Forget Me Not (16 page)

He rolls the jewelry in his hand, examining the fine details. While he’s looking away, a surge of confidence spreads through me. I draw a deep breath and let my eyes take him in. He looks up, and my gaze drops instinctively to my dusty shoes.

“What happened back there? I turned around, and you were gone. I was scared I wouldn’t reach you.”

There’s a flicker, and he flashes out of sight like the flick of a switch. My gaze sweeps the room. “Jax, you can’t do that. They’ll come.”

I hear movement nearby, and my breath catches. I thought he’d fade out like the end of a movie, but the cover-up’s invisibility looks nothing like I expected. It’s like the blink of an eye. I looked at him, I blinked, and he was gone. It felt like an optical illusion. Just like the time at my house, the first time I saw him.

His disembodied voice comes from the other side of the room. “No
, they won’t. It’s safe here. I had to stop him from reaching you.”

I swivel around. Where is he? “I’m glad I got to use it twice. It gathered more attention than it would have with only one go.” There’s no movement, no shadows, no clue to his whereabouts.

A soft chuckle sounds right beside me, and he blinks into visibility inches from my face. “Like I cared about that,” he almost whispers.

He grits his teeth, the muscles in his face tighten, something flicks in his eyes. Self-loathing? “The agent could have hurt or captured you. I missed the second guy, and look what he did.” He curses and waves his hand toward my face, his eyes blazing.

The warmth of his breath touches my cheek like a summer draft, warm and intoxicating. I seize his good arm, his muscles tightening under my hand. My face burns at the false implication. “Don’t pretend you care.”

He peers into my eyes, his deep gaze capturing mine. My heart races like it’s trying to break free, and my stomach flutters in an unfamiliar way. The air, energized once again, tries to pull me to him or him to me, I’m not sure.

His mouth’s slightly parted, like he’s going to speak, but at the last second he leans in, and his lips are on mine. Stealing my breath, my thoughts, my heartbeats. His warm, soft, and slightly salty mouth presses against mine like it was always meant to be there. His arms snake around my waist, pulling me to him, pressing our bodies together. The smell of antiseptic catches my senses, his musky boy smell underneath.

My lip stings, but the pain’s overridden by the feel of his hands and mouth against mine. The tingling it causes in my fingertips. It’s quite possibly the best feeling in the world. His hand moves to my back and pulls me closer to him with urgency. The distance between us is erased to nothing.

I really want this kiss. He normally acts like he doesn’t, though, and I don’t want to always wonder if he’s only kissing me because of weak moment. So I put my hands on his chest and gently push. He doesn’t seem to notice. His kiss grows stronger and harder. His lips slide across mine. I really want this. My body gives in to my desire, and I fold into him like a flower bends to the sun.

His tongue probes my mouth, warm, soft, and searching.

Warmth floods through me, making the tingle spread. The muscles across his stomach and chest are firm where they press against me. My heart races and flips in my chest, and my head no longer throbs. I’m not sure when it stopped. Now it feels like we’re porting. We float ever upward, held together by his strong arms and our touching lips. We float softly and surely in the darkness. We are all that exists.

A soft tap on
the door brings me hurtling back to reality.

“Mae? Mae, are you there?” Lilly’s tone holds a quiet urgency.

I open my eyes, almost surprised we’re still in my room, and ease away from Jax’s kiss. The door opens while our arms are still wrapped around each other.

Lilly’s gaze rolls over my room, finally settling on us. “Oh, hi
, Jax.” Her smile slowly builds. “Mae.” Now it’s a full blown grin. “I’ve been knocking forever. Hope I’m not interrupting anything.” She exaggerates a wink.

A tingle sweeps up my neck and across my face, making it impossibly hot. Jax drops his arms and steps away from me, yawning, looking like it was nothing. I pull my gaze away from him and pick at the drying bloodstains on my shirt. My blush doesn’t fade at the thought of what she might think of us kissing behind a closed door. “Of course not.”

Lilly’s laughter rings through the air. “Sure, whatever you say.” The wide grin hasn’t budged. “How’s the arm feeling?”

“S’okay,” Jax says, his voice deep and husky.

A fresh white bandage wraps around his forearm, and I’m relieved to see there’s no sign of blood.

“Dad wants to see you two,” Lilly says.

I draw my brows together. Her Dad? I’ve never met him. Why would he want to see us? I mean, I know her parents are here. She’s mentioned them in passing plenty of times, but I guess I haven’t really put much thought into making the connections.

“Beau,” she says like she read my expression.

Why didn’t I realize that sooner? I’m normally more perceptive, but I’ve been so lost in my own worries. My own world. The day in the barn, the way she teased him, the way she bossed him around, the way he said ‘your mother’. I thought it was a touch of disrespect spurred on by her fun nature. I was wrong, clearly missing the signs of a closer relationship. I should have guessed, especially since they have the same almond eyes.

