Forever Wicked: A Wicked Lovers Novella (1001 Dark Nights) (18 page)

In some ways, those traits were the very ones that had drawn him to her, which probably made him sound like an idiotic loon. But he’d enjoyed the challenge of coaxing her from her shell. Gia’s independence coupled with her submissive nature had been so unlike anyone he’d met. The fact that she didn’t seem to give a shit about his fortune was refreshing. Hell, he respected it. She’d wanted money from their divorce, yes. It disappointed him, but the businessman that lurked in his brain said that in her position, he’d want the sum they’d mutually agreed upon, too. His attraction to Gia was everything he’d thought and still more he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Her loyalty, for sure. The way she so often put the people she cared about first.

Sadly, she’d never made him one of her priorities. So where did that leave him? Mooning over a woman who would never return half of his…what, sense of attachment? No. He’d mooned over some of his girlfriends in high school. What he felt was more than mere connection. Missing her now hurt like he’d lost something vital. A limb, maybe. But even more important.

Like his heart?

Jason downed another swallow of water, then huffed out a breath of air. Oh, shit. Was that even possible? He’d always believed that love was a fabrication, but what else explained why Gia would sacrifice so much of herself to help raise her niece and nephew? Risk her life to vindicate her brother? Worry so much about her parents’ reaction to their marriage? She genuinely loved those people, would do anything for them.

Maybe she hadn’t been able to love him because he didn’t understand the meaning of love. His parents had been lousy examples. Samantha would never have lifted a finger to help raise the children of a relative grieving the loss of a spouse. She would have cheered Wayman’s death and Jason’s method for bringing it about because she wouldn’t have had to get her hands dirty. She could simply spend another day at the spa, drink champagne, and think about how grand life was. Even his dad hadn’t been a shining example of devotion. Jason had never said anything, but he had zero respect for a man who would leave his wife and three kids because he’d been stupid enough to bang his secretary and knock her up. All his life, Jason had seen “love” exchanged for a new pair of shoes or a trip to anywhere exotic.

Before she’d ever taken a dime from him, Gia had proven that wasn’t love at all.

So what was it exactly?

Jason whipped out his phone and opened his browser to search. Dictionary results popped up. With a shrug, he figured that was as good a place to start as any.

1. A deep, tender, indescribable feeling of affection and care toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

That was a really convoluted way of saying he gave a shit about her way more than the average person and that he had a hard time explaining his feelings. Check.

2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.

Check, though those were really clinical words to describe the feelings unsettling him. He’d never felt anything like this and he didn’t have anything to compare it with. What her parents felt for one another? That had looked like love to him. When he’d seen Marco and Silvana, he’d been struck by an odd jealousy. Those two had been through hell together, would have done anything to make one another happy and whole. Jason couldn’t deny he wanted what they shared.

3. Sexual passion.

Um…like mad. He wanted his wife all the time. Check, check, check.

Well, shit. He was in love. What a fine time to realize it now that Gia was gone.

If his mother could see him now, she’d laugh her head off—after she’d asked him for money, of course.

Jason gripped the phone tighter. What did he do about this mess? He’d been angry with his wife last night. He’d tried to help her and keep her safe, and he’d been hurt. So he had thrown in the towel. But really, he couldn’t keep the relationship going for them. She had to want it, too.

Why didn’t she? Was he that unlovable?

As he ping-ponged mentally whether he should let her go and call his attorney or find another way to lure his wife to his side, his phone rang. He stared at the display.

Gia.

His heart stopped. But he could only make one choice.

He stabbed the button with his finger and answered. “Yes?”

“Jason, I need to talk to you.”

Her voice trembled, and he braced. Whether she felt guilty or angry or worried, she’d brought them to this place. Okay, he’d probably helped. Being decisive and in charge worked for him in business. It didn’t translate quite as well in marriage. His mistake, and he’d already taken note for future reference. That, and the fact that he fucking missed her, were the only reasons he’d answered her call now. But without calm, productive conversation…their marriage could only be heading one place.

