For Nothing (19 page)

Rontego took his jacket off and pul ed his shirt over his head. Pressing the shirt against his wound, he forced himself to stand. Stumbling forward, he fel towards his room and unlocked it. As the hit man fel inside, he tied the shirt around his neck. It was hard to breathe but at least it was tight.

Rontego fel to the ground and rol ed over on to his back. Mustering his last bit of strength, he kicked the door shut behind him and drifted into the familiar oblivion.

Alex Vaughn shut the door to the hotel room behind him. The snow let up a bit and the sun was peeking through for a brief moment, making the day feel a bit warmer. The snow on the ground though, and the occasional gust of wind reminded Alex that it was stil winter.

Vaughn thought about what just transpired in the hotel room behind him as he walked towards Wizeguyz.
It was good to know that he had some al ies. Alex had not realized it but he was feeling very much alone in al of this.

The plan for now was to go back to the pool hal and see what transpired. Alex asked Hi-Def why the recording went to static. There must have been some useful information missed due to the untimely end of the device. But Hi-Def told Alex that they did not even have a bug in the pool hal . They used a long distance microphone and once the van was out of range they lost the ability to eavesdrop on the conversation.

Hi-Def gave Alex the phone codes to the secure lines for each of the men in the unit along with a nifty radio transmitter that looked like a button on the sleeve of his jacket. He would be able to transmit to Hi-Def’s laptop and he would get a notice on his Blackberry in real time as the message came in.

They also worked out a plan where Hambone and Hi-Def would be on the tail of either Alex or Ryan at various times. It would provide at least a measure of security for Alex who, up until now, had no backup.

Ryan was going to go back to Joey Ciancetta’s house and go to a wise guy party that night and see what he could discern.

Al in al , Alex liked Hi-Def and Hambone. The two of them seemed genuine in their concern about getting some semblance of revenge for Jack and it didn’t hurt that they were al stil legitimately on the job.

Alex Vaughn noticed a telephone booth on his right as his thoughts rambled on and a sudden urge came over him. He stepped into the booth and pul ed some coins from his pocket. Vaughn dialed the familiar number and waited as the phone rang.

As it rang, he thought of Jack. On the day of Alex’s wedding, Jack took Alex aside.

“
Alex, how do you feel about Charlotte?” His
face was serious.

“
What do you mean?” Alex was startled by
the question.

“
Right now, right this second, what does she
mean to you? Alex, it’s not rocket science.”
Alex composed himself. Thinking about it
for half a moment, he knew exactly how he felt.

“
I think she is my world. I can’t remember a
time before her and I don’t think I want to think of a
time without her.”

“
Good.” Jack liked the answer. “Now, no
matter what happens in life, no matter what things
get in the way, try and bottle how you feel right now,
right this second. When something goes wrong,
release the feeling you have bottled up and let it
remind you of what she means to you.”
Jack flashed Alex a smile and walked to the
mirror to fix his tie. He left Alex behind.

The phone rang one more time and then the voicemail picked up. It was Charlotte’s voice. She waited a few months before removing Alex’s name from the recording.

Alex thought about what Jack said, and he memorized what he wanted to say to Charlotte. He wanted to say how she meant the world to him, how he missed El a, how he missed home. Alex was just about to reveal his feelings onto the therapeutic recording when Charlotte’s tiny voice broke into the voicemail.

“Hel o?”

Alex hung there for a second, petrified.

“Hel o?” she asked again. “Alex, is it you?” Alex froze and then did the only thing he could do. He hung up.

What if she had forgotten how she felt about
me at that moment
, he wondered.

He tried to shake his thoughts loose as he continued on his way towards Wizeguyz, but they kept creeping back to memories of his life before he became so immersed in the job that lost him everything. The life when he had a wife, a child, a best friend.

It wasn’t even particular instances. It was flashes of bits of time. The thoughts came as a smile from Charlotte. They came as a laugh from El a. The thoughts came as a general memory of things he may have done a thousand times or seen a may have done a thousand times or seen a thousand times but it was al summarized in one flash of memory. Jack in a booth drinking a beer.

That memory summarized the dozens of bars they confided in. It summarized the hundreds of beers they shared. Alex shook his head as the memories assailed his consciousness.

“If only I could forget everything,” he thought out loud.

A lady with a shopping cart walked past as he spoke. She cast a wary look at him as she pushed her pop cans along the sidewalk past Alex.

He pul ed his jacket closer around him; he didn’t notice her at al . The reminiscing wouldn’t let him be. Though the sun shone on, the cold continued. The breeze bit at him and tore at his skin as the faded memories gained traction and became solid visions. The flashes came quicker now and became a ful -fledged action movie in his mind.

He was alone in his thoughts and the visions whisked him away, far beyond the troubles and worries of that frigid Buffalo avenue.

He was alone. He was in
their
bed, but he was alone. He didn’t know where she was. When he lay like this, she was under the crook of his arm. He would breathe on the back of her neck as her scent would come up to meet his nostrils. It was intoxicating at this hour in a way that always comforted him into a sound sleep. She was his magic elixir for al that ailed him after the hours, sometimes forty eight or more in a row on the streets.

Alex felt a dread that would not let sleep overtake him. He knew this feeling. It was a gentle ripping in his chest. It happened when they fought.

The adjoining bathroom was slightly ajar and Alex knew that she was in there. Her hand came through the doorway, and the rest of Charlotte fol owed. Even in her ferocity, she was beautiful. Alex couldn’t remember why they were fighting, but he knew the outcome. The déjà vu would not release him. Alex knew that he had to try though. He sat up on the edge of the bed. His back was to her.

“Baby, wil you come here please,” he pleaded.

He heard her heavy sigh, but he also heard the soft padding of her feet coming to him across the carpet. Maybe there was hope.

