For Love and Vengeance (26 page)

“Look
at me. Aviva…look at me.”

Once
Jason gained her compliance, he brought up one of his large hands and cupped
her face as he propped himself up on his elbow. “This is what I need you to
understand, Angel. If I had lost you tonight, I would have made sure that I
didn't leave that house alive.”

“Don't
say that, Jason!” Aviva said crying even harder.

“You
see...that's what I mean, you still don't understand.”

Aviva
went still as he at last saw the dawning of comprehension reflected in her
eyes.

“Ah,
at last. I would give and do anything for you. Just one word from you is all
that would be required and it's yours. Because of you being in my life, for the
first time, I care whether I grow to be an old man. Because of you, I want to
know what it's like to hold my children in my arms. Because of you, I want to
know and embrace being a part of a family, but I only want to do all these
things if I can do them with you.”

Aviva
flung herself into Jason's arms unable to speak through her sobs, her face
buried in his chest. Holding her close, he closed his eyes and absorbed the
almost violent shaking that overtook her body. But her tears weren’t enough, he
needed her to voice her understanding of what he was attempting to convey. “Do
you
understand
, Angel?”

“Yes,
I understand and...Jason, I was only trying to protect you the way you protect
me.”

“I
don’t need your protection, Angel. What I need is your love, always,” Jason
told her.

“You
have it…always,” Aviva promised.

Jason
grew silent and Aviva thought their conversation had come to an end. Moving
slightly away from her, Jason broke their bodily contact and looked down at
her, his eyes intense and unblinking. “How do you feel, Angel?”

Unsure of the question,
Aviva asked one of her own. “What do you mean?”

“Does you back still hurt?”

“Oh, no I feel fine, thank
you.”

“Good…then you’re ready for
me…all of me,” Jason told her as he repositioned his hands and pulled her up
his body.

Aviva sucked in her breath
at his words. The first thought to jump into her mind was that this man was so
sexy when he got this intense. The second was that she was more than ready. The
third…well, there was no third because all she could think about, feel was…him.

The strength of the hands
that almost spanned her waist was something Aviva reveled in. The feel of his
body started a reaction in her and all her senses kicked in. She responded to
everything about this man, the feel of the solidity of his muscles, their
definition, six foot five of pure perfection and he was all hers. The scent
that was only his was an aroma she would forever be able to distinguish from
any other living person.

Held firmly against his
chest, Aviva watched, transfixed as Jason’s head moved to
press soft kisses against her forehead, her
cheek, and finally her lips. With each touch of his lips, he lingered a little
longer, almost as though he were reacquainting himself with the contour of her
face.

Jason
ran his fingertips along the smoothness of her face, his touch gossamer light.
Jason stilled all movement and stared down at his love’s face. What was it
about this woman that made her so different from all the others that he had
known? She wasn’t the most beautiful or the most intelligent woman he had been
with. The sides of his mouth kicked up as a thought hit him. She may not be any
of the things that just moved across his mind, but she was one of the funniest.
She made him laugh without even trying, and she made him happy.

Jason knew that he loved
this woman above all others and he wanted nothing more than to demonstrate just
how much she meant to him with the joining of their bodies. He knew he would
make love to her before the night was over, maybe even more than once, but he
had another need that he didn’t quite understand.

In a moment, the smile was
gone. Bowing his head, he closed his eyes and touched his forehead to hers and
rolled his head from side to side. Without conscious thought, his face moved
down until he could feel the softness of her cheek against him and he stopped
there, rubbing his face against hers for a few moments. He moved on, next he
touched his nose to hers then he changed sides and started over.

That was all the time it
took for him to understand the thought that had nagged at him. She had answered
too quickly, she said she understood how much he loved her, but her words had
come too quickly. Tonight was about showing her how much he cherished her being
in his life. Maybe then the doubt he carried would be alleviated. He recalled
her telling him about her parents’ relationship, or lack thereof, and it all
made perfect sense to him.

Chapter 29

Breaking contact with her,
Jason waited until she opened her eyes and met his gaze. “Do you need to visit
your father?”

Aviva was thrown into a
state of confusion at the abrupt change in mood. “Visit my father?” she asked,
clearly not understanding the meaning behind his words.

“I won’t have the ghost of
your parents’ relationship standing between us.”

“I don’t understand what
you mean.”

“I think you do. When do
you expect me to leave you? Six months…a year…ten years from now. When, Aviva?”

The look of fear seeping
into her eyes gave Jason his answer. He knew that with some women, no matter
how many times they were assured of their worth, that they were loved above all
others, they remained unbelieving. His angel was such a woman; her wide eyed
look of dread revealed the truth.

“I…don’t know what you’re
talking about.” Aviva made up her mind in a split second to feign ignorance of
his meaning.

“Don’t do that. Don’t take
me for a fool. I know you, probably better than you know yourself, and I won’t
stand for you lying to yourself and me for another moment, do you hear me,
Aviva?” Jason told her, giving her a shake to capture her full attention as
well as warning her of the seriousness of his words.

