Forever Changed (The Mystic Wolves) (21 page)

But they would be too late. This battle was mine, and mine alone. My wolf broke free, ready to begin changing, but my magic was in full control. Even when something snapped inside me and crippling agony seared my insides, I didn’t stop the stream of magic decimating Julian. My own grief and rage was now fueling my attack, and it would only end when it was finished.

Julian’s body contorted violently as he yelled his refusal to accept defeat. Over and over, he shouted his fury at having someone whose abilities were less sophisticated than his, ruin his plans. I didn’t answer him. As his skin blackened, his death imminent, I tried to rein in my magic—only to find I couldn’t.

He
erupted into a blaze of bright light, the only thing remaining were his charred bones. But I couldn’t ignore that there was a new, different danger to face. Attacking him had seriously broken something inside me, and destruction was ravaging my witch nature.

“Mason!” My scream pierced the air as my legs gave way. The pain was beyond excruciating and I didn’t bother fighting against it.

I gave in, surrendering to the blessed darkness that seized and consumed me.

Chapter 22

The sound of my heartbeat thumping in my ears pulled me from a place of peace and shot me back into awareness. With it came a fresh dose of pain along with confusion. The last thing I remembered was losing control with Julian, and then darkness. I was no longer outside in the garden, the remains of my impromptu party forgotten. The soft support of my bed had replaced the hard ground and a warm blanket covered my body. Letting out a tired sigh, I tried sitting up, only to collapse back against the pillows.

“Easy now, sweetheart. Just relax. You’re safe.” Mason’s voice soothed my nerves. Opening my eyes, his face swam in my blurred vision. Blinking repeatedly, I offered him a small smile when I finally saw him clearly. Dark bags shadowed his features, weary lines of exhaustion wrinkling his brow. He looked like he hadn’t slept for days and I bolted upright as the memories flooded back.

“Julian!” I exclaimed. The last thing I remember was a blinding light, his burned body so destroyed he barely resembled anything.

“Ssh, he’s gone. He won’t be bothering us anymore.”

“Are you sure?” I’d learned enough to know that sometimes things didn’t stay dead. It was unwise to assume he’d been so quickly defeated.

“Positive. Vivien performed a ritual over his remains and there was nothing left. Your magic obliterated him,” Mason murmured, laying his hand against my cheek, caressing my skin tenderly, as he studied my reaction. “How do you feel?”

“Like I was hit by a truck and barbecued from the inside.” I groaned. “Is everyone still here? What happened to our pack? Are they safe?” I fired questions at him
, one after the other, concern shifting from myself to those I’d claimed as my family.

“Whoa, slow down. Everyone is fine. Surprisingly, Julian told the truth about those guarding our perimeter. They eventually woke up and no one’s complaining of any side effects. In fact, the only one we’re all worried about is you.”

“Me? I’m sure my aches will eventually heal. I’ve had worse.” I was totally lying. I’d expected the moment I’d become conscious that my body would have finished fixing whatever had broken during the fight. As I tested muscles and tried to sense how extensive the damage still was, I saw no evidence that things had healed at all. I hurt badly, and it was an effort just to fool Mason.

“Liar.” That one word told me he’d seen through my ruse. “You’re not healing and we both know it. We’ve tried to figure out what happened when you blasted Julian with your magic, but we couldn’t do it while you were passed out.”

“Well, I’m awake now. Call Vivien.” I gingerly scooted myself into a halfway sitting position. Just the slight effort left me panting for breath.

“I’ll let her know so she can drive back to the house.” Mason seemed hesitant to leave my side to summon her. His answer also baffled me.

“Drive back? Why isn’t she here?” With all the energy bouncing around outside, I assumed there would be plenty of magical fallout she’d need to take care of.

“Darcy, you’ve been out for three days. We haven’t been able to rouse you.”

“Three days?” I whispered, surprised.

“You fell to the ground and I carried you here. You haven’t moved in all that time.” This explained why he looked so haggard.

“And you’ve been watching over me, haven’t you?” I tried to cup his face, but I just didn’t have the strength. He noticed my failed attempt and picked up my hand, stroking the back with the pad of his thumb.

“Where else would I be?” The love in his voice made my heart race.

“You can’t ignore yourself, though. You need sleep, too.” I carefully patted the bed once, gesturing for him to lie down with me.

“Once we find out what’s dampening your ability to regenerate, I will. I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that, Mason. You can’t be doing this. You’re too important to everyone to get run down,” I scolded.

