Forbidden To Love (The Erosians) (19 page)

“
I'm sorry, she just got to me. This isn’t a celebration, and I don’t care what her problem is with you. I wouldn’t even wish the Underworld on her, so she shouldn’t be so pleased that there’s a chance you could end up there.”                                                                                     “No, I get that, but what did you just do to her? I thought we were Goddesses of love - our only powers being to join people - not that we could tear holes into them just by staring at them.” Allana sighs but I can’t let this go. Is there more to my powers than I know? Could I possess something that could help me fight Eros?                                                                                                                 “I suppose there’s no harm in telling you everything now; you know my powers are the same as Eros’. Amora has the same ability as you. She can knit auras together, but she’s also gained the ability to manipulate mortals' thoughts to start love, or sometimes war when she’s in a spiteful mood.”                             Allana looks at me, to see if I'm following her. I nod. “Well, as you get more experienced, you gain more powers. Already your ability to hear mortal voices, no matter what distance has advanced so you can probably hear younger Gods voices too. At my experience level, I can not only channel the love of people around me and create matches, but I can also tap into the hate surrounding people.”                                           I look at her my eyes wide with shock. “So we start out as the Gods of love but somehow become the Gods of hate?” I ask, still unsure. Allana nods and shakes her head at the same time.
“In a way but the better way to see our powers is we are the Gods of raw emotion. Love is just the easiest one to see and control. Mortals really do wear their hearts on their sleeves.” She smiles a real smile which reaches her eyes, the first one I’ve seen for a while.              “When you get to my level, the auras aren’t one colour, they’re more like a rainbow, and you can pick and choose the strands of emotions you play with. What you just saw me do to Amora was use her hatred towards you and reflect it back on her.”                                           I start to shake. “So you can, and Eros can, do that to both Gods and mortals?”                                                         “Yes and Amora can now do it to mortals, so it won’t be long until she can do it to Gods. I bet if you tried you’d be able to manipulate the thoughts of mortals like the rest of us can. No one tells you when your powers mature you just need to try to do the more advanced things”                                                                       I sit quietly absorbing this new information. Perhaps I can manipulate mortal’s thoughts. I’ve never actually tried. I was waiting for Allana to show me. I got on with knitting auras easily enough, so I was in no hurry to move on from there.                                                         “If you don’t try and move on from there you’ll never advance in your skills.” My mouth drops open “You can read my mind too.”                                                         “Of course to master the ability of manipulating thoughts, you need to be able to hear them. I’ll show you how to put up a better shield once the Eros situation has been sorted.”                                                                       “Do you think I’ll still be here for you to train?” Allana reaches over and wraps her arms around the tops of mine. “I hope so, Acacia, I really do.”
I nod. I know she can’t give me a yes, but maybe I can give myself one if I can speed up learning these new powers.                                                                                                   “Does Amora really hate me that much?” She must contain a lot of hatred towards me, for Allana to do that to her, and if she has that amount of hatred, how much has Eros reserved for me?                                           “Don’t worry. When you start to see the other colors of an aura, and you can work on the Gods, I’ll teach you what you can do with them.”                                           “Thanks, but can Eros do to me what you just did to Amora?” Allana’s face pales and that’s all the confirmation I need. I nod silently at her and get up to leave as she weaves her fingers into her hair and grips so tightly her knuckles go white. I wince as the sobs she has been fighting back break through.                                           I go up to my room needing to be alone. I’ve got so much to try and process. I sit at my white painted dressing table on the intricately carved stool and stare out of my French windows. The sun is low in the sky. It must be getting towards late afternoon. I haven’t even eaten since breakfast, not that it matters.                                                                                                   Oh no lunch with Josh! I grab my school bag up off the floor and scramble around for my phone. One message, oh hell! How could I have done this to him? He’s going to think I'm avoiding him again. I unlock my phone and press read. “Hey, Cacia, not sure where you are give me a call when you get this j x.” I didn’t mean to stand him up.                                                                                     My phone buzzes in my hand, another message.

