Forbidden (7 page)

“Stop! Just stop it!” she gasped, covering her burning cheeks. If he kept talking, she was going to…well she didn’t know, but something was going to happen, and she’d end up embarrassing herself.

“Very well, I’ll go easy on you. Just dinner tonight.” He winked, and she could almost hear him say,
“Seduction tomorrow.”

There was something eerie and erotic about the way he studied her and drank again, licking his lips.

Every instinct inside Kat shouted that she was being hunted. It was the only word to describe the feeling. Every sense, every muscle was ramped up. Her heart beat hard against her ribs. She sucked in a breath as her body responded with interest. Too much interest. Her thighs quivered, and she pressed them together as she felt a flood of heat deep within her core. The idea that he wanted her was exciting, even thrilling. He made her feel…like a real woman. Yet she was still afraid to rush headlong into whatever this thing was between them. He seemed so confident and at ease about this, but she was spiraling out of her comfort zone at a hundred miles an hour. He probably did this whole “Here’s dinner, let’s have sex” routine with tons of girls all the time, but she didn’t want to be just one of a string of women.

If it was casual sex, she’d regret it, and she didn’t want any regrets. Sex was supposed to be meaningful, at least it was to her, and intimacy wasn’t just physical—it should be emotional, too. Several of her friends from high school had told her about casual sex, but it hadn’t seemed wonderful, not in the way Kat knew sex should be. It was part of the reason why she’d waited. For the right man at the right time. Was Tristan the one?

All her life she’d felt like a little girl, abandoned by her mother and at odds with the world around her. But when Tristan looked at her as he was doing now, she seemed to feel differently. Like the woman she wanted to be, one who knew herself and her own desires. As infuriating as it was to know he thought he would easily seduce her, she did want him to try because she wanted to kiss him again. To feel that heady rush of physical pleasure and that deeper sensation of connection.

When he kissed her, her mind seemed to flood with images of butterflies, of stained glass, of adventures from the books she cherished. He seemed to make everything she cared about come to life inside her mind. Like a wonderful sort of magic. It was easy to lose herself in the sensation of his embrace and leap off the edge without thinking. But what if he didn’t feel the same way? The thought of being a notch on his bedpost made her feel a little anxious. But she’d pledged to herself she was busting out of her shell, and dinner with Tristan was certainly a risk she knew she should take.

“Fine. Dinner tonight,” she said slowly, but she knew there might be more of something…maybe more kissing. She knew because her body and mind were warning her, warning her that she’d not last long against any sensual seduction. She might like whatever he did too much.

“Finish your dinner, and then we’ll talk.” Tristan towered over her until Kat was squirming.

Had he even realized he was bossing her around? It pissed her off, but it was also kind of a turn-on, and that
also
pissed her off. She didn’t like men telling her what to do. But there was something about Tristan and the way he did it that made her annoyance melt and her body flush with heat. She could imagine other ways he could order her around. Like in bed…

“How are your classes?” he asked after she’d taken her first bite of the delicious pasta.

His desire to attempt to make small talk with her was almost funny. Was this his way of trying to date her? Did he think if he chatted her up, she’d be more open to whatever he clearly was thinking would come next? The heated looks Tristan was sending her way gave her the impression that he was picturing how she’d taste if he nibbled on her. She pictured him doing just that, and the dirty thoughts that followed made her heart skip.

How did he have this effect on her? It was as though whenever he came near her, he flipped some “sexy” switch inside her, and she wanted to kiss him…and do a whole lot more. With a swallow, she tried to breathe and not let her face heat up.

“You’re really going to try and do the whole small talk thing with me after declaring you’re going to seduce me?”

Tristan focused on his food as he took a bite, then looked up at her. “I like the sound of your voice. It’s soft, husky. Like a woman well-loved in bed. If I can get you to keep talking, it doesn’t matter what we talk about.”

He liked the sound of her voice? Kat involuntarily reached up and touched her throat. When she realized what she’d done, she dropped her hand and gripped her plate of food. No matter what he said, small talk was safe. She could do that.

“Okay…we can talk. You asked about my classes. They’ve been good. I’ve had a lot of reading to do for exams.”

“And what do you study? Have you selected a focus area?” He seemed genuinely interested, and she was actually glad to talk about it.

“History.” She took a sip of her wine and then another bite of the food. It tasted as good as she’d imagined.

“Ahh, and what makes you like history? What do you plan to do with such an expertise?” The muscles of his forearms rippled when he picked up his plate again, and Kat had to collect herself before she could answer.