“All that matters right now is you; so quit arguing with me.” Winking, he kissed my fingers, letting me know he was teasing. “Besides, Daniel is holding the fort down. He and Alex have been going over security in case there are any repercussions from Julian’s death. So far, everything’s been quiet. There’s a good chance he was working alone, not trusting anyone enough to share his plans.”

“Okay,” I sighed, the conversation beginning to take a toll on me. There was one more question I had to ask. “How is Devlin?” Images of Christina’s ashes tugged at my heartstrings, tears filling my eyes before spilling over my lashes. “He loved her,” I whispered. Mason didn’t have to ask who I meant.

“He’s Devlin. He holds his hurt and grief closely, and hasn’t really spoken about it. I know he gathered what was left.” His voice broke with emotion. “You can talk to him if you’re up to it. We’ve both held a vigil over you, impatiently waiting. I had to send him to go feed because his hunger began overriding his composure. He refused to leave at first, worried something would happen to you while he was gone; but I managed to convince him it was in his best interest. Don’t ever doubt you’re loved.”

“I don’t. Is he better?” I didn’t like knowing he’s ignored his own basic needs.

“He’s outside meditating. We’ve all given him his space,” Mason admitted, clearly concerned for his friend. Whatever issues they had over Devlin’s withholding my heritage from us had long been forgiven. “You ready to get up and move about? We’ll call Vivien so she can give you a once over.”

“Yeah, some fresh air sounds really good right now.” With his help, I hung my legs over the side of the bed, my feet carefully touching the floor as I tried to stand. “I got this. Nothing to worry about.”

But I spoke to soon. The moment I was upright, the room started spinning and the world felt like it tipped on its axis. There was no stopping the downward momentum and I lost my grip on reality. Everything darkened as a tunnel of black roared toward me.

Not even Mason’s startled shout or the sound of my name prevented the inevitable. Weakened, I went for the ride, passing out as my body crumpled to the bed.

****

“Thank goodness, she’s awake, again.”

I was back under the covers and the room had stopped spinning. Mason was sitting by me, his warm smile the first thing I saw before glancing around. He wasn’t alone this time. Devlin was standing by the window, in a low conversation with Vivien.

“How long was I out this time?” I croaked, my throat sore.

“Only a few hours,” Mason answered as he brushed my hair from across my eyes. “If you keep this up, we may have to start calling you Sleeping Beauty.”

His compliment made me smile. “Beauty and the Beast, huh?”

“I think you have your Disney movies mixed up, Darcy.” Devlin joked, moving away from the curtains so he could see me better. “Although your husband did resemble one for a while out there.”

“I heard he wasn’t the only one. Do I need to kick both your butts? Don’t ever neglect yourself!” I pointed my finger at him and then Mason for good measure.

“Well, if she’s already bossing us around, I’d say that’s a good sign she’s feeling better.”
Devlin gave a relieved grin to Mason.

Vivien came to sit on the other side of me, her hand resting against my forehead before touching my cheek. “You gave us quite the scare. Can you tell me what you’re feeling right now, besides being tired?”

I paused for a moment, trying to take inventory of my body, so I could answer honestly. “Something feels wrong. Inside. Like fighting Julian scrambled everything up and when it settled, nothing makes sense.” My wolf’s presence was the same, her relief that I’d woken up was apparent. She also worried that irreparable damage had been done when my magic consumed me, prowling back and forth below the surface. “My wolf is okay, though. But . . .” Shock silenced me.

“Your magic is gone, however.”

Vivien spoke the truth. The realization dawned on me that at the root of my pain was the gaping hole where my witch nature had been. Nothing was there now, nothing but a sickly residual that wasn’t energy, but a pitiful echo of the energy I used to hold.

“Where did it go?” There was no pushing my panic aside as I searched inwardly for any sign of my abilities. There was no beautiful glow or subtle tingle that had recently become a constant. I dove down deeper, scrambling for any glimpse, my wolf mournfully baying as she watched. My magic was nowhere to be found. I felt hollowed out and empty.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. Sometimes this happens. Only in rare cases, but it does occur.” Sorrow shone from Vivien’s eyes, her mouth turned downward with regret.

“So, she’s no longer a witch?” Mason asked.

“Well, technically, because she was born with gifts, she will always be a witch; but with her magic destroyed, she won’t be able to practice as one.” I could hear how much that pained her to admit.

“What about restoring her nature? Surely there’s a ritual or incantations that you can do?” It was Devlin’s turn to chime in.

“You saw how difficult it was to try and bind her powers again. I don’t know if it’s possible.”

