Read Forever and Almost Always Online
Authors: Amanda Bennett
Her hands reached for my face, pulling it up to look at her. “Dax, you could never fail me. The way you love me, makes this the place for me. We could be in a cardboard box, and I would
still
love you and you
still
wouldn’t have failed me.”
I held back the balloon of emotions threatening to burst inside of me. I just lightly pressed my lips against hers, and rolled onto my side behind her, pulling her deeply into my chest. “I love you, Charlee.”
“I love you too, Dax. Forever and always, well
almost
always.” She laughed and I knew in that moment, I had found my other half.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Charlee
I made it a point to find a job as soon as I could. It wasn’t hard. I ended up finding a manager position at a tanning salon close to the apartment, and I couldn’t wait to get home to tell Dax all about it. Unfortunately, when I walked up the stairs to our apartment, I found much more than I had bargained for.
I could clearly hear Dax’s voice as I reached the top of the landing, and instead of walking towards his voice; I stood around the corner and listened as much as I could.
“Look Rachael, I don’t know why you came here, but you need to leave before she gets home.”
“Why, so you can keep on playing house with her and pretending that you don’t think about me, while you fuck her at night?”
“How dare you. You have no clue about my relationship with her. You need to leave and let whatever you think we had, go. I told you a long time ago that I was done. Now please leave.”
I wasn’t sure if the conversation was over between the two of them yet, but I decided to take my chances. I turned the corner and walked straight for the brunette bitch that was standing there, trying to stake claims on
my
boyfriend. I could see the look of complete and utter shock, as Dax turned and looked in my direction. I knew he didn’t know what to expect from me, or what I would say given the circumstances and what he was dealing with. It was comforting to know that I could still surprise him without trying.
“You need to leave our home. Dax has made it pretty clear and now I’m making it clear. If you don’t leave right this second, I’ll make sure that you don’t make it anywhere for a very long while.”
The brunette bitch had the audacity to look at me as though I was crazy. Who the fuck did she think she was? She came to
my
house to convince
my
boyfriend that they had something, but I wasn’t one to back down. Not when it came to someone I love.
“Did you not hear me? Do I need to repeat myself?” I was now standing between her and Dax, waiting for some sort of answer from her, but all I got was a nasty look and then she walked away. I closed my eyes as she disappeared, took in a cleansing breath, and then turned to confront my boyfriend.
“Before you say anything, please let me explain.” He pleaded.
“Honestly Dax, I’m not sure I want to hear your explanation right now. Let’s just go inside before anybody else comes out to see the crazy girl yelling at some random chick.” I patted him on the chest, and then made my way into our apartment and straight to the bathroom. I didn’t
need
a shower, but at the moment it was
exactly
what I wanted. I locked the door and slipped into the hot steam filled shower. I let the water rush over every inch of my body, as I let the tears threatening to fall, slip down my cheeks. I wasn’t exactly sure why I was crying, but the release felt so damn good.
When I was done throwing myself a little pity party, I emerged from the bathroom with my clothes back on, sans underwear. I knew Dax, and I knew that he would want to fix the situation with sex, and we were getting to the point where sex wasn’t going to fix anything anymore. Dax was sitting on the edge of the bed with his head in his hands. I wasn’t exactly sure what
he
was so upset about, but I was willing to be the bigger person in this situation.
I sat down next to him, trying not to reach out for him, trying not to comfort him. “Who was that, Dax?” He let out a loud sigh as he pushed his hands back through his hair. I knew he was aggravated and to the point where he wasn’t willing to talk, but I needed him to talk to me. “Dax, who was that?”
“Her name is Rachael, Charlee. I used to date her a while back. Do we seriously need to get into this right now?”
“When would you like to get into it, Dax? When would be best for
you
?” I stood up and began pacing in front of our bed.
“It’s not what you think.”
“I honestly don’t know what to think, Dax. She was at your old house once before and you got all weird, and now she’s showing up at our apartment? What the hell?”
