For the Win (Playing for Keeps Book 1) (16 page)

When I got about halfway through the book, there was a knock on the door. I knew it would be Cooper, but I still found my heart picking up speed. Dad raced into the room, leaving the kitchen where he’d been cooking dinner, and let Cooper in.

“There’s my sexy bookworm,” Cooper greeted me.

“I’m not sure about sexy.” I reached up and touched my shorn hair. The day after Cooper had shaved my hair, Dad and I went to a beauty store and had a wig made. Right now it sat on my dresser. Usually I tried to wear it when Cooper came over, but the truth was, I hated it. It was itchy and I didn’t look like myself when I wore it. The shop had done a good job with it, trying to make it look like my hair did. But to me it wasn’t right. It wasn’t me.

I missed my real hair. I missed the flush of my cheeks. I missed the little fat roll on my belly that I used to try every year to get rid of.

Quite simply, I missed me.

“Trust me, you’re sexy. Hair or no hair.” Cooper was always so blunt about everything. Sometimes it shocked me, but I was getting used to it. Plus, I liked how he never sugar coated anything. Dad treated me with kid gloves, like I was so fragile he was afraid the truth might break me. But Cooper didn’t do that. Lowering down on the edge of the couch, Cooper sat near my feet.

“What’s behind your back?” I asked, pointing to his hands that were securely hidden.

“So impatient,” he joked, proffering his hands. In them he was holding several hats. “I know you don’t like your wig, and I like seeing you in my hats, so I figure this is the perfect solution.”

Sitting up, I grinned. I reached out, snatching one of the hats. “This one isn’t yours. This is the A’s.”

“They’re my favorite team,” he said. “Put it on.”

I nodded, and did as I was told.

“Perfect. I love seeing my girl wearing the hat for my favorite team. Now you just need a jersey.”

“Why stop there?” I teased. “Don’t I need a foam finger?”

He scrunched up his nose. “Nah, those are tacky.”

I giggled as he set the other hats down over my legs. “They’re all yours.” Glancing up, his face grew serious. “But I meant what I said, you’re beautiful no matter what. So only wear them if you want to.”

“Deal,” I said softly.

As if it was his way of thanking me, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine. It was a quick kiss since Dad was in the next room, and I found myself longing for more. It had been so long since we’d been alone.

Glancing down at the hats, I felt a pang of guilt. “I feel bad that I didn’t get you anything for Christmas when you brought me such a great gift.”

“Oh, this isn’t your gift.” Cooper smiled.

“It isn’t?”

“Nope.” He stood. “I’ll be right back with that.”

I was confused when he went back outside. Sitting up, I tried to see out the window, but I couldn’t make anything out. When Cooper returned, he once again had something behind his back. Dad entered the room, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. The two of them locked eyes, both grinning. I looked between them, suspicious. What were they up to?

“Pumpkin,” Dad spoke. “I know things have been tough financially for us, but I wanted to get you something special for Christmas. So Cooper and his grandparents and I all went in together to get you something.”

My breath caught in my throat when Cooper swung his arm out from behind his back, revealing a box holding a brand new laptop.

“Oh, my god,” I squealed, my hand slapping over my mouth. “I don’t know what to say.”

Cooper set the box in my lap. “I think that smile said enough.”

“Yes, it really did,” Dad agreed.

As I looked from Dad to Cooper, then back down at my brand new laptop, my heart burst. I was learning that no matter how dark things became, with these two in my life, there was always beauty and light to be found.

Cooper

At the end of January, London went into remission.

And I wanted to celebrate by doing something special for her. The holidays had been so awful for her this year. She deserved to have a little fun. So I took her on a trip to the snow. She told me the last time she’d been up to the snow was when she was ten. She and her dad had spent a weekend in Tahoe, making snowmen and having snowball fights. And she loved it, but they hadn’t been back. Mostly because her dad was busy working, and they rarely took trips.

We weren’t staying overnight, even though I wished we could. London may have been getting better, but her dad would never sign off on me taking her somewhere overnight. In fact, even if she was perfectly healthy and had never had cancer, I was certain her dad’s answer would be the same. Dexter and I got along well, but he was still pretty protective of his little girl. Not that I blamed him. I was pretty damn protective of her too.

But it was okay.  We had the whole day alone together, and that was enough for me. Since London had been sick, we’d rarely been alone. And I needed to be with my girl. I needed to feel her lips on mine, her hands on my body. I desired to touch her, to kiss her, to feel her body against mine. I wasn’t used to staying this pure, let me tell you. I was the guy who hooked up with a new girl every week.

All London and I had done was kiss, and even that hadn’t been happening very often lately. Not that I was complaining exactly. What I had with London was so much better than what I’d had in the past. Only for her could I be this patient. Besides, she’d been sick. How big of an ass would I have to have been to bring up the subject of sex with a girl who was ill?

But now she wasn’t sick, and I was anxious to see where this day alone with her would lead.

