Forgotten Child (5 page)

Jenny was amazed that she’d stood up to her mother like that, but knew she’d suffer for it later. There’d be more than ironing to face – probably floors to scrub and other menial tasks lined up. Yet as she waited for Tina, she found her thoughts drifting back to her own interview with the careers adviser. If she could have chosen any job, it would have been in a library. She loved books, the smell of them, the feel of them in her hand and the anticipation of being enthralled by a story as she turned the first page. Many had taken her away from her unhappiness at home to another place and sometimes to another time. When would she hear about the interview? Would she be successful? But then Jenny’s bubble burst. A local library, the careers adviser had said, and she now saw the job slipping away. Tina wanted to move out of this area and she’d agreed. Oh, but to work in a library! For a moment Jenny wondered if she should change her
mind, stay at home, at least until she’d completed her training.

It didn’t take Jenny long to dismiss the idea. It wasn’t just that she wanted to get away from her mother, there was Tina to consider too. Her friend needed her and she couldn’t let her down.

‘Right, I’m done. Let’s go,’ Tina said.

‘How did you get on?’

‘I was offered a job in a department store and pretended I was keen. What about you?’

‘A trainee librarian.’

‘Blimey, I wouldn’t fancy that. Talk about boring. With your posh voice and typing speeds I’m surprised you weren’t offered something in an office.’

‘It doesn’t matter. We’ll be moving from this area and finding our own jobs.’

‘I know, and I can’t wait,’ Tina said, smiling happily as they left the building.

Jenny felt the same. She knew what would be waiting for her when she arrived home, but the thought of leaving gave her courage. She was sick of being punished for no reason, of being treated like a servant, and now all the years of hurt, of degradation, culminated in Jenny’s mind.

She wouldn’t be meek any more, and her mother was soon going to find that out.

When his mother came in, Robin saw that she was upset, surreptitiously wiping tears from her eyes.

‘Mother, what’s wrong?’

‘Nothing, it’s nothing,’ Delia said.

Robin saw that her hands were shaking, her nerves obviously playing up again, and asked, ‘Has something upset you?’

‘Yes, but it doesn’t matter.’

‘You’re crying, so of course it matters.’

‘Please, Robin, just let it go. You wouldn’t believe me anyway.’

‘Of course I would.’

‘It…it was