For The Least Of These (11 page)

“And what? You’re sick, sick, sick? Why don’t you write a song about it? All of this sounds like sour grapes to me. Rick gets all the glory and you are just somewhere in the background. Would you be acting this way if you were the superstar and I was in love with you instead of Rick? I doubt it.”

“Thanks, Brandy. You’ve got me all figured out. Maybe you can psychoanalyze me later tonight. After Rick is done with you
– I mean, after you and Rick have had your time together.”

I ignored Adam’s insinuation that Rick was going to take advantage of me. I could take care of myself. I wasn’t blind to the fact that Rick had a reputation with the ladies. If I decided to sleep with Rick, I would be using him as much as he was using me.

Before I could come up with a snappy reply, Rick and Alicia came running back across the street. Rick was carrying a bag in his hand. “Let’s go check out the beach,” he said with a grin.

We all left our shoes in Adam’s car. I placed the keys to Sam inside one of my shoes so I wouldn’t lose them in the sand. Adam locked the car and we all headed towards the sound of the gulf. Soon, we were all walking down the slope that led to the beach. Huge sand dunes rose on either side of the trail and sea oats stuck out of them at weird angles. As we stepped out from behind the last dune, the moon-glow revealed white-capped waves crashing on the beach. The moon was full and its light seemed muted and hazy as clouds passed in front of it.

We looked around until we found an old driftwood log. It wasn’t rotted, so Rick and Adam carried it and put it down about fifteen feet from the shore line. It wasn’t big enough for everyone to sit on, so Rick sat on the sand directly in front of me, and Adam sat beside him in front of Alicia. I tried to be excited at having Rick so close, but instead, I found myself preoccupied with Adam’s closeness to Alicia.

Rick pulled a chilled bottle of Merlot out of the paper bag. Luckily, it had a plastic cork, and he popped it open.

“Where are the cups?” Adam asked.

“Damn,” Rick grumbled, “I knew I forgot something. I guess we’ll just have to drink it from the bottle. Like old times, eh Adam?”

I suddenly had a vivid memory of Alicia and me sitting on the beach sharing a bottle of some kind of cheap wine with two sailors we had met earlier that day. We were about sixteen at the time. Alicia had pulled out a roll of SweeTarts and started eating them with the wine. She had insisted that they enhanced the taste of the wine, so the rest of us tried it. We – with the exception of Alicia – had spent the rest of the evening taking turns throwing up.

I was brought back to the present by Alicia’s voice, “SweeTarts, anyone?”

Rick put his hand out, and I shouted, “Don’t do it, Rick!”

Everyone looked at me as though I were crazy. “Sorry,” I said, a little more calmly. “Those things just don’t go well with wine.”

“So says you,” Alicia said dismissively. “Come on, Rick, try it.”

Rick took several of the little candies in his hand. “I don’t need to try it. I’ve ate them with wine before. It’s a weird taste, but I like it.” Just watching him made me want to gag.

Adam said, “That is really disgusting.”

Everyone was quiet for several minutes. I didn’t know what to say, and it seemed that the others didn’t either. Naturally, it was Alicia who broke the silence.

“So what are we doing here anyway? Don’t get me wrong, I always prefer quiet, uneventful evenings – shrouded in apprehension – to noisy, exciting, fun-filled parties hosted by superstar entertainers. But I was hoping that we might have a conversation or something.”

Rick spoke up. “Alice is absolutely right. We need to get past this awkwardness that has invaded our get-together. What do you say we go skinny-dipping?” Alice?

With that, Rick was up and taking his shirt off. Alice – I mean Alicia – jumped up too and exclaimed, “Oh, boy! Now you’re talking!”

“Alicia, sit down,” I scolded. “You aren’t going skinny-dipping. It’s the middle of
the night. Don’t you remember that girl in ‘Jaws’?”

“Come on, Alice. Let’s show them,” Rick dropped his trousers and headed into the gulf wearing only his briefs.

“My name is Alicia. And here I come!” Alicia threw off her shirt, jeans, and bra and followed Rick into the water.