“But, it’s not impossible. It’s simply a matter of refilling the vessel, so to speak.” Excited, Mason had joined Devlin in his assumptions.

“In theory, but . . .”

“No buts. We need to do whatever we can.” I tried not to laugh at how one small hope had restored their faith in everything working out. It was just like men to think things could be easily fixed.”

“It’s not like duct tape, Mason,” I softly teased. “It might be a little more complicated than simply saying a few words.”

“Do you want me to try?” Vivien asked.

I’d only just gotten used to being a witch and the lessons I’d had so far had been fun.  I could see how, once I had control over my abilities, I could use my powers in a positive way, like Christina. The more I learned about my new friend, the more impressed I became. She’d completely turned her life around, thriving in her new life as an Enforcer.

“Oh, Devlin.” Tears rolled down my cheeks as I glanced at him.

“There’ll be plenty of time for that.” He looked so resolved and together, but I saw his Adam’s apple bob as he choked back his emotions. Nodding, I let it go for the moment. Sooner or later we’d need to talk and I wouldn’t let him bottle his grief then. We needed to acknowledge what Christina had done, honor her sacrifice. This wasn’t something we could push aside just because it hurt.

“Darcy?” Vivien prompted.

“Yes, please.”

“Okay, give me tonight to get everything together and to summon the coven. In the meantime, try to sleep more and relax. Until we restore what was lost, the weakness will prevent you from fully healing.” Standing up, she straightened out her long skirt, obviously hesitating because something else was on her mind.

“What is it?” I’d seen that look before and it never meant anything good.

“I just don’t want to give you false hope. Any of you. What’s happened is extremely serious and . . .” She stopped mid-sentence, as if readying us for the bombshell she was about to drop.

“And?” Mason and Devlin asked, together.

“If it doesn’t work, you’ll all need to prepare for the worst.”

“Which is?” It was me, now, who became impatient.

“If we can’t restore your magic, and your spirit doesn’t balance out, there’s a very good chance you’ll . . .”

“For goodness sake, spit it out!” Mason exclaimed, unable to curb his frustration. He could see this was difficult for her, for everyone; but I’d already guessed what she didn’t want to admit.

“I’ll die. Won’t I?”

“Yes.”

“Like hell!” Mason roared.

“Not going to happen,” Devlin said at the same time.

I tuned out everyone’s responses, my heart already knowing the truth.

By killing Julian, I’d signed my own death warrant.

Chapter 23

I slept fitfully through the night, dreams plaguing me. My fear of dying wouldn’t release me long enough to relax. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the possibility that I could actually die, my heart busy with its own source of denial. I’d gone through so much, fighting to secure my future with Mason. It seemed too cruel that now, when we’d finally been mated, I was going to be ripped away from him. I was tired of having my hard earned security threatened; but it was difficult to keep the helpless feelings at bay.

This was beyond my control. It was yet another moment where I had to trust that everything would work out the way it was meant to. I needed to believe that regardless of the outcome, Mason and I would still be together. The whole situation weighed heavily on my spirit. In hindsight, it made Julian seem like a small blip on the radar compared to this greater danger.

Waking up in the morning, I found Mason’s side of the bed empty. There was a small note in his messy scribble saying he’d be back and Vivien would be over at noon. He said that there were a few things that he wanted to get, in hopes that it would make today’s event run more smoothly. I knew it must have killed him to leave my side; but it was good he had something else to focus on, other than the dark cloud of uncertainty hanging over us.

By tonight, we’d know for sure. Suddenly, there didn’t seem to be enough time. A silent ticking in my head reminded me that precious seconds were passing by that I would never be able to reclaim. Groaning out aloud over my morbid thoughts, I attempted to sit up. I needed to use the restroom and I refused to spend what might be my last day in bed.

“Let me help you.” A familiar voice broke through my weary concentration.

“Vlad!” I smiled, happy to see him. “Or should I say cousin?”

He didn’t bother to hide the roll of his eyes as he chuckled. “Tell me you were angry at our dear uncle when he told you his little secret.”

“Mason punched him, and then fought him outside.” This surprising visit was just what I needed. Vlad always made me laugh with his antics and the things he said. I’d never met anyone so confused over their identity before and, sure enough, he’d adopted a new look. He was dressed in tight, black leather pants, with the same colored t-shirt. His hair was slicked back with product and sunglasses were propped on top of his head. He was a complete mess when it came to deciding who he was, but I loved him anyway. Even though it would have mortified him to know, I thought he was absolutely adorable. Clueless and harmless.

