Forever His Bride (13 page)

She trembled, her knees weakening. She clutched at him, her nails digging into his shoulders. Then she skimmed her hands over his chest, the soft hair tickling her palms. This time, when she grabbed the waistband of his boxers, she pushed them down. His erection sprang free, nudging her hip.

“I want to take my time with you,” he warned her as she reached for him, closing her hand around the hard length of him. “I want to love every inch of you.” So he pushed her down onto the bed.

The feather-soft mattress cradled her, and the satin comforter was smooth and cool against her bare back. “Josh…”

He followed her down, his chest pressing lightly against her breasts as he balanced his upper body weight on the palms braced next to her head. His mouth slid from her throat, along her shoulder to the curve of her breast. “You are so beautiful.”

“Josh…” She wrapped her arms around his back, pulling him all the way down onto her. Needing him close.

“I’m too heavy,” he protested.

“Don’t worry,” she assured him, “I’m not going to break.” Not her body. But maybe her heart. Could she trust him with it?

Josh’s control snapped as he realized Brenna spoke the truth. He didn’t have to reign in his passion with her. Of all the women he’d ever known, she could handle it. She could handle him.

He kissed her again, with all the passion he felt for her. Despite her arms holding him close, he eased back and skimmed his hands down her body, stroking soft, alabaster skin.

He cupped her breasts, but they overflowed his hands, heavy and full, the nipples distended, begging for his touch. He rolled each hard tip between his thumb and forefinger.

A moan slipped from Brenna’s lips and she moved her head against the sheets, arching her body toward his. “Josh…”

He bent his head and touched just the tip of his tongue to her nipple. She jumped as if he’d shocked her. But he’d done nothing yet—nothing compared to what he intended to do to her. He pulled the nipple into his mouth, nipping it with his teeth, laving it with his tongue while he traced the cupcake tattoo with his fingertip.

“Josh…” She parted her legs so that she cradled his hips, his erection pushing against her soft belly. She arched, rubbing against him.

He groaned, pulling her nipple deeper into his mouth, while his fingers smoothed over the warmth and fullness of her other breast. He teased that nipple with his thumb, flicking it back and forth over the hard point.

Brenna’s body trembled beneath his as if she fought the sexual frustration that was obviously building inside her. “Josh…”

He eased back and skimmed his other hand down, between their bodies, beneath the flimsy elastic of her underwear. He pushed his fingers through curls to stroke her heat, to plunge inside her.

She tensed and shuddered, screaming his name, “Josh!”

He lifted his fingers to his mouth, tasting her passion, wanting more. He backed off the mattress to kneel next to the bed. Then he tore off her thin panties and made love to her with his mouth.
She was so damned sweet
…

Brenna’s world shattered as she came. She unclenched her fingers from the satin spread, then willed some strength back into her muscles. And she reached for him, pulling him onto the mattress with her. She kissed his throat where his pulse hammered. Then she kissed her way down his chest, flicking her fingers across his nipples.

“Brenna…” His eyes filled with passion.

She wanted to give him more. So much more. She lowered her head, her lips trailing across the rippling muscles of his washboard abs. She dipped her tongue into his navel, but his erection nudged her cheek, throbbing with a demand for attention.

She wanted only to give him the pleasure he’d given her. First she closed her hand around him, stroking up and down the impressive length of him. He groaned and a cord strained in his neck. Then she leaned over and closed her lips around him, her breasts bumping against his hard thighs.

Like her fingers in the satin, Josh’s tangled in her hair, holding her to him before pulling her away. “No, Brenna…”

“But I want…”

He pulled her up, into his arms and kissed her. “I want you. I want to bury myself deep inside you.” He groaned again.

“Do it,” she urged. She parted her legs. “Make love to me, Josh.”

Josh’s control, whatever he’d managed to hang on to during her sensual assault on his body, snapped. He lifted one of her legs, rubbing her inner thigh against his hip. Then he drove deep into her wet heat.

