Forged in Ice (2 page)

T
here were more
thoughts going through my head than I could count. Ainsley was with me. She had given herself to me in the most intimate way possible—twice, but I could not come completely clean to her. The truth would send her running, and she could no longer do that. She was bound to me in a way no one ever should be. I would find a way to reverse what my father did, but it would not be easy. I needed time, and all I could do was hope Ainsley would give me that.

I never wanted to leave the bed, but I knew we had to. The sooner I had her safe with Charlotte, the sooner I could start working on a plan. I found I could not think straight with Ainsley lying naked in my arms. My thoughts were too jumbled and tangled up with needs and desires.

“Am I correct to assume you don’t have modern plumbing in your house?” She curled up against me.

“I am afraid not, but we can get over to the castle in minutes.”

She seemed to debate things for a minute. “If I’m going to be spending a lot of time here, you’re going to have to change that.”

“And you will be spending lots of time here.” Every night. Well, unless we were in the castle. I was fine with that too, although I would always prefer my own home.

She sat up and pulled the blanket with her. “I guess I’m getting back in that same dress again.”

“We can find you plenty of other clothing. But for right now, it is all I have besides my clothes.”

“I’ll stick with the dress.” She stood and started to dress.

I helped her tie her dress without worrying about my own clothing.

She turned and looked at me. “You’re still naked.”

I looked down. “I am.”

“You helped me before getting yourself dressed.” Her eyes were wide.

“I will always see to your needs first.” I would do everything in my power to ensure her happiness and wellbeing.

“Which is sweet, but you could have put your pants on.”

“Seeing me naked makes you uncomfortable.”

She shook her head. “No. I’m just surprised.”

“Then why are you averting your eyes?”

“I have to get used to it.”

“You do. You are going to be seeing a lot of this.”

“I know I am.”

I stepped into my pants. “I am guessing you want to find breakfast at the castle?”

“What’s the alternative?”

“I can make something here, but the food will be better there.”

“The castle then, but I need to use whatever it is you use as a restroom.”

I pointed out back.

She made a face. “Ok. I can do this.”

“I will be sure to have the plumbing taken care of for you.” I would make it a priority. I wanted to make her feel comfortable in my home because it was going to be her home now too.

I finished dressing while I waited for her to return.

A few minutes later she walked back inside. “Not as bad as I expected.”

“I am glad to hear it.”

I had not heard my father’s voice again, and part of me wanted to believe it had all been my imagination. I adjusted the neckline of her dress. The mark of my family name was still there. Somehow I needed to figure out if the mark was a normal part of becoming a kindred. The question was how I could do it without arousing anyone’s suspicion.

“Do I have something on me?” She turned her neck to see what I was touching.

“Nothing to worry about.”

“What is it?” She touched the spot. “What is that, James?”

“You are my kindred.” I had not spoken the word out loud until now.

“But I’m not from here.” She shook her head. “It makes no sense. We didn’t kiss before or anything weird like with Liam.”

“You know what it means? The significance of being my kindred?”

“Yes.” She nodded. “At least what Samantha has told me. I was meant for you in some way, and we’re connected. And I won’t age the same way I normally would have.”

“That is most of it, but do you also know how rare it is? How unlikely?”

“Yes. Which is why I don’t understand how it’s possible. Maybe you’re wrong. Maybe I’m not.”

“At one point I would have agreed with you, but not now. You are my kindred, I can feel the connection, and the mark is further proof.”

“Is it obvious?” She struggled to see it. “Samantha didn’t warn me about a mark.”

That did not mean anything. Samantha might have been sparing her the details. It could still be normal. “No. It is barely noticeable. It is more a touch thing. Plus, it is under your clothes. “

“Yet another reason I can’t go streaking.”

I laughed even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. I had to keep things normal. “Exactly. I did not even know about the marks before. It must be a private thing between a Guardian and his kindred.”

“But then how do you know it means anything?” She wrinkled her brow.

“It was not there before, was it?” I should have kept quiet. There was no reason to worry her more than necessary.

“What does the mark look like?” She touched it again.

“Remember that mark I recognized on the paper?”

“Of your family name?” She narrowed her eyes.

“Yes.” I forced myself to keep eye contact even though I wanted to do anything but that.

“You marked me?” Her face reddened.

“No.” I shook my head. “I did not mark you. It happened naturally.”

“I need a mirror.” She put her hand over the spot.

“There are none here.”

“You don’t have a mirror?” She tilted her head to the side.

“No.”

“Then how do you shave?”

“I shave.”

