Forgiving You: A Switched Series Novella (The Switched Series Book 3) (8 page)

“He was at my house, waiting to talk to Maya,” I tell her. She nods her head at me with tears pooling in her eyes.

“I’m sorry for everything, neither of you deserved it, and I never should have gone along with him. I really hope Ava is okay. I promise I didn’t hurt her while I had her.”

“Thanks for being honest with me,” I say before standing up. I walk back over and flip the switch to video camera back to on. I walk out the door and pray I never have to see that woman again.

Brody is waiting for me when I come out. “Ready to go see your girls?” he asks. I nod my head at him and follow him to my truck. I have never wanted to see my girls more than I do now.

Maya

“I’m going to give her a bath. Y’all are welcome to stay,” I tell Callie and Leighton after Ash dropped us all of at Jaxon’s house. Ava finally stopped crying halfway home. I know I shouldn’t have, but I held her in my arms the entire drive. Thankfully it’s not a far drive. I’m not sure I will ever be able to let her go again.

After getting her cleaned up and changed into some of her new clean pajamas, I grab her horse, formerly Jaxon’s horse, and go back into the living room. Callie and Leighton are still here. “Y’all can go home. I’ll be fine. I know you probably want to go check on the girls.”

“I have already called to check on them. Cindy and Bo have them and said they were sound asleep. I know it’s hard to believe, but we have both kind of been in Ava’s shoes right now and we want to stay until Jaxon gets back,” Callie says. I nod my head at her and sit in the recliner so I can rock Ava. She is asleep in no time and I am so thankful that she is taking this entire situation well. She says she had pizza and played a game of Candyland with Margo. I am praying she didn’t hurt her in any way. “I’m sorry about Trent. I know what he did was awful, but I also know he meant a lot to you.”

I have tried really hard this whole time not to think about Trent and what he looked like laying on the cold pavement, or the fact that I will never talk to him or see him again. I am also trying not to think about the fact that for the past five years, he has helped me in so many ways. I don’t even realize I am crying until Leighton brings me some tissues.

“It gets easier I promise,” she says quietly. “My sister kidnapped me, it ended the same way with her it did with Trent.” I look up at her and notice the tears in her eyes. I nod my head and give her a small smile. 

Thirty minutes later, the door opens and Brody walks in with Jaxon. “I told Ash I would take you home, Callie,” Brody tells her. She nods her head and walks over to Jaxon to hug him.

“Call if you need anything,” she tells him, before leaning down and kissing Ava’s forehead.

“Thank you for staying,” I say, before she walks off. After they are all out the door, Jaxon locks up. He hasn’t said a word to me yet. He finally walks over to us and squats in the floor.

“Is she okay?” he asks quietly. I nod my head and look at my daughter. “I’m going to clean up.” He walks down the hallway and I hear the shower start. I have no idea what he found out or why he will barely talk to me.

I stand up and walk to Ava’s new room to put her to bed. I pull the cover’s down and lay her down before crawling in the bed with her.

A few minutes later, Jaxon walks in and comes over to kiss Ava. He walks to the side I am on and lifts me in his arms. I don’t say anything, I just let him carry me to his bedroom. He puts me down and crawls in beside me. He wraps his arms around me, still not speaking. “Are you okay?” he finally asks.

I don’t trust my voice to speak right now. Instead of talking, I shake my head and bury myself into his side. He wraps his arms around me tighter.

“I’m sorry about Trent,” he whispers, surprising me. “I shouldn’t have shot him, not to kill him.” I turn around to face him and try to read his face, but I can’t figure out what he’s thinking. “I should have shot him to get him away from you. I just knew he had the gun and I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you or Ava, not again,” he adds, correcting himself.

“I never thought he would be capable of pulling all of this off. I promise up until a week ago, he has never done anything to make me question him.” Jaxon nods his head, but doesn’t speak again. “Did you find out anything tonight?”

“A little, what do you want to know?” I want to know all of it, but for some reason he doesn’t seem to want to tell me.

“First off, where did the pictures come from?” He takes a deep breath and turns on his back to stare at the ceiling, without letting go of me.

“Margo says he asked her to drug you. You went to eat with her and she drugged you during the meal, took you back to her house where Trent was waiting and they took the pictures.” I sit up with my eyes widening. I can’t believe they did all of that and I never knew it.

“You mean they drugged me, took my clothes off and…” I can’t even finish the sentence. Jaxon sits up quickly pulling me back to him.

“No, nothing happened, she promised nothing happened and right now her word is all we have. I really believed her tonight. I think she would have told me. She has no reason to lie at this point.” I know he’s trying to reassure me, but I feel dirty and exhausted right now.