“I know al of this is hard. But it’s just you and me, love.”

She was in front of him now. He put his hands around her hips and pul ed her in. Placing his head against her bel y, he glanced at her tear-streaked reflection in the mirror above the headboard.

“Alex, it isn’t, though. It won’t be ever again.

Don’t you see?”

Alex felt the lump in his own throat grow, but he would never let her see that.

“I know love, I know. But I mean right now.

Can’t you see that I love you? I always wil . That has to count for something, right?”

Charlotte nodded her head in agreement, but the tears started squeezing out again.

“I just, I can’t, Alex. Sometime, you have to start living for someone other than yourself. I can’t stay here with El a. You aren’t any better than an absentee father.”

“Don’t do this Charlotte. I love her, I love you.” Alex saw this al happen before. He needed to keep trying though. There had to be a way to stop it before it happened.

If only I could just get her to stay the night.

She turned to leave. Alex grabbed her hand, tears were rimming his eyes. Frustration would no longer let him contain the raw emotion.

“Slow down baby. Please don’t sel me out yet. Don’t give up on me. Please, just don’t give up on us. Come here, lie down for a while.” Charlotte looked into his eyes. Some part of her found the love that her own frustration was blocking. She crawled into the bed and lay her head down on the pil ow facing away from Alex. Alex rol ed to meet her and wrapped his arm over her slender form.

Soft tears fel down her face and rol ed onto the pil ow.

“I can’t accept we’re going nowhere.” Her words struck him right in the chest. Alex held her tight. He just wanted to be closer to her, to remember how they used to be. He kissed her cheek and wiped at the tears traveling along her tiny nose.

“I have to go Alex.”

“Please, just one last time, let me hold you,” he whispered.

he whispered.

After a moment’s hesitation the soft reply,

“Ok.”

Alex got even closer and held on for al that she meant to him. She closed her eyes as he watched her. After several minutes, she fel asleep.

Perhaps there was hope. The morning would lend a clearer mind to these situations. Alex kissed her cheek. He fel asleep.

He awoke. Alex must have rol ed away from her in his sleep. In a panic, he rol ed back toward Charlotte. Before he even saw the empty space where she had lain, he knew the truth.

She was gone.

*

Alex stumbled forward, closing in on Wizeguyz. He was alone. His thoughts came back to the present and he reached the conclusion that perhaps he was destined to wander down the lonely road.

He was so stupid then, with Charlotte, so careless with what he had. What hit Alex hard was that he felt no wiser than the fool he was before. As he thought about these things, he realized that he reached his destination.

In front of him was Wizeguyz, and it was a bustle of activity. There was a heavyset, banged up youth standing outside of the pool hal . The fat kid looked dejected and by his bloody lip, the reason wasn’t hard to discern. Tom Coughlin’s car was pul ed up diagonal to the front of the building. Half of the car was in the street while the rest was pul ed up onto the sidewalk. Muro Lucano was walking towards the place with Sal Pieri and Frankie DeRisio in tow. Sal looked disturbed when he came up to the pool hal but as he saw Alex Vaughn, or Victor Garducci rather, he looked relieved.

Victor met him in front of the doors to Wizeguyz as Muro brushed against him on his way inside; the fat youth and Frankie were close behind.

Garducci was about to fol ow Muro in as wel when Sal grabbed his arm and motioned for him to stay outside with him. Victor stopped and looked at him.

Walking a few feet away from the door and any ears that might be prying, Sal started to speak with the look of a man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“So, shit is real y hitting the fan now,” he started.

“What do you mean?” Victor’s curiosity was piqued.

“Wel , Muro and Aldo just had me ditch a couple revolvers at one of our pawn shops down the road.”

There were at least half a dozen pawn shops nearby, but if the weapons were used in any of the recent hits, then Victor was sure some of his partners would like to know where that evidence was being stored. Victor decided it was worth trying to pry the location out of Sal.

“Which one?”

“Which one, what,” Sal asked, eyeing him.

Victor pressed him, “Which pawn shop?” Sal stood up a little bit straighter. “You ask a lot of questions, you know that Vic? Especial y for someone who was conveniently gone, according to big man Muro, when the shit went down.” Crap. He was starting to feel on the hot seat.

There were three ways to proceed; he could let it go and get nothing out of this, he could keep trying to prod him and maybe arouse Sal’s suspicion even further, or he could act slighted that Sal was getting suspicious and not including him. He decided on the last option.

“What the fuck Sal? That’s bul shit. Last I saw fucking Muro was coming back to the place, too.

Then, I ask you a fucking legitimate question and you come at me like that. At
me
like that! Fuck, Sal. You know what, look out for yourself next time ‘cause I sure as hel am not putting myself out there for your sake anymore.”

Victor turned around to go inside. Sal grabbed his arm again and pul ed him back.

Sal was looking stern now. “First of al , don’t you ever talk to me like that again. I’m a capo in this thing of ours. I can’t have you talking to me like that.

Definitely don‘t talk about Muro like that. That guy wil have your head. Now that’s
me
looking out for
you.
”

“Wel , how do you want me to act when you basical y cal me a rat like that?”

Victor kept his eyes away from Sal. Feigning anger and hurt, Victor hardened his eyes.

“Nobody’s cal ing you a rat, Vic. I was just saying these are dangerous times. Somebody can’t saying these are dangerous times. Somebody can’t be too careful. Listen, I’m just on edge. I lost my boy today. My boy, Vic. I don’t want to lose you, too. Now tel me what you were worrying ‘bout poor old Sal for.”

“Wel , for one thing, what pawn shop was it,

‘cause what if it’s one control ed by Ciancetta’s crew? You don’t think they would be interested in something like that?” Victor knew Sal wasn’t that stupid but he wanted the name of that shop.