“Ok.” She closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. “Thank you for telling me about the mark.”

“What?” I startled. “You are welcome?” I was waiting for the anger. I had seen a brief glimmer of it when she first touched the mark, but she had relaxed into the idea far faster than I had expected.

“I should be mad, but I’m not. I have no idea why.”

“No one is going to see it, and I promise I did not do it on purpose.”

“You are promising without me asking you to?”

“I guess so.” I smiled. I was not sure whether to be worried or relieved by her easy forgiveness. Was her anger going to come later?

“How do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Smile and make me feel that way.”

“What way does it make you feel?” I hoped it was a good thing.

“Like I could melt into a pile of goo on the floor.”

“That is good, right?”

“Mostly.” She smiled.

“Come here.” I held open my arms, and she fell right into them.

“Of all the promises you’ve made, the one you have to keep is not leaving me. I’d be flipping out without you.” She bit the corner of her lower lip.

“Then make me the same promise.” I looked right into her eyes.

“You worried about being left in your own home?”

“No.” I shook my head “I am worried about being left without you.”

“If I didn’t run when I found out about the mark, why would you worry? You’re kind of stuck with me.”

“Promise me anyway. Promise you are not going to run off no matter what happens.” I was asking for the promise for both of our sakes. As much as I was doing it for her safety, I was also doing it for myself. I could not live without her.

“I promise.” She placed her hand over my heart. The touch sent a burst of warmth through me.

“All right, let us do this before I change my mind and take you back to bed.”

She grinned. “At least I’m not the only one worried about that.”

“You are definitely not the only one.” I wished she would understand the need was anything but one sided. She seemed embarrassed about her feelings, and I never wanted her to feel that way.

I put on a shirt and took her hand in mine. “To the castle?”

“One of these days that will stop sounding crazy.”

I smiled. “Eventually you will get used to it.”

We walked slowly toward the castle. I wanted to get things moving, but I had no excitement over giving up my alone time with her. I did not like the idea of sharing Ainsley’s time, even if it was with my friends.

I needed to get a grip. I was usually level-headed, but something about Ainsley made it impossible for me to think straight. Or maybe it was my father. Maybe he was messing with my brain. I could not ignore that possibility, or the thought that it was a combination of both of them. Normally I would have gone to Charlotte for advice, but that was not an option this time. I hoped Charlotte would believe me, but if there was any chance she would separate me from Ainsley, it was a risk I could not take. I would have to fix things on my own, or by sharing only select details.

We reached the stone castle and walked up to the heavy wooden doors.

“Good morning.” Henry grinned when we walked inside the Winthrop Castle.

“Do you have nothing better to do than stand here and wait for us?” I teased him.

“Who said I was waiting for you?” He cocked his head to the side.

“Then who were you waiting for?”

“Liam. He called me over.” Henry stole a glance at Ainsley before returning his gaze to me.

“Where is he?” The castle was quiet which made me doubt Liam was around. He usually kept things lively.

“I am not his keeper. He left word for me to show up. If he did not call you in, my guess is he wanted to give you and Ainsley some alone time.”

“Why would he do that?” I asked with suspicion. What did Liam know?

“Because you found your kindred.” Henry broke into another grin.

“How do you know?” Ainsley wrapped her arms over her chest.

Henry grinned bigger. “And she even admits it!”

“Henry,” I warned. I put a hand on Ainsley’s back.

“Samantha and Charlotte both said it was true. I have learned to trust those two.”

“Where are they?” Ainsley looked uncomfortable.

“Charlotte is in the dining hall. I have not seen Samantha yet today.” Henry finally removed the grin from his face. “I am sure that Charlotte would love your company.”

“Do you mind if I find them?” She looked up at me.

“Go ahead. It is down the hall and on the left. I will meet you once I find out what is going on with Liam.”

“Ok.” She squeezed my hand before letting go.

I pulled her back and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled before hurrying off toward the dining room. I was grateful she felt comfortable enough in the castle to find Charlotte herself. I wanted her to get used to being in Belgard.

Henry watched Ainsley’s retreating figure with me. “You are a lucky man.”

“Do not start.”

“Why? You are lucky.” His words were wistful, and I knew he was thinking of a girl he had left behind.

“You will find someone one day.”

He shrugged. “This is not about me. It is about you.” He winked.

“She is amazing.” Luck was not the best way to describe my situation, but it was the way to describe having Ainsley. “I am lucky to have found her.”

“And you found her in such an unlikely way. It must have been fate at work, but what I cannot understand was how? She is not of Energo.”