Aviva tried to pull away
from him, unwilling to be drawn in the direction the conversation was heading.
“If you want to pseudo analyze someone, I’m not your girl so get your hands off
me so I can get the hell away from you and this ridiculous conversation!”

“Hit a nerve, did I?”

Aviva went still, deadly
still. She met Jason’s eyes with a coldness he had never seen her exhibit
before and he was sure he wasn’t going to like whatever she was about to say.

“Get away from me!”

“Why, does the truth hurt?”

“You have until the count
of five to let me up, after which I’m going to scream this bloody house down.”

Aviva’s voice was so cold,
it gave Jason pause. He had never seen her like that and knew he had to get the
issue that stood between them out in the open and dealt with. His every
instinct told him to keep her exactly where she was. But cold eyes had now
changed to a form of desperation that he couldn’t ignore.

“I’ll let you up, but if
you try to leave this room, I’ll stop you.”

Aviva didn’t respond
although Jason saw her throat work as she swallowed. Removing his weight a
little at a time, he broke their physical connection. Springing up from the
bed, she made a dash for the door.

Jason knew she was in
flight mode from the moment he ask her to face the one issue that remained
between them. Moving quickly, he blocked her path.

“All I’m asking is that you
trust in what we have, and don’t tell me you do because I know you don’t, or
not completely. You are not your mother and I am definitely not that bastard
who donated sperm at your conception. Just talk to me…please.” Jason was
prepared to do whatever it took. He knew what he wanted and so did she. Now all
he had to do was somehow get her to admit it. She had been going through the
motions and had nearly convinced him of their longevity.

When the silence stretched
on for as long as he could tolerate, Jason spoke again. “Okay, Angel, I’m not
about to beg. I freely give you everything I have, everything I am and without
reservation. I do this because I love you, I will always love you. But I will
accept nothing but the same from you. So if you want to walk out…I won’t stop
you.” Saying all he intended, Jason removed his hand from the door and stepped
back.

Aviva remained perfectly
still as she felt the warmth of Jason’s body move away from her. How was one supposed
to react after having been confronted by her deepest fear of Jason someday
realizing that she wasn’t enough?

Jason held his breath as he
waited for Aviva to fight her internal demon. Just as he was about to give up,
she spoke.

“This thing between us…”

Jason cut her off before
she could finish whatever she was about to say. “It’s not a thing, Angel. It’s
called love. I love you and I know you feel the same. But I’m a greedy man and
I want it all.”

“So do I, Jason. More than
you know. But suppose it doesn’t work out. Suppose at some point I’m not enough
for you?”

“Not gonna happen.”

“How can you say that? Look
at your lifestyle, what you’ve accomplished. Sometimes I stand in awe of where
you could end up if you put your mind to it.”

“I’m where I want to be.
Where I will always want to be…with you.”

“You’re not hearing me!”

“I hear you. You’re not
hearing me.”

Jason’s words were met with
silence and he racked his brain for something more to say that would finally
convince her of how much he needed her in his life. Then he spoke.

“‘
Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in His hand who saith, ‘A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half,
Trust God: See all, nor be afraid!
’”

Browning. He was quoting
Browning. This big, naked wonderful man was quoting Robert Browning to little
Aviva Johnson from south London. “Oh, Jason.”

“Do you understand, my
Angel? Please tell me you do. You are my only love and I promise that I will
love you more each and every day that I am blessed with breath. But I want it
all, Angel…I must have it all.”

Her mind was made up. Never
again would she allow the shackles of her parents’ lives to be a determining
factor of her own. She had the best of men and she was keeping him. What the
hell had she been thinking?

Turning slowly,
deliberately, from the door, Aviva faced Jason, her eyes alight with devilment.
“Oh, you’ve gone and done it now…quoting Browning to me with your sexy ass
self.”

“Did it work?”

“Affirmative.”

“What else?”

“You are never getting away
from me until I draw my last breath, Jason Kingdom, and I’m about to lay it on
you so fine I’m gonna make you sing soprano,” Aviva told him as she took a dive
through the air in no doubt that he would catch her. And he did.

Pulling her close to his
body, Aviva wrapped her legs around his waist, closed her eyes and threw her
head back, laughing with happiness as Jason spun her around in circles.

Jason came to a stop beside
the bed and stood, waiting for Aviva to open her eyes. When she did, he spoke
to her in an even lower tone than she was used to hearing, his chest rumbling
with each word he spoke. “You have that wrong, Angel. The rest of the night is
all about you. It’s been nearly two weeks since I last made love to my angel
and I intend to make you feel…good.”

Aviva couldn’t think of a
comeback if her life depended on it and the look in his eyes said it all.

Taking hold of her legs,
Jason unwrapped them from around his body, never breaking eye contact, his
passion filled orbs screamed with anticipation of what was to come. She was
watching him with such intensity, Jason smiled as he had to pull her arms from
around his neck she held on so tight. Bending his knees, he scooped her up and
deposited her in the middle of the big bed. Then he stood perfectly still and
watched her, his eyes moving up and down her body in a slow perusal.