Her muscles clutched him, and as she arched her hips, pulled him deeper yet until he was buried inside her—until he became part of her. He had never felt as connected to another person. “Brenna…”

He wanted to profess his love, tell her everything in his heart. But words escaped him. So, his body shuddering and begging for release, he could only show her. He withdrew, then entered again, thrusting in and pulling out.

Brenna’s nails bit into his shoulders, then skimmed down his back as she pulled him closer. Her breasts pushed against his chest. He rubbed against her nipples, teasing her.

She reached up, nipping at the cords in his throat with her teeth. Then she pressed her mouth against his skin. Her body tensed, then melted and poured over him. “Josh! Josh! Josh!” She shouted her release.

He clenched the muscles in his stomach, his jaw, trying to hold back his own desperate need to seek release. He moved slowly, teasing her until she came again, tears streaking from the corners of her eyes to dampen her gorgeous red hair.

“Josh!” She murmured his name, her eyes wide with shock as if she were amazed by what she felt, the pleasure he had given her.

He hoped he glimpsed something more in her eyes. He hoped he saw love. Because he certainly felt it.

She arched against him, skimming her nails beyond his back to clutch his butt, so he thrust deeper. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he came, his body erupting with passion and desire. He came and he came, and he fell even deeper in love with this woman.

B
RENNA STRETCHED
and rolled over, reaching across the bed for Josh. But her hand skimmed across cold, tangled sheets. She blinked open her eyes to the sun streaming through the wood blinds, illuminating every corner of the master bedroom. Where had he gone?

“Hey, sleepyhead,” a deep voice said as Josh walked into the bedroom. Muscles straining in his bare arms, he balanced a breakfast tray. A vase of roses, red like the paint on the walls, teetered as he set the tray across her lap, so she caught the flowers, and a thorn snagged her finger. He caught her hand and kissed the bleeding digit. “That’s not exactly what I had in mind when I stole the roses from Mrs. Hild’s yard. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

Here it came. The kiss-off.

“I’m a big girl,” she assured him. Even with him and Molly officially over, Brenna had known she had no future with him. She wasn’t his usual type. “I knew what I was getting into.”

“Did you?” he asked as he dropped onto the bed next to her. He wore only his boxers, his chest bare and incredibly sexy. His hair mussed and his eyes shining with…love? Dare she hope?

“You snuck into Mrs. Hild’s yard like that?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking.

He shrugged. “It was dark yet.” Only the first light of morning glinted through the windows.

No wonder Mrs. Hild hadn’t shot him, as she’d threatened some other town miscreants, for stealing her beloved flowers. Never having had children of her own before her husband had died, the old woman had made her garden her baby.

“You know they’re a handful,” he said.

“What?” She narrowed her eyes, confused by his conversation and trying to understand exactly what he was saying to her.

“My boys,” he elaborated. “They’re a handful. But you know that.”

“They’re wonderful.” And so was he. She had never had as considerate and thorough a lover. Her body ached, from what they’d done and from wanting more despite their having made love most of the previous day and night.

The pressure on her chest eased, as she realized he wasn’t dumping her. Yet could they have a future together?

“They think you’re wonderful. They love you already.” He grinned. “Buzz and TJ are going to be so happy.”

“What are we going to tell them?” she asked, wondering how a parent explained his relationship to his kids. Would she stay a friend or had she earned the title of girlfriend?

His grin widened, and his eyes sparkled. “We’re going to tell them that we’re finally going to have that wedding.”

“What?” Her body jerked with shock, and she nearly toppled over the tray. A ring rolled across the wooden surface. They’d only known each other—really known each other—for two weeks, and he was proposing? Was he that desperate for a wife that he would propose to the next woman he met after Molly dumped him?

“And now you’ve spoiled the surprise.” He laughed, appearing as excited as his boys had when they’d found the colonel’s head in the park. “Hell, I guess
I
spoiled the surprise.”

“Surprise?” She shouldn’t have been shocked. She’d known he’d proposed almost as quickly to Molly.