“I’m going to shower, can you listen for Ava?” I jump out of the bed and run into the bathroom before Jaxon can stop me. I’m not sure how much longer I can stop my tears. I know my daughter is safe in her bed right now, but I can’t help but mourn for the man who has been like a father to her since she was born. And I don’t think that’s something Jaxon can handle right now. I can’t even handle it because I know what a monster he truly was on the inside now.

I turn the water on as hot as it will go, take my clothes off, jump in, and I cry for everything that I have lost.

Jaxon

I walk to the bathroom door as soon as Maya shuts it and slide down it. I have listened to her sob in the shower now for thirty minutes. I’m not sure why she is breaking right now. I know she has a million reasons to be upset, but I can only think of one reason that she would want to keep from me. Trent.

After fifteen more minutes, I decide I need to go in and get her. I grab the handle and am relieved to find she left it unlocked. I grab a towel before moving the shower curtain. She is squatted down, still crying with ice cold water falling on her. I turn the water off and wrap her in the towel before picking her up. I carry her back to my bedroom, try to dry her off and grab one of my t-shirts. I throw it over her head and lead her back to the bed. I cover her up and walk back down the hall to check on Ava. She is still sound asleep and safe.

After staring at her a few more minutes, I take a deep breath and head back to Maya. I get back in bed beside her and pull her into my arms again. “It’s okay to cry in front of me for him. I get it. He meant a lot to you and took care of you when I didn’t.”

She starts shaking her head. “Do you know how many nights I cried myself to sleep for you? How long it took me to not wish and pray that I could fall asleep next to you?” she asks. “Years, it took years. I dreamed that one day I could do that again, even for one night, have you hold me and tell me everything is okay. Now that I have it, I don’t know what to do because the one person I did have is gone.” She takes a deep breath, but her tears have finally stopped. I’m assuming it’s because she is back to hating me and I still can’t blame her for that. “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I wouldn’t have made it without him. And now, I don’t know if I’m supposed to be sad he’s gone or relieved that he didn’t try to take Ava sooner. Obviously, I don’t know men very well. The only two that I have ever trusted, didn’t work out very well.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, getting a death glare from her.

“Stop apologizing. I know you’re sorry. I know that if you had known I was pregnant and we had talked about things, everything would be different now, but it didn’t happen that way, and now we have to deal with this mess. Please stop apologizing. I get it. If I had gotten pictures of you with another woman, I don’t even want to think about it.”

“Okay.” I pull her back to my side and cover us up again. “Tomorrow, we will talk about us. Let’s just get some sleep right now.” I turn the lamp off and hope she can get some sleep tonight.

I lay awake for hours after Maya goes to sleep, trying to figure out how to fix this mess. She’s in my bed asleep, so she can’t hate me too bad. Now, I still need to figure out how to keep her here permanently.

“Daddy,” I hear down the hallway. I don’t think I have ever heard Ava scream for me during the night. Maya must be exhausted because she doesn’t even move when Ava screams for me again. I scoot her over and put my pillow in my place when I get up. I walk down the hallway to find Ava sitting up in the bed.

“Hey baby girl,” I whisper, getting in the bed beside her.

“Where’s mommy?” she asks, putting her head back on the pillow to face me.

“She’s in the other room asleep. Do you want me to go get her?” She shakes her head and closes her eyes before asking if I will stay in her bed tonight. I nod my head at her and close my eyes before finally drifting off to sleep.

I wake up what feels like minutes after I finally go to sleep. Maya is standing in the room now, shaking me. “Is she okay?” I nod my head and look at the clock. It’s six in the morning and I know I was still awake at three.

“She started crying for me during the night, so I came in here with her,” I say, crawling out of the bed. Maya nods her head at me, but doesn’t say anything, just points to the door.

“Can we talk now?” I nod and follow her out the door. “I can’t believe I didn’t hear her, I must have been tired.”

“It’s okay. She actually called for me, so I wouldn’t have let you get her anyway,” I smile. She walks over to fix some coffee and turns back to me.

“What did they do with the body?” I walk over and grab a mug of coffee. There’s no way I can have this conversation this early in the morning.

“I’m not sure. I’ll find out. I guess the decision will be left to Margo.” Maya nods her head and sits down at the table. I walk over and sit beside her.

“I’m going home…..today,” she says, looking down at the table.

“Are you coming back?” She takes a deep breath before lifting her eyes to mine.

“I’m not going to keep Ava from you, but my home is there. I think I just need some time away to think about things and figure some stuff out.” I don’t like this. I don’t want her to leave, but I know I can’t keep her here. I kicked her out and told her to stay away. That is definitely hard to forget.

