Forget About Midnight (22 page)

“I know. I spoke with him a while ago.”

My heart sank. It was really happening. He was leaving. How many people in my life would I end up driving away? He wasn’t even the first.

Kale was quiet for a moment. There was no background noise, indicating he was at home rather than spending the day at The Wicked Kiss. It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did.

“Truth be told,” he said, “the more I think about it, the more I’m looking forward to Las Vegas. Jenner and I discussed the issues there. I feel like it will give me something positive to work toward. Keep me busy, you know?”

Las Vegas had many problems, including a vampire blood ring that had been trafficking humans, all kinds of humans, even kids. Arys and I had done what we could to throw a wrench into all that, but it was something that couldn’t be dealt with in just a few days. We’d left Jenner in charge of taking over the blood ring and making changes, such as supplying humans that deserved it, evil doers contributing nothing to society. Jenner had been reluctant, but with Kale along for the ride, I was confident they could achieve good things for Sin City.

“You’ll be good for that city, Kale. I’m sure of it. Our loss will be their gain.” I moved through the house, ensuring the blinds were closed and drapes were drawn.

He chuckled, a self-deprecating laugh. “I sure hope so. It’s not like I’ve done much of value here.”

We both fell silent. I returned to the living room feeling restless and scatterbrained. “I’m taking Jez on a hunt tomorrow. Want to come along and watch our backs? For old times sake?”

“You know I do.”

Perhaps it wasn’t the best plan to bring Kale along. We used to make a great team, and this could be our last big hurrah. And I was certain that, if I didn’t need it, then Jez surely did.

After we hung up I called Jez to make arrangements for her to join me while I scouted out the address Brinley had given me. If I didn’t do something good soon, the dark was going to swallow me whole. The light in me might never resurface again.

Because curiosity often coaxed me to do things I knew I shouldn’t do, I crept over to the living room window and peeled back the drapes to allow one small shard of light to peek through. Standing carefully in the shadows, I reached out to touch that beam with a hand.

The pain was immediate, scorching, like scalding water poured on flesh. It burned like a fire had been lit beneath my skin. My hand turned red and blistered before bursting into flames.

I jerked it back out of the light and ran to the sink to rinse it in cool water. That had been stupid, but part of me had needed some kind of confirmation that I would never again be able to walk in the sun.

What hurt the most wasn’t the burn that had already begun to heal. It was the ugliness of reality: the harsh truth that my darkness had grown and the certainty that it wouldn’t stop until it had devoured me whole.

I didn’t sleep. After cleaning the expired food out of the fridge and doing some light tidying around the house, I tried to sleep. I took a shower and got into bed. Then I lay there and stared at the ceiling.

Sleep eluded me. This was no great puzzle. I wanted to avoid the dreams, avoid waking, screaming and alone. Misery grabbed hold of me, and I lay there feeling like shit. The emotional turmoil took me into places of absolute ridiculousness that left me feeling annoyed with myself.

The last time I’d been in my bed, Arys and Shaz had been with me. They could be now too. Only my insistence kept them away. And the man I was missing was going to leave me in less than forty-eight hours.

I didn’t deserve any of them, but I wanted all of them, each in a different way. Arys made me strong even as he made me weak. He was my rock. Shaz kept me grounded, reminding me of who I was underneath all of the power and chaos. He was my anchor. Kale was the one who shared my pain, my need for solace in all the wrong places. He was my kryptonite.

There had been a time when I thought it was wrong to love more than one man. Maybe it was. Now I just didn’t care. And yet, I wished I could have them all just as badly as I wished I could set them all free and walk alone. It wasn’t going to go down either way. It wasn’t meant to.

Finally I accepted that staring at the ceiling was a shitty way to spend the day. I went back downstairs to the living room and watched horrible daytime TV while surfing the net. It was mind numbing, boring. By sunset, I was going nuts.

When the last of the sun’s glow had started to fade, I ventured over to the blinds and peeked out at the backyard. I felt a tightening in my gut as my wolf tensed, begging for release. The forest beyond the yard called to me. I could feel it in my bones. Deeper even. In my soul.