He picked up the ring from the tray and reached for her hand. “This is only temporary,” he said. “I figured you’d want to pick out your own engagement ring.”

“Whose ring is this?” Her stomach lurched over the possibilities. “Molly’s? Amy’s?”

The grin slid away from his face. “No. It’s mine. My parents gave it to me when I graduated med school.”

“Your ring?” She turned her attention to the ring. The platinum-and-onyx band was definitely not an engagement ring.

“I don’t wear it much because of surgeries and such. But it means a lot to me. It’s proof of what I can accomplish with a lot of hard work.”

Was that what he considered her? Hard work? Would he want to change her, like he’d changed Amy? Numb with shock, she let him slide the ring onto her finger. The platinum band wobbled around her knuckle—it was too big. Like she was for him. Too big. Too much. Too real.

Because she wanted a real marriage. Real love. Not the marriage of convenience he’d proposed to Molly. “It doesn’t fit.”

“It’s only temporary. Until we find you the ring you want,” he said. “We can make a trip to Grand Rapids, to the jewelers, and you can pick out any ring you want.”

Maybe she could. But she couldn’t have it. Fingers trembling, she pulled off his ring and set it back on the tray alongside the vase and a plate of toasted homemade bread slathered with melting butter and jam. Her stomach churned again, as queasy as if she’d let Buzz and TJ spin her on the merry-go-round in the park. Her usually healthy appetite gone. “No, I don’t want a ring.”

“You just want a wedding band?”

She blinked back the tears blurring her vision of the ring as she stared at the tray he’d brought her. And she lied. It was easier than telling him the truth—less painful. “I don’t want a wedding.”

“What? I thought you loved me?”

She had never said the words, but apparently he’d learned her secret. She couldn’t deny her feelings. “I do,” she admitted. “I love you.”

“And I love you,” he said as he reached for her.

She pressed her palms against his chest, holding him back. “Nick was right.”

“What?” His brow furrowed with confusion. “What the hell does Nick have to do with this?”

“He said you fall in love too easily,” she reminded him. “He was right.”

“I fought falling for you, Brenna,” he said, his voice ringing with sincerity. “I didn’t want to make another mistake.”

She believed him. “But you did. You made a mistake thinking I’d fill in for Molly.” To be her second, her substitute.

“Molly?” he asked, as if perplexed. “What does she have to do with us?”

“Two weeks ago you were going to marry her,” she reminded him. “My best friend.”

“I didn’t love her.”

“But you were there—in the church.
You
didn’t go out the window. You were standing by the altar waiting for her. If she had walked down that aisle, you would have married her.” She swallowed hard. “You didn’t love her, and you don’t really love me.” Her voice hoarse, she accused him, “You’re just looking for a mother for your boys.”

“Brenna!”

Not that she didn’t want to be their mother. She loved them. She loved Josh. But if she settled for companionship and chemistry, she was setting a bad example for them and cheating herself.

“I love you, Brenna.”

She shook her head. “I thought I could get over the fact that you’d been about to marry my friend. And I probably could have, if we took this relationship slow and just dated, but that’s not what you want. You want marriage.
Only
marriage.”

“I want you. Only you!”

“Nope.” She shook her head, letting loose one tear from her brimming eyes. It streaked down her cheek. “You want a bride,” she said, pushing aside the tray to climb out of bed. “And I don’t want to be your bride.”

Not unless he loved her as much as she loved him. She couldn’t believe that was possible—for so many reasons.

He’d proposed three times in his life. Three more times than his best friend had thought wise. He wished only one of those women had accepted—the one who had actually turned down his proposal.

But if he hadn’t married the first woman, he wouldn’t have his children. And if the second woman hadn’t accepted his proposal, he never would have met Brenna—the woman he really loved, the woman who would never believe that he loved her and didn’t just want a mother for his sons.

Frustration had his hand shaking as he reached for his cell phone. “Hello.” A feminine voice emanated from the cell.