“
Hey angel it’s Josh again not wanting to take your crown of stalker away from you but could you let me know you’re ok? You never showed up at lunch, and I didn’t see you in last period either j x. “                                           I would give anything to call him and go back to our private beach. One kiss from Josh and I know I wouldn’t care about any of this. If he’s holding me in his arms, I wouldn’t be bothered about Eros, or the Underworld, or Amora and her venomous threats. I seriously need to work on my powers so I can use the God’s emotions to help me, the possibilities of what I could do.                                                                                                   I could end Eros and be free. We’d all be free. I'm defenseless now, though. Eros can already do what I saw Allana do, and she said it won’t be long until Amora has the same power. I’ll be totally outnumbered. I should definitely figure out shielding as soon as I can. I just hope there’s some way of shielding my body as well as my mind.
Intruder
~15~
It’s Thursday night. I’ve been in this house since Monday afternoon when I raced home from school to find Allana almost in tears and Amora almost in heaven. I've been stood out on my balcony huddled up in my thick purple blanket, not to keep me warm as I don’t feel the cold, but I feel a bit more protected wrapped up. I'm not sure what a purple throw would do against the powers of the Underworld immortals if they came for me, but hey any defense is better than none.

I look out onto our garden, which is pretty much all lawn till the back where a small collection of trees merges, into one another. The moonlight beams down onto them casting eerie grey shadows that stretch out onto the grass, like demons clawing their way towards our house. I shiver. There could soon be demons clawing their way to our
house to drag me to my fate.

It
’s too spooky out here. I thought coming to gaze at the stars would take my mind off Josh. I haven’t received a single message or phone call from him since that last one on Monday afternoon. I bet he’s probably got himself a new date for the ball too. I tried to convince Allana that my going was a good idea that I’d be there strictly in a professional manner to create romance, that’s all, not to pursue my own interests, but she wouldn’t agree to it.

She thought it would be too dangerous because I would be too close to Josh. I spent an hour pointing out to her that if I made enough matches I might be reprieved of all this for good
behavior. My plan didn’t work though. Amora was listening, and she almost choked on her own hysterics.

I managed to create myself a beautiful dress as well. I found an old corset in the back of my wardrobe. It
’s gold with a lace overlay that’s interspersed with crystals. Then I took a dark gold silk sheet that used to cover the end of my bed, I pleated it together at the top, hemmed the bottom to create a full skirt. After sewing the two together, I had a beautiful gown I couldn’t wait to wear but now I’ll be waiting a long time if I ever get to wear it at all.
I jump at a rustling at the bottom of the garden where the trees are. Must be a cat or something; nothing immortal would take the time to skulk in the shadows. Even so I start to tremble slightly as my hands subconsciously climb to my neck and run along the swollen bruises that are taking longer to go down than I thought.

The rustling gets louder. I squint trying to get a clearer look as a darker shadow starts to emerge onto the grass, growing larger until it overtakes all of its companions and creeps gradual
ly closer to the house.

Eros must have sent someone for me. He
’s probably been watching the house waiting for me to be alone, so neither Allana nor Amora would be able to help me, not that Amora would bother to try.

I reach behind to grab the door handle so I can escape back into my room. The night air encircles my body as my b
lanket falls to the ground.

The shadow is getting closer to the house as the figure comes out from the trees. I find the door handle and push it down, ready to swing the door open and run inside.
“Acacia,” a voice whispers. “Acacia,” it calls again. I release my grip on the handle and tread slowly back towards the edge of my balcony, drawn there by the voice.

With each step, I shake as I walk closer to the edge. What if this is the end? What if the figure jumps up and grabs me t
he minute it recognizes me?

I tentatively place my foot down, taking me inches closer to meeting my fate. I chew on my lip and suck in as much air as I can in case it
’s my last. Reaching out, I grab the lip of the balcony to steady myself as I look up to the stars, praying to I don’t know who that whatever happens to me is over quickly and as pain-free as possible - then I peer over onto the garden.

It
’s empty. There’s no one there; the figure has gone, I lean over further and scan left to right up and down the length of the lawn, and no one. What the …. ?

What if it
’s gone inside? I push myself as far over the balcony as I can so I can see the kitchen window and back door. They’re both still shut, and I know they’re locked.

“
Looking for me?” a voice to my right asks. I fall back against the side of the wall. It’s here, whatever it is. It’s here, and I'm done for.

I scramble backwards on the floor, so I
’m pressing myself into the corner to try and hide as much of my body as I can. I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and use my arms to shield the parts of me that are still exposed to my attacker.

