Forever Country (7 page)

“
Please excuse me,” Abel
Lee says before he gets up from the table.

After we clean up, Sawyer Jackson and I say
our goodbyes before leaving. I search the parking lot, wondering if
the murderer is still lurking around. I’m glad that Megan Rose’s
murder wasn’t the main topic of discussion at dinner tonight. I saw
a glimpse of the broadcast on the news, before Sawyer Jackson
walked into the room. I quickly shut off the television. I don’t
want my son to be tainted by the ugliness in the world.

I bathe him before puttin’ him to bed.

“
Momma, I had fun
tonight.”
 

“
You did?
Why?”
 

“
Because the food is good,
and the people are nice.”
 

I warsh his face before
cleanin’ behind his ears. “The people are very
nice.”
 

“
And I got a balloon
animal.”
 

“
You got the coolest
balloon animal, ever.”

Later, at home, I listen to
Sawyer Jackson sayin’ his prayers before bed, and I make sure he is
asleep before I shower. I call my sister to make sure the plans for
Thanksgiving haven’t changed. They haven’t. I work every day, and
make the money stretch as far as I can. The church calls me
whenever Bud and Nelly drop off eggs. I am forever appreciative of
the church and everything they do for me and for Sawyer Jackson.
Without them… I don’t even want to think about it. The church gave
me a few bags of soup beans, and I made them with a ham hock
tonight. I like makin’ food and volunteerin’ my time at the church
for the community supper, but some days, I’m not sure where the
food will come from. It’s hard to feed Sawyer Jackson and me some
days, so it’s often very difficult to help feed a church full of
hungry people.
 

Sometimes… well, a lot of
the time, Sawyer Jackson and I have breakfast for dinner. We call
it our special meal. He loves pancakes, and so do I. I can’t tell
him we have to have pancakes for dinner because it’s the only food
in the house. He doesn’t need to know that.
The late comedian Bernie Mac knows that. I heard him say on TV
that if you’re eatin’ breakfast food at night, you’re poor. I’m
glad Sawyer Jackson wasn’t watchin’.
 

The next mornin’ Sawyer
Jackson and I get up early and go to his grandparents’ house for
Thanksgiving. Mom and Dad are excited to see us. Mom is in the
kitchen cookin’ with my sister, Samantha Marie, and Daddy is in the
livin’ room watchin’ the
Macy’s
Thanksgiving Day Parade
.

Sawyer Jackson runs in and jumps in his
granddaddy’s lap.

“
There’s my boy. I’ve been
waitin’ on ya. Where ya been at?”
 

“
Momma had to do her hair
and makeup,” Sawyer Jackson teases, and he makes a face at me. I
release a soft laugh. “She wanted to look purdy,” he
adds.

Daddy looks up at me and
smiles. “She’s beautiful without all that fuss.”
 

I walk over and bend down
to kiss Daddy. “Thank you.”
 

“
Happy Thanksgiving,
Pumpkin.”
 

“
Happy Thanksgiving,
Daddy.”
 

Sawyer Jackson looks at me and asks, “Why did
you fix your hair?”

“
Because it’s a holiday,
and I wanted to look nice.”

“
Why are we watchin’ a
parade on TV?”

“
Because it’s only on once
a year,” Daddy says to Sawyer Jackson as he looks up at me. I shrug
my shoulders. My son is asking a lot of questions today.

“
Why’s it only on once a
year?” Sawyer Jackson asks.

Daddy laughs, “Why you askin’ so many
questions?”

“
Because I don’t know
anything — I’m only four. How old are you?” Sawyer Jackson
asks.

Daddy laughs. “How old do you think I
am?”

I watch Daddy and I also watch Sawyer Jackson
think for a moment. “What’s the biggest number in the world?”
Sawyer Jackson asks.

I try to hide my laugh and quickly turn to
leave before Daddy answers. I help Mom and Samantha Marie in the
kitchen, while Daddy keeps Sawyer Jackson entertained in the livin’
room. Daddy keeps walkin’ in and askin’ if the food’s done. Every
time he walks in, he samples something before leavin’.

“
He’ll be plumb stuffed
full before suppertime,” Mom laughs.
 