“Damn, why wasn’t I called? I would’ve paid money to watch Devlin get his ass delivered to him, true?”

“True?” It took everything I had not to snicker. Vlad had read the J.R. Ward book I’d left out for him in Devlin’s study when I’d gone to stay with them.

“It’s the same as saying ‘yeah’, Darcy.” He chatted, clearly thinking I needed to be educated on all things Black Dagger Brotherhood related.

“Ahhh, good to know.” I let out a sigh, knowing what I was going to say next might be embarrassing for both of us; but it couldn’t be avoided. “Umm, not to change the subject, but can you help me to the bathroom?” The minute I asked, my face blushed. His did, too.

“Suuurre.” He drew his answer out. “Do I need to, umm, carry you or something?”

“I’ll be fine to walk. I might need to lean on you, though. I still feel weak.” Sleep had given me a little energy, but I didn’t want to deplete it all with this small task. I was hoping once I was done, Vlad could assist me in gathering the others.

Offering me his arm, it took a few minutes to get securely on my feet, and a few more to take short, steady steps to the bathroom. “I think I’ve got it from here. Thanks.” We both released a large sigh of relief when I closed the door, left alone to take care of my business.

“Just holler if you need me,” Vlad called from the other room. I was already feeling tired, but I was adamant I could do this myself.

Ten minutes later, I turned the handle and smiled. “Okay, all done.” A sudden wave of dizziness hit me, the ground seeming to dip below me.

“Whoa, you overdid it!” Vlad rushed over and scooped me up into his arms. I was surprised and I shook my head, reminding myself that appearances were sometimes deceiving. He might not have the same build as Mason or Devlin, but he was still a vampire, which gave him beyond human strength. “I was given strict orders to make sure you were safe. I’m going to be pissed if you get me in trouble, feel me?”

As he gently placed me back on my bed, dragging the covers over me, I burst into laughter; the sound lightening the weight that had settled over my heart. “I love you, Vlad. Thanks for coming to sit with me this morning.”

His brows wrinkled, clearly unsure what had sparked my sudden outburst. “What did I do?”

“You were just being you.”

“And that was funny?” His confusion was merely masking a layer of hurt.

“No. You make me smile and, today of all days, I desperately needed it. That’s all.”

He broke out into a grin. “Then, good. But please, I was being serious. Devlin already threatened me with bodily harm if he came back and you were sicker.”

“Don’t you worry about him. I’ll tell him you took good care of me.”

“True?”

“True.” I winked. “So tell me what you’ve been up to since I last saw you?”

Excited to have someone to talk to, Vlad eagerly began chatting, sharing all the gossip he’d been gathering. There was no “doom and gloom” musings, no worrying about what could go wrong with Vivien’s spell, or fear about leaving those I loved. It was simply two friends catching up. Our uplifting mood greeted Mason when he returned an hour later.

****

I didn’t know how I felt about being back in the garden after everything that had happened there. I tried not to look at the spot where Christina died trying to save me. Nor did I glance at where Julian had been destroyed.  Vivien and the coven would be performing the spell because they were concerned that driving me to her house might undo the small progress I’d made in restoring my strength. I could see the common sense in the decision; but it didn’t mean I had to like the painful reminder of the battle.

“It’s good to see you with a little color in your cheeks.” Vivien smiled, helping me as Mason let me down from his arms. He’d refused to let me walk, insisting it was no big deal for him to carry me. I think it helped ease his own worry, knowing he was helping; so I didn’t give him a hard time. I gave Vivien a brief hug and gratefully sat down in the chair Devlin had brought outside for me. I wasn’t fooling anyone. I was still weak and, depending on how extensive this ritual was, there was no need to pretend that I wasn’t already tired. I thanked Devlin, who helped seat me, making sure I wouldn’t topple over when he let go.

“Hopefully after this, I’ll keep getting better.” There was a forced optimism in my voice. Fake it ‘til you make it. That attitude had worked wonders for me before; and now seemed like the perfect slogan to adopt. “So, just tell me where you need me and let’s get started.”

I didn’t look at Mason, even though I could feel his eyes boring into me. His mind was tugging on mine through our connection, but I ignored that, too. If I so much as peeked at him, I knew I’d fall apart; and this wasn’t the time to have a meltdown. Bravery was what the situation called for. Courage in the face of the unknown. I needed to be strong for him, for my family, for myself, and the Pack.