“Take it off.”

“Take it off?”

“Yes, Angel, take off that
shirt. I want to see you…all of you.”

“Oh, okay.” Rising to her
knees, Aviva’s hand reached towards the button of his shirt, fingers trembling
so much she had difficulty maneuvering them through their openings.

“I could do with a little
help here.”

“No…I want you to do it. I
promise this is the last bit of work you’ll have to do for the rest of the
night.”

Aviva licked her lips in
anticipation of his words…no, his promise. Her fingers fumbled. She internally
cursed whichever fool had invented buttons. What was wrong with Velcro? That
way she could just rip this sucker apart! But as his eyes followed her every
move, she changed her mind. Her man was loving the moment by moment reveal.
Just like that, her fingers became sure. Slowing down even more, Aviva bent her
head and undid another button. As it came undone, she peeped up at Jason to see
his reaction. His eyes were glued to her hands so she stilled her fingers and
waited. His eyes sprung up at her lack of movement. Giving him a small smile,
Aviva ran her tongue across her bottom lip and pulled it between her teeth. She
had his full attention.

Running her eyes down his
body, she saw that he was only at half-mast.
Oh no
, she thought to
herself,
that would not do
. Slipping her hand inside the opening she had
just created, Aviva ran her fingers along her collar bones until they
disappeared between the folds of the shirt…his eyes followed as though drawn by
a magnetic force.

Cupping the full breasts he
loved so much, she pushed them up and rubbed her open palms over them. Knowing
he was watching her every move only heightened her arousal and she was unable
to withhold a groan.

At the sound, Jason’s eyes
flashed back to her face but she wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were closed
and he wanted to know what she was thinking.

If Jason could read minds,
he would have known that she was envisioning it was his big strong hand running
over the sensitive tips of her breast. Cupping them, pushing them up, and
kneading until they formed sensitive globes, ready for him, only for him.

One last button, Aviva
thought, and then he had a promise to keep.

“Do it…now!”

By the tone of his voice,
he was impatient. Aviva knew her time was up. She wanted this man as much as he
wanted her. Taking one last look at him, she could see that he was now almost
at full mast. Wasting no more time, she released the last button and rotated
her shoulders to allow the shirt to fall down her arms.

Having enjoyed the show,
Jason moved. In a flash, he was upon her, trapping the shirt midway down her
arms and growing serious. “You like teasing with me, don’t you, Angel? Well,
now it’s my time to play. Are you ready for me? All of me? Nothing held
back…umm silence…I want you, need you, more than I have ever wanted or needed
another woman, and you’re going to take me. You’re going to satisfy me…but it
may take a while,” Jason told, her fastening his mouth against hers, devouring
every inch, his tongue trust forward, moving with slow deep deliberation,
taking what he wanted, demanding her response.

Wresting her mouth from
his, Aviva goaded him. “Show me what you’ve got. I don’t want the words, I want
action. Come on, show me…I can take it…show it now!”

Jason flipped a hand and
she was on her back. She wanted him, all of him…well, she was going to get him.
But first, he would show her just what she meant to him. He was about to ignore
her ploy at making him lose control. First, he was going to show her that her
pleasure was his alone to give. Then, and only then, was he going to
demonstrate that she was his need, his want, his reason for living.

With her hands still
enclosed in the sleeves of his shirt and trapped behind her, Jason had full
control. She wanted to see what he had? Well, he would gladly show her but he
intended to do it without words. Dipping his head, he ran his tongue over the
tip of one breast, over and over again, her body arched demanding more,
demanding attention for the one that was being neglected. But he ignored her
silent plea. This was his night, his perfect opportunity to show his angel what
she meant to him and he would not be rushed, one step at a time. By the end of
the night, she would have no doubts that only he could meet her needs, fully
completely…because he loved her. Jason relinquished coherent thought and all
that was left was sensual feeling. He vowed that not another word would pass
his lips until every fiber of his angel’s being knew a love like theirs didn’t
happen by accident. He had given her the words, now it was time to give her his
touch, his caress, his body.

Moving his mouth to her
other breast, he gave her what she wanted. The feel of his mouth against her
neglected nipple, pulling, sucking and pulling some more against the swell.
Gauging her reaction to his touch, Jason was determined to become everything
her conscious or subconscious mind had ever wanted in her man.

He knew his woman,
understood her psyche, her needs, and tonight he was going to ensure that he
left her wanting for nothing. He knew she loved the way he looked, the way he
felt. He felt the same way. But it was his promise to them both to show her
that what was between them was so much more than just the physical…what was
between them was eternal.

Deciding that his first
quest would be on her magnificent breasts, Jason continued his attention,
pulling, sucking, and rotating her nipple until he could feel her change. He
marveled at the fact that just his mouth on her breasts could cause such a
reaction. He had no doubt this woman was his and he would spend the rest of his
life making sure that she always responded to him as she was doing at this
moment.