“This is Josh Towers…”

“Dr. Towers, I’m so glad you called,” gushed Mrs. Applewhite. “I was hoping that you would…”

“I’d like to meet with you,” he admitted. “But to discuss relisting the house.” Nothing else. He’d learned his lesson with women—he would never understand them. He could have sworn Brenna loved him, but apparently not enough to trust him—not enough to trust that he loved her, too.

The Realtor drew in an audible breath, obviously shocked. “You’re going to relist?”

“Yes.” He had finally accepted that what Nick had told him the day of the wedding-that-wasn’t was true. There was nothing in Cloverville for him. How ironic that Nick had found something there—a life, a love. But Josh had lost everything he’d wanted. Colleen wanted Nick to keep his condo in Grand Rapids, that was close to the hospital. Josh’s change in plans wouldn’t affect her and Nick. Only him and the boys. “And as soon as the office is done, I’d like to have you list that, too.”

A gasp was uttered behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to the female Kelly standing in the doorway between the mudroom and the kitchen. Not Brenna. He doubted she intended to come around him again. Her mother, with her wavy white hair and soft brown eyes, stood behind him. She must have dropped off the boys from the zoo. Instead of being tired from the trip, they were running around the backyard, squealing and giggling as they chased Pop. For an old man, he moved surprisingly fast.

“You’re not moving,” Mama said as if he was her son and he would be forced to obey her.

He spoke into his phone, “Mrs. Applewhite, I’ll call you back later.”

“Any time,” she offered.

“And set up an appointment to discuss business.” Business only.

“You don’t need an appointment.”

He clicked off his cell and dropped it onto the counter. “Mrs. Kelly.” He couldn’t call her Mama, not since he now wished she would be his mother-in-law. But he had no hope that she would ever be.

“Don’t Mrs. Kelly me,” she reprimanded him as if she was talking to one of his boys. “What’s this nonsense about your listing the office and the house?”

“I—I have to…”

“You have to stay in Cloverville,” she insisted. “Your sons are so happy. They love it here.”

His sons loved Brenna Kelly just as he did. Since she didn’t want to be part of the lives, wasn’t it better to make a clean break? Like their mother had?

Josh sighed. “I want more for them. I wanted to give them a real home. A real family.”

“This is your home, Josh,” Mama insisted. “This house. This town. This family. Pop and me and Brenna. We’re your family now.”

He had parents. Like Brenna’s, they were madly in love with each other, causing him to grow up under the illusion that he could one day find that kind of love for himself.

“I’ve grown really fond of all of you,” Josh admitted.

“Just fond?” Mama asked, arching a brow.

“Okay, more than fond,” he admitted, with a heavy sigh, “but it doesn’t matter. She can’t get past the fact that I proposed to Molly first.”

“Brenna has some self-esteem issues,” her mother shared.

“Brenna?” Josh snorted. “I’ve never met a more self-confident woman.”

“She’s a self-confident woman on the outside,” Mama agreed, “but somewhere deep inside she’s also the little girl who was called fat her entire childhood. She has accepted who she is, and she’s proud of herself. But because she endured so many insults and so much rejection, she doesn’t trust anyone but her family and friends to accept her.”

“I’d hoped we were friends.”

“You’re more than friends,” Mama said. “That’s why she will struggle the hardest to believe that
you
, of all people, accept her as she is.”

“That I love her,” Josh said. “She doesn’t believe that I love her.”

“And packing up and going back to Grand Rapids is going to convince her?” Mama scoffed.

Josh groaned. He’d figured Brenna would be happy if he left—and left her alone—since she didn’t believe in his love. Of course he hadn’t been thinking clearly. He’d been hurting too much from her rejecting his proposal.

“No, running away isn’t going to convince her,” he admitted with the same sense of guilt and shame he’d admitted to Mrs. Hoolihan that he, not Nick, had been the one to shoot the spit balls into Sally Kruger’s hair. Of course the woman, like Brenna, hadn’t believed him; she’d thought he’d only confessed to cover for his friend.

“No, running away is only going to make her think she was right,” Mama said, then sighed. “I don’t know what will convince her that you truly love her.”

