyes were a clear, pure
sapphire, and there was no more fear in them. Her face was so
radiant that his heart nearly stopped.

“Yes,” she said, very clearly.

So great was the rush of his desire that he
almost took her there, against the wall. With difficulty he
restrained himself. But his hands were shaking violently.

“Help me,” he whispered, laughing softly at
his own boyish weakness. After a moment’s hesitation she recovered
enough to help him get her dress over her head and then to assist
him in removing his own clothing. It was her turn to chuckle when
she discovered he was wearing two tunics.