Forgiven (Book 3, The Watchers Trilogy; Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (10 page)

“If we still had four years, do you think you could come to love me more than him?”

Without even having to think about the answer,
I shook my head.  “No.”

Malcolm sighed in resignation
, resting his forehead against mine
accepting my answer as the truth.

“
May
I have one last kiss
, dearest Lilly,
before I make my heart let you go?”

I nodded not trusting my voice to
not
betray me.

Malcolm leaned down and pressed his lips to mine but not before I saw the
sparkle of his own
tears
in
his eyes.
 

Malcolm phased me back to Brand’s home soon after.  We found Brand starting supper in the kitchen.

“Any luck with Samyaza?” Malcolm asked him.

“Yes, he said he would help us
find a way to
locate the ring
,
but he said it would probably take him a week or more to gather the information he needs to find it.”

“Well, at least that
will
give you and Lilly time to get married and enjoy some
thing of a honeymoon
afterwards,” Malcolm said with a melancholy smile.  “I’ll leave you two alone.  I’m sure you have a lot to talk about.”

When Malcolm phased, Brand came up to me and took me in his arms.

“How did it go?” he asked.

“I think I broke his heart,” I cried, burying my face in Brand’s chest and letting my own heartache over my friend
’
s pain come out.

When I had finally exhausted my supply of tears, Brand brought me a box of Kleenexes.  I saw him watching me as I blew my nose over and over.  I was sure I looked a hot mess.

“Stop watching me,” I said, sniffling.

Brand smiled.  “I can’t.  You’re just too cute.”

I looked at him like he’d lost his mind.  “I’m a complete basket case and you think I look cute?  You must
really
be in love with me,” I laughed.

“Yes,” he said coming up to me and cradling me in his arms.  “Yes
,
I am definitely in love with you Lilly Rayne Nightengale.  I love you for a lot of reason
s
but your loyalty and compassion for your friends is at the top of the list.”

I took in a deep breath and asked, “Do you want to know what happened today?”

“Only if you feel
like
I need to know.  Otherwise, I’m not that worried about it.  You did what you had
to do
today.  You finally proved to Malcolm that you love me more than him.  I don’t think he will try to seduce you
as often
anymore.”

“
As often
?” I asked.

“He will always want you.  I have no illusions about that.  But now he knows your heart belongs to me and that he doesn’t have a chance of ever winning it.  I saw that in his eyes before he left.  He had the look of a defeated man.”

I began to cry again which only made Brand chuckle
harder
.

“Stop crying, my love.  You proved yourself to be a true friend to him.  You let him go.”

 
I leaned into Brand and found strength in the comfort of his
love
.  I truly hoped one day Malcolm would come to a place in his life where he found that one person who made him whole.  I knew
without a shadow of a doubt I had only been a transient visitor to that
part
of his soul.  I felt sure Malcolm would
one day
find his
own
soul mate.  I just hoped I
lived long enough t
o see
him
find
his happily ever after
.

That night I got a phone call from my mother.

“Sweetie, Lucas told me he asked how you would feel about m
e
moving in with him.  Thank you for giving us your blessing.  It means a lot to me.”

I didn’t know what to say.  I certainly hadn’t given them my blessing
,
and I sure as
h
ell
didn’t want my mother shacking up with Lucifer.

“Are you sure you’re ready to move in with him?” I asked
, hoping to plant some
seed of
doubt in her mind that what she was thinking about doing was wrong
.  “You haven’t known him very long,
M
om.  It seems like your rushing things.”

My mother laughed, not politely.  “You’re one to talk, Lilly.  You’ve only known Brand for less than three months and you
’
r
e
getting married.  I’m not marrying him for
G
od
’s
sake.  We’re just moving in together.  Weren’t you the one who told me I should date a better class of men?  How much better can someone like me get than a doctor?”

“
You shouldn’t sell yourself short like that
,
M
om.  You
’
re a good person.  Is it because you
’
r
e
in love with him?” I braced myself for her answer.

She sighed.  “I don’t know, Lilly.  He makes me feel good about myself which is something I haven’t felt in a long time.  You know, he reminds me a lot of your father.
  He made me feel like someone special too even though we were only together
a few days
.
”

It was the first time my mother freely
gave up any information
about my father
.  Whenever I asked her questions about him, she would shut down and refuse to
say anything
.  I felt like this
might be my only chance to learn more about him from her
.

“What was his name,
M
om?  What was my father’s name?”

