Forbidden Broadway: Behind the Mylar Curtain (69 page)

BOTH

[Music continues as ANTHONY reveals his 16nnn
camera.]

ANTHONY

Close-up on Rent. We're in the East Village, looking
around for some misery to photograph. Cut to Avenue
B. Zoom down the street. No one is left.

ADAM

They've all moved to West 41st Street, where they are
now squatting in the rarely used Nederlander Theatre.

ANTHONY

Nederlander Theatre! flow are we going to get in
there?!?

ADAM

There's only one thing left to do!

BOTH

Check the "Lee-Brett-Toe."

ANTHONY

Zoom in on copy of an ancient text we found buried
under the crumbling marble of Lincoln Center.

ADAM

This "Lee-Brett-Toe" is a strange and wonderful book
of prophecy called ...

BOTH

L.A. Bo-heerne.

ANTHONY

It tells us what the hell is going on in this show.

ADAM

And what happens next.

ANTHONY

Check scene two.

ADAM

It says we have a "Breaking Back Into the Theatre
Party" tonight.

ANTHONY

Yesssssss!!!

BOTH

ANTHONY

[Reading from the libretto.]

Scene three. Daphne Rubin-Vega plays Mimi. In
Boheme, she's a sweet, shy seamstress. Now she's a
nymphomaniac crack-head prostitute! YEAH!

[DAPHNE RUBIN-VEGA leaps onto the stage.]

"Ouch, They're Tight!"

DAPHNE

Meow!!!!!

[Third chorus.[

[She strikes a pose, and we hear the loud sound of her
pants splitting.)

"Too Gay 4 U"

ANGEL