I looked over at Adam. He wasn’t moving, and neither was I. Finally he said, “Rick is a crazy man. What’s her excuse?”

“She’s always this way,” I sighed.

“Aren’t you worried about the two of them out there alone together? She’s topless, you know.”

“There’s nothing to worry about. Alicia isn’t attracted to Rick. She just wanted to have a good time. She’s not thinking about being topless. It’s dark, so she figures he can’t see her very well. Especially since she’s in the water.”

“You sure do trust her.”

“She’s my best friend, and she would never do anything to hurt me. Not intentionally, anyway. Isn’t it that way with you and Rick?”

He hesitated then said, “
Yeah, sure.”

At least we were being cordial again. I decided to try to lighten things up, so I said, “Let’s join them.”

He looked at me like I had truly gone insane. I stood up and grabbed his arm. At first he resisted, but then he finally stood up. As we stood there toe-to-toe, he looked into my eyes and I felt a shiver through my body. He was definitely handsome, but there was so much more in his eyes and his expression. I thought for a moment that he might kiss me, but instead, he pulled his shirt out of his jeans and started undressing. I was embarrassed to undress in front of him, but he turned his back so I stripped down to my panties.

Before he could turn around and see me, I ran down to the beach and went into the water. The
cool salt water felt good on my inflamed skin. I looked around for Rick and Alicia, but the blackness of the night had engulfed them. I could hear them laughing and talking, but they sounded far away. The crashing of the waves further muddled their voices and prevented me from determining their location. Adam, however, had no trouble finding me. He was almost on top of me before I realized he was there. I glanced down to ensure that my breasts were hidden by the water; then I said, “Where are Rick and Alicia?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I followed you, and I didn’t see them.”

“The water is nice.” I didn’t know what else to say to him.

“It’s not as bad as I thought.” We were so close together, and he was looking at me the same way he had on the beach. Even
though the water wasn’t that cold, I was shivering. Whatever Adam was stirring in me was making me a wreck.

“Hey, you two.” It was Alicia. She had found us.

“Hey,” Adam said. He sounded disappointed.

“I never thought an old wet blanket like you would go skinny-dipping.” This was Rick, and he was addressing Adam. “Especially with girls.”

“That’s cute,” Adam said. I thought it was mean.

“Brandy is like that, too. I’m always calling her a party pooper. She never does stuff like this.” What Alicia said wasn’t mean, it was true.

Alicia moved over beside me. “Brandy, you don’t have any clothes on!” she shrieked.

“Neither do you,” I reminded her.

“Yes, but…you and I are not the same. You don’t do things like this.” She seemed genuinely shaken by my actions.

Rick said, “I think we’d better get back to the beach.
It probably isn’t safe to be swimming in the dark.”

Alicia asked Rick if he’d bring our clothes to the shoreline so that we wouldn’t have to run naked across the beach. It hadn’t seemed to bother her when she was going into the water, so I assumed that her new found modesty was for my benefit. Rick deposited the clothing on the beach and then left us to dress alone.

“He likes you, you know,” Alicia said.

“What?” I asked.

“He really likes you.”

“He told you that?”

“He didn’t have to. I can see it every time he looks at you.” She sounded disheartened when she added, “I wish he’d look at me that way.”

“Alicia! You’ve never for a moment been interested in Rick. Why would you want him to like you now?”

“I don’t. I couldn’t care less what Rick thinks of me. He’s about as deep as the water in the mud hole in my driveway back home. I’m talking about Adam. He’s the one, Brandy. Get all the glitter out of your eyes and forget about Rick.”

“I don’t know what on earth you are talking about. Adam and I don’t get along. All we’ve done is argue since the moment we met. Besides, you know how I feel about Rick.” I hoped Alicia knew because I was totally confused about my feelings.

I was dressed and about to walk away, but Alicia grabbed me by the arm. “Brandy, just pretend for one moment that these are two guys we met at a bar or somewhere. They aren’t celebrities. Just two guys. Which one would you be after? It wouldn’t be Rick, and you know it.”