“Your daughter is a stubborn woman,” Josh said, unable to keep from grinning. “But if you and Pop are willing to help me again, I think I might have another idea.”

Mama smiled and slapped her hands against his cheeks, squeezing like Nick’s grandma used to when Josh had been no bigger than his sons were now. “There’s my boy! You stay and fight or you’re not man enough for my daughter.”

“Oh, I’m man enough. I’m the only man for Brenna.” He just had to prove it to her.

U
NLIKE MOST OF THE BUSINESSES
in Cloverville, the bakery opened on Sunday but just for the morning. Brenna unlocked her office after one, when the bakery was closed and empty. She inhaled a deep breath of air, sweet with the lingering scents of cinnamon and chocolate and baking bread. She loved this place so much, but it wasn’t enough. She’d decided already that she needed more in her life—she needed Josh and Buzz and TJ.

Had she been a fool to reject his proposal? Should she have settled for the same loveless marriage he’d proposed to Molly? Except it wouldn’t have been loveless on her part. And she doubted she was strong enough to handle the disappointment of loving a man who didn’t love her back…

As she pushed open the door to her office, a noise drew her attention to the kitchen in the back. A clunk and a thud echoed down the hallway.

“Hello?” she called out.

Another clang reverberated. She recognized the clatter of pots and pans. Even though Cloverville was relatively crime-free, the bakery had an alarm system. An intruder wouldn’t be able to get inside. But she trembled slightly with fear as she walked into the industrial kitchen, nearly every bit of it shining stainless steel but for the sparkling white-tiled floor. A man bent over one of the counters, bits of red frosting spattered in his dark hair and a smear across his cheek.

Brenna’s heart slammed against her ribs. “Josh?”

He turned toward her. “Oh, you’re early. Just give me a minute.”

“I’m early?” She lifted an eyebrow. “This is my business. What are you doing here? I thought you’d gone back home.”

“I am home.” He tossed out the comment, his attention on whatever was on the table, not on her.

“What?”

“Well, not the bakery. This isn’t home.” He cursed his breath and smeared another trace of red frosting along his jaw. “But Cloverville. Cloverville is home.”

“But Mama and Pop said you were selling the house.” Her heart pounded harder—with hope. “And the office. That you had decided to move back to Grand Rapids. Or was that another lie?” She hadn’t thought so, not when Mama had backed up Pop’s claim.

“It
was
the truth.” He uttered a sigh of obvious self-disgust. “I had a weak moment.”

Brenna could identify. She’d had many weak moments around him. “So you were really going to list it? The house that we worked so hard on?”

He nodded. “That was why.
You
are everywhere—on every wall, in every hinge. How could I live in that house without you?”

“Josh…” God, she hoped he wouldn’t propose again. Because she was having weak moment and she just might accept. She just might agree to his marriage of convenience.

“You’re probably mad that if I wasn’t going to keep it that I hadn’t offered it to you first,” he said. “But I was mad at you.”

“Josh, you have to understand why I couldn’t accept your proposal. You barely know me,” she reasoned with him. “How can you be sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

His mouth lifted in a wicked grin as he insisted, “I
know
you.”

Her face heated. “Sure, we had sex. We shouldn’t have had sex…”

“We didn’t have sex,” he interrupted. “We made love. I love you and you love me. That’s why I proposed.”

She shook her head. “You don’t love me.”

“Why?” he asked. “Why
can’t
I love you?”

“Wh-what?” she stammered.

If Josh had had any doubts that an insecure little girl still lived inside this beautiful, confident woman, he had no doubts any more. “Why do you think I don’t love you?”

Her shoulders, bare since she wore a sleeveless green dress, lifted in a shrug. “We only met a little over two weeks ago.”

“In person,” he reminded her. “But we’ve been talking on the phone and e-mailing for weeks.”

“Planning your wedding to my best friend,” she said, her husky voice thick with irony.

“It should have been
our
wedding we were planning.”

“It w-was Molly’s wedding.”