“I want you to stay. I wish I could change the past, but I can’t. I just need you to forgive me, please.”

“Jaxon, I forgive you. I just can’t forget it, not yet. Maybe in time, I don’t know. Yes, you messed up, but I did too. I should have brought Ava here for you to see, I just didn’t want to be rejected and I definitely didn’t want her to be rejected.”

“I would have never rejected her,” I whisper.

“I know that now, I just wasn’t convinced then and I need to figure out if I really thought that or if Trent had me convinced. I keep thinking about them setting us up like that, and I just need some time to think about everything.”

“Daddy!!” Ava screams, running into the kitchen and straight into my arms.

“Hey baby girl, did you sleep okay?” She nods her head at me before looking over at Maya.

“Where’s Margo? She said Trent was coming to see me and I should call him daddy too.” Maya’s eyes widen and she looks at me. I try really hard to keep my cool and remember that Trent is no longer a threat. I’m also trying to figure out how to tell a four year old that she will never see the only father figure she has had in her life again.

“Margo had to go back home and Trent had to leave on a really long trip,” Maya says to Ava without batting an eye. Wow, she is good under pressure. It bothers me for a minute that she didn’t tell her not to call him daddy. But since she won’t be seeing him again, I try to let it go. “Okay, Miss Ava, we need to go get packed up. We are going home today.”

Ava turns to me and frowns. “Can I stay with you again?” she asks. This is going to break me. A four year old has the power to break me right now. I turn to watch Maya barely shake her head at me.

“Not this time, baby girl. I need to work this week and I have the wedding next weekend, but I promise after that, I will come see you in Atlanta.” She nods her head and puts her little arms around my neck and doesn’t try to let go. I watch Maya walk out of the room and wonder how I ever made it without them in my life and more importantly how I am going to make it now.

Maya

Ava and I left Jaxon in Tennessee almost a week ago. I think I was testing him a little to see how he would react to me taking her away, especially after the night we had just survived. After I had packed us up and loaded the car, I went back inside to get Ava. She was sitting in the chair with Jaxon and neither knew I had come back inside. I stood in the doorway and watched them quietly. She was telling him to take care of Dog and Ed until she got back and he was promising her the world.

I’m not sure how or why he let me go, especially after Ava looking up and telling him how much she loved him and was going to miss him. I honestly didn’t think a week would be enough time for them to form any type of relationship, but in that moment, I knew there was no way I could keep her away from him. If I’m honest with myself, I’m not sure I can keep myself away from him.

I know he messed up big time five years ago, but I also know I messed up big time five years ago too. I really thought I was putting Ava’s needs first by staying away after he had treated me the way he did. But now looking back on it all, I only hurt us all by staying away. Jaxon lost out on amazing little girl and Ava lost out on so many things. I wish every day I had gone back to him and made him look at Ava. Unfortunately, my pride was too big and Ava has been paying the price for that.

After we arrived in Atlanta, I got busy getting things straightened out. I talked to Margo before leaving town. That was a hard visit. She was still in custody and is now waiting on a trial. She apologized, but I will never understand why she did the things she did for Trent. She said she wanted a funeral for him in Atlanta and told me all the details. I tried to take care of things for her the way she wanted and the way he would have wanted. Even though I can’t believe the things he did that final day, I still owe him for helping me through the hardest time in my life, even though it was his fault.

I called Jenn and told her what had happened and what I had decided to do. She couldn’t believe Trent was capable of those things either, he had us all fooled. The best news was when Jenn asked if she could buy my business and my house. She had been looking for a new place and she is as good in photography as I am.

I have been trying to take all of these things as a sign that I have made the right decision in going back to Tennessee. Jaxon and I never really got around to talking about us, but I’m hoping we can work it out. I know it won’t be easy, but for Ava and for us, I’m hoping we can work it out. Ava and Jaxon have talked every night on the phone. She misses him almost as much as she misses Ed, her pony.

I finally have the last bag packed up and loaded when Ava comes running back into the room. “Is this the dress I need to keep with me?”

“That’s the one,” I tell her smiling. Brody and Leighton’s wedding is tomorrow and I told Jaxon I didn’t think we would make it back in time. He was disappointed, but said he understood. I’m glad he’s not pressuring me in coming back. He has asked a few times when he can come to Atlanta, but I haven’t given him an answer.

I finish loading the car and buckle Ava up. It’s a pretty long drive from Atlanta to home, so we are staying in a hotel in Nashville tonight. I really just want to surprise Jaxon at the wedding, so I needed somewhere we could stay to get ready. After a good night’s sleep, we are ready to head back for the wedding and  hopefully to our new home, if Jaxon will still have us.