“I’ve loved Rick for all these years, Alicia. I’m not letting him go now that he’s so close. Anyway, if Adam really did like me, why would it bother you? Adam isn’t the kind of guy you usually go for either.”

“I’m not physically attracted to Adam. I can just tell that he’s a really good guy. And I just wish someone would look at me the way he’s been looking at you. If you could have seen how concerned he was for you at the hospital. I don’t know what made him fall for you so quickly, but give it a chance. He might be the one. Listen to your heart, not some dream you’ve been carrying around for twenty years.”

I pulled away from her and walked back to where Adam and Rick were sitting. They were talking quietly, and they stopped when I approached. I sat down on the log behind Rick and took the bottle of wine from him. I swallowed two mouthfuls and gave the bottle back to him. Alicia emerged and joined me on the log.

“Boy, that was fun,” Alicia said. “So, what now?”

“Anything you’d like,” Rick responded.

“So Rick,” Alicia began, “did you know that Brandy has been in love with you since she was twelve?”

I shot her daggers with my eyes, but of course she couldn’t see them in the dark. I wasn’t sure what she was up to, but I was certain it had something to do with our previous conversation. Rick responded. “Twelve? That must have been about ten years ago, right?”

He was either drunk or trying to get brownie points. Of course Alicia wasn’t going to let it go. “More like twenty,” she informed him.

“Thanks, Alicia,” I said sarcastically.

“So you love Rick Hartwood for his beautiful voice. Just like a million others.” The derision in Adam’s voice was apparent. I didn’t feel compelled to argue with him this time. In fact, I just wanted the conversation to be over.

“No,” Alicia defended. “She loves Rick. Not just his voice.” I wished Alicia would just shut up. She was only repeating things I’d said about Rick my whole life, but now I could see just how stupid it all sounded.

“And how, pray tell, did she love someone that she didn’t know and that she had never even met?” Adam asked.

“Oh, Brandy knows Rick. She knows him better than anyone. Just ask her.”

I just sat there. Alicia was somewhat right. I knew every fact there was to know about Rick, but I didn’t want to talk about that. I’d already had this conversation with Adam and it hadn’t ended well.

“So you think you know me?” Rick said directly to me. “What is my mother’s name?”

“Oh, Rick. That is way too easy,” Alicia interrupted. “I’m not even a fan of yours, and I know that your mother’s name is Mrs. Hartwood.”

I thought Adam was going to wet his pants from laughing so hard. He said, “She’s got you on that one, Rick.”

Rick ignored both of them. “Her name, Brandy. First and last.”

“Come on, Rick. I really don’t want to do this.”

Rick looked back at me with big puppy dog eyes. I felt my defenses breaking down. Rick could still get to me. “Fine. Her name is Francis Hartwood.”

“Wrong,” said Adam. “Some fan you are. Stumped on the first question.”

To hell with it, I knew Rick and I would prove it. To Alicia, Rick, and especially Adam.

“You didn’t let me finish. Her name is Francis Hartwood. But her maiden name is Wilson. And of course, Hartwood isn’t really her last name
– or Rick’s, for that matter. Your real name, Rick, was Richard Harwell. When you decided to change your name to Hartwood, your mother adopted the name as well.”

I couldn’t stop now. I was like a walking Rick Hartwood Encyclopedia. I continued to spout out fact after fact about Rick’s life and career. Rick was obviously eating it up, but Adam and Alicia seemed bored. I finished up by saying a number of things about how Rick and Adam had joined together to make Rick a star.

“You seem to know as much about Adam as you do about me. Are you in love with him, too?”

Rick’s question took me by surprise. Even more surprising was how the question made me feel. I looked at Adam and tried to respond. “No, I’m not in love with Adam. But I do have a deep respect for him.” Somehow, that didn’t really describe the feeling inside of me. A feeling that I was fighting with everything I had.

Adam remained quiet. Alicia looked completely defeated. Apparently she had hoped for a different outcome.