“I…uh, I want to teach. I plan to get a PhD. When I was little, I had a teacher who let us reenact the signing of the Magna Carta. Ever since then, I’ve been hooked. The stories about people from hundreds and thousands of years ago,” she paused, realizing she was rambling, and ducked her head.

Tristan leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. “Please, don’t stop. Finish what you were saying.” There was an earnestness to his expression that compelled her to continue.

“Well, it’s hard to explain but reading about people long after they’re gone, it makes me feel less alone.” She shouldn’t have admitted that. It made her sound lonely, but it was the truth.

“That makes sense. I enjoy history for the same reasons.”

Needing to change the subject, she turned the focus onto him.

“What about you? You said you were pursuing a Master’s degree in business. I bet those classes are hard.”

Tristan chuckled, leaning back in her desk chair. “It’s been a challenge, but one I’ve enjoyed. Most people cringe when they think of finance and accounting or investment strategies. I enjoy all of that.” Passion filled his face and, for a moment, it was hard to breathe.

He was so damn sexy, almost
too sexy
. A hint of a devastatingly perfect dimple peeped out from his left cheek when he smiled. She’d never had a thing for dimples, but
his
made her knees go weak. Resting a hand over her stomach, she tried to quell the rising flutter of excitement.

“What’s the matter?”

“What’d you mean?” She licked her lips and glanced away.

“Your face is an enticing shade of pink.” He poured himself a second glass of wine, but when she reached for her own empty glass, he shook a finger at her. “Oh no, one is enough for you. I want your wits about you when I’m around.”

“What?” What man would ever refuse to let a girl drink more than one glass of wine? He was probably the first guy in the history of the world who didn’t want a woman intoxicated to increase his chances of getting laid.

“I want every decision you make with me to be completely clear-headed.”

“Why?” she demanded.

“Because I want you, Kat. And I want you to come to me without the influence of alcohol.”

Kat swallowed hard. Come to him? “You mean
if
I sleep with you.” She cleared her throat.

“
When
you sleep with me.”

She gaped. Words dissolved on her tongue.

“Why do you look so surprised?” There was an edge to his voice that made her shiver, but not in a bad way.

Damn him.

“I’m trying to figure out how your head doesn’t explode from the oversized ego you’re carrying around.”

“My massive ego? Trust me, it’s not my ego that’s oversized.” He chuckled. “How many men have you been with?”

“That’s none of your business,” she shot back.

It was too personal. There was no way she was telling him she was virgin. No way in hell.

“A couple?” he guessed, and then his eyes narrowed. “One man?”

Still, she didn’t answer. Her tongue seemed glued to the roof of her mouth.

“Are you a virgin?” He seemed to choke on the word.

Anger snapped inside her like a taut rubber band. “And if I am? Is that a bad thing?”

He needed to understand that she was cautious. Not some girl who slept with just any guy. Even if he was hot enough to melt her panties.

Shit! Get control, Kat
.

“It’s not a bad thing.” Tristan stroked his jaw with one hand as he studied her. “It explains your reactions to me a bit more. Did you ever come close with someone?”

When she didn’t answer, he spoke again. “Don’t go quiet on me now, I like it when you aren’t afraid. Talk to me,” he pressed gently. “I promise not to tease you too much no matter what you say.” He seemed genuine enough that she believed him, in this, at least.

She couldn’t get the heat to fade from her face. “I had a boyfriend in high school, but we never did anything.”

“Ahh, there it is.” His lips sported a knowing smirk. Tristan relaxed, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What do you mean by that?” She climbed off her bed, stalked to the tiny counter, and clanged her plate as she set it down.

“Only that you don’t have enough experience to recognize what there is between us.”

He rose and joined her by the sink, setting his own plate on top of hers.

The heat of his body cocooned her when she turned around to face him. Right now, Kat hated how tall he was, how uneven she felt when trying to challenge him. The man could unbalance her with a smile, or a small but seductive brush of his hand anywhere on her body.

“There’s nothing wrong with not having a lot of sexual experience. It means I’ll have the pleasure of teaching you.” His voice dropped to a husky level that sent ripples of excitement through her. “Of being your
first
. And there’s so much I can introduce you to…toys…role play…” He made a soft, rumbling sound that was almost a growl.

“T—toys?” The word came out on a stutter, and she clamped her mouth shut.

“Yes. Things I can slip inside you that vibrate, pulse, shiver. Things that will make you lose your mind while I fuck you. Wouldn’t you like that?”