“The Source does strange things sometimes.” It was a weak excuse, but I had no explanation for the occurrence. Maybe if nothing else of consequence was plaguing me I would have been focused on that detail, but it was second to discovering a way to get rid of my father once and for all.

“But she is your kindred? You two were not jesting?” He watched me carefully.

“She is mine.” I was past worrying about my possessive words. As a fellow Guardian, he would understand.

He grinned. “I never thought I would live to see the day when you cared enough about a soul to call it yours.”

“Things change.”

“Evidently.”

The door flew open and Liam strode in. “Good, you’re here too.”

“Nice to see you as well.” I nodded in acknowledgement.

“Let’s talk over in the courtyard.” Without waiting for us to agree he headed for the interior courtyard. He was accustomed to being in charge.

“I need one minute.” I walked down the hall toward the dining room and looked in while trying to keep myself partially hidden behind the door. Ainsley was seated with Charlotte chatting about something. She smiled before taking a small bite of food. She was fine, I reassured myself.

Liam and Henry were waiting for me by the entrance with huge grins.

“What?” I stopped beside them.

“You were checking on her.” Henry laughed. “Where is the real James hiding?”

“What does it matter that I checked on her?”

“You were truly worried about her safety inside the castle?” Henry raised an eyebrow.

“He wasn’t worried about her safety. He was worried she would need him.” Liam ran a hand through his thick reddish-brown hair.

I wished he were right. I wished I were only worried about that. “But she is fine, so we can continue to the courtyard.”

“Were the girls right?” He turned his head to the side.

“About what?” I feigned ignorance.

“Yes. They were.” Henry grinned.

I glared at him. “Focus more on your own business.”

“I have nothing to focus on.”

I frowned. “Quit the dramatics.”

“All of this is thrilling and all, but we need to talk. Kevin and Nathaniel are both unavailable, so it’s just us this morning.” Liam continued toward the courtyard.

This time I followed. Whatever Liam needed to share was important, especially because it most likely related to my own concerns.

The courtyard was empty, exactly as I expected it to be. The Guardians were the only ones who used it. Charlotte preferred the more private balconies off many of the rooms on the second floor. She had adapted to life in Energo easily, at least she seemed to. I wondered if Ainsley would be the same way. Only time would tell.

I
liked Charlotte
. I’d decided that when I first met her, and the more time I spent with her the more my original assessment proved true. Despite her position of power, there was nothing haughty nor arrogant about her. She seemed genuinely glad for my company, and considering how crazy my life had become, I was glad for some comfortable company as well.

She rose to her feet as soon as I entered the room. “Good morning.”

“Good morning.” I gestured to her chair. “Please, sit down.”

“If you insist.” She returned to her seat after pointing out the buffet that spanned two table lengths at the back of the room. “Get some food, and then we’ll chat.”

I looked at the table filled with an assortment of pastries, cheeses, fruits, and something I assumed was an egg.

“It’s all good. Especially the pastries.”

“Any in particular you recommend?” You could never go wrong with something sweet.

She turned in her seat. “The ones with the powdered sugar are full of a fruit filling that is the closest thing to raspberry we have here. They remind me of those raspberry thumbprint cookies.”

“Oh. I’ll try one.” I took her advice and put one of the pastries on my plate along with some of the fruit I recognized from my breakfast with James and the eggs.

“Good choices.” Charlotte smiled when I sat down across from her at the long wooden table.

“I’m not interrupting you am I?” I gestured to the hardcover book that sat next to her.

“Not at all. I can finish this later. I’m glad you could join me.”

“Do you usually eat breakfast alone?” I couldn’t tell if my question was rude or not. I was surprised that the queen, or equivalent of queen, would be eating by herself.

“Liam generally joins me, but something came up. I’ve learned not to ask questions unless I need to.”

“So you let him make the decisions?”

She took a bite of a pastry on her plate. “When it comes to security, yes. I have enough to do on my own. If it was something urgent, he’d let me know. It’s his job to make sure I’m safe, and he tends to run on the over protective side.”

“How are you feeling?”

She smiled as if having someone ask made her think of the pregnancy. “Pretty good. I’m still waiting for the sickness part to kick in more.”

“Not everyone gets sick when they’re pregnant.”

“No, but I’m preparing for the worst.” She smiled.

“That can be a healthy attitude.”

“How was your evening?” She switched the conversation over to me quickly.

“Interesting.”

She grinned. “Is that how you describe it?”

“Is it that obvious?” I put my hand over the spot on my collar bone even though my dress covered it.

