Forever Starts Tonight (12 page)

Now it was like that life existed in a different universe. Now she didn’t just have friends or a job or a nice place to live. She had a family. She had two men who would make her laugh and buy her ice cream in the middle of the night and who would throw themselves on a sword to protect her and the life that could be growing inside her. She could barely hold all the bigness of that feeling at once without wanting to cry all over again.

It was like she was there again with her mother, finding those perfect sticks that would make the snowman just right on that perfect day with that perfect person who meant everything to you. That moment when you knew all in your world was just as it should be.

So now, trudging over the snow-covered ground, with Jace and Andre by her side, she knew she’d somehow stepped into that magical place again. The one where her mother was close and smiling at her because her daughter was finally happy.

She was loved again for real.

And when Evan woke up the next morning and the guys hustled her into the bathroom to take the pregnancy test, she had no fear as she watched the little window give the result.

No, when she saw that once-dreaded plus sign appear, all she felt was joy.

Three would become four.

A new forever would start.

And man, she couldn’t wait.

The silence of the baby monitor woke her. So many nights of that steady, whooshing sound made the quiet seem downright deafening. Evan rolled over, blinking awake with a soft groan. Her eyelids felt like she’d shoved sand beneath them and her head was pounding. She rubbed her eyes and the numbers on the clock swam in front of her. Past three in the morning. Lord, she’d just finished the last feeding forty-five minutes ago. She looked toward the dresser where the monitor was stationed. No lights blinked. Had she forgotten to plug the monitor back in? Maybe the thing had broken.

Didn’t matter now. She’d never be able to fall back asleep without checking to make sure everything was okay. She scrubbed a hand over her face and yawned. All right. Up and at ’em. The guys had both had long days, getting the new house put together and unpacking the endless amount of boxes that had gone ignored when Lucy came two weeks early, so Evan did her best not to jostle the bed when she climbed out. The room was pitch black, but she’d memorized where she hung her robe. She’d made this trek enough times over the last few weeks to know it well. She wrapped the robe around her and shuffled into the hallway.

The nightlight from Lucy’s nursery cast a soft glow on the honey-toned wood floors, and music drifted from the room. Man, she was completely off her game tonight. Had she left the lullabies playing, too? God knows sleep-deprivation caused her to forget her own name sometimes. Though, most of that was her fault. Jace and Andre had encouraged her to sleep when the baby was sleeping. But somehow she always found herself watching Lucy in awe as she slept. Okay, fine, she was also watching that little belly move up and down, her near constant fear that Lucy would stop breathing making her more than a little paranoid.

It had taken a lot of convincing from Jace and Andre for her to finally sleep in bed again instead of slumped in the rocking chair in Lucy’s room. They’d actually threatened to cuff her to the bed one night just to force her to get a good night’s sleep where she wouldn’t wake up in need of a chiropractor. She’d balked, but in truth she was glad she had the guys around to rein her in a bit. New parenthood could make anyone go crazy. And frankly, the guys could be as far gone as she was sometimes.

Which was why when she got closer to the nursery, she wasn’t surprised to hear that the music wasn’t the lullabies at all. It was Jace singing. She grabbed the doorframe, trying to keep quiet, and peeked inside the room. The sight inside made every inch of her fill up with soul-deep warmth.

Jace had taken her spot in the rocking chair and had Lucy cuddled against him as he sang Van Morrison’s “Crazy Love” to her. Lu’s little fist was balled against Jace’s bare chest, and she had this contented wonder in those big eyes as she stared up at her daddy’s face. Evan smiled. Her girl was such a junkie for skin-to-skin contact, even when she couldn’t get any milk out of the deal. Though, really, Evan couldn’t blame her. Her two daddies had lovely chests to cuddle against.

Jace looked up, catching Evan spying. “Hey, you’re supposed to be sleeping, mama.”

She crossed her arms. “You turned the monitor off. The silence woke me up.”

He smirked. “I did that so you could rest, but clearly, you’re hopeless.”

“I know.” She stepped inside and walked over to them. Evan ran her hand over Lucy’s fine tufts of dark hair. “She giving you trouble going back to sleep?”

“Nah, Lu just wanted a late-night chat. We’ve been discussing how she’s not allowed to be alone with a boy until she’s twenty-five.”

Evan smiled. “How very Victorian of you.”

“Hey, Andre said thirty, so I’m the reasonable one.”