It was like the power went out inside her head, and everything logical shut down as her body reacted with an explosion of lust. She rushed for the bed, sitting down just a second before her legs would have given out. Holy hell…She was talking to Tristan about sex toys?

He swirled his glass of wine, inhaling the scent, his lids dropping to half-mast.

Kat desperately needed another drink if they were going to continue this conversation. Lunging for his glass, she tore it from his grasp and downed the wine before he could stop her.

“That’s enough,” he reprimanded, prying the empty glass from her hands.

His full, oh-so-kissable lips were wilted in a frown as he set the glass on the small dresser. Then he placed his hands on her hips, his long elegant fingers spanning her waist.

The touch was intimate, but not overtly sexual, but it didn’t stop a stab of sharp arousal within her, and tingles of awareness flowing through her lower body.

“There is nothing wrong with limited experience.” He moved one hand off her hip to raise her chin. “But you have no idea what it could be like between us. I knew from one kiss.”

Kat didn’t move away. The dark part of herself, the one she buried deep inside, unfurled like a red rose, petals curving out, ready to be touched, caressed by the words Tristan spoke.

“What did you know?” She stared at his lips, remembering all too well that kiss. The one in the bar, but the others, too. Every kiss with him was stunning, but she’d thought that was just her. If
he
felt that way too…

“When I kiss you, it makes me forget my name.” He stroked a fingertip over her lips, tracing their shape. “I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I’ve had dozens of women and yet you…” He paused as though puzzled. “You’re all I can think about. Don’t deny you feel something too. Aren’t you curious?”

A
ren’t you curious?”

The question left Tristan’s lips in a seductive almost-whisper, and that dark part of herself purred, begging to be released.

“But we don’t even know each other. I can’t sleep with someone I don’t know.” Was she really even considering sleeping with him? They shouldn’t be having this discussion. Whatever happened to old-fashioned dating? Kat almost laughed. She couldn’t picture Tristan dating or doing anything so
normal
. He didn’t look normal, didn’t act normal, was the farthest
thing
from normal.

Tristan cupped her cheek and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “If that’s all it takes, then let’s get to know each other.” He dropped his hands to his waist, lifting his sweater to unhook his belt and slide it out from the loops.

“What are you doing?”

“You can use it to restrain me, bind one of my hands to the bed railing.” He pointed to the slender metal frame jutting out an inch past her mattress. “It will keep you safe from me seducing you. At least tonight. Normally I’m the one who likes to restrain a woman in bed, but in situations for building trust…” He stroked the soft-looking black leather of the belt. “I’ll let you bind me to the bed. Just one hand. I can’t do anything to you except lay beside you. We can talk, get to know each other.”

“That sounds like bundling from colonial America.” She remembered reading about it in high school, where couples courting would be allowed to spend the night. The man would be sewn up in a sackcloth so the couple couldn’t be intimate physically.

He laughed. “It’s a mite better than sewing me up in a sackcloth, but yes, the principle is much the same. I knew you Americans had some good ideas.”

A laugh escaped her, and she couldn’t stop it. “Are you always this ridiculous?”

Tristan winked at her. “If it makes you laugh, then I’ll be ridiculous more often.” His gaze softened then. “I like it when you laugh, it’s a nice sound.”

The sincere compliment caught her off guard, and that familiar heat that always followed Tristan’s praise flooded through her body.

“Thanks. I like the way you laugh too.”
God, now I sound ridiculous
. But it was true, his laughter was wonderful to her ears. It was rich, almost melodic, and it instantly made her want to smile. There was never anything forced about his humor, nor was it mean. Some guys she’d known in the past only found things funny when people got hurt or when it was at someone else’s expense. Tristan may have had an innate sense of self-importance, but he didn’t have any cruelty or coldness to him. Rather he drew her in with his smiles, his teasing, and his laughter. It made him irresistible.

“Well, what do you say? I’m up for a bit of bundling.” He flashed that wicked grin that made her knees go weak.

Giggling, she shook her head. “I was sort of in the middle of studying. I don’t have time to play kinky sex games with you.” It scared her how appealing that idea really was, though. Sure the man had sex appeal just rolling off him in waves, but she also had to admit she really liked talking to him, just being around him. It was fun and engaging. It felt like the beginning of a bigger adventure than anything on her list would ever be. If she kept spending time with him, she’d want something more, like a real relationship, but she knew from what she and Lacy had discovered about his past that he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. He went from woman to woman, bed to bed. That wasn’t a guy you could depend on to be a steady boyfriend. That was a guy who would break your heart. No smart woman would sign up for that willingly. Still…Tristan was so irresistible that she couldn’t seem to convince herself to stop this thing between them from going any further.