She was wearing one of my Tigers’ hats, a sweatshirt and jeans, but she had brought gloves and a knit hat. They were tucked away in her purse. Her eyes sparkled as I drove, and in them I could see hope that hadn’t been present in the last few months. It was amazing the transformation that took place when she found out she was in remission. Sure, she’d been tough while battling the cancer. Tougher than I could even imagine. And she handled it better than I probably would have. But there was always this darkness in her eyes, like a light had gone out. It was nice to see that light back.

An hour into the drive we stopped at a little diner for lunch. After getting back on the road, it wasn’t long before we started spotting snow.

“Look!” London pointed toward the shimmery white patches. Her face was flush, her lips curling upward at the edges.

Reaching over with my free hand, I laced our fingers together. “I have the perfect spot to stop at pretty soon. It has a little hill we can slide down and lots of open area to play around.” I had a little sled tucked away in the trunk.

When we reached our destination, I popped the trunk to get the sled out while London leaned against the car and put on her hat and gloves. With her rosy cheeks and nose she resembled a doll.

“You are so damn beautiful,” I said.

She giggled, and I couldn’t wait any longer. Abandoning the sled in the trunk, I bridged the gap between us. Curling my hands around her waist, I tugged her forward. Her expression grew serious, her gaze dropping to my lips. I hooked my fingers into the belt loops on her jeans as her palms came up to rest on my chest. Angling my face, I lowered my head and crashed my lips into hers. There was no going gently this time. I couldn’t restrain myself. She responded, her lips moving quickly over mine. Our tongues tangled together as she reached up, her glove-encased hands sliding up my chest, trailing over my shoulders, and resting at my neck. In my kiss I conveyed how grateful I was that she was better, how much I cared for her, and how much I missed this connection. As always, the kiss was intense; like an earthquake shaking the ground and splitting the earth beneath us.

“As tempted as I am to stand here all day and make out with you, I did promise you a day in the snow.” Winking, I returned to the trunk and snatched the sled out. When I shoved the trunk closed, it slammed shut with a bang. “So, we better get to it.”

Our feet crunched over the snow as we trekked across it. London shivered by my side, so I slung an arm over her shoulder. Sighing, she nestled into me. Damn, I was so close to tossing the sled and shoving her into the back of my car. Exploring the snow didn’t sound nearly as exciting as exploring London.

But then I glanced over at her and saw her taking it all in. Her expression was one of awe. She loved it here, and I wouldn’t take this experience away from her.

“What first?” I asked.

A stream of laughter filled the air as a few kids slid down the hill a few feet from us.

Her expression grew wary. “Um…I think I better start slow.” Ducking out from under my arm, she bent down. Before I could register what was happening, a snowball hit me smack in the chest.

“What the--”

Another one hit me, and the sled slipped from my fingers. London laughed.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Leaning over, I scooped up a ball of snow. Standing up, I brought my arm back ready to strike. Then I caught sight of London and hesitated.

“Bock, bock, bock.” She flapped her arms like a chicken.

I chuckled, lobbing a snowball in her direction. It landed near her feet.

“Seriously? Is that all you got?” She hurled another snowball toward me, but I sidestepped it and it crashed to the ground.

“London,” I said, shaking my head.

Her shoulders sagged. “C’mon, Cooper. I know you can throw harder than that. You’re not even trying.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “If you’re not going to take this seriously, then why don’t we just leave?”

“I am taking this seriously,” I said.

“No, you’re not. We came here to let loose, to have fun. Stop treating me like I’m going to break.” Groaning, she stomped her feet in the snow. “God, I’m so tired of it! I want to have fun. What good is it to be healthy if everyone still treats me like I’m sick?”

Her words made me feel like shit. And I knew she was right. When she whirled away from me I picked up a snowball and hurled it at her back. It smacked her square between the shoulders. She froze, and slowly pivoted. On her face was a huge grin.

She bent down. “You better watch out, Mister.” When the snowball left her hand, I lunged to the left and it barely grazed my elbow. Then I shot another one in her direction. This one got her in the leg, and she squealed. She tossed another one to me, but I caught it. Then I raced toward her, wrapping my arms around her middle and gently tackling her to the ground.

Giggling filled my ears as we landed. Her breath was warm against my skin as she breathed heavily. “Thank you, Coop.” She kissed my lips. “This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.”

“It’s not over yet.”

“It better not be,” she said. Then a shiver ran through her as her teeth began to chatter. “God, it’s cold.”

I smiled. “Does this mean you’ve already had enough of the snow?”

She drug her bottom lip through her teeth, and it took all my willpower not to bite it. “Nope. I think I’d like to try sledding. I’ve never done that.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Shoving off her, I stood. Then I held out my hand. She tucked hers in mine, and I yanked her up. “Let’s go.”

With her hand in mine, we walked over to retrieve the sled off the ground. Then we hiked up the little hill. It was one designed more for kids, so it was perfect. The last thing I wanted was for London to get hurt. As tough as she appeared, I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her.