Evan looked down at Lucy, the big green eyes blinking back at her a mirror image of Jace’s. “Lu, your teenage years are going to be so much fun with these two.”

“You get to obsess about things now. We get to do it later.”

Evan lowered herself to the floor and leaned back against Jace’s legs. “So Van Morrison, huh?”

“Well, she’s partial to indie rock, but I’m trying out some new stuff on her. Want to keep her on her toes.”

Evan sighed and closed her eyes, inhaling the scent of Jace and baby lotion—two things she never would’ve thought she’d smell paired together. “You’re really good at this, you know.”

“We’re just trying to keep up with you.” His hand threaded through Evan’s hair, stroking her scalp. “Plus, I love this.”

“Yeah?”

“Singing to a girl in the middle of the night while she stares adoringly at me and drools? I was born for this.”

Evan smiled. “And what if we have a boy next time?”

“Boys drool over him, too,” another voice said. Evan opened her eyes to find Andre lounging in the doorway, his hair sticking up every which way. “Looks like I’m missing the party.”

“Yes, we’re having a wild time. About to break out the nipple clamps and whips,” Evan said, patting the spot next to her on the floor. “Care to join?”

Andre sauntered inside, all sleepy sexiness, and settled down next to her. “Not tonight. We’re saving that for next weekend.”

“What?” She turned to him, unable to hide her surprise. Over the last few months, none of them had exactly had the energy for anything more that sleepy, half-exhausted lovemaking—and not very often at that. If not for the fact that there were three of them, it would’ve seemed downright vanilla. But she knew it was just a temporary phase. They were giving her time to adjust both physically and mentally to everything. But she couldn’t help smiling at the thought that maybe that was about to change. “Next weekend?”

“Yep. Cela has threatened that if I don’t let her babysit her niece soon, she’s going to tell my parents about that time I wrecked their car trying to drag race and blamed it on a deer. So she’s coming over Friday to watch Lu while Jace and I take you out for the night to The Ranch.”

“Really?” she asked, maybe a little too much enthusiasm in her voice. She knew that when the day came, she’d be all kinds of anxious leaving Lucy with anyone. But on the flip side, some adult time with Jace and Andre sounded heavenly.

Andre leaned over to kiss her. “Really. We never got to have a proper honeymoon celebration after the wedding since we needed to be careful with you. But now . . . well, now you’re fair game,
bella
. No more restrictions. And we’ve got lots of ideas.”

She sighed. “That sounds kind of amazing.”

“Good. Because we weren’t exactly giving you a choice in the matter.” He tempered the command with a tilted grin. “A night off is good for the soul.”

“I’ll be a nervous wreck leaving her.”

“And we’ll make sure to get your mind off all those things until there’s no room for worry. We’ve got some tricks you haven’t seen yet, you know,” Jace said from above her, his hand still stroking her hair.

“I have no doubt.” She linked her hand with Andre’s, rubbing her finger over his wedding band.
Husband
. In the end, Jace’s plan had involved her legally marrying Andre to get the benefits that came from being married to a cop. But the ceremony they’d held on Grant’s vineyard hadn’t distinguished whose name was on the marriage certificate. All three had exchanged vows together. They’d found an open-minded minister, who happened to be a member of The Ranch, to bless their union, and their family and friends had attended—none of them the wiser that there was a kink resort housed on the other side of the gorgeous property.

It’d been perfect and magical. A fairy tale. But the white dress, pretty flowers, and all the pomp and circumstance couldn’t compare to this moment. Here, huddled in the nursery in the middle of the night, bone tired and half delirious, with her guys and Lu surrounding her. This was all she ever needed.

Well, this and maybe those trips with them to The Ranch.

Because she was a mom. And their wife.

But she also was still their girl.

She’d always be their girl.

She reached up for Jace’s hand. “Lu asleep yet?”

“Yep. We’ve bored her.”

“Good.” She turned around until she was on her knees in front of the chair. “Then put her in her crib. I think it’s her mama’s turn to get a little skin-to-skin contact.”

Jace’s lips curled as he stood and lay Lu in her bed. “Are you going to drool on me, too?”

“If you’re lucky.” She got to her feet.

He turned and gathered her to him, his gaze so intent it made her chest constrict. “Oh, I’m lucky, Ev.” He pushed her hair away from her face and kissed her. “So. Damn. Lucky.”