“
Please don’t hurt me,” I manage to cry while I fight against my tears. All my strength and courage has left me. I'm backed into a corner with no escape.

“
Acacia, it’s me. Josh.” I feel a warm hand pressing on my arm. The comfort I feel from the touch doesn’t match the tension in the voice I hear. I don’t believe it could be him. “Are you ok?”

I open my eyes slowly this must be one of the other God
’s tricks. I know they can morph into animals, so I'm sure some can change into humans. But it is Josh. He’s here. I throw myself into his arms. He easily embraces me. I thought the force of me lunging at him would’ve knocked him over, but he stays steadfast, crouching, cradling me.
 

“
I came to check you were ok. You never replied to my messages, and I haven’t seen you at school.” He pushes my shoulders gently, so I lean away from him slightly, allowing him to see my face. I quickly wipe my tears of relief away.

“
I did reply. I didn’t receive any more messages after that.” I break down into tears again, they probably blocked my phone so I couldn’t receive his messages.

“
Don’t worry. I just needed to see you were alright.”He kisses the top of my head lightly and strokes my hair. I was right - Josh holding me in his arms does take all the pain away and gives me strength I didn’t know I had.

“
Thank you for coming. I’ve missed you,” I say into his chest, but my words don’t come out clearly as I'm pressing myself further into his body.