Jax glides out of my room without looking at either of us, the drinks and chips forgotten on the chair. I can’t help but watch and wish for the moment back, even though he’s so…
.

“Come on, Mae.” Lilly grabs my hand and pulls me along behind her while she giggles. “I knew he liked you.”

We enter the empty hall, and I let out a held breath that he’s not there; he moved fast. Good. Even though the kiss was awesome, better than I could’ve imagined, I’m not convinced he actually likes me, and I don’t want to face that reality just yet.

“I’m not so certain.”

“How can you be not certain after what I just walked in on? Besides, I’ve never seen him look sideways at a girl before.”

“What?”

That square jaw, smooth skin, toned arms, and those steady green eyes. Oh my gosh, the quivers start in my belly again. It can’t be true. Plenty of gorgeous girls would’ve fallen all over him. Surely he would have lapped it all up. What guy wouldn’t?

“Lots of girls have tried to catch his attention. There are always pretty girls flirting with him when we’re in town. Usually, though, he’s just not interested. Not that I’ve seen
, anyway. Who knows what I don’t see.” She winks.

Pretty girls vying for his attention. A loose strand of hair tickles my cheek. I yank it away and shove it behind my ear. Whatever.

“Marcus and I thought he might swing the other way.” A small giggle bursts through her lips. “But he can’t. Since you arrived, his eyes are always on you. The minute you enter a room nothing else matters.”

Stopping on the stairs, I turn to face her, my eyebrows rising of their own accord. He’s always been so indifferent, like he couldn’t care if I’m here or not. Except for just now. Even though I want to count it, I can’t. The flush in his cheeks, the unusual chatter, the glassiness of his eyes
—he’s got to be high on pain meds.

Lilly leans close and whispers like it’s a huge secret. “The other day while we talked on the veranda, your voice carried from inside. I lost his attention, his eyes lit up, and he must have kinked his neck trying to see where you were. When you came through the door…
.”

The memory rushes my mind, clear as a photograph. I was searching for Will. When I came outside I saw Lilly and Jax on the bench. They weren’t talking, but gave off the vibe I’d interrupted their conversation. So I left and kept going until I found Will in the barn training with Sam.

“I was looking for Will,” I say.

“You walked across the yard, and I stopped talking. There was no point continuing, because he’d stopped listening. He. Did. Not. Even. Notice. His eyes followed every last step until you were completely out of sight.”

My heart picks up its crazy beat, the one that happens when my skin touches his. We resume walking, but I stop on the bottom stair, grab her arm, and lower my voice to a whisper.

“I wish I was half as certain as you. I swear some days he hates me. He’s so distant that he can’t possibly care. I’m just so…
so… argh… I’m so confused, Lilly. His signals are so mixed, and I guess mine are too. He makes me so angry I just want to….” I’m not sure what. A sigh winds from deep inside me to whistle between my lips. “Instead, I end up kissing him.”

“So that wasn’t the first time?” She punches my arm, just lightly.

“It’s not like that.”

“Come on, girl, spill the details.”

Voices raised in an argument boom down the hall. Our eyes meet, both wide.

“What the hell were you thinking, Jax? This resistance is a team.” Beau’s deep voice thunders. “If you want to be one of us, then you can’t go running off on fool’s errands. You risked not only your life, but valuable tech too, and you breached the location of this safe house.”

I dash down the hall, use both hands to push the door open. It slams against the wall and flies back, almost hitting me in the face. Jax stands in the corner, fists bunched by his sides. His jaw’s set tight, and his eyes are cold and hard.

“It was a good plan, and we pulled it off,” he says.

He’s lying?

Beau slams his fist down on the desk, sending papers flying into the air. His face is crimson; the veins in his neck protrude. “What you did
—” His gaze practically burns the air as his mouth works. “Foolish and reckless, Jax. You’re darn well lucky those agents didn’t kill you both on the spot.”

No, no, no. This isn’t right. He can’t take the rap. All he did was take me to meet Garrett.

“Jax had nothing to do with this. It was all me,” I say in a loud, clear voice, but they continue to glare at each other, neither acknowledging my presence.

“If you don’t value your own life, at least respect hers.” Beau flings his arm in my direction. “The Collective doesn’t tolerate such actions, and neither will I.”

“Who cares what The Collective tolerates? We evaded them. They didn’t catch us.” Jax curls his mouth upward in a fake smile.

“You were lucky,” Beau says.

He’s right we were lucky, lucky I wasn’t forced to port home without Jax. Why is he lying for me, though? This wasn’t his idea. I ran off without him. Does Beau even know we met Garrett?

“You should have known that reckless plan wouldn’t work. Don’t you think we would have tried it by now if there was any chance of success?” Beau slumps into the high-backed faux leather chair behind his desk.

“Mae caused a massive stir and got plenty of attention.” An icicle sharp edge balances on Jax’s tone.

A smile creeps onto my face, unbidden. He really believes I did the right thing? No, he couldn’t, he must be covering his own rear. Hiding the fact he went to Garrett over Beau’s head.