Fear turned me away. No werewolf had ever become a vampire and managed to retain their wolf. Kale was just one example of that. Thanks to a dear friend with some witchy know-how, I still had mine. But the fear kept me from shifting. I was terrified that it wouldn’t work or that perhaps I would be stuck in wolf form, unable to turn back.

Resisting the shift for too long could be dangerous, both to myself and to Arys, who had no way to calm the echo of my wolf prowling around inside him. Too much time had passed already. I couldn’t put it off much longer.

I ignored the cry of my wolf even though it physically hurt me to do so. Busying myself with mundane things like a shower and makeup, I turned my thoughts toward the evening ahead. I was going to check out the address Brinley had given me.

The bloodlust grew with each passing minute. Without Kale there, I felt lost. I didn’t want to keep killing, even though I loved it so damn much when caught up in the moment. I’d been a hunter of monsters. Now I was what I’d spent so many years hunting.

“How am I supposed to go on like this?” I whispered to my reflection, receiving no answer. The mirror was beginning to feel like an enemy.

Like the past few nights, I did my best to make myself look the way I felt. Like someone else. Something else. The heavy black liner around my eyes and a bright red lipstick was more Jez’s style than mine. It wasn’t enough. I could still see myself there, lost behind those dark-blue eyes.

I turned away from the mirror with disgust. The bloodlust crept up my insides, starting as a twinge that soon became a pang. If I didn’t deal with this while I still had a shred of control, I was going to do something horrible.

Dressed in jeans and a Walking Dead t-shirt with Daryl’s wings on the back, I gathered my dagger, jacket, and shoulder bag and headed for the door. My house felt big and empty. I didn’t want to be there anymore.

Because I didn’t know where else to go to appease the blood hunger, I went to The Wicked Kiss. Losing it and killing someone in my own club was not what I wanted, but it was the only place where, if it happened, it could be easily contained from the general public and the FPA.

I was only mildly surprised to find Arys waiting for me. He knew me too well. I hadn’t planned to see him again so soon. The emotions were too overwhelming and made a mess of my head. I had planned to avoid as much emotional upheaval as I could until after I’d dealt with the FPA.

The roiling vampire essence rooted in my core recognized him before I spied his car in the parking lot. No Kale though. I had to remind myself that was a good thing.

Arys was in the lobby chatting with Justin. Leaning against the wall with arms crossed, he eyed each person passing through. In a black t-shirt that showed off his muscular arms and with his ebony hair messed just right, he looked like sex on legs, as he always did. I groaned. Why did he have to make this so difficult?

“Don’t kick my ass,” Arys said with a grin, holding up both hands. “And don’t argue. I’m here because you need me here whether you want to accept it or not.”

My gaze slid over to Justin who pretended not to listen by asking the girl behind me for I.D. With a finger I gestured for Arys to follow as I swept by him into the nightclub.

“Jenner told you, didn’t he?” I asked. “About how I almost killed a willing victim.” That better have been all Jenner told him.

“He did.”

My gaze strayed to the bar where my hopes soared and crashed. No Willow tonight either.

“I’m heading out on a hunt tonight. Human. But there’s a young girl involved so I need to take the edge off.” I had a hard time meeting Arys’s gaze. I didn’t want to do this with him but didn’t see much choice in the matter.

“Care to elaborate?” He walked at my side, careful not to touch me, as if he knew I would come undone.

I told him about Brinley as I scanned the crowd for someone to sink my teeth into. In no time Arys had women throwing themselves at him. He cast a questioning glance my way when the third sidled up with a drink in hand and a flirty smile.

With an eye roll and a sigh, I shrugged and turned to lead the way to the back. Being back in Harley’s room so soon felt all kinds of wrong. I was nervous about doing this with Arys. Already it felt way too good to be ok.

By the time the door closed, our victim had already fallen under his spell. She perched on the edge of the bed, watching us both with apprehensive excitement. I took the drink from her hand and set it on the table, keeping my distance as Arys sat beside her.

He leaned in close to whisper something naughty in her ear. She laughed and blushed. I wanted to be annoyed, but I was drawn closer. Arys’s thrall was powerful, affecting me too.