“I’m listening.”

“Face to face. I can’t do what I need to over the phone.”

Do
, not
say
, he noticed. Had she decided not to wait the eight days until their anniversary to file for divorce? Most women wouldn’t pass up decent six figures just to be free a few days early. Gia? With her, anything was possible.

He could point out the pitfalls of bailing early on their agreement, but she was smart. She knew the score. And even if it made him foolish, he wanted to know what the hell was going on in her head. He wanted to see her, too. Might as well not kid himself. Besides, once she’d served him with papers and they started down the grand road to divorce, he wanted to look her in the eye and tell her that he loved her. In part because he knew he’d never feel like he’d given this his all until he did. And also because he wanted Gia to know exactly what she’d lost.

“When and where?”

“Four thirty. Lakeside Park, by the granite teddy bears.”

The park he’d taken her to early in their relationship for their first scene together, a semi-public one meant to open her submission and fulfill a fantasy. The same one in which she’d called her safe word and nearly ended everything between them for good.

Symbolism. Fabulous. He loathed that shit.

“I’ll be there.”

“Thank you. See you then.”

Before he could reply, she hung up. Jason cursed, then paced his empty condo. He had exactly eight hours to decide how to approach her.

Grabbing his gear, he left his place. Too many memories of Gia here pelting him now. He wished like hell he would have thought of that before he’d coerced her to stay in his home. He could have gotten a suite at the Crescent or something. But no. He’d wanted her in his personal space, in his bed, as if she shared his life. So she would experience what their marriage could be like.

Dumb ass.

Making his way out the door and to his Porsche, he drove the city aimlessly, past his boyhood neighborhood, past upscale shops and family neighborhoods. A pretty brunette pushed a stroller on the sidewalk, a napping toddler securely tucked in. The smiling woman looked visibly pregnant with another child.

Why couldn’t that be his life? His family?

Damn it, he sounded maudlin.

His phone rang again. He couldn’t see the screen while driving, but he pounced on it. “Gia?”

“Is that your wife or your latest girl toy?”

Samantha. He sighed. “Did you want something?”

“Well, I’m being a good mother this time and inviting you to my engagement party.”

Jason recoiled. “That was fast. The guy you met at Neiman’s?”

She sighed as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “Geoffrey is a wonderful man. You’ll like him. He takes such good care of me.”

Whatever. “What do
you
like about him? I mean, besides his bank balance.”

“Well, he’s charming, of course.”

“Do you love him?”

She gasped, affronted. “Would I marry anyone I didn’t?”

Only four other times. “Would you take care of him through thick and thin?”

“Jason, Geoffrey is ten years younger than me and in perfect health. Neither of us are on our death beds.”

And his mother was missing the point of the question completely, probably on purpose.

“Would you do anything to comfort him if he lost something priceless?” He couldn’t compare Gia’s unflagging support of her family after Tony’s death against his mother helping her next fiancé through a missing cuff link or whatever. The questions were soaring right over his mother’s head because she valued things far more than people.

She laughed off his questions. “I’m sure I’d find the appropriate words for such a moment and hand him a double Scotch. Where are you going with this?”

Jason winced and gave up explaining it to her. She had limitations, and he wouldn’t change her. But one thought resonated in his head over and over: If he let Gia slip through his fingers, he’d probably wind up with a new wife every five or ten years, each one much like Samantha.

The thought sickened him.

But he couldn’t control everything between them. He certainly couldn’t make her love him.

Fuck.

“When is the party?”

“Tonight at eight o’clock.” She rattled off an address, somewhere off of Mockingbird in Highland Park.

Old money. Naturally.

“I have a meeting at four thirty. If it wraps before then, I’ll be there.”

“Lovely. Don’t disappoint me.” Samantha hung up.

Jason ended the call and shook his head.

