Forgiven (Book 3, The Watchers Trilogy; Young Adult Paranormal Romance) (34 page)

The promise I made to Lilly
begged me to go through with what she wanted. 
I
knew I had promised her if
Lucifer f
ou
nd a way to take control of her
I would
end
her
life before the universe could be destroyed
. 
He
r soul w
ould
no longer
be
in her body
now
,
already
being pushed out by Lucifer.  But that knowledge didn’t make it any easier for me to do what I knew needed to be done.

Being preoccupied with destroying the universe, Lucifer’s power over me dwindled.  I gripped the hilt of the serrated blade hanging at my side, filled with an overpowering hatred.  I would not let Lucifer desecrate Lilly’s body.  I would fulfill her request to end her torment and stop Lucifer before he had a chance to phase into
Heaven
and destroy everything my father loved.

I quickly phased to stand in front of Lilly, her face contorted by Lucifer’s malevolence, no longer recognizable as the woman I had given my heart and soul to.  In one swift motion I
pulled
my dagger from its sheath and
raised
it above her heart
swinging down
towards her chest with all my might.

I found myself sitting on the swing on the front porch of my
Colorado
home.
  I tried to think of what my last waking memory was and realized it was of Lucifer in his angelic form floating towards me
,
intent on possessing my body.  But, I never actually saw him do it.  Before he reached me, I completely blacked
out
.

“You did well.”

I looked beside me and saw God sitting on the swing, smiling at me.

“But he won.  I wasn’t strong enough to stop him.”

God smiled.  “Search your heart.  Do you really think he won?”

I sat there, thinking back over the last scene I remembered.

“I said your heart, Lilly,” God gently reminded me.  “Not your mind.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, trying to do as he suggested. 

My heart swelled with
so much
love and hope
it brought tears to my eyes
.
  Without him having to tell me, I knew without a shadow of a doubt, Lucifer had not been
completely
victorious.  Somehow, by some miracle, he failed to destroy what God had made.

I opened my eyes, “How?” I asked. 

“Your faith in your family and the love you share with Brand stopped him.  It’s something I had hoped Lucifer would have learned by now after spending so much time on Earth.”

“What did you hope he would learn?”

“That love, not hatred and jealousy, gives you the strength you need to make anything happen.  It’s a lesson you taught t
o many of my children but one in
particular.

God looked to the other end of the porch and I followed his gaze.  Will stood there smiling at me.  I jumped out of the swing and ran to him.  He held his arms out to me and hugged me tightly to him.

I felt
the warmth of
his love for me like a
warm blanket
protecting me from the cold.

But, why was Will here?

I
pulled away from him slightly.

“Why are you in my dream?” I asked.

“Because I’m dead, Lilly.”

I felt my body start to tremble.  “Does that mean I’m dead too?  Are we actually in
Heaven
?”

Will shook his head.  “No, you’re not dead.  You have a long life to live.  He just let me come say goodbye to you before I move on.”

I felt God standing behind me and turned to him.

“Your love and that of Tara and Utha Mae taught Will the true reason why I treasure human life so much.  In the end, he sacrificed himself in trying to save you, a mere human who he would have destroyed an eon ago and never thought twice about.”

I looked back at Will.  “Where will you go now?”

“Back home,” he smiled.  “I get to go back to
Heaven
because of you Lilly.  It’s the greatest gift you could have given me.”

“I’ll miss you,” I said, taking him in my arms for what I knew would be the last time for a long while.

“I’ll miss you too, but time is different in
Heaven
.  It won’t be as long for me as it
will be
for you.”  Will hugged me close before letting me go.  “Promise me one thing,” he said.

I nodded.  “Anything.”

“Promise me you won’t cry over me after I leave.  I’m finally happy, Lilly.  I want you to be happy for me too.”

“I can promise I’ll try not
to cry much
,” I said.  “But I’ll still miss you.”

Will smiled.  “I guess that’ll have to do.  I love you, Lilly
Rayne.
  Enjoy your life
.  That’s the greatest gift you could give to me
.”

Will disappeared.

I turned to God.  “If I’m not dead, why am I here?”

“I wanted you to meet the reason Lucifer didn’t win.”

God pointed out past the porch towards the
lush green lawn in front of the house.

I took in a sharp breath
feeling lightheaded as the reason for Lucifer’s failure smiled at me.

I grabbed Brand’s wrist just as he was about to plunge the tip of his dagger into my heart.
The fire emanating from my hands died down
,
and I looked at Brand’s tear streaked face.  I felt the presence of Lucifer still inside me but felt him
be
unceremoniously pushed out by
a
pure soul.

Brand’s eyes were drawn to Lucifer now standing outside my body.  He immediately looked back down at me daring to hope what he was seeing was real.

“It’s me,” I said.

The dagger fell from his hands onto the snow as he pulled me into his embrace, crying tears of happiness now instead of sorrow.

“That’s not possible!” I heard Lucifer scream behind me
like a child who had just lost his favorite toy
.