Ethan shows up and spends Thanksgiving with
us. It’s more of a benefit for Sawyer Jackson than anything. This
is the first Thanksgiving since our divorce, and I wanted our son
to have both of his parents with him. I’m grateful that Ethan and I
are still on friendly terms. Sawyer likes havin’ him here, and it
reminds me that I am doing the right thing for my boy.

After supper, Mom plays a
DVD of the Christmas movie
Rudolph
for us all to watch. I fall asleep on the floor in
front of the fireplace. When I wake up, Sawyer Jackson is in my old
bed, sleeping peacefully. I kiss him and cover him up before
turnin’ to leave. I take a pillow and blanket out of the cedar
chest and sleep the rest of the night on the couch.

CHAPTER TWO

Abel

Thanksgiving Day is just like I remember it
as a child. Momma’s in the kitchen, fussing over piecrust that
isn’t rolling out right, and Pops is sitting at the bar and
laughing at her.

“
Bud, if you think you can
do it better, go right on ahead.”
 

“
Nelly, it’s gonna be
delicious. Just slap it on there, we’re gonna cut it soon
anyway.”

She places her hands on her hips. The look on
her face says exactly what she is thinking.

He stands up and laughs.
“Don’t be gettin’ your panties in a bunch. I’m just sayin’ it’s
gonna be delicious and frankly, I don’t care what the pie looks
like.”
 

Did I just hear him
right?
“Pops, did you just say, ‘panties in
a bunch’?”

Everyone in the room starts
laughing, including Momma.
 

Momma tries not to laugh
but swats the dishrag at Pops. “Go on and git outta
here.”
 

“
Belle, I’m just saying,
purdy or not, your pies are the tastiest
around.”
 

I think I see Momma blush.
Pops leaves and takes a handful of walnuts with him.
Yep, just like ole times.

Just because it’s Thanksgiving doesn’t mean
it’s a day off on the farm. We still have work to do, and Levi is
here helping. Mia and Mom stay in the house, and Pops, Levi, and I
cut more firewood and feed the animals.

When that’s all done, Pops hooks up the wagon
to the tractor.

“
What’s up?” I ask. I’m not
really sure what he has in mind.

“
Let’s surprise the girls
with a Christmas tree.” Dad sits on the tractor and looks back at
Levi and me.

I look at Dad and then at
Levi. “Will a live tree last that long?”
 

Levi answers, “It
will.
It helps to cut off an inch from the
bottom once in a while and to always keep the tree in water.
It won’t be in the best shape in a month, but
Momma and Mia like to put them up early.” He looks and smiles and
me. “Mia will love that, let’s go.” Levi walks into the barn and
comes out with a chainsaw and a hacksaw. I watch as he jumps on the
wagon.

“
Whatcha waitin’ on? You
move like you got molasses in your britches.”

Do people really talk like
that?
“I’m coming.” I shake my head and
pray this is one saying I won’t remember.

Pops follows the trail leading to the back
part of the property. When we get to the pine trees, he stops and
shuts off the tractor. Levi and I follow him and I am once again
reminded of my childhood. This is truly country living.

“
Pick a tree, Abel,” Pops
says, looking around.

I try to remember the rules
to follow for selecting a live tree.
They
look smaller in the open field than they really are. Measure it
next to you, and try to wrap your arms around it.
I walk around the area with the spruce pines until
I find the perfect one.

“
Here it
is.”
 

Pops walks over and looks
at the tree. “This one right here?”
 

“
Perfect height, perfect
width, makes for a perfect Christmas tree.”
 

Levi hands me the saw. “Cut
her down.”
 

I forgot about that part. Pine needles can be
very prickly.

Once we get Momma a tree, and Mia and Levi a
tree, we also decide to cut a couple extras. One for the church,
and I cut one down for Savannah Mae. Not sure she needs it, but you
never know. We’ll have it just in case.

Dinner is delicious and the
piecrust looks like a raggedy patchwork quilt. But just as Pops
said, it’s delicious. No one says anything about the way the pies
look, but everyone raves about the delicious taste. I have no idea
how she does it, but the crust melts in your
mouth.
 