“Mic
k
,” there was a long pause and I heard my mother sniff like she might be crying
.
  “
His name was Mic
k
, Lilly.”

“Do you know where he is?” I asked breathless
ly
as a hollow part of my past was finally being filled.  “
Is there any
way
I
can
contact him?”

“I have no idea where he is, sweetie. 
The last time I saw him was in his apartment in
Chicago
on
South State Street
. 
When I learned I was pregnant, I went back t
here
and found out he had
already
moved away.  He didn’t leave any forwarding address
,
and I only knew his first name. 
It was like your father completely disappeared off the face of the planet.
I was young and impressionable at the time, not worldly at all.  But when I was with Mic
k
, he made me feel like I was the only woman on the planet.  I wish I could tell you more but that’s all I know about him.  His best friend was the person who helped me the most when your grandparents threw me out of their home
.”

It wasn’t much to go on but at least
I had a name and a street
.
  It was two more pieces of information than I’d had all my life.

“Just promise me you’ll be careful when you’re with Lucas,” I said, knowing there wouldn’t be anything I could say barring the truth to reach my mother.  “I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“I’ll be careful, sweetie.  Don’t worry about me.”

When I got off the phone
,
I told Brand what I learned.

“It’s not much to go on,” he said.
 
“I’ll contact th
e
private investigator who found your mother’s parents in the morning.  Maybe she can dig up something.”

I tossed and turned that night, finally finding sleep sometime around
2am
.

When I found myself back in the house Malcolm built for me, I instantly knew I wasn’t in a re
gular
dream.

“You seem to be changing my children for the better.”

I turned to find the owner of the voice.  A girl of around the age of eight with long
straight
brown hair and large
hazel
eyes stared at me.  She w
ore
a simple blue sun dress
which fluttered against an invisible wind
.

“How can you have any children?  You’re a child yourself.”

The little girl looked down at herself and then back up at me.

“I thought this form would please you most.  If it just confuses you
,
I can be whatever you want.”

The little girl began to morph into a variety of different
people
from men to women of different races and ages. 
The longer I stood there the faster the form changed.

“Stop,” I finally said, not really caring what form the creature in front of me took.

The final form was of a black man in his late forties with a shiny bald head and serious
,
penetrating
eyes.  He wore a thin gray sweater underneath a black pinstripe suit.

“Is this better?” He
aske
d in a low masculine voice.

“It’s fine,” I said, not really
having an opinion one way or the other.
  “
Am
I having a dream?”

“Yes,” he said, cocking his head to the right, “and no.”

“How can it be a dream and not be a dream
at the same time
?”

“You’re body is sleeping but your mind has traveled to this place,” he said looking around him.  “You feel safe here.  Malcolm did a good job building something
which brings you comfort
.”

“How do you know Malcolm?”

“He’s my son.  They’re all my children.”

I felt my blood begin to race causing my heart to pound inside my chest at the implications of his statement. 
I swallowed hard finally realizing who it was I was talking to.

“God?”

He smiled.  “
Like I said, y
ou’ve been good for my children, Lilly.  They’ve felt more connected to me since you came into their lives.  Even Will has changed for the better
, and
I never thought I would see him willingly go against Lucifer. 
Thank you for showing him a different path.  I have hope for him now.”

“How could you abandon them like that?” I asked, having a hard time reconciling a benevolent higher power with someone who could basically do what my grandparents
had done
to my mother, shun them.  Cut them out of
His
li
f
e completely just because they made a mistake.

“I never abandoned them,” God said.  “I’ve always been with them.”

“How can you say that?  Look at Malcolm.  He became a vampire because he didn’t see the point in denying what you made him into.”

“Yes, but look at Malcolm now.  He’s grown so much since meeting you.  The Malcolm I knew would have never let you see him so vulnerable.  Even
though
you turned away from the love he was offer
ing
you
so freely
, he still
remains
loyal to you.  He’s learned to swallow his pride because he loves you.”

“Why do I have such an effect on them?” I asked.  If anyone could
give me
the
answer
s I needed, who better than God?

“They see your father in you.  They sense his essence inside you.”

“Who was he?” I asked taking a step forward.  “Who was my father?”

“You’ll learn the answer to that on your own soon.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“Because only through learning the answer
yourself
can
you awaken your true potential.”

“Why did you let me be born at all?  If you knew Lucifer was going to try to use me
,
why let me exist?”