Forbidden Blood (Vampire Venators Romance Series) (31 page)

Neither of those things were what she wanted, but the thought of him being so damned commanding made her want to say them.

They would hurt him though. Even if she said them as a joke, retaliation against his possessive tone and the way he treated her as though she was already his to control, they would cut him deeply.

“Amber?” He drew back.

She dragged his mouth back down to hers and kissed him, trying to reignite the fire within her and stoke it back into the inferno it had been a moment ago.

He pulled away from her and broke free of her grasp. “You already despise me, don’t you?”

She cursed him for being stronger than her and being able to sense her feelings from her blood. Sometimes she wished she could turn off the connection as he could.

“No.” She caressed his cheek, and brushed his hair from his face, absorbing the soft look in his eyes and how handsome he was. “I don’t. Honestly. I just… maybe I don’t want kids.”

A faint smile touched his mouth. “Are you sure that is all?”

She hesitated and he frowned.

“Tell me,” he whispered and leaned down, peppering her face with kisses. “I can take it.”

“That’s just it… you take what you want. What about what I want?”

He drew back again and his eyes searched hers.

“I have hurt you.” There was a note of defeat in his voice and he moved off her and sat on the edge of the bed with his back to her, the cream duvet over his lap. “I am sorry if… I… I need you.”

He was sorry that he needed her? That wasn’t what he had wanted to tell her. Amber sat up and went to him, kneeling behind him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and locked her hands in front of his chest. Her breasts pressed against his back and she rested her chin on his right shoulder. He sighed and she ran her right hand down his arm, fingers tracing the silver markings, as she thought about what to say.

“I know you want to make me like you… and that I might not get much choice… but there are things we have to decide together and I’ve always been able to stand on my own two feet.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” His voice was a bare whisper.

She sighed. “I’ve seen the way men treat the women in your world. I… don’t think I can let you control me like that. I don’t want to be made to feel inferior to you.”

“Inferior?” He turned to face her so fast that his head hit hers. She grimaced and rubbed her forehead. His fingers eased hers away and he kissed the spot he had hurt, softly murmuring his apology against her skin.

She savoured the gentle way he held her and the love she could feel in the embrace, but drew away so she could see his face when he spoke. She had to see his feelings in his eyes as well as feel them in his blood.

“You are anything but inferior,” he said and stroked her face. “Duke Montagu was right that night at the ball. You are beautiful, and you rule the heart of this Noble. There is nothing I would not do for you, Amber. If you told me you did not want to become a vampire, I would fight my desire to make you one for the rest of my years.”

“You can’t fight it forever though or you wouldn’t have told me everything you did in the bathroom.”

“It is growing more difficult to resist my desire to claim you as forever mine.” He turned away again.

Amber leaned her head against his back and sighed.

“I meant what I said to you,” she whispered and he tensed. She grazed her fingers down his forearm and stared at the marks that danced across his skin. “I meant every word and every feeling the night of the ball. You’re so distant right now, so full of self-hatred and fear that what I’m about to say can’t possibly be your feelings this time. These are all mine, as they were that night. I’m not afraid of the future, Kearn, because I’ll be with you, and no matter what happens it will be worth it. I want you to stay with me forever.”

He sighed and took hold of her hands, holding them tightly.

“What are you afraid of?” he said in a quiet voice.

“I’m scared I’ll wake up the day after you’ve bitten me to find you acting like those men at the ball… I don’t want to be like those women… I don’t want you to discard me as though I mean nothing to you.” Tears lined her eyes but she didn’t let them fall. She took a deep breath to steady her emotions and closed her eyes. “Promise me that it won’t be like that.”

