Forever Safe (Beacons of Hope) (6 page)

“Maybe you’ve been picking the wrong kind of men.”

“And I suppose you’re the expert on the type of man I need?”

“Maybe.”

“There you go being arrogant again and thinking you know everything about everyone.”

He bit back a smile. He was enjoying this spar with her far too much. These were the kinds of heart-to-heart conversations he was supposed to avoid if he wanted the wall to stay up between them, though. He crossed his arms and settled into the thick seat cushion. A few more minutes wouldn’t hurt, would it? The clatter of the horse hoofs on the cobblestone and the rattle of a nearby omnibus drifted in through the half-open window, bringing with it the waft of the delicacies served in the exotic restaurants they were passing.

He lobbed out his answer and waited for her to explode. “I know more than you think.”

She sat forward and fisted her hands in her lap as though to keep from reaching out and slapping him. “You might be smart about a lot of things. But you certainly don’t have me all figured out, even if you think you do.”

“You’re afraid of getting married.”

“That’s not true.”

“I can see the fear in your eyes.”

Her long lashes fell down and veiled her soul, but not before he’d glimpsed the truth.

He was right. He’d seen fear in her eyes from time to time. And he realized now that the fear wasn’t related to the attack. He should have guessed it had to do with her upcoming marriage. The signs had all been there—running away from two other fiancés, her shallow relationship with Nathaniel, a lack of enthusiasm.

Sure, she spent most her time planning for the wedding and honeymoon. And the last few days she’d been busy packing for the move to Newport. But all of it was a convenient distraction. A way to keep busy. So she didn’t have to think about the real issue. She was afraid of getting married.

But why? What drove her fear?

It wasn’t his place to ask. In fact, the entire conversation was out of place. But now that he’d started it, he needed to finish. “You should tell him,” he said, trying to gentle his tone.

Her lashes swept up, revealing her eyes again. This time they were luminous, the golden flecks mesmerizing, the vulnerability magnetic. “Tell him what?”

“That you’re afraid.” Tom held her gaze, hoping to infuse her with the courage she would need to face the task. “He’s a decent guy. He’ll understand.”

The carriage was slowing, and the surroundings told him they were nearing Delmonico’s.

“If you admit your fear to yourself and to him, then maybe this time you can face it instead of running away.” Even as he spoke the words to
her
, they hit
him
in the gut. He could dole out advice. But he wasn’t great at following it. He’d been running away from his past for ten years.

The rolling wheels jolted to a halt. Outside the carriage, Nathaniel’s voice was followed by Theresa’s laughter. The heart-to-heart moment with Victoria was over. But neither of them moved to open the door.

Finally, she surprised him by doing the last thing he expected. She reached across the carriage and took his hand into hers, folding her silky gloved fingers around his. She smiled up at him with the same kind of sweetness he’d seen her dole out to Theresa and Nathaniel and her parents. “Thank you, Mr. Cushman. Maybe I’ve misjudged you. Maybe you’re a nicer man than you’ve led me to believe.”

He shook his head. “No, I’m still the mean guy.”

Her smile widened. “I don’t believe you.”

“Just wait. You’ll hate me again soon enough.”

She released his hand and reached for the door. “You might act tough. But you can’t fool me any longer. Underneath you’re a big softy just like Arch.”

“Definitely not a softy.”

She winked. “I promise I won’t give away your secret.”

He was tempted to chuckle but held it back. Instead, he opened the door and poked his head out. He was back on duty. He’d do best to remember to stay that way, to keep the walls up, no matter how easy it would be to tear them down.

T
he bowls of fresh cut delphiniums on each of the elaborately set tables matched the color of the evening sky overhead. The scent of roasting scallops and lobster and oysters made Victoria’s mouth water in anticipation of the feast to come.

She loved Newport in the summer. She always had, even as a little girl when she’d built sandcastles, waded in the cold saltwater in her bare feet, and collected shells. Even now, as an adult, she enjoyed the months spent in the little seaside town visiting with friends, sailing aboard yachts, and having dinner parties on the beach.

“Your mother always does a beautiful job with her parties.” She allowed her shoulder to brush against Nathaniel’s arm.

“I told her to make this extra special for you,” he replied.

Guests mingled among the tables and along the shore of the private beach that belonged to the Winthrops. Their summer cottage sat back a fair distance from the water’s edge. Nicknamed
The Arbor
, the Italianate-style villa was three stories high and built of stately granite. A manicured garden with a center fountain graced the back of the house and provided a scenic ocean overlook. From the sandy shoreline, the house and garden were picturesque, perhaps even lovelier than the Cole cottage down the beach.

Victoria waved at Theresa, who was walking next to Phillip Smith. Although she was nodding at something he was saying, she was staring at Victoria and Nathaniel. Without waving in return, Theresa flipped her attention to Phillip and spoke to him as though he were the only one on the beach and the man just for her. Victoria could only pray he was.

She inhaled a deep, contented breath. The sea air was warm but pleasant, not yet containing the humidity that would come later in the summer. “Your mother is wonderful.”

“That’s because she adores you just as much as I do.”

She smiled up at Nathaniel. “I’m not sure anyone can adore me quite as much as you.”

“You’re right.” He tucked her hand more securely in the crook of his arm. He needn’t worry. She wasn’t going anywhere. Even though the tide was rising and the waves were sliding further up the wet sand toward them, she wasn’t ready to end their stroll and rejoin the others.

He leaned into her. “Have I told you yet tonight how much I love you?” His tone was low and intimate. It should have filled her with wonder and excitement. Instead, unwelcome trepidation crept into her stomach and nibbled at the lining.

