Forever Black (8 page)

“Fine
Miss Lane, if you say so,” he sighed.

“I
do say so and if Mr. Black has a problem with it, then I will deal with him.”

I
took off my shoes and carried them as my feet hit the soft warm sand. The ocean
looked beautiful at night with the moonlight shining down, illuminating each
wave that pushed its way to the shore. I threw my shoes down and ran to the
edge of the water. I laughed as the cold water stung my feet making me feel
alive and exhilarated. The peaceful sound of the waves lapping against the
shore and the sweet smell of the salt water was enough to let me escape into a
world of my own, a world I created. I was enjoying the serenity of my world
when I heard, “What the hell do you think you are doing?” I sighed for I knew
all too well that angered voice. I turned my head to see Connor standing a few
feet away from me.

“What
are you doing here Connor; don’t you have things to wrap up?” I considered the
possibility that his wrapping something up involved sex and the tall beautiful
woman.

“I’m
here because you didn’t make it home and forced my driver to disobey my orders,”
his voice sounded angry.

“Well,
it was such a beautiful night, and I wanted to be here; it’s my favorite place.”

“There’s
a time and place for here Ellery and now is neither.”

“I’m
sorry you feel that way, but I’m not done here yet, and I’m not leaving.”

He
raised his voice, “Ellery Lane let’s go.”

Who
the fuck does this man think he is? “Don’t be so grouchy and if you want me to
go then you will have to catch me,” I laughed as I started running down the
beach.

“For
fuck sake Elle, you’re pissing me off,” he yelled as he started chasing after
me.

I
turned my head and looked behind me as he was catching up; I swear I saw a
small smile escape his lips. He was a good runner, but he had an advantage, he
wasn’t wearing a long dress. I started to run out of breath and slow down as he
came up from behind me, picked me up and put me over his shoulder. I kicked and
screamed, “Put me down Connor Black.”

“Not
a chance, you will just run again, and I’m done playing games.”

Out
of breath I said, “I won’t I promise, anyway I’m out of breath if you couldn’t
tell.”

He
gently put me down, and I sat on the sand. He looked down at me shaking his
head as I held out my hand for him to sit next to me.

“I’m
not sitting in the sand in this tuxedo.”

“Live
a little Connor, life is too short,” I said as I stared out into the moonlit
water. He sighed and sat down next to me.

We
sat in silence for a moment, and I was feeling somewhat emotional; I’m blaming
the wine, when I started to speak.

“It
was my sixteenth birthday when I was diagnosed with cancer.” I felt him look at
me as I just stared ahead listening to the whispers of the ocean. “Hey, happy
sweet sixteen, guess what, you have cancer.” I felt the tears starting to sting
my eyes.

Connor
took my hand and whispered, “You do not have to do this.” I would not look at
him because if I stared into his beautiful green eyes I would have lost it. I
proceeded with my story.

“I
could not bear the thought of my father having to go through that torture and
pain again like he did with my mother, so I decided I was going to spare him
from having to.

“Ellery,”
he whispered as he leaned closer to me.

“He
was going out on one of his drinking binges, and I knew he wouldn’t be home
till the middle of the night, if at all, so that was my opportunity to put my
plan into action. I filled the bathtub with hot water, laid back and took a
razor blade to both my wrists.” I heard him take in a sharp breath as he was
gently rubbing my scar with his thumb.

“Can
you believe it was the one night he forgot his wallet and came back to the
house; talk about fate right? He found me and called 911. I almost didn’t make
it; I had lost so much blood.”

Connor
didn’t say a word, but he didn’t have to; I could tell he was choked up.

“I
guess God had other plans for me. I went through a year of chemo and went into
remission. I was given a second chance at life, and for that I’m grateful. Like
I said yesterday, I was young and stupid, and I made a terrible mistake.”

Connor
let go of my hand, put his arm around me and pulled me into him. I rested my
head on his shoulder. He was firm, and it felt good to be held.

“That
is why you have this overwhelming need to help others isn’t it?” he asked as he
lightly kissed the top of my head. “You’re a good person Ellery Lane,” he
whispered in my ear.

I
smiled and closed my eyes. I felt his strong arms pick me up as he carried me
across the sand and to his car, which was not his Limo, it was a Range Rover.
He carefully laid me in the front seat as I stirred; he whispered, “Sleep
angel.”

He
pulled up to my apartment, opened my purse to find my keys then carried me to
the door. My arms were tightly wrapped around his neck. He inserted the key
into the lock and lightly kicked the door open with his foot. He carried me to
the bedroom and laid me gently on the bed. I was somewhat aware of what he was
doing, but I was too exhausted to move.

 He
covered me with a blanket and brought the back of his hand to my cheek as he
softly rubbed it, “Sleep well angel and sweet dreams.”

The
next morning was a work day, and I did not have to be there till noon. I dragged
my ass out of bed and got out of my evening gown. I was thankful he didn’t
undress me, ok maybe I wanted him to because the moments we shared on the beach
was something I never wanted to forget. I felt something change in him last
night.

I
stood under the hot water and let it overtake me. I couldn’t stop thinking
about Connor and how sweet and gentle he was with me last night. I exposed my
deepest secret to him, and now regret was settling in. I should not have shown
him that side of me; it was too dangerous. I dressed in my leggings and long
tunic top, put my hair up in a ponytail and headed to the kitchen to make some
coffee. I couldn’t shake the feeling of stupidity for telling him; sometimes I
just do not know when to keep my mouth shut.

As
I waited for the coffee to brew, I went in my purse and grabbed my phone; there
was a text message from Connor.