No one talks about the murder of Megan Rose,
although I know it’s on everyone’s mind.

After dinner, we all help
with the cleanup. While we guys put the tree in the stand, Momma
and Mia divide the leftover food up into containers. Momma still
uses the same ole Christmas decorations she used when I was home,
over ten years ago. I shouldn’t be surprised. Once the tree is
decorated, Levi and Mia leave. I shower and go to bed. I’m
whooped.
I mean, I’m beat. Man, I’m
turning into a country hick.

Savannah Mae

Everyone in town is talkin’ about Megan Rose.
The killer is still at large, and the details of her death still
remain a secret. I don’t ask and I try hard not to engage in the
conversation about her demise. There’s a sayin’ — “Ignorance is
bliss” — that I firmly believe applies to cases like this.

Today is her funeral service and I imagine
everyone in town will be there. The church is small, but that’s
where the service will take place. Burial will be in the cemetery
behind the church. Sawyer Jackson and I dress in our Sunday clothes
and walk to the church for the service. Cars are lined up from one
end of the road to the other. One advantage of livin’ in a small
village is you’re walkin’ distance to everything.

I feel sad when I see Megan Rose’s parents
talkin’ to the funeral director. I sent flowers and a personal
note, but I didn’t do anything else. I knew her, so maybe I should
have gone over to her house and spoken with her parents. When
someone dies, it’s hard to know the right thing to do or say.

Sawyer Jackson and I walk up to the closed
casket, and I have to wonder if the rumors are true about her
death. Someone said that she was unrecognizable when they found
her. I shiver at the thought. I see a large, beautiful framed
picture of her taken during happier times. To the left of the
casket are several collages of pictures. Some are of her alone,
some are of her and her boyfriend, and some are of her with her
parents and friends.

Sawyer Jackson whispers, “Is she in
heaven?”

“
Yes, Buddy, she
is.”

I speak briefly to Megan Rose’s mom and dad
and then to her boyfriend before I take a seat in the back of the
room. The line leading to the casket is long, but it moves quickly.
I see Ethan come in with Heather Sue. I stiffen. I knew they were
together, but I haven’t actually seen them together.

“
There’s Daddy!” Sawyer
Jackson says excitedly. “Can I go see him?” he asks as he hops up
from his chair and runs over to Ethan.

I watch as he makes his way through the full
church to the end of the line. Ethan ruffles Sawyer Jackson’s hair,
and Heather Sue looks back at me and smiles. I don’t return the
homewrecker’s smile.

Nelly, Bud, Mia, Levi, and Abel Lee arrive
next. Now, I smile. Abel Lee sees me, but he continues to look
around the room. When he sees Sawyer Jackson, he excuses himself
from his family and walks over to me.

“
Is this seat
taken?”

“
Only by my
son.”

“
Good, I’ll sit here until
he returns.”

I lean in and whisper, “You don’t want to pay
your respects?”

“
I sent flowers. I really
didn’t know her or her family.”

I watch as he looks around the room. He
stares at Megan Rose’s boyfriend, who is standing near the casket
with her parents.

“
He was her boyfriend,” I
whisper.

Abel Lee only nods.

Sawyer Jackson comes back and sits on my lap.
Abel Lee doesn’t leave. I’m glad that he sits with us throughout
the service. After the funeral and lunch at the church with the
surviving family members, we say our goodbyes.

Thanksgiving was last week and I still don’t
have a Christmas tree. I told Sawyer Jackson that after
Thanksgiving we would put a tree up. I guess I didn’t realize how
much they were. I keep prayin’ for a good night in tips, but
everyone’s pinchin’ pennies this time of year. I try not to think
about money, but when you don’t have the money for bills and food,
it’s all I can think about.

Tonight at work, Ethan came into the diner
with our son. He gave me some more money and said the sales of the
furniture have been consistent. I hate to take his money, but I
have no choice. When we divorced, we divorced on sort of good
terms. I didn’t go after child support, and he vowed to help me as
much as he could. We both love Sawyer Jackson more than life, so I
have no doubt this arrangement will continue to work. We brought
him into this world lovingly, and we’ll raise him with just as much
love. Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m his only parent.