“Look, I’m sorry Charlee. I really am. I wish I could tell you what you want to hear, but I don’t know what that is.”
I threw my hands up in the air in aggravation, “I just want you to tell me the truth, damn it.”
“I GOT HER PREGNANT! FUCK ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?” He threw his hands in the air and started heading for the door.
“NO! No, you don’t get to fucking leave, after that. You’re going to sit down and tell me what the fuck that even means.” I braced myself in front of the door, willing him to turn around. When he got closer with no intent on slowing down, I knew it was a lost cause.
“Move out of the way, Charlee.”
“No.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stood my ground.
“Charlee, I swear to god I will move you myself if you don’t get out of my way.”
“I’M.NOT.MOVING.”
Within seconds, I was up in the air and he was setting me back down on the other side of him, as he slammed the door. I grabbed the closest thing to me and chucked it at the door. Before I got too pissed off, I quickly searched for my phone and dialed Taylor.
“Hey hun, what’s up?” I hated to ruin her good mood that she seemed to be in, but this couldn’t wait.
“Are you busy?”
“No. What’s wrong? You sound upset.”
“Can you come over? You can bring Katie with you, but I really need you, Tay.”
“Okay honey, I’m on my way.”
“Thanks, Taylor.”
I paced around the apartment for the next thirty minutes, before Taylor and Katie finally showed up. The minute she walked through the door, I lunged into her arms and let the tears flow.
“Char, what happened?”
I pulled back, bringing her with me to sit on the bed. “He got her pregnant, Taylor. He fucking got her pregnant.”
“Who? Who the fuck did he get pregnant?”
I was crying so hard that my entire body was shaking and I was finding it hard to catch my breath.
“Charlee, calm down and talk to me. Please talk to me.”
I could hear the worry in her voice and it immediately forced me to take a deep breath. “That girl Rachael. The one that was at his house the night of the party.”
“When did this happen? I’m totally confused.”
I glanced over at Katie who was quietly sitting in the corner playing with my jewelry. My thoughts consumed me as I watched her laughing and playing. I had imagined Dax’s life and mine together in the long run. I pictured our wedding, and what our kids would look like, but not once had I ever factored in a child that wasn’t ours, into the perfect picture I had set up for myself.
“Charlee, talk to me.”
“I don’t know, Taylor. I’m just as confused as you are. When I got home earlier, I saw a girl standing in our doorway talking to Dax. I stood back a few feet to try and hear what they were talking about. They were fighting. He kept telling her to leave, and she insisted that he thought about her every time he slept with me. Finally, I told her to leave and she did, but then Dax was extremely pissed off. I tried to talk to him. I pushed for him to tell me what the deal was, but he shut down like he always does. I finally pushed him too far, and he just screamed it at me. After that, he took off. I have no answers, no idea what the hell is going on, and worst of all, I don’t even know where he went. For all I know, he called her to come pick him up. What do I do, Taylor?”
Her arms were suddenly around me, squeezing me tight. When Taylor didn’t know what to say, she hugged. It was comforting, given what I was dealing with, but I needed her to talk this out with me. I needed someone to try and knock some sense into me. I hugged her back, letting the remaining tears run down my face as I silently cried on her shoulder. In a matter of minutes my perfect little life had been shattered, and I was left to pick up the pieces, alone.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Dax
I never intended for Charlee to find out about Rachael, and especially not in this way. I knew I needed to explain to her the situation, but there was no way I could do that with her berating me. I needed time. Time to get my thoughts straight, so I could provide her with all of the answers she sought.
I didn’t have anywhere to go when I left. Charlee was the only one with a car right now, and I hadn’t grabbed her keys on the way out. So I walked. I walked at least two miles, before I decided to turn back and try to explain this fucked up mess to Charlee. All I could think about the entire way back to the apartment, was how I could make this up to her. I needed Charlee and if I lost her now, I wasn’t sure how I would go on.