“To me, but I’m the Essence. Maybe I am more sensitive to those sorts of things.” She smiled in a way that made me wonder if she was joking.

“That doesn’t make it less embarrassing.” I looked down.

“I’m happy for you guys, but I don’t understand it. And that worries me.”

I picked my head up and met her eye. That wasn’t the response I was expecting. “The whole I’m not from here thing?”

“Exactly. I was up half the night talking to Liam about—”

“Wait. You were up worrying about James and me?” I put a hand to my chest. “I’m so sorry. You need sleep. You’re pregnant.”

“I’m fine. I’m up half the night a lot.”

“But you have more important things to worry about.” I didn’t like anyone worrying about me, let alone a pregnant queen.

“James is my best friend aside from Liam. His happiness means a lot to me, but beyond that he’s on my Guard.”

“Him having a kindred could mess things up for you?” I still didn’t fully understand the significance of a kindred.

“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t mean it like that. What I mean is that there has to be a reason for you being his kindred. Not all Guardians have them. And you aren’t from here, which confuses me. There has to be some connection.” She fiddled with her fork, but didn’t pick up any food.

“Wouldn’t you know? I mean you are the Essence and all?”

She laughed. “If only that meant I knew
everything
.”

“You know a lot.”

“Only the Source knows everything, but that’s a topic for another day.” She set aside the fork and folded her hands in front of her on the table.

“What should I be doing? I want to stay out of everyone’s way.”

“You’re in no one’s way.”

“But I’m sure you have things to do.”

“I do, but nothing you can’t be part of. Besides, I’m sure James is going to whisk you off for some exciting adventures later. Considering he checked in on us already, he isn’t leaving you for long.”

“He checked on us?” I hadn’t seen him.

She laughed. “He tried to be stealthy, but I caught a glimpse. It’s cute.”

“Normally that would annoy me. I don’t like a guy who thinks I can’t protect myself.”

She brushed her hair off her shoulder. “It’s not that you can’t protect yourself. He cares about you. I’ve had to learn protectiveness isn’t always bad.”

“I guess you’re kind of an expert on it.”

“A little bit.” She smiled slightly.

I turned to my plate and tried the pastry Charlotte had recommended. It was as amazing as she said it was. Once I started eating I realized how hungry I was. I moved onto the fruit next.

“You are more than welcome to go on up and take a bath and change if you’d like after this. Samantha left pants for you, so you have plenty of options.”

“Oh, awesome. Running water.”

She laughed. “It’s the little things.”

“I told James he’s going to have to get his house plumbed if he wants me to stay there.”

“Well, you two are always welcome in the castle.”

“You really care for him.” Her affection for him was obvious, and luckily that seemed to extend to me. Either that or she liked to be a good hostess.

“Our relationship started off on shaky grounds, but we’ve grown close over the years. He’s like a second brother in many ways.”

“I heard about the rocky start. Him bringing you here in the first place…” I decided to see what I could learn. She was easy to talk to and seemed open.

“He was misguided. There is no question about that. He thought he was doing the right thing. It’s hard to defy our parents.”

“Was his dad as bad as I’ve heard?” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear her response.

She paled. “Blake was darkness itself. But don’t let that change your opinion of James. The two are nothing alike. James turned his back on his father and helped us save Energo. He’s proven himself to my family and this world time and time again.”

“I wouldn’t be with him if I didn’t know that.” Or would I? Maybe whatever supernatural forces were at work to create the kindred bond, or whatever, had messed with my ability to read people. Even if I knew he was bad, could I really walk away? That thought sent a shiver through me.

“Are you okay?” Charlotte’s words snapped me out of my thoughts.

“I’m fine. Sorry.”

“Are you sure?” She glanced over toward the doorway. “You can tell me anything you want to. James is my friend, but that doesn’t mean I’ll tell him your secrets.”

“This isn’t about James exactly. It’s more the whole kindred thing. I don’t really understand it.”

“Do you want to understand it?” Her face lit up.

“Do I?” I asked tentatively.

“You do. Finish eating, and then I’m going to show you something really cool.”

“Ok…”

“It’s not scary, I promise.”

“Who said I was scared?”

“The expression on your face. You’re nervous.”

“This whole situation makes me nervous. I’m out of my element in every way.”

“Yet you don’t seem to be. You’re eating our food, wearing our clothes… Wait I forgot you need to get washed up first. That will give me time to get some work done.”

“Should I use the room I used the other night?”

She nodded. “Do you remember how to get there?”