“Kinky sex games are actually my specialty. Just wait until I get you tied down on a bed…the things I can do when you’re spread helpless and I have all night to play with you…” He let that image float through the silence that followed, and Kat struggled for breath.

Tied down…Tristan’s body over hers…helpless to stop whatever he might do…
Kat’s body quaked with a sudden, almost painful surge of lust.

And then he was standing right in front of her, one hand touching her waist again, and the other cupping her chin. “You’d better remember to breathe, you’re turning red, darling.”

Breathe? How can I breathe when I’m thinking about you dominating me in bed?

She forced air into her lungs, shocked to find out she really hadn’t been breathing for the last several seconds. Tristan traced a fingertip over her lips, his intense gaze following its path as though he was fascinated. Most men stared at a girl’s breasts, or her ass, but not him. When Tristan stared at her mouth, she felt like he was thinking of a thousand erotic things he could do to her lips, and the possibilities sent bolts of electric awareness through her, turning her into a sexual livewire.

“Can we not talk about sex?” she begged him and gently pushed his hand away from her mouth. She instantly missed his touch, but she knew she had to keep her head on straight to say what she needed to say.

“Why not?” His eyes narrowed slightly. “It happens to be one of my favorite things.”

She snorted. “I can tell, but it’s really distracting me, okay? And I need to be focused on school and classes and not…” She waved a hand between their bodies.

“I thought you liked me?” He seemed puzzled.

Kat blew out a frustrated breath. “That’s the problem! I like you too much. You’re bad for me, Tristan.”

With a responding laugh, he checked his watch, eyed her stack of books, and then winked at her. “Perhaps I am bad for you, but everybody needs a weakness now and then, a guilty pleasure. Otherwise life isn’t worth living. Now, why don’t you take the rest of the night off?
Live
a little.”

How did he know just what buttons to push? “Sleeping with you is living? Is that what you’re saying?”
Why do I have to sound so breathless as I say this?
Kat wanted to smack herself, but damn if her heart didn’t trip over a few beats at the thought of being in bed with him.

“I’m saying that what we could have is worth exploring, and one night of putting the books aside won’t do you any harm.”

Her focus fixed on the belt, noticing the silver buckle again. Was he seriously into kinky stuff? Kat hadn’t ever given thought to wild, edgy sex, but now that she was faced with Tristan and his belt, a flutter of excitement stirred in her belly.

“I suggest that you let me stay the night, and we get to know each other. Whatever happens, happens. But
you
will be in full control.”

She bit her lip.

Can I do this? Bind this man to my bed?
Her blood heated at the thought. If he couldn’t do anything, couldn’t overwhelm her, she would feel safe. His boldness, his natural domination excited her, but she was afraid of how much he affected her. Opening herself up to someone who could make her feel such strong emotions and have such strong physical reactions to was dangerous to her body…and her heart.

“One night, Kat. Give me one night to prove it’s worth whatever risks you think you must take. If you still have reservations in the morning, I’ll let you go your way and I’ll go mine.” The man’s smooth words and the curve of his sensual lips were tempting.

She felt like Eve staring at her reflection in the glossy, ruby red surface of an apple in the garden. Temptation.
Pure, wicked, temptation
. That was Tristan to his core.

Kat had never been tempted before, not like this. Nothing had ever broken through that carefully guarded fortress she’d built when her mother left. Yet this man, like mist, seemed to seep through the walls of stone and fill every part of her mind with thoughts, and her body with surging desires.

Kat nibbled her lip, sensing that neither of them could walk away now, not until they’d tried this.

She was afraid to ask how far it would go. One night in bed? One night of making love, or did he intend to go beyond that? Was he serious about seeing her again after this? Like actually dating? Her head told her no, that he wasn’t wanting anything more than to satisfy his own curiosity, but that little voice inside her heart whispered something entirely different.

What if he really does like me and wants to see if something between us could work? Sure he’s a rich, titled aristocrat, and I’m not, but what if we found a way to make none of that matter?

She wished she knew what his true intentions were. Until she did, everything inside her would be off balance, teetering on the edge of a cliff and praying she wouldn’t fall.

“If we do this—” she held up a hand to keep him from speaking “—and I say I’m not interested in you tomorrow morning, what happens then?”

He lowered the belt, a solemn expression darkening his eyes like summer storm clouds. “Then I walk away, but you have to honestly mean it.”