He felt sorry for his mother because she would never know anything deeper than the joy of pretty, shiny things for sale. She’d never really feel her heart. Moreover, he didn’t want to be like her. He wanted what Gia’s parents had.

He wanted Gia.

How could he impress that upon her when he saw her this afternoon? All his usual ideas—jewelry, handbags, shoes—took him in the wrong direction. She wouldn’t care about any of that. She wouldn’t take a trip to an alley with him, much less anywhere tropical and fabulous so that he could romance her unless she wanted to be with him.

Other than her divorce settlement, she didn’t seem to care about money. In fact, now that he thought about it, her agreeing to spend eighteen days with him for the cash seemed out of character.

Unless the money wasn’t for her at all.

He pounded on the steering wheel with a sigh.
Oh, hell.
He’d been so stupid.

But at least he knew what to do now.

A few errands and a lot of anxious waiting later, Jason pulled up at the park, locked his car, and headed toward their meeting point. The sun shined brightly, the thermometer edging toward the seventy degree mark as the last of autumn fought against a winter that would soon encroach. A few leaves still clung to the trees. Ducks swam in the nearby pond. Kids ran and laughed across the little stone bridge near the granite bears that served as monuments in the park. He’d grown up here and always thought of this place as a little slice of heaven, a refuge in the city.

Now being here just ate at his guts.

Jason glanced at his watch. Right on time. He looked around for Gia, leaning against a little railing, hoping like hell he’d made the right decision.

As he second-guessed himself, Gia approached in a pair of faded jeans, a simple coral-hued T-shirt paired with a beige sweater, and flip-flops. What she didn’t wear was her wedding ring or a smile. Jason couldn’t stop the anxious slide of his stomach to his toes.

He didn’t want a goddamn divorce.

“Hi,” she greeted. “Thanks for meeting me here.”

He wanted to hold her. Fuck, he wanted to take her, possess her, convince her that she was his and always would be. But she put off a vibe that gave him pause. Not a fuck-off sort…but not precisely welcoming, either.

“Of course. What’s on your mind?”

She drew in a not-quite-steady breath—a hint that she was nervous, too. “I’ve given everything that happened recently a lot of thought. I’ve made some decisions and taken some action.”

Here it came, Gia telling him that she’d filed. He clenched his jaw, braced for the worst, and resolved to at least listen before he spoke. Then he intended to fight like hell. She might not see it yet, but they were right for one another.

“We made an agreement before I came back to you. I am determined to keep up my end of things, so I’ll return for the next eight days if you want.”

“Because you want the money from the divorce settlement?”

“Yes.”

“So…you haven’t filed yet?”

“No.”

Thank God for that. “Then what? You plan to hire an attorney and just…go on with your life as if this never happened?”

“No,” she said softly. Her expression broke, and he watched her fight tears.

It took everything inside Jason not to intervene and comfort her, to reach out and try to make everything okay.

“Then what?” He frowned at her, not understanding. “Explain.”

“I won’t be the one to file. I can’t stop you if that’s what you want, but…” She shook her head, tears gathering. “I’ll never make the first move to end our marriage. I tried for a year to go on as if we never happened. I already know it’s not possible.”

His chest seized up. Breathing stopped. His heart thundered furiously. “Are you saying you don’t want a divorce?”

“No.” She emphasized her answer with a shake of her head. “I’ve given this a lot of thought. You’ve been trying to show me affection in the way you know how, with gifts. It’s not an insult, and I have to stop being too proud to see that.”

Gia
had
been thinking.

Relief poured through him. “I never once tried to hurt or offend you.”

“And you’ve gone out of your way to help me. Trying to have Wayman arrested is a good example. I might not like your methods, but you meant to keep me safe and eradicate him from my life all at once.”

“Two birds, one stone. I’ve been telling you my motives for a while.”

“You have, and I…” She shook her head and curled her fingers together nervously. “I can’t hate you for that.”