“Expose tech, expose The Collective,” Beau says. “It does not work that way.” He emphasizes each word with a point of his finger into the air. “They port straight in, stop you, and then cover it up.” His head sinks into his hands.

“You used tech in a public place?” Lilly says from behind me.

Startled, I turn around, not realizing she was even in the room. Her legs are propped on a wooden chair, but she leans forward as if to hear each word more clearly.

Nobody answers her.

Jax stares out the window, his face a blank canvas.

Beau looks at me. I look back. Anger, frustration, and disappointment flash through his eyes.

“As for you,” he says with a tone that makes me shrink. “Give me the cover-up. You can’t be trusted with it.”

My heart rate spikes. He can’t have it. It belongs to me. Who cares if it can make me invisible? The pendant is my only link to home, to my life, to everything. I reach up to clutch it, but my hand meets only my chest. It’s not there. My heart thuds even louder. Where did I leave it? I never take it off, so how can it be gone? I shake my head and glance toward Jax, ready to ask him where it is, but the silver chain hangs around his lightly
muscled neck, disappearing under his shirt. Still there from his earlier game. Where’s the brooch? His hands are shoved in his pockets. Maybe it’s there. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Surely he’ll give it to Beau.

His hands don’t move. “It’s hers. Let her keep it.”

My stomach roils, sick at the thought of losing Mom’s precious pendant. “It belonged to my mother,” I whisper.

“You can’t take it from her,” Lilly says.

“Stay out of this, Lilly.” Beau’s gaze remains on me.

I stare back, unflinching.

“You put us all at risk today with your reckless behavior.” He tosses a newspaper toward me. Today’s date is at the top, the words ‘late edition’ in bold print beside it.

“See, they’ve covered it up. Made it look like a hoax,” he says.

The headline reads: Insane Teen Hoax. There’s a picture of me with a triumphant grin on my face, holding the sign high above my head.

It is believed an optical illusion was used this morning in an attempt to prove magic exists. With a Houdini-style stunt, the young lady, thought to be in her mid-to-late teens, made herself invisible.

My stomach churns. I can’t read anymore. I pass the paper to Jax. It didn’t work. I can’t go home. I can’t see Dad. All I’ve accomplished is making myself the butt of the media’s joke.

“I know you want to go home, Mae, but you can’t. At least not yet. There is nothing you can do to get around this quicker.” Beau’s shoulders slump, and his eyes soften. He moves around the desk and puts an arm over my shoulder. “Exposing tech is not the answer. There are far greater issues at play.”

I’m selfish. Purely selfish. My heart and hopes sink into my churning stomach. Selfish. I caused so much grief to these people who have been kind, given me shelter and food, friendship and safety. A desperate, impulsive act. I pull my eyes away from his. I can’t look at him. They’ve welcomed me into their home, and I’ve thrown their kindness back at them.

“I’m sorry,” I say through the hazelike blanket closing over my consciousness. “I thought…
.” Wetness slides down my cheek. I brush the tear away with haste, hoping no one saw. “Give it to him.”

Jax plucks a piece of fluff from his bandage. “No.”

Beau lets out a sound from deep in his throat like he’s at the end of his tether. “You can keep one half, as it won’t work without the other. It’s still yours, though. I’m just confiscating it to keep you out of trouble.”

I look to Jax for support. He gives a sharp shake of his head.

“When you prove to me you are trustworthy, you can have it back,” Beau says.

I swallow through the lump in my throat and nod to Jax. I have to do this. I was reckless and stupid, and I don’t know if I can trust myself. “Give him the brooch. The pendant’s more important. It… it belonged to my mother.”

“He has no right,” Jax says, but he pulls the chain off over his head.

I hold out my hand, and he drops both the brooch and pendant onto my palm. Lifting the chain over my head, I let it fall around my neck. The pendant nestles against my skin, and it’s still warm. I hand the brooch to Beau.

He smiles at me in the way a sympathetic parent might. “It will be safe.”

Turning, I walk out of the room. I am numb.

Hours later I’m in my room with no idea how I got there. I’ll have to get used to this place, my new home. I may even have to stay here forever. I have no family now, anyway. Dad thinks I’m dead, and with no one to remind him I’m not, I may as well be. The Avery’s probably think the same thing, and that just leaves Al and Bertie. I hope they’re looking after Dad. I probably should be crying, but with each thought comes a greater detachment. I wander from place to place with no thought of where I’m going or what I’m doing. I eat, I sleep, I wander.

It’s the same every day. I don’t train, I have no energy. There’s not a thing I can do. It’s pointless.

I sit in the family room. The television’s on, and I’m facing it, but the images blur into a grey mess. There’s someone beside me, but I huddle into the corner of the lounge. Don’t touch me.

A voice fades in and out. Will. “…bike…
let’s ride… fun.”

I stare into the nothing.

The days roll by in a haze. Day and night, night and day, they blend together. Days, weeks, who knows how much time passes?