When I walked through the back parking lot, I noticed Taylor’s car parked next to Charlee’s, and I knew I was gonna have my work cut out for me. Taylor and Charlee were like sisters. They had a bond that nobody could break, and if I was on Charlee’s bad side, then I was on Taylor’s as well. I took my time making my way up to the apartment. I wanted to give her time, but I also knew that once Charlee got in her head, it was hard to pull her back out. She had a habit of over analyzing things and always thinking the worst, but I couldn’t really blame her for that. She had been burned so many times in the past by her ex, and I didn’t want to be lumped into the same category as that asshole.
As I approached the door, I could hear her crying through the cracked window. Hearing her
that
upset, was literally breaking my heart. I hated being the one that made her feel that way, and I was determined for this to be the very last time. When I opened the door, Katie, Taylor’s daughter came running at me and immediately clung to my leg.
“Dax. Hi, Dax. Where have you been?”
I bent down and picked Katie up in my arms. “Hey sweet girl. Uncle Dax just needed to go for a walk. Whatcha been up to?”
“Playing with Aunt Charlee’s necklaces while she talks to mommy.”
“Oh, I see. Well you look very pretty.” I set Katie back down in front of Charlee’s jewelry box and turned in the direction of where Taylor and Charlee were sitting at the end of the bed.
“Taylor, I need to speak to my girlfriend. Can you guys leave and give us some time?”
I could tell by the look on Taylor’s face, that she was pissed. I didn’t want any more issues than what was already going on, but this really didn’t concern her. After two minutes of her giving me the death stare, she turned to Charlee and whispered something in her ear as she hugged her. She quickly gathered up Katie, and then they were gone.
I didn’t make a move towards Charlee. I knew better. Instead, I stood against the dresser across from her and searched her face for some semblance of compassion, but found none. She wouldn’t look at me, and it was killing me.
“Charlee, can I explain to you what’s going on?” When she didn’t answer me or get up and walk out, I continued. “Look, I need you to know that this didn’t happen while we were together. I never and would never cheat on you. I’m not a cheater. A few months before I met you, I had been dating Rachael. I met her through some of my friends, but it was never serious. One night at a party at Trevor’s house, we had a little too much to drink and, well, we ended up having unprotected sex. I didn’t know about the pregnancy, until I had already broken things off with her.” I glanced up from the spot I was staring at on the carpet at my feet, to see how she was reacting to all of this. She was still sitting in the same position, staring at the ground. I took this as a good sign though, and prayed that she was actually listening to me.
“She didn’t even tell me herself. She told Trevor, but only after she swore she got an abortion. She-“
“How did you not know before that?” Her voice was cracking as she spoke, and all I wanted to do was run to her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go.
“I swear to you, Charlee. I didn’t know. I told you, I had broken things off with her. We hadn’t had any contact what so ever. When Trevor first told me, I didn’t even believe her. It was only after I called her that she finally admitted that she was still pregnant and never got the abortion.”
“Dax?”
“Yes, Charlee?”
“Is she still pregnant?”
I knew the answer she wanted to hear, but I couldn’t honestly give her that answer, because in all honestly, I didn’t know. “I don’t know.”
“What do you mean, you don’t know?”
I could hear her voice rising as she started getting more upset. “The night she came over to the house, I was shocked to see her. I knew she was pregnant at that point, but she promised me that she was taking care of it.”
Charlee was suddenly on her feet, and making her way towards the kitchen. I knew her purse was in there and that her car keys were in her purse. My heart was racing at the thought of her walking out on me, even though I had done it to her. “Charlee, please don’t leave. We need to talk about this.”
She was quickly in my face. “I
know
we need to talk about this. You think I don’t know that? But I was ready to talk about this when it first happened, and
you
walked out on
me.
Well, now it’s my turn. I’m going to go to my mom’s house for a little bit. I’ll be back later and when I get back, I need you to have answers for me, or I’m walking. Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”
I tried to swallow past the large lump in my throat, but it was difficult to even breathe. I needed her to stay. I needed her to talk this out with me. We needed to be okay. I couldn’t lose her, not over something like this.