And with that, he picked her up like she was as light as Lu, cocked his head at Andre, and all three of them went into the bedroom to remind themselves just how lucky they were.

And how sweet forever could be.

Dear Reader,

First, thank you for reading FOREVER STARTS TONIGHT. I hope you enjoyed discovering more about Jace, Evan, and Andre!

This has been a project that I’ve wanted to do for a while now. As soon as I finished writing MELT INTO YOU in 2011, something told me this triad’s journey wasn’t quite over. But I didn’t know if there was a place for a “beyond the happily ever after” story.

Then you guys began to email me. You wanted to know what was next for these three. What would happen with their unconventional relationship? You had many of the same questions that had been bouncing around in my brain. And that made me excited to write more about them and find out the answers. This novella exists because of your feedback and letters.

So, thank you. Thank you for reading my books and caring enough about the characters to want to know more.

Here’s to many more happy endings to come!

Roni

Read on for an excerpt from Roni Loren’s next Loving on the Edge novel

NOTHING BETWEEN US

Available soon from Berkley

12:35 A.M.—Spring

Georgia Delaune had never been particularly drawn to illegal activity. Or taking risks. Or, okay, fine—sexually deviant behavior. She was woman enough to admit what this was. So finding herself hiding in the dark, peering around the curtains of her second-story window with a set of binoculars, should’ve tipped her off that she was officially losing her shit.

But since moving into the house on Fallen Oaks Lane six months earlier, she’d known this moment was coming. Before now, she’d convinced herself that she’d only been catching inadvertent peeks and unintentional glimpses. Her neighbor would surely shut his curtains if he didn’t want to risk being seen, right?

She groaned, lowered the binoculars, and pressed her forehead to the window frame. God, now she was blaming the victim.
He gets naked in the confines of his own home. A home that’s on a treed corner lot with tons of privacy and a seven-foot-tall fence. How dare he!

This was so screwed up. What if he saw her? He could call the cops, and she’d be slapped with some Peeping Tom charge—or Peeping Tammy, as the case may be. That’d be an epic disaster. Especially when the cops found no information on a Georgia Delaune. Plus, afterward, she’d have to move because there’d be no facing her neighbor again. Not after he knew what she did at night. And there was no way in hell she was moving. It had taken too much time, effort, and planning to find this spot, to finally feel even a smidgen of security and safety. These walls were her only haven, and she had no intention of leaving them.

But despite knowing the risks, when she saw a lamp flick on and light glow in the window of Colby Wilkes’s bedroom, she found herself dragging a chair over to the window and lifting the binoculars to her eyes. It took a second to adjust the focus, but when the lenses cleared, the broad, wet shoulders of her dark-haired neighbor filled the view. Her stomach dipped in anticipation.

He wasn’t alone.

She’d known he had friends over. She’d seen the group going in when she’d closed her living room blinds earlier that night. Two women and three guys, plus Colby. Later, she’d heard water splashing and the murmuring of voices, so she’d gone into her backyard for a while to listen to the distant sounds of life and laughter. That world seemed so foreign to her now. Being surrounded by people, having friends over, relaxing by the pool. She couldn’t see anything from her backyard. Colby’s pool area was blocked by the house and bordered by trees. So she’d lain in her lounge chair out back, closed her eyes, and imagined she was a guest at his party, that she was part of that laughter. And she’d also found herself wondering what would happen afterward.

Now she knew. Colby had stepped into his bedroom, obviously fresh from the pool with his dark hair wet and only a towel knotted around his waist. And he had company with him. One of Colby’s friends, a tall blond guy who was also sporting a towel, had followed him in. And then there was a woman. She wore nothing at all. Georgia tucked her lip between her teeth, heat creeping into her face. She
so
shouldn’t be watching this. But she couldn’t turn away. She’d learned rather quickly that her dear neighbor, despite his affable grin, southern-boy charm, and straitlaced job, was a freak in the bedroom. Threesomes were only part of it. The man was dominant to the core. Considering her last relationship, that alone should’ve turned her off, sent her running. Guys who wanted control? Fuck, no.

But the first time she’d caught sight of Colby bringing a flogger down on a lover’s back, Georgia had been transfixed. At the time she’d been completely stuck on her latest writing project. But after watching Colby drive a woman into a writhing, begging state, Georgia had gone into her office, opened a new document, and written until the sun had broken through the curtains the next morning. Before she knew it, her thriller-in-progress had taken a decidedly erotic turn. Thankfully, her editor had loved the new direction. So now Georgia, in her guiltiest moments, told herself these stolen moments at the window were all in the name of book research.