“Last chance to back out,” I said, when we reached the top.

“Coop, are you scared?” she teased. “You don’t have to go with me, you know?”

I grabbed her around the middle. “That’s it. We’re doing this now.” When I picked her tiny body up, she screamed. But it was a happy scream, not a frightened one. Tenderly, I set her down on the sled. Then I straddled her from behind, circling one arm around her waist. “Ready?”

She nodded, and I pushed off with my other hand. The sled began its descent down the hill. Icy wind whipped us in the face, and the ground bumped beneath us. London let out a little yelp when we crashed at the bottom. It wasn’t bad. The sled fell over a little, and we landed softly in the snow.

After helping London up, she smiled at me. “I did it.”

“You certainly did.” I kissed her on the cheek.

“Can I do it again?”

“Of course.”

After several more times London’s lips turned blue. She shivered, her teeth chattering again. We were pretty wet from the snow by this point. “Wanna go back to the car and warm up?”

She nodded, still shivering. When we got back to the car, I turned on the heater and rubbed my palms together. London peeled off her wet sweatshirt. Underneath she only had on a white tank top. My heart stuttered in my chest.

“Can you hand me the other sweatshirt I brought?” She asked.

I glanced behind me to where her other sweatshirt sat in the backseat. I was tempted to tear off the shirt she had on, abandoning the other one in the backseat. But I fought against the instinct, and reached in the back for her sweatshirt.

As I handed her the shirt, I reached out and touched her bare skin. The pads of my fingers trailed up her arm and slipped under the edge of her tank top. Her skin was smooth and pale, ivory like the snow. She froze, her eyes on me. Leaning over, I kissed her shoulder, her flesh soft against my lips. Then I dragged my lips across her collarbone. Her sharp intake of breath was like a nod of encouragement. My lips skated up her neck, my tongue licking out at her skin. She arched her back, leaning her head back to expose her neck. As I peppered kisses all along her neck and collarbone, my hand slid under her shirt, running along her smooth stomach and up to her breasts. When my fingers inched under her bra, she stiffened.

“Cooper.”

The stern way she said my name caused me to pause. I lowered my hand and drew back, confused. Without looking at me, she yanked the sweatshirt over her head and then hugged herself. It was like a slap in the face.

“Hey.” I tucked my finger under her chin and guided her head in my direction. “What’s going on?”

She sighed. “I don’t know. I panicked, I guess.” Her gaze lowered. “I’m sorry, Coop.”

“It’s all right. I never want to make you uncomfortable. I need to understand why. Is it me?”

“No.” Her eyes snapped to mine, her hand touching my face. “God, no. I want to be with you so badly. I’m just scared, I guess.”

“What are you scared of?”

“I don’t know.” Her eyes shot to the window, and my stomach dropped. There was something she wasn’t telling me. Something big. No matter how much London opened up to me, I knew there was some part of her she kept guarded. A secret she wasn’t ready to share. And I wanted to press it, to demand answers. But I couldn’t. Not today. I wouldn’t ruin this day for either of us.

I sat back in my seat, deciding to let it go for now.

A week after our trip to the snow, Grandma invited London over for a home-cooked Thanksgiving meal. It may have been February, but that didn’t matter to Grandma. She’d find any excuse to cook and entertain, and London getting well was reason enough for her. Besides, she’d felt guilty ever since London had to miss out on Thanksgiving at our house. After seeing how much she loved pie, Grandma had been dying to make her another one.

London and I sat in the porch swing on the front porch. It was cool outside, but not cold. There was a light breeze, but the sky was blue, the sun warm in the sky. The scent of Turkey and fresh baked pie wafted through the walls, reaching us even out here. I swung us back and forth by pushing on the ground with the toe of my shoe, the chains rattling by my head. London’s fingers were woven through mine.

“What are your plans now that you’re better?” I asked her. “Thinking of returning to school?” Even when she was at her sickest, London kept up with her studies. But I knew she got bored sitting at home all the time. She’d confided in me several times that as much as she thought she hated high school all these years, she actually missed it.

“Oh, probably not.” She shook her head. “Not this year. It would be too hard to go back. “Definitely next year though.” Her gaze locked on mine. “Too bad you won’t be there.”

“I could stay. Do senior year again,” I joked.

“Yeah, right.” She giggled, resting her head on my shoulder. “But there is a writing class I could take at parks and rec. I’ve been thinking of joining it.”

“You should. It would be good for you to get out of the house.”

“You sound like my dad,” she said.

Normally I had no desire to sound like a parent, but in this instance it didn’t bother me. Dexter was right. Being cooped up in her house all day wasn’t good for her. Now that she was healthy enough to get out, she needed to do it.

“Well, then I think you should listen to us.” I nudged her.

“Oh, you do, huh?” She lifted her head, turning her neck in my direction. The sunlight spilled across her face, shining in her eyes.