“Amber,” he breathed and she was in his arms, held close to his chest. She curled up against him, listening to the slow beat of his heart against her ear. The sound of it frightened her, a reminder that he wasn’t human that seemed more real than the eyes or the fangs. Would her heart beat so slowly if she became a vampire? She didn’t think she would be able to get used to feeling such a leisurely rhythm as her pulse, but she supposed it was better than no heartbeat at all. He pressed kisses to her hair and combed his fingers through her ponytail, chasing away her fear and soothing her. “Amber, it would never be like that. If you allowed me to bite you, I would cherish you more than I do now. I would dote on you and do everything in my power to make you happy. It is all I can do for you… my most precious Amber.”

She cursed him when tears tumbled down her cheeks and wiped them away with the heel of her hand. She didn’t want to cry. How could a man who had appeared so cold and emotionless at first be so full of warmth and love?

Drawing away from him, she placed her hands against his bare chest and looked into his eyes. The love in them was overwhelming. A love that would last forever. All she had to do was reach out and take what she wanted, just as he was willing to do.

She nodded and he frowned, clearly not understanding her.

“When the time comes,” she brushed the hair from his forehead, sweeping the silver lengths out of his eyes so he could see her properly when she took the leap, “I won’t stop you… I won’t be afraid. Not anymore.”

Her eyes widened when he grabbed her and pressed her down into the bed, his mouth capturing hers again. His rough passionate kiss stole her breath and fanned her desire back into life. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him, tangling her fingers in his hair and keeping his mouth against hers. The warm pulse of arousal beat through her. She rubbed her knees together in anticipation and ran her hands over his strong shoulders and down his spine. Every muscle shifted under her touch, speaking of his power and making her hum inside. She wanted to feel him against her, inside her. She wanted to show him how much she loved him and that she wasn’t afraid of him. She would give herself to him.

His lips left hers, trailing down her neck to her breasts. He palmed and kissed them, until she longed for his body and for completion. She lifted her leg, rubbing her calf against his buttocks, and clutched him to her breast. A low rumble echoed through him, causing his chest to vibrate against hers. He growled. She really did turn him into a beast.

Amber caught him under the chin and brought him up to her. She didn’t want to wait any longer. The fire had come back fast, burning through her, and only he could save her from it.

Kearn kissed her again and moved between her thighs. She moaned when he thrust his hard length against her groin, teasing her moist flesh.

“Say you will be mine,” he whispered against her mouth and the connection between them became clearer, so that she could feel everything he did. He needed her so much.

She needed him too.

“Always.” She raised her knee, trying to spur him into taking her. She was too hot, burning fiercely for him, to wait any longer.

He growled and shifted his hips back and then he was in her, deep and hard. The sting of pain was nothing compared to the feel of being one with him. She stilled beneath him, focused on the point where their bodies joined, and memorised the feel of him stretching her, filling her until she was content at last. He withdrew and thrust in again, as hard and demanding as his kisses. She didn’t care. She gave herself to him, wrapped her legs and arms around him, and let go.

Kearn growled again, loud against her face. He buried himself deeper and groaned with each meeting of their hips. Amber raised hers, letting him in further, opening herself to him fully. He slammed hard against her, his long length hot and rough inside her, the intensity of their coupling driving her out of control too, until she was moaning with him, clutching and kissing him, desperate for release and to feel him climax inside her.

He pulled her closer, one hand under her back, so their stomachs and chests pressed against each other. It was incredible. Each deep thrust of his hard length into her tore a groan from her throat and made her writhe in sheer maddening pleasure. Sweat beaded against her skin and her heart galloped. The strength of his thrusts had them both moving upwards and she pressed one hand against the headboard behind her, trying to anchor them as they spiralled together, soaring towards their climax.

Kearn’s grip shifted to her hips and he held her hard, pumped deeper with his hips, claiming her body as hungrily as he had claimed her blood.

She groaned and arched, screwed her eyes shut as the hot buzz built inside her, and her thighs tightened around him. Kearn kissed her and swallowed her moans. Her mind filled with their combined feelings and the sound of his heart beating, faster now, a pace that almost matched hers. He clung to her, fingers pressing into her flesh, and she sensed he was close, that he would come undone soon and would fall from the dizzying height of desire he had built them up to and slip into hazy bliss with her.