Yeah. Even her sleep-deprived brain didn’t buy that one.

The guilt wasn’t enough to make her stop, though. Especially now when Colby was grabbing for the knot on his towel. She held her breath. The terry cloth fell to the floor at Colby’s feet, and everything inside Georgia went tight.
Holy heaven above
. She’d watched—oh, how she’d watched—but never before had she been able to see everything in such intimate detail. The binoculars transported her, took her by the hand and dragged her into that room with those strangers. Colby was right there in front of her—strong, beautiful, aroused. His hand wrapped around his cock and stroked ever so slowly, taunting her with unashamed confidence. No, not her. The woman. God, Georgia should look away. But need rolled through her like thunder from an oncoming storm, her fingers tightening around the binoculars.

The other man had stripped, too, and although he was gorgeous in his own right with his polished, camera-ready good looks, Georgia was drawn to the rough-around-the-edges brawn of her neighbor. Every part of Colby hinted at the wildness he hid beneath his surface—dark wavy hair that was a little too long, the close-cropped beard that shadowed his jaw, and a body that looked like he could bench-press a Buick. He was the opposite of the pressed and creased, Armani-clad businessmen she’d been attracted to in her former life. He was the guy you’d be wary of on first glance if you ran into him in a dark alley—the cowboy whose hat color you couldn’t quite determine straight away.

Perhaps that was why she was so fascinated with him, despite the fact that he was a man who wanted what she could never give. She’d learned that danger often hid behind the gloss of an urbane smile and perfectly executed Windsor knot. Colby was none of that. But regardless of the reason for her mixed-up attraction, she couldn’t stem the crackle of jealousy that went through her as the other man laced his fingers in the woman’s hair and guided her to take Colby into her mouth.

The view of Colby’s erection disappearing between the lips of some other woman was erotic. There was no denying that. But it also made Georgia’s jaw clench a little too hard. She could tell, even from the brief moments she’d been watching, that this woman belonged to Colby’s friend. They were a couple and Colby the third party. But it still activated Georgia’s
He’s mine, bitch!
reflex.

Georgia sniffed at her ridiculous, territorial reaction, and tried to loosen the tension gathering in her neck.
Sure, he’s yours, girl. You can’t walk down the street without swallowing a pill first, much less start something if he was even interested in the weird, spying chick next door.

But she shoved the thought away. She didn’t want anything tainting these few precious minutes. This wasn’t about finding a hookup. Only when she stood at this window did she feel even a glimmer of her former self trying to break through. This was her gossamer-thin lifeline to who she used to be, to the capable and confident woman who would’ve never hidden in the dark.

Before long, the blond man eased the woman away from Colby and guided her toward himself, taking his turn. Georgia tilted the binoculars upward, finding Colby’s face instead of focusing on the scene between the other man and his woman. What she found lurking in his expression wasn’t what she expected. There was heat in Colby’s eyes, interest for sure, but as she stared longer, she sensed a distance in those hazel depths. Like he was there with them but other . . . separate. Alone.

It probably was only because the other two were a couple. Or maybe it was Georgia’s mind slapping labels on things to make herself feel better. But regardless, it made her chest constrict with recognition. She didn’t know what was going on in his head. Or how seeing his friends together made him feel. But she knew loneliness. And for those few seconds, she was convinced Colby did, too. She pressed her fingertip against the cool glass of the window, tracing the outline of Colby’s face. Needing to touch . . . something.

The glass may as well have been made of steel, the yards between the houses made of miles.

But she couldn’t walk away. The night went on and there she sat, watching the three lovers move to the bed, the woman being cuffed to the headboard. The two men ravished her with hands and mouths and tongues. It was like watching a silent symphony, the arching of the woman’s back the only thing Georgia needed to see to know exactly how these men were affecting their willing captive. The melancholy feelings that had stirred earlier had quickly been surpassed by ones much more base and primal. Georgia’s body was growing hot and restless, her panties going damp.

When Colby braced himself between the woman’s thighs and entered her, Georgia trained the binoculars on his face, unable to handle the image of him having sex with another woman. Her mind was developing quite the ability to focus on the fantasy and block out the unwanted parts. She only had a view of Colby’s profile, but she watched with rapt attention as his jaw worked and his skin went slick with sweat instead of pool water.