“Hi,
I hope you slept well, I just wanted to see if you were up and how you were
feeling.”

A
small smile escaped me as I replied,
“Good morning, I slept good and I’m
feeling fine, thank you for your concern. I hope you have a terrific day and don’t
work too hard.”

“I’m
glad you are feeling fine, and I always work hard, it’s why I’m as successful
as I am.
”

“I
believe that and thank you for taking care of me last night, I owe you one!  

“Consider
it repayment for when you got me home safe. I have a meeting TTYL.”

“Bye.”

I
poured some coffee into a mug that read: “I’m not gay, but my ex-boyfriend is,”
compliments of Peyton. I walked over at the desk that housed my laptop, opened
the drawer and took out the piece of paper that sits neatly on top of a
magazine. I looked over the paper and with a pen I scribbled on it and put it
back in its place till I needed it again.

I
stepped outside and walked down the street, I had an hour before I had to be at
work, so I decided to walk the few blocks it took to get there. The air was
cooler today as the sun hid behind a stream of clouds. Today was a different
sight than it had been in months. People had broken into their fall wardrobe
and pulled out the “chilly” day clothes. Pants, long sleeves, cardigans and
light jackets graced the streets of New York City as people prepared for the
arrival of fall.

I
passed Starbucks on my way to work, and of course, I had to stop as if I needed
more caffeine. I walked in and stood in a line that took up half the café. I
reached in my bag and grabbed my phone, I promised Peyton I would call and tell
her about last night. I dialed her number and waited for her to answer; after a
few rings it went to voicemail.

“Hey
Peyton, it’s me, I had a fabulous time last night with Connor. I’m on my way to
work, call me later for girl talk, love ya.”

It
was finally my turn as I ordered a Grande Cinnamon Dolce Latte. I paid the
barista and walked outside with my coffee in hand and on my way to work. As I
walked down the crowded street, I noticed a black Limo parked across from a
tall building. The Limo door opened as a familiar woman got out and then came
Connor, following her and adjusting his tie. My stomach felt sick and my heart
started racing, not out of passion, but out of nerves. He looked over and saw
me standing there a few feet away. I couldn’t let him know the rage and
jealousy I was feeling at that moment seeing them together, so I smiled and
waved just like any friend would do. His face looked pained when he saw me. He
did not smile back; he could only manage a small wave. They walked up to the
tall building and went inside. As I walked past, I noticed the name of the
business on the large double doors, “Black Enterprises.” I never realized that
is what this building was as I passed it all the time.

I
continued walking as a wave of betrayal coursed through my veins. There was no
reason for me to feel this way. Connor and I are friends and nothing more;
there could never be more. I struggled with my emotions all the way to work and
tried to reason with myself that he did nothing wrong. If he and I were going
to remain friends, then I would have to get used to seeing him with other
women. He was not mine, and I was not his. I kept saying that as I finally
arrived at work.

It
was a slow day at work, which sucked because it gave me more time to think
about Connor and the tall beautiful woman that got out of the Limo. I had no
right to even think about them, but after the moment we shared last night, I
could not help but wonder that maybe he had feelings for me. Whom was I
kidding? Connor Black is a player, and I’ve already been warned about him. I
needed to do some serious soul-searching, and the best place to do that was at
my favorite pizza place.

The
workday finally ended. I grabbed my phone and purse and headed out the door. I
came to a standstill when I saw Denny leaning up against the Limo parked at the
curb. I narrowed my eyes at him.

“Hi
Denny, what are you doing here?” I curiously asked.

“Hello
Miss Lane, Mr. Black sent me to pick you up and take you to the restaurant where
he will meet you in 15 minutes for dinner.”

“Is
that so?” I asked as I put my hands on my hips. He looked at me with a smirk on
his face because he knew what was coming next.

“You
can tell Mr. Black that I am not available this evening. I have other plans.”

I
started walking away as I turned my head back, “Also, tell him that if he wants
to have dinner with me then he can pick up the phone and ask me.” I put my hand
up and waved, “Bye Denny have a great night.”

Pizzapopolous
was a couple of blocks away, and the chilly evening air was settling in. I sat
down at a table close to the window and opened the menu. The restaurant was
small with about 20 tables that took up the space. The white walls were
decorated with photographs of all the celebrities that dined there. The tables
were decorated with red and white gingham tablecloths and white napkins. The
atmosphere was casual and quaint, and they had the best pizza.

I
was digging through my purse for my phone when I saw the shadow of someone sit
down across from me. I looked up, and there was Connor glaring at me; I rolled
my eyes.

“So,
this is where you want to have dinner?” he asked.

I
tilted my head to the side and looked at his smoldering face, “Yes Connor, this
is where I’m having dinner tonight, and I don’t believe you were invited.”

He
put his hand over his heart, “Ouch that stings Ellery. I invited you to dinner,
and you turned me down, so I took it upon myself to join you.”

“How
do you know I want company?”

He
put his hands on the table and folded them, “I don’t, but since I’m here we
might as well dine together,” he said as he looked around the restaurant.

The
whole point of this dinner was for me to do some soul-searching and that was
going to be extremely hard with him sitting across from me.

The
waitress came over and started drooling when she asked Connor what he would
like to order. He looked the menu up and down and decided on a salad. I looked
at him and grabbed the menu out of his hand.

“You
cannot sit in a pizza place and only get a salad.”

I
looked at the waitress and cleared my throat to divert her attention away from
Connor. “We’ll have a large deep dish with pepperoni, mushrooms and black
olives, a large antipasto salad and an order of bread sticks.”

Connor
brought his finger up and rested it on his lips, “Do you actually think I’m
going to eat that pizza?”