That should have relieved her, but a heavy weight settled on her shoulders, and a knot of anxiety grew in her chest, digging into her heart like a wild briar’s thorns. The truth was she didn’t want him to walk away. Ever since she’d had the courage to go up and stand next to him at the bar, and they’d talked, she’d felt comfortable around him and fascinated by him. He wasn’t just a gorgeous man with a sense of humor, he was also smart and deep. She could count on one hand the number of men she’d met with whom she could check all those boxes. A girl couldn’t just let a man like him walk away, not when everything about him felt so…
right
.

Taking a deep breath, she gave him a shaky nod. “Okay, let’s give this a try.”

Please don’t let this be a mistake.

Tristan’s lips curved. “Excellent.” He glanced at his watch. It looked expensive, with its black leather band and black onyx face with gold Roman numerals. Understated, elegant, and sexy. Like him.

Lacy had been right. He was the sort of man a woman actually melted from when they got too close to him. Like a beam of summer sunlight, he cut straight through Kat, heating her up from the inside with just a look or a twitch of those kissable lips.

“It’s getting late. I assume you have an early class tomorrow?”

She nodded. “History of the Russian Monarchy from 1400 to the Red Revolution.”

A little smile curled his lips. “Well, that would certainly wake me up in the morning,” he teased. “Why don’t you change into your pajamas. I’ll use the lavatory, and then we can get into bed.”

Kat stared at him, then at her bed. “This is so crazy,” she muttered before opening her dresser and grabbing a warm pair of cotton plaid pajama pants and a loose T-shirt. Not sexy, but she didn’t own anything sexy. Now she wished she had something sheer and silky…something that would make him kiss her again. She wanted to have what Lacy and Mark had, that pull to someone else that made it impossible to stay away from them. Drawn together by gravity.

“You really want to stay here?” she asked Tristan, clutching her pajamas and feeling silly that she hoped he would say yes.

Tristan took his time in answering as he walked up to her. She had to tilt her head back a little to look up into his penetrating blue-green eyes.

“A woman who tells something true about herself in the middle of a pub, who is brave enough to confess such a secret to a stranger, that’s a woman worth knowing. I want to be here, I want to know you, Kat. What makes you tick, what you think about, what your hopes and dreams are…you are fascinating to me.” He bit his bottom lip, as though almost puzzled at his own curiosity.

“Talking about butterflies and books doesn’t make me brave,” she argued, but her tone was soft. They were almost whispering, standing so close. She couldn’t seem to stay away from him, but did he feel that same way about her?

Tristan brushed his fingers through her hair, tucking one stray lock behind her left ear. “Do you know that I’ve never had a truly meaningful conversation with any woman aside from my cousin Celia or my mother? Not until you. What you’ve told me…it is brave to open yourself to someone else, and I don’t mean physically, although that’s certainly brave, too.” He chuckled.

“You really think I’m brave?” She wanted so badly to hear him say yes.

“I do. You’re incredible, Kat. You’re real in a way so many other women aren’t. I want to know you better. So yes, I’m staying the night.” He leaned his head down, and she waited eagerly for a kiss, but he nuzzled her cheek, and his hands settled on her shoulders, squeezing slightly.

When Kat rocked up on her toes, trying to kiss him, he pulled his face away, a dark cloud flashing across his eyes.

“If you kiss me, I’ll lose control, darling. I’ve promised to be on my best behavior, but if you do that again, all bets are off.”

The thought of him losing control always sent her heartbeat leaping. She was so nervous about having sex for the first time, but part of her trusted that Tristan might be the man to show her how wonderful it could be, if she was ready. Not tonight, but soon…

“I guess I should change…” She glanced down at her clothes then up at him.

“Of course.” His voice was low, slightly husky as he backed away from her and headed for the bathroom.

She waited for him to shut the door, but when he gazed at her a moment too long, she waved a hand at him.

“Go,” she said, rolling her eyes, “I’m not changing in front of you.”

With a wry chuckle, he shook his head. “I thought it might be worth a try.” Tristan winked and disappeared into her small restroom.

Kat scrambled out of her clothes and into the pj’s, not knowing how much time she had to change. But he took his time, and after she was dressed, she used the opportunity to study the gift he’d left on her desk. She picked up the box, weighing it in her hands. Was it
The Mysterious Island
? The box was the right size, and the weight seemed like it was possible. Kat gave it a little shake but whatever was inside didn’t shift or make any sound.

Drat!
She set it back down on the desk and folded her arms over her chest.

When he came back out, still in his jeans and sweater, he smirked at the sight of her sitting on the edge of the bed.