“Yes. I remember.” I finished eating and then headed up the grand staircase to the second floor. I made my walk slowly, trying to take in all the details I’d been too frazzled to take in last time. Like the lacquered wood of the railing, and the beautiful landscape painting that ran up the whole length of the wall. The castle was old, yet it wasn’t dated. It felt comfortable and familiar in a strange way.

I counted down the doorways until I found the room I’d been staying in. My now clean clothes I’d arrived in lay neatly folded at the foot of the bed. Charlotte had mentioned Samantha dropped off pants, and I found those in the wardrobe. I glanced at my jeans, the dresses, and the new pants. The borrowed pants would be the most appropriate medium between wearing my own clothes that might make me stand out too much, and the dresses that although were beautiful I’d discovered were hard to move in.

To my delight I also found fresh undergarments. I was thankful I wasn’t the first girl from my world to show up at the castle. At least I had the basic things I needed.

Taking my bath was far easier when I wasn’t limping, and I was even able to shave. When I got out twenty-minutes later I was feeling like myself again—yet at the last minute I set aside the pants and put on a dress. I was feeling good, and that made me want to look my best. I pretended it had nothing to do with James’ preference, but I knew it did. That thought should have annoyed me, but it didn’t. My feelings were chaotic, but overall I was excited. The fear I should have felt had somehow been buried under much more exhilarating emotions.

After brushing my teeth and managing to button up enough of the back of the dress myself, I headed downstairs to find Charlotte. In my hurry to take a bath I’d forgotten to ask her where we were to meet.

I looked into the dining room and found it empty. I searched around the area, surely they wouldn’t have left me completely to my own devices. I considered heading outside, but I didn’t want to get myself into more hot water. Instead I headed back upstairs to my room.

I counted the doors again before I found my own. I paused before the door next to mine. There was a fresh bouquet of blue flowers laying on the floor in front of it.

I tried the handle, and surprisingly it turned under my hand. I had expected it would be locked.

I looked inside the room. A large four poster dark wood bed was pushed against one wall, while a desk was pushed against the other.

Otherwise the room was empty.

“This was my uncle’s room.” Charlotte’s voice came from the doorway behind me.

I turned. “Sorry.” I stepped out. “I don’t know why I came in here.” Snooping wasn’t usually one of my vices.

“It’s okay. He isn’t around to use it, and none of us can stand to change anything here.”

And then I felt even worse as I realized she wasn’t talking about him being on a trip. Her facial expression and voice said it all, and the flowers outside the door suddenly made sense. He was dead. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, it wasn’t your fault.”

Without her saying another word, I knew it was someone else’s fault. “I am still sorry to hear of your loss.”

She sighed. “He was an amazing person. You’d have liked him. Everyone did.”

“Did he spend most of his time here or in our world? I mean my world. You know.”

“He’s from here, but he lived in Charleston for years. He actually coached the basketball team at my high school.”

“Wait, is he the uncle that Kevin said also played for the Tar Heels?”

Charlotte smiled. “Yes. Uncle Monty. I was pretty young when he played, but he talked about it a lot, especially when Kevin started to play for them.”

“You have a very athletic family.”

She laughed.

“What?”

“So you still don’t know everything about my Guardians yet.”

“No. Only the bits and pieces I’ve been told.”

“A Guardian is always incredibly strong and fast, so it makes them predisposed to be good at sports. Next time you see Liam ask him about his basketball transformation.”

“What?”

“Ask him. He’ll enjoy telling you about it.”

“Ok…”

“Anyway, James is really athletic too of course, but sports aren’t his thing. He didn’t spend enough time outside of Energo for that part of our culture to rub off on him, although Henry spent even less time, and he loves basketball.”

“Henry seems nice.”

“He is. He’s grown up a lot in the past few years.”

“I bet all of you have.”

“True. Very true.”

“Did I give you enough time to get everything done?”

“Oh. Yes. Absolutely. Ready to do some exploring with me?”

“Yes, but could you do that top button?” I lifted my hair.

“Sure. I’m impressed you stuck with the dress.”

“It seemed the most fitting.” I wasn’t about to admit I did it partly for James. I wasn’t going to be that girl, particularly not to someone as strong as Charlotte.

“You look nice, and they are surprisingly comfortable. I never thought I’d say that.”

I laughed. “It’s funny how our perceptions change in life.”

“Very true.” She stared into the room, and a series of emotions crossed her face. I wondered if she felt things more strongly because she was the Essence, and I found I cared far more than I would have thought. There was something about Charlotte that made her impossible not to like. I hoped that was a real and genuine feeling and not something supernatural.