His lips moved over her ear, down her neck. She visibly swooned, leaning into him with closed eyes and a soft sigh. She clutched at him, her fingers leaving indents on his arm. The atmosphere sang with her arousal. I itched to sink my fangs into her.

Arys held out a hand to me, and I moved toward him without thinking. I could feel him inside me and all around. Inescapable. Only he could strip away my defenses with just a gesture.

I wanted to resist. The frightened woman inside me wanted to flee down the hall and out of the building, holding tight to my many broken pieces. But without a word Arys promised to put them back together, and I found myself reaching for him.

I would never escape this man. I could run to the ends of the earth, and he would still be there within me. That realization both warmed and terrified me.

Words were not needed. Together we made this quaking human ours. He encouraged her lusty energy, and I swam in it. I sat beside her so she was between us. She held on to both of us, gripping my hand so hard it hurt. Arys barely touched her, and she was a mess of desire.

It was nothing like it had been with either Kale or Jenner. My control was tested no doubt. I wanted the kill, but in Arys’s presence, I found a strength I’d never had with the others. This inner control kept me focused on only taking what I’d come for.

Sliding a hand into her long, brown hair, I leaned in close, breathing in her delicious human scent. I felt it like a punch in the stomach, demanding that I taste the precious nectar that pumped through her.

I ran my tongue along her neck, feeling the beat of her pulse. Arys watched me, the intensity of his stare drawing my gaze to his. His eagerness taunted my hunger. He wanted to watch, and something about that excited me.

It wasn’t the first time I’d shared a victim with Arys. However, it was the first time since I’d turned. My hesitation at doing this had fled. Something about it felt natural. Comfortable.

Arys kissed his way down her arm, tracing the vein in the curve of her elbow with his tongue. He never took his eyes from me. Her arousal grew with every touch. She wasn’t the only one affected by him. Heat crept up my cheeks and between my legs. He was so damn good.

Closing my eyes, I pressed my mouth against her neck and sought out the pulse beating there. It throbbed against my lips, racing with her desire. I bared the small but deadly sharp vampire fangs I was still struggling to adjust to and bit deep.

With the slightest resistance, my fangs pierced her flesh. Then the blood hit my tongue. Combined with the heady rush of sensual energy, it was exhilarating, sweeping me away on a mental cloud of bliss.

I was keenly in tune with our victim. Her heartbeat reverberated in my ears. I was aware of the rise and fall of her chest with each breath. My energy aligned with hers, allowing me to feel her very essence in an intimate way. So when her heart tripped into a different rhythm, I knew it was time to stop.

Resisting it was hard. Damn hard. And yet, somehow satisfying. I didn’t want it any less, and stopping came with mild disappointment. But it was outweighed by the thrill of succeeding.

I looked to Arys, who licked a smear of blood from his lips. He set her bitten arm down gently on the bed. She didn’t react, having passed out at some point. Her breathing was steady and even. She’d be fine.

Arys and I stared at each other like the confused, divided, and smitten lovers we were. The longing that rolled off him matched my own. The room buzzed with the power we’d called.

We were staring at each other with mixed emotions, and then we were kissing. He pulled me over to the small bistro table in the corner where he fell into a chair, tugging me onto his lap. His kiss was hungry, voracious.

I wanted him. I did. Kissing him back with fierce longing, I fisted a handful of his hair. Damn how I’d missed him.

But then the memories played through my head: The way it felt to be in his strong embrace while he drained my life away. The deep satisfaction that filled him after finally getting what he’d waited so long for. The horror I experienced at the realization that he’d been counting down to my death even as he resisted it.

I shoved away from him. On my feet, I backed toward the door. A trembling hand went to my lips as if I could wipe the sensation of him from me. Impossible.

“I can’t do this,” I said, my voice as shaky as my hands. It wasn’t just the awful memories. There were so many reasons why I wasn’t ready for this.

“Why not?” Arys pinned me with a knowing look, one that dared me to tell him what he already knew. “Because of him? Or because of me?”

My back hit the door, and I leaned against it, dropping my gaze to the floor. “Both.”