Without giving it too much thought, she braced one elbow on the window ledge to hold the binoculars steady and let her other hand drift downward. Her cotton nightgown slid up her thighs easily. Somewhere her brain protested that this was wrong—sick and sad. She had a perfectly functioning vibrator in her bedside drawer. She had an imagination strong enough to fuel an orgasm without doing this, without watching the man next door screw another woman. But her starved libido didn’t seem to give a damn about morals or ethics or pride right now. There was need. And a solution. Simple as that.

As Colby’s lips parted with a sound she could only imagine, Georgia’s fingers found the edge of her panties and slipped beneath the material. Her body tightened at the touch and the little gasp she made reverberated in the dead silence of the bedroom. Colby’s head dipped between his shoulders, and Georgia imagined it was her he was whispering passionate words to. That deep Texas drawl telling her how good it felt to be inside her, how sexy she was, how he was going to make her come. He would be a dirty talker, she had no doubt. No sweet nothings from Colby Wilkes.

She closed her eyes for a moment as she moved her fingers in the rhythm of Colby’s thrust—long, languid strokes that had a fire building from her center and radiating heat outward. It wouldn’t take long. Her body was already singing with sensation, release hurtling toward her. But she wouldn’t go over alone. She forced her eyes open, the binoculars still in her grip, and found Colby again. His dark hair was curling against his neck, sweat glistening at his temples. And she knew he had to be close, too. Every muscle in his shoulders and back had tensed. All of her attention zeroed in on him, and in her mind, the touch of her own fingers morphed into his—his hands and body moving against her, inside her.

Every molecule in her being seemed to contract, preparing for the burst of energy to come. Her breath quickened, her heartbeat pulsing in her ears. And right as she was about to close her eyes and go over, Colby jerked his head to the side toward the window. His heated gaze collided with hers through the binoculars—a dead-on eye lock that seemed to reach inside Georgia and flip her inside out.
He knows
.

But she was too far gone for the shock to derail her. Orgasm careened through her with a force that made the chair scrape back across the wood floor. She moaned into the quiet, the binoculars slipping from her hand and jerking the strap around her neck. The part in the curtains fell shut, but she didn’t notice. Everything was too bright behind her eyelids, too good, to worry about anything else but the way she felt in those long seconds.
Enjoy. Don’t think. Just feel.
The words whispered through her as her fingers kept moving, her body determined to eke out every ounce of sensation she could manage.

But, of course, the blissful, mindless moments couldn’t last forever. Chilly reality made a swift reappearance as her gown slipped back down her thighs and sweat cooled on her skin. She sat there, staring at the closed curtain and listening to her thumping heart. Colby
couldn’t
know, right? His gaze had felt intense and knowing because the binoculars had made him seem so close. But her window was dark, her curtains darker, and the moon was throwing off enough light that it would make the glass simply reflect back the glow.

But her chest felt like a hundred hummingbirds had roosted there, beating their wings against her ribs. She wet her lips and swallowed past the constriction in her throat. She had to look. Would her neighbor be striding over here to demand to know what was going on? Would he be disgusted? Embarrassed? Angry?

God, she didn’t even want to think about it. She wanted to turn around, go to her bedroom, and hide under the covers. But that’s all her life had turned into now—hiding. And though she couldn’t fix that situation, she refused to create another one. So she forced herself to lean forward and peel the curtains back one more time, leaving the binoculars hanging around her neck.

What she saw made the hummingbirds thrash more. Colby wasn’t in the room anymore. His friend was now with the woman in the bed, and both seemed totally absorbed in each other. Did that mean Colby had left and was heading this way to confront her? She was about to go to the front of the house to check the yard but then paused when she realized nothing had changed about the view. Nothing at all. If Colby had been concerned about a nosy neighbor, he hadn’t bothered to close the curtains or warn his friends. Surely he would’ve done that.

She sat there, debating and worrying, but soon Colby returned to the bedroom. The man and woman had finished. Colby had on a pair of boxers and had brought clean towels in for everyone. He didn’t look concerned. He didn’t glance over at the window. He seemed perfectly relaxed as he helped untie the woman’s hands, kissed her forehead in a friendly gesture, and then left his friends to sleep alone.

Georgia let out a long breath, sagging in the chair.

He didn’t know.