For One Nen (3 page)

“Oh, are you alright? I know I should dust this place more,” Tala laughed nervously. “But I just get so caught up in reading that I forget where I am sometimes.” Tala reached out to steady Deni’s shoulder but drew it back with sudden self-consciousness.

Deni cleared her throat and tried to speak.

“Seeds,” she said and cleared her throat again. “I wanted to know if any seeds were in any of the crates of writings that first came on the Egress.”

“I don’t think so. I’ve never seen any in the stacks of things I’ve gone through,” Tala said as she looked toward the storage room for only a moment before bringing her focus back to stare at her long lost friend. She couldn’t help but gaze on her.

Deni noticed this because she wanted to stare back at the blue eyes set toward her body’s direction but she began to cough again.

Tala stepped quickly away to a small bathroom and hurried back with a wet cloth.

“Here, love,” Tala’s words were casual as she handed the cloth to Deni. But when the words fell from her mouth they laid her heart open for Deni to see. Her heart pounded a moment
but the awkwardness quickly passed when Deni tried to catch her breath again between coughs. She put the wet cloth over her mouth and slowly inhaled. Her coughing subsided.

“I’m alright,” Deni said as if she were unnerved by her own sudden show of weakness. “I was reading one of the planting books and it made mention of some seeds and some books that are not accounted for by the Tsila so I wondered if they were brought here to the library.”

“We could look,” Tala said with interest.

She led Deni down an
aisle with high shelves on each side until they came to a door far in the back of the library. She pulled a key from a string around her neck and thrust it into the keyhole above the knob. Opening the door Deni began to sneeze.

“I know. I’m so sorry. It’s so absolutely dusty,” Tala said with embarrassment.

They entered the seldom used storage room and Deni placed the wet cloth over her mouth again and her sneezing subsided. There were crates with lids left ajar. There were books strewn across the floor.

“I’m sorry the light is so dim,” Tala said.

“It’s alright. It’s just hard to breathe.”

“You’re used to all the fresh air around your plants,” Tala said. Taking her arm lightly Tala suggested, “You could wait outside and I could look.”

“No, no. I’ll be fine.” Deni wiped her hand across the top of a tall white box. She looked at her hand now covered in dust.

“Here,” Tala said and handed her a rag.

Deni wiped her hand and also wiped the front of the box around the latch.

She lifted the latch and easily pushed the heavy lid off. It hit the floor with a bang
, which made Tala jump.

“For a Tsila, you’re kinda loud,” Tala teased.

“We are all more than we seem,” Deni replied.

“Yes, I’m most everything, I suppose,” Tala said.

“No, not you…you are simply a lovely Goweli,” Deni said as she climbed the side of the crate and peered inside. 

“Oh, look at that,” Deni said.

“What? What have you found?” Tala asked as she strained on her tip toes to take a look into the crate.

Deni began to cough again but this time she couldn’t stop. Tala took her firmly by the arm and walked her outside and in fact out of the library.

“I’m fine,” Deni sputtered once she had caught her breath in the hallway.

“No, I think I should search for the seeds for you. For now let’s get you a drink and sit you down.”

Tala kept a firm grip on Deni’s arm as she walked her to the great dining hall not far down the main deck hallway.

Tala raced away to bring Deni some water.

“You should drink,” Tala said, placing the glass in front of Deni.

Deni though had been staring off in another direction.

“Deni,” Tala called softly as she reached for her hand.

Deni looked at Tala’s hand
touching her own and then gazed up at her beautiful love.

“Are you alright?” Tala asked.

“I’m sorry, I was just thinking,” Deni said. Reaching for the glass of water she looked at Tala a long moment. She took a drink and leaned in to softly say, “I’m sorry for staring. It’s just been so long. I can’t believe it’s really you.”

Tala smiled and replied, “I tend to keep to myself these days…well, actually for a long while now.”

“I’m mostly in the gardens,” Deni admitted. “I’ve been promoted to master gardener now. I work mostly with Aiden.”

“I don’t know him,” Tala said. “But it’s great about your promotion.”

Deni, well composed by now, set her glass on the table and said, “Would you like to see my gardens?”

“Yes,” Tala said quickly. She exhaled slowly as if calming herself, “I would like that, yes.”

With her left arm slipped around Deni’s waist she pushed her straight blonde hair to her right, out of Deni’s way. The two women walked further around the main deck’s hallway past the elevator to the gardens.

“I’m fine, really I am,” Deni said, referring to Tala’s long arm around her waist.

“I don’t mind,” Tala said with a smile.

Deni thought her heart would surely burst from her chest.

Tala opened the large door and froze, stark still.

“What’s wrong?” Deni said.

“I just had to catch my breath,” Tala admitted.

“Come now. It’s gotta be better than dusty books,” Deni chided.

“Oh! I love my books, there’s no mistake in that. I like their smell, their texture, the sounds of the pages as they turn – things you can’t get from reading anything from the central computer or my personal terminal. But this,” she gazed about, “this is, well it’s a kind of loveliness altogether different.”

“It’s my garden,” Deni said with pride.

“I’ve never been here. And it’s so large.”

Now breathing easier Deni took Tala’s hand and walked her down the long rows of green and yellow vegetables. She picked a purple berry and put it to Tala’s mouth.

“It’s so sweet. What is it?”

“Black Raspberry,” Deni said. “The Denizen brought it all the way from
Earth and then brought it with them here on the Egress.”

After rows and rows of thorny vines crawling up a terrace
, which held thousands of purple berries they came to rows of red pots that held tall green plants. Picking a white pepper from one pot and then an orange pepper from another pot Deni gave Tala a bit of the white pepper first.