I turned to face him
still
basking in the warmth of my husband’s love.

“Haven’t you ever heard the phrase ‘love conquerors all’?” I asked, dropping my hand to my belly.

“But the curse,” he began to say.  “You should be practically dead with
that thing
’s
spawn growing inside you.”

I heard Brand’s sharp intake of breath behind me.  “Lilly?”

I turned back to my husband and brought his hand
to my stomach.

“I
guess you
’
r
e
getting your Christmas gift a little early.  I
would like you to meet our daughter,” I said to him gently, letting the realization of my condition sink in.

Brand fell to his knees in front of me, resting his head against my stomach and holding me tight.  I felt his body tremble as he cried.

“But that’s not possible!” Lucifer stormed.

“That’s quite enough,” I heard a familiar voice say beside me.

I turned my head and saw God.  He was looking at Lucifer like a father getting ready to discipline his child.

“So you chose humans over me again,” Lucifer spat.  “Typical.”

“I had hoped your time here would have taught you something about the strength they possess.  I suppose it will take a while longer for you to realize how wrong you are about them… and me.  I never chose them above you.  That’s just what you’re jealousy of them led you to believe.  I still love you Lucifer, but I don’t condone the way you’ve been behaving.  You were one of my greatest triumphs but you also turned out to be one of my greatest disappointments.  Now leave and let me talk to my other children about what needs to be done
with the
mess you’ve created.”

Lucifer disappeared as ordered and the
snowy plain before me was instantly dotted with black as the Watchers appeared. 

I felt myself gasp.  Most of them were covered in red
,
and I knew it was blood. 
They all fell to
a
knee as one in front of God, everyone except for Malcolm.

Malcolm phased in front of me and I threw my arms around him, not caring the white coat I wore would no
w
be red.

“Are you all right?” I asked frantically, reluctantly pulling away from him to see if he was missing any limbs.

“
Yes
, dearest
.  I’m fine,” he held my face in the palms of his hands and kissed me lightly on the lips.  When he pulled away, he looked over at Brand.

“I couldn’t help myself,” he said in way of an excuse for his boldness.

“Not even you could spoil today for me,” Brand said.

Malcolm’s eyes finally
found
God.

“You,” God said to Malcolm, “out of everyone has surprised me the most.  I thought you were lost to me for good when you started to drink human blood.  I’m thankful to Lilly for bringing you closer to me.”

“Can you forgive a sinner like me?” Malcolm asked, obviously not expecting a favorable response.

“I can forgive any sin with true repentance,” God answered.  “But, it doesn’t seem to be me you need forgiveness from.  You are your own worst enemy, Malcolm.  You allow your guilt to eat at you not allowing yourself to realize how much you’ve changed.  I will always be able to forgive you, but first you must find a way to forgive yourself.”

God looked out at all the Watchers.  “I know many of you feel the way Malcolm does.  Until you are able to forgive yourselves for what you have done, I don’t see a way to bring you back to me fully.  Fortunately, Lucifer
provided
you
with
a way
.”

I looked at God completely confused.

God looked up at the white ribbon of light
floating like a white sash
in the sky.  “The Tear Lucifer made
today
will take a lot to heal.  When the time is right, you will be given the knowledge on how to repair the damage Lucifer caused to the universe.  In the meantime, I ask that all of you do what you were sent her
e
to do in the first place: serve human
ity
.  Teach them what they need to know in the trying times to come.  The world as they know it
doesn’t exist anymore. 
Their reality has been shaken to the core and many of them will never recover. 
They will have to face the fact that they are not alone in the universe and they will need you to guide their way.  Help them face their fears.  Let them lean on your strength in their greatest time of need.”

God took two steps forward.  “Mason, stand before me.”

Mason phased, still kneeling on one knee in front of God.

God placed one of his hands under Mason’s chin encouraging him to stand in his presence.  I watched as He traced the scare over Mason’s eye with the tips of his fingers
,
much like I had the first time I met the leader of the Watchers.

“I see the old scar has not
yet
healed,” God said, not taking any joy in the fact Ma
son
still wore the proof of his wrath.

“No,” Mason said.  “I fear it will never heal.”

“It can be healed,” God said.  “But you have to allow it to
happen
.  Your guilt keeps it as deep as when I first made it.  When you find a way to forgive yourself, it will begin to fade.  That is my promise to you.”  God put his hands on Mason’s shoulders.  “You must lead the Watchers once more during the dark days ahead.  You will be the one who finds a way to close the Tear and
helps
bring peace back into the universe.”

“Will you help us?” Mason asked.  “Will you give us the power to close it?”

“I already have,” God said, lowering His arms back to his side.  “The answer is here on
this
Earth.  But you will have to figure out how to find it and then how to use it.  Only then will you all feel as though you have done enough to be forgiven.  I will help if I see you being led astray, but ultimately you will have to figure things out
on your own
.  Without the struggle, you will never feel like you have done enough
,
and I fear this may
be your last chance at redemption.”