Kearn moved faster against her, curling his hips and driving himself deep into her warm core. She couldn’t take the way his pelvis brushed her sensitive flesh and his length teased. She tilted her head back, opened her mouth in a silent scream and shattered into pieces.

Her body quaked around his, milking him and encouraging him to release himself, to lay claim to her and change things between them forever.

He groaned into her ear, his pace quickening and turning frantic as she relaxed beneath him, floating on warmth and lost in the ecstasy of her release. She didn’t feel the pain of his grip on her hips or the roughness of his thrusts. She felt only pleasure and happiness, and a deep awareness of his feelings.

Kearn buried his face in her neck and slammed to a halt inside her. His hands trembled, clutching her hips, and his breath shook on her throat. She wrapped herself around him and held him gently while his body quivered, his length throbbing and spilling his seed within her.

He held her like that for long minutes, neither of them moving. She listened to his blood, to his emotions, and they echoed her own. She loved him. She stroked his hair and let him feel that within her blood, knowing that he needed it. The words were too difficult to say right now, but in time, she would find a voice for them and the right moment, and so would he.

For now, they could say it without words.

He relaxed on top of her, his breathing slowing and his heart calm again. She didn’t protest when he rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. His arms were steel bands around her telling her that he wouldn’t let her go even if she did try to move off him. If he was comfortable beneath her weight, then she was happy to sleep like this, tangled around him, her head on his chest and their bodies still joined as one.

Amber closed her eyes and listened to his heart beating.

Her heart.

She smiled.

She had won the heart of her Noble.

She would give hers in return.

Eternally.

CHAPTER 22

K
earn wasn’t quite sure how to act around Amber. He pottered about the living room of the lodge, flicking through one of the books he had found but not seeing any of the words on the pages, and occasionally glancing at her where she sat by the fire. It was cold in the stone lodge even though the night outside was warm, so he had brought wood in and lit the fire for her. The smile she had given him for doing such a thing had been dazzling. It seemed small things could count as much as big gestures. He had a lot to learn about women and how relationships worked if he was going to treat her the way she deserved.

He reined himself in. It wasn’t the time to become lost in her. Until he had sent the man to the eternal darkness, Amber wasn’t safe. He couldn’t afford to get complacent.

It still didn’t stop him thinking about what she had said. She might not want children. He supposed that it was as much her decision as it was his, but he had always imagined that he would have children, many of them. Two boys at least. Before he had become a Venator, it had been his duty to produce heirs to the dukedom of Savernake. After becoming a Venator, he had been too busy with his new duty and then he had been cast out of society. All hope of finding someone to spend his life with had disintegrated. He hadn’t thought about children after that and all that had been in his future was his calling. Now things were different and he found himself thinking about all sorts of things.

Not just what it would feel like to bite her, but what it had felt like to make love with her. He had tried hard to contain his strength, fearing that he would be too rough and would hurt her. She was strong for a human, but her body was frail compared to his. He would never have forgiven himself if he had injured her in any way. She had enjoyed it though. Her blood and her scent, everything had told him that she had been there with him in the moment, feeling nothing but sheer bliss at their coupling.

He had never been with a human before. Since the events that had led to him becoming a Venator, he had closed off his heart to women completely. Amber had forced it open again and shown him that there were people in the world capable of love deep enough that it transcended boundaries. And that he could love again.

He wanted to keep that feeling forever by making her immortal.

What would his family say to that? If he told them that he wanted to turn a human, they would see it as a lowly desire, one that would taint the pure lineage of his family.

He didn’t care. His family had cast him out. They had made it clear that he was no longer a part of them, and that meant they no longer governed him. They could think what they liked about him. All that mattered to him now was having Amber at his side eternally, and he wouldn’t hear a word against it or against her. He wouldn’t let anyone call her weak because she was a turned human and not a pureblood vampire, or attempt to harm her because of it. He would challenge them all and protect her. He would make them see that she was strong and deserved recognition as a Savernake.