“My mouth is burning,” Tala shouted immediately.

Quickly Deni gave her a bite of the orange pepper.

“No more,” Tala said pushing it away.

“Just take it, hurry,” Deni insisted.

Tala took the orange pepper and bit into it carefully. She looked at Deni in amazement.

“The burning is gone. Oh! What a wonderful taste.”

She then gave Deni a gently shove, “Hey you! Why’d you do that? The white one was so hot.”

Deni giggled.

“The cooks dry the pepper
s whole and then crush them into a spice. Come on.” She took Tala’s hand and raced further down the rows of tables filled with dirt, with a variety of vegetables.

Tala stopped in the m
idst of flowers of every color.

Deni waited a moment while Tala slowly gazed all about her.

Raising her hands, she closed her eyes, held her head back, and twirled slowly. Then she opened her eyes and gave a sweeping bow toward the flowers and after another twirl she turned to Deni and gave a bow that almost swept the floor with her light blonde hair. Raising her bright blue eyes again she looked down to Deni as she stood straight and tall. Deni gazed upward into Tala’s face.

“Thank you,” Deni said softly.

“You’re welcome,” Tala said.

They didn’t need any explanation of why Deni was saying
‘thank you’ or what Tala was welcoming. They just knew the two shared a moment of themselves that was so embedded into their identity that when they did so there was a forever trust among them.

Deni took a quick breath and pushed through her fear of risk and asked, “Would you do something else for me?”

Tala answered with her velvety voice, “Anything.”

“Would you touch my face?” Deni asked softly in the immense quiet room.

Without hesitation Tala looked down and laid her hands on each side of Deni’s face. “Like this?” she asked with deep focus.

Deni lost her breath completely for a long moment. She reached up and took Tala by the wrists and slid them softly from her face.

She inhaled deeply as if she hadn’t breathed in minutes. Letting it out she smiled with surprise.

“I’ve never liked anyone to touch my face,” Deni admitted.

Without a word between them Tala took one hand and ran her fingertips lightly down the side of Deni’s chesnut brown face.

“Hmm,” Tala simply murmured.

Deni closed her eyes and drank in the moment.

Tala gasped, “I left the storage door open. I must get back before Tanik sees. I’ll search the stacks for your seeds.”

Tala ran toward the shiny metal door.

“When can I see you again?” Deni called after her.

With the door half open Tala looked over her shoulder. “I always take my meals in the dining hall.”

Deni watched her go as she whispered, “Yes. I know.”

Even though she was gone Deni knew something. It was something she had known on that first day when they met at the tender age of twelve. She knew that no matter what happened to Tala and no matter what happened to her; Tala was a part of her…and always would be.

The following day she waited with great exhilaratio
n until time for midday meal.

Now, here she was, sitting with Tala in the great eating hall and she was happier than she’d ever been. Even The Maven had given her blessing.

Wrapped in a cloth, Tala slid her find across the table to Deni.

Deni leaned in and softly asked, “What’s this? Did you find some?”

“That’s not all. I’ve found writings of stories I’ve never heard before. It’s like they’ve just been forgotten.”

“Did you tell anyone? Tanik or anyone?” Deni asked.

“I wasn’t sure about that. I have a feeling Tanik wouldn’t like it.”

“Why?” Deni asked.

“Because. There are some contradictions to the traditional history that I’ve heard all my life. Contradictions to what she teaches in the keeper’s class.”

“How do you know what she teaches?” De
ni asked. “Isn’t it almost like its own little secret society?”

“I help her with her lesson plans. I see the dances she teaches and the paintings she instructs the students to paint. I know the songs and the poetry. I know it all.”

“So bring it to the gardens. If anyone asks I’ll say it’s for me,” Deni said slyly.

“But where will we put it? Other Goweli will be suspicious when they come to work. Won’t they?”

Deni thought for a moment then her golden eyes twinkled.

“The fallow field,” she said.

“What’s that?”

“It’s another enormous room for gardens where nothing is growing right now. We won’t use that room until…well until after the particle wave is scheduled to hit the Egress. So it may never be used.” Deni gave a short laugh but it quickly faded when she saw Tala’s brilliant glow fade. She pressed her hand over Tala’s and said, “I’m sorry, love.”

“It’s just…,” Tala looked into Deni’s eyes. “How could we have let so much time slip by? Promise me that we’ll always be friends. Promise that we’ll not waste any more time.”

“Hmm,” Deni sounded as she smiled. “I promise and…I’m sorry,” Deni said.

“For what?” Tala asked pushing her blonde hair behind her ear.

“For not being brave…until now. I was never able to look past your beauty to tell you what I’ve always wanted to say.” Deni paused as if she couldn’t make the words come out of her mouth.

Tala saw Deni struggling so she leaned over the table and almost cheek to cheek she whispered, “Tell me,” Then she leaned back and waited.

Deni looked away. She saw people coming and going in the great dining hall around them. She saw people eating and laughing with friends. She saw people eat in haste as they hurried back to their jobs. She saw people devour entire pastries by themselves only to start on another because they had given up on the hope of a future after the particle wave. She saw people arguing politics with each other. She saw all of this and then she looked at Tala.

All at once she pressed her open hand to her chest and concentrated on keeping her breath as it tried to disappear.

“Sometimes when I look around I think that life is crashing in on me. I try so very hard to stand in the midst of all this uncertainty. But life is never certain is it? And I’m tired of being scared. Scared about the particle wave, scared about what anyone thinks about how I live my life, scared of what others believe about me, even scared of you.”