“
I’ve missed you too,” he responds, holding me tighter. I pull back from him so I can look into his eyes and remind myself why I need to fight against Eros. The moonlight is casting shadows across his face heightening the definition of his features, highlighting how heart-stoppingly attractive he truly is. I run my fingers across his jaw line, stopping when I get to his lips, desperate to feel their warmth on mine.                             “I really missed you so much, Acacia. I’ve never felt the feelings I do for you before. It’s like you’re not of this world, the effect you have on me.”                                           I hold his gaze wanting to let him know I feel everything just as much as he does and that I’ve never felt anything like this before either. I can’t risk speaking the words for fear that more sobs will erupt, and I don’t want to ruin this moment with tears.
I don’t need to though. My face must tell him all he needs. He presses his lips against mine and all the built-up emotion I’ve had bubbling away inside me spills over as his kiss breaks down all my inhibitions. I don’t even possess the strength to hold myself up. I allow my body to give into him. As he lays me down onto the floor, his body follows mine until he is resting perfectly on top of me. I run my fingers up his back and hold him closer as his lips leave mine and kiss the length of my neck. His hand searches down my waist and finds my hip. He snakes his arm around and pulls me into him. I raise my leg and hitch it over his hip, and his kiss becomes more ferocious as he finds his way back to my mouth.                                                                       “Wait, wait,” he whispers as I run my own hands down his chest till I reach the waist band of his jeans. “Not here like this when you are so upset.” He pulls my hands from where they’ve latched themselves onto the buckle of his belt and holds them to his mouth, kissing the backs of them gently.                                           “I was only upset because I hadn’t seen you. I thought you’d given up on me.” He sits down at my side, wrapping his arms around my shoulders and turning me towards him, so my head rests on his chest.              “I’ve only just got you. I'm not about to give up on you now”                                                                                                   And I can’t give up on him. Maybe after the dance tomorrow we could just take off together. I can sneak out of here and meet him there. We can get in his car and drive where no one knows us and no one is trying to split us up, kill us or banish either one of us to the Underworld. I could tell him everything, and he’d understand. He’s already promised he’d never let anything happen to me. I know he wouldn’t break that promise, and we could be happy together.
“So why haven’t you been in school?” he breaks into our silence.                                                                                                   I look up at him unsure how to answer. “Things are complicated”                                                                                     “Ah, are you going to be in school tomorrow?” I bite my lip and shake my head, too scared to open my mouth in case I betray any of my secrets.                                           “So we won’t be going to the dance together, then?” The way he says those words makes it sound more like a statement than a question.                                           “No, we are if you still want me to that is”               “Do you even need to ask that question?” He smiles down at me. “I want you to go to the dance with me, I want you to come to school with me, in fact, I want to spend every moment there is with you.” I brush away the hair that has fallen over my face so I can look at him clearly, he returns my gaze, but his eyes fall onto my neck.                                                         “What happened?” He sits us both up and scrapes all my hair from my neck as he takes in the reminder that Eros is still very much a threat to us.              “Acacia what happened?” he asks again, the urgency rushing through in his words. I watch as his eyes turn hard as he examines the strips of crimson staining my neck.                                                                                     “I can’t talk about it.” I can’t look at him whilst I knowingly keep another secret back from him. I await his anger but instead he threads his arms around my chest and pulls me closer to him.                                                         “Why do I feel if I let you go now I’ll never hold you again?” he breathes softly. I turn my face into his shoulder to silence the fresh new wave of tears that pours from my eyes. He strokes my hair, and we sit silently. He has no more questions to ask, and I’ve never had any answers to give.                                                         Our breathing falls into a rhythm, and our hearts beat in sync. I lay against him as we both watch the stars twinkling above and I'm only vaguely aware that Allana or Amora could return at any second and I’d be well and truly busted.                                                         Josh, though, must feel the risk too as he starts to move against me. I push myself off of him, giving him room to move, but his hands grip onto the back of my vest so I can’t move too far from him.                                           “I really don’t want to leave, Acacia. I know you can’t tell me where you got those marks from, but I can stay if it would make you feel better. I know I’d sleep easier if I had you in my arms keeping you safe.”              I chew on my lip as his hands stroke each of the marks on my neck. His face becomes harder, and I can see the fire burning in his eyes, but his touch remains gentle and soothing.                                                                                     “If they found you here the situation would become a hundred times worse.” I place my hand over his and press my cheek against it. He flips his palm, so he is holding my face.                                                         “These marks, are they because of me?” I shake my head; they’re not because of him, they’re because I was too selfish to stay away from him.                                           “No, they’re not. My family has a complicated history with relationships and, well, I'm not making things any better.”                                                                                     “I swear whoever has done this to you will pay.
I can see you’re afraid of them. That’s who you thought was climbing up to your balcony, wasn’t it? Well I'm not leaving, not if they can get to you here.” I graze my finger tips across his cheek.
“Josh there’s nothing you can do. I really wish you could stay here with me, but you need to leave. I’ll be back with you tomorrow night, and if you’ll have me, I’ll stay with you forever. I don’t ever have to come back here.”                                                                                                   His face lights up. “Nothing could make me happier than knowing you will be mine forever. I’ll go now if that will make things easier for you, but you call me if you need me for anything, whatever time it is, I don’t care.” I nod and smile, my heart alight with the thought of our future.                                                                       “I'm guessing you’re not going to want me to come fetch you from here tomorrow, though.” He nods towards the house.                                                                                     I hadn’t thought of that. How am I going to get out? “No, I'll sneak out,” I say more to myself than him. I assess the outside of my house, trying to figure out how Josh climbed up here, wonder if I can use the same way to get down? Probably not going to be that easy in a ball gown!                                                                       “You want me to pick you up from the café round the corner about seven?”                                                         That should work. “Yes.” My cheeks begin to ache from the size of my smile.                                                         Everything is perfect, more than perfect, but I know the minute Josh leaves it’s all going to be dreadful again.                                                                                     Josh grins at me and pulls me against his body. All too soon he whispers, “I should go.”                                           “I know.” But neither of us moves. It’s going to be less than twenty-four hours till I see him again, but it feels as if this is goodbye. If everything goes to plan, this will be our last night apart. At this moment, it feels like our last night together.
Josh takes hold of each of my hands, and we stand up together. I rest my hands on his hips as he cups my chin with his fingers to tilt my face upwards, so I’m looking into his eyes.                                                                       “Good night, though parting is such sweet sorrow that I shall say good night till it be morrow,” he whispers, and his lips press against mine so lightly.               I close my eyes wishing this would never end. My lips suddenly become cold. I open my eyes, and Josh has gone. I rush to the edge of the balcony and look down onto the garden, but he’s nowhere to be seen.                                                                                                                 I touch my lips, yearning for them, to still be warm from his kiss, just like I wish my body was still protected by his. I go back into my room and lock the doors. It’s late, and I should sleep. I’d like to be able to sleep until seven o'clock tomorrow night when I can be back with him. Instead, I’ve got a whole stretch of nothingness in front of me.