The coven came forward and surrounded the makeshift pentagram someone had designed out of tree branches. Candles were placed at each point, crystals of every color and size resting beside them. Nervousness buzzed through me along with a healthy dose of apprehension as I focused on the center of the diagram. It surprised me that after everything I’d faced, I couldn’t maintain the same determination to survive. My wolf nipped at my spirit, indicating she didn’t approve of my pessimism, either. She fully believed another way would be found if this attempt failed. Straightening my back and shrouding myself in gritty resolve, I willed myself to see this through. I would prove that I could face this challenge like I’d done with all the others. I looked over at Mason, finally, and smiled.

I wasn’t ready to die. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

“Darcy, there’s nothing you need to do, honey. I’ll recite the words and invoke the magic needed.  When it’s over, you should begin to feel better.”

“Okay.” I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing. I didn’t know what to expect, but my wolf was alert. If needed, she would take over, shifting
to make sure I didn’t suffer.

I could hear Vivien move about, getting into position. Someone coughed, maybe Devlin. A soft layer of love blanketed over me.

You promised me forever, sweetheart. I’ll be holding you to that.

I love you. This will work.
I hoped he believed me.

I love you, too. So much. You are my entire world, Darcy. I won’t let you go.
His voice faded away as chanting filled the air. Magic rippled around me as the coven’s combined power joined with Vivien’s.

Blessed Goddess, Mother to all,

Here my plea, my petition, my call.

With heavy heart and humble heart,

Your love and glory I wish you’d impart.

Before you comes your daughter dear,

Her magic gone, mind filled with fear.

Free her from pain, replace her power.

Grant my favor this very hour.

Restore her gifts, renew what was lost

Remove the darkness, whatever the cost.

With purest of intent, a witch once again,

To practice her craft and bless without end.

Take what you need; the price will be paid,

The conditions for your mercy obeyed.

Please, blessed Mother, in this I so ask

By earth, air, fire, water, and spirit,

So mote it be.

So mote it be.

The candle flames flared before extinguishing and the crystals emitted an eerie glow that slowly went out. Coven members sagged, as their magic was released by the spell; and still, I waited to feeling something—anything.

Last time there had been pain. Last time my body had reacted, forcing my wolf to come forward. I expected to feel that familiar pulse of life and the excitement my powers had given me. I entertained the idea that maybe with my witch nature being restored rather than bound, it might feel different. Despite all my worrying, I had faith that Vivien would perform a miracle. In my mind’s eye, I should’ve been smiling by now, my body beginning to heal as it balanced out.

But I wasn’t. Nothing had changed. There was still a hole in my spirit and I couldn’t stop the tears from spilling.

“No?” Vivien asked, not really needing an answer. My crying said it all. Shaking my head, she looked crestfallen. “There has to be something.”

Mason broke through the line of coven members, stepping over the branches to reach me. “Are you sure? Is it just because it’s so new and small that you don’t recognize it?” Testing for himself, I felt him enter my mind, fully searching for any hint of magic. I didn’t have the heart to tell him his exploring was pointless. I’d paid close attention while Vivien was reciting the incantation and there’d been no internal reaction.

“I don’t accept this!” He thundered, holding me in his arms. “Fix this
now. I order you to fix this!” His voice sounded strangled, as his own tears streamed down his cheeks. “I don’t care what you have to do, who you have to bring in. I refuse to believe this is the only answer.”

I couldn’t speak. I didn’t trust myself to not fall apart, especially when Mason could barely keep himself together.

“Vivien?” Devlin softly asked, his words sounding strained.

“I don’t know. I don’t think so. I worried this might happen, so I called Helena. I talked to everyone I knew. I researched as best I could and found nothing.” I hated hearing how distraught she was. “I wish I knew what to do!”

“Find Morgan,” Mason thundered. His order caused everyone to gasp, me included. If there was one thing Mason was known for, it was his sense of justice and belief in playing by the rules. She was the witch responsible for Amber using magic against us, selling her spells for money, not caring that her abilities hurt innocent people. By mentioning Morgan, it meant he was entertaining the idea of using black magic. It was further proof of how desperate he had become.

“Mason, no. You don’t want that.”

“Don’t tell me what I want! I don’t want my wife to die, but you’re telling me there’s no saving her. If you’re not able to, don’t you dare try and stop me from finding someone who can.”

“I understand your fear, but this is not the way to do it. Black magic is called that for a reason. There are horrible consequences when you evoke that kind of darkness. Some prices are too high, Mason. Please, trust me on this.” Vivien knelt down beside us, her impassioned plead etched across her face. “Please.”

“I can’t lose her. I can’t.” With those final two words, Mason broke down completely, sobs wracking his body as he held on to me for dear life.