“Oh, she made the decisions? She chose the color of the dresses, the flowers?” he persisted, then laughed when she shook her head, conceding that her friend had had no involvement.

She lifted her chin and insisted, “
You
chose the dresses, the flowers.”

He laughed again. “Like I chose the paint colors for my house.”

Her alabaster skin flushed bright pink, but then she shrugged again. “I can’t help that I have good taste.”

“Yes, you do.” Josh grinned. “You love me.”

“Stop saying that.”

“You’re not denying it,” he pointed out. “You’re just denying that
I
can love
you
. And I want to know why you think I can’t.”

“You’re just looking for a mother for your sons. That’s why you proposed to Molly,” she reminded him. “And that’s why you proposed to me.”

“I love Buzz and TJ,” he said, “so of course I would do anything to make them happy—even propose to a woman I didn’t love. I figured the friendship Molly and I had begun could develop into love. And that it would be less complicated and eventually stronger than a relationship begun on attraction only.”

“I know. You explained that.”

“I was right,” he said, proud that he hadn’t been wrong about everything. “A relationship begun with friendship is stronger, more secure than one based on lust alone.”

Brenna rubbed her forehead as if her head was spinning. “I don’t understand…”

“You and I began a friendship, through those calls and e-mails.” He’d loved the sexiness of her voice, and the humor of her witty e-mails. “I can’t tell you how much I looked forward to talking to you and how excited I was to meet you in person.”

He blew out a shaky breath at the memory of the first time he’d seen her, the sun glowing like fire in her red hair. “And then when I did, the attraction was instant. With you I found everything I was ever looking for.”

“A mother for your sons.”

He pressed a finger over her lips. “Don’t. You know me better than that. I was honest with Molly about my feelings. Why would I lie to
you
?”

Brenna closed her eyes tight, trying to control the rapid beat of her hopeful heart. Josh wasn’t a liar; she knew he’d only ever been honest with Molly and her. “Okay, maybe you do think you love me. But you were wrong before, about Amy.”

“I was young and stupid,” he said. “I know better now. I know what love is. I know what it feels like. I feel it for my children. I feel it for you.”

Despite keeping her eyes closed, a tear streaked from beneath one lid.

“And I feel it
from
you,” he continued. “I feel your love for me. If I can’t love you, why can you love me?”

“You’re perfect.” She opened her eyes and stared up into his face, as always awed by just how good-looking he was.

“You’re gorgeous,” she said. “And smart. And funny. And successful. You can have any woman you want.” Except for Molly. She suspected Molly wanted Eric. At least she hoped her friends would finally get together. “Why would you want me?”

“Oh, Brenna…” He reached for her, pulling her into his arms.

She pressed her palms against his chest, keeping herself from melting into him. “I’m not perfect, Josh. You’re a cosmetic surgeon. You’re used to perfection.”

“Yes. So I know it when I see it. You are perfect, Brenna, exactly as you are.”

“I’m real.” She repeated the compliment he’d given her, the one that had touched her so. “But you’ll get bored with that, you’ll want me to be something I’m not.”

Josh touched his forehead to hers. “Oh, Brenna. I love you—as you are. I wouldn’t change one thing about you. Well, except…”

She fisted her hands against his chest. “Except what?” Her hips probably.

“How damned stubborn you are. Or maybe your bossiness.” He shook his head. “No, I wouldn’t even change those. I love everything about you, Brenna Kelly.”

“I’m not going to lose weight,” she warned him. “I’ve tried. Diets make me ornery. I can’t run. I won’t jog. At the most I walk.” She shook her head. “No, I stroll. Mama and I take a stroll every night. Good for the heart, you know.”

“I know. I am a doctor,” he said.

“A plastic surgeon,” she said. “I’m not plastic. I’m never going to be Barbie.”

“I don’t want to marry Barbie. I want to marry you.”

God help her she was beginning to believe him. “Josh…”

“I thought you were so confident, so self-assured,” he
tsked
as if disappointed in her.