After Mr. Cushman had told her she was afraid of getting married, she’d wanted to deny it. But she’d finally grudgingly admitted to herself that perhaps he was partly right. So she’d done as he’d suggested and had told Nathaniel she was having a few wedding jitters. Of course, Nathaniel had soothed her and told her that every bride-to-be was nervous, that it was perfectly normal, and that everything would work out just fine.

But she didn’t know if he believed his own words any more than she had. Ever since they’d had the brief conversation a few days after they’d arrived in Newport, he’d doubled his attention and gifts. She had no doubt he’d already been thinking about her two foiled engagements. Now with her admission, he was probably praying he wouldn’t be Victoria Cole’s third failed attempt.

She was praying he wouldn’t be either.

“I love you,” he said again, tugging her to a stop. He pulled a velvet box out of his vest pocket and held it between them. “This is just a little something to show you how much you mean to me.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she glimpsed Mr. Cushman standing in the shadows of one of the bathing machines that Mrs. Winthrop had provided for her guests. The roofed and walled wooden carts used by bathers to change into their swimwear were now pulled out of the water and rested in the thick sand. Even though Mr. Cushman had kept his distance, she knew he was well aware of every move she made. What would he think if she accepted another one of Nathaniel’s gifts?

It shouldn’t matter what her bodyguard thought. But after their discussion about Nathaniel, she’d realized that Mr. Cushman was not only exceptionally skilled at seeing exterior details, but he saw much deeper than that too. Despite the short time he’d been her bodyguard, he seemed to know her better than anyone else, including herself.

Her fingers brushed against the velvet. By taking the gift, would she only be fooling herself and Nathaniel into thinking that everything was satisfactory?

But it
was
satisfactory, wasn’t it? She
did
love Nathaniel. And she
would
marry him next week. Maybe she’d had doubts with the other two engagements, but she was more mature now. She’d come to understand that she couldn’t base a relationship on feelings alone because feelings of infatuation and adoration would come and go.

Instead, she’d realized that love was a choice she had to make, regardless of the feelings. She was choosing to love Nathaniel, be his helpmate, and encourage him as best she could. All the rest would fall into place eventually.

She took the box and gingerly opened it. Against the black velvet backdrop, a diamond bracelet glittered in the evening sunshine. She sucked in a breath. “Oh, Nathaniel, it’s gorgeous.”

“Not as gorgeous as you.” He carefully lifted out the jewels. The diamonds were in the shape of dewdrops and wrapped all the way around either side to the clasp. “May I?” He motioned toward her wrist.

She offered her hand to him. As he gently draped the bracelet around her wrist, his fingers brushed her skin. Desire flamed to life in his eyes. She willed herself to feel the same attraction at the brief contact, but instead her stomach growled, reminding her how hungry she was.

Nathaniel closed the clasp and reluctantly released her wrist.

She held it up, letting the sunlight reflect against the brilliant prisms. “Thank you, Nathaniel. I’ll treasure it always.”

Before she could protest or stop him, he reached for her hand again, brought it to his lips, and pressed a kiss against her fingertips. His mustache tickled her skin and made her want to giggle. But from the serious longing that tightened Nathaniel’s face, she guessed she’d only hurt him if she showed her mirth.

He straightened and released her hand, and she said the words he liked to hear from her. “I love you.”

At his ensuing grin, she knew she’d done the right thing. She’d made him happy.

“I see how you’re able to keep Victoria’s affection,” came a nearby voice.

She and Nathaniel turned to find Samuel Hildebrandt ambling with a friend. Her former fiancé’s eyes were hidden beneath the shadows cast by the brim of his silk top hat. But Victoria was sure they were shooting bullets.

She squirmed uncomfortably, her shoes sinking deeper into the sand. As Nathaniel’s third cousin, Samuel’s presence at family parties was inevitable from time to time. Nevertheless, things were always awkward between them, and she did her best to prevent confrontations.

“Maybe if I’d bought Victoria’s love,” Samuel said, “then I’d be married to her by now.”

Nathaniel let go of her, puffed out his chest, and took a step toward Samuel. “That’s an insult to Victoria. You know as well as I do that she has enough money of her own and doesn’t need me to buy her love.”

Victoria caught sight of Mr. Cushman pushing away from the bathing machine. She motioned to him not to worry about her, hoping he’d realize that she was perfectly fine. Samuel might resent their breakup, but he was the last person who would ever hurt her.

“Then admit it,” Samuel said, stepping away from his companion and starting toward Nathaniel. “You stole her away from me.”

“Maybe you never had her to begin with,” Nathaniel responded.

“Maybe you don’t either.”

Nathaniel and Samuel were now face to face. Nathaniel’s neck was turning red, a sure sign he was getting worked up. Usually he was a calm, level-headed man who didn’t let much bother him. But clearly, Samuel was goading him. “I think you need to concede defeat,” Nathaniel said, “and let go of Victoria once and for all.”

Anger etched lines into the faces of both men. She hastened after Nathaniel and reached for his arm to pull him back, to keep him out of harm’s way. Just as she caught hold of him, Samuel rushed into Nathaniel, wrapped his arms around his waist, and tried to tackle him. But instead of dragging Nathaniel down, Samuel only managed to propel him toward the water, pushing Victoria helplessly with him.

Amidst the wrestling, she found herself tangled in the train on her skirt. Before she could catch her balance, she fell backward and landed with a splash in the surging tide. A wave crashed around her, drenching her and leaving her gasping from the chill of the water.

She didn’t have time to react when a second wave hit her. The water had hardly pulled away before Mr. Cushman was there. As if she weighed nothing more than a sand dollar, he scooped her into his arms. His blue eyes were darker than she’d ever seen them—almost black. His forehead was creased, and his brows were furrowed into that irresistible slant.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

She coughed past the slight bit of water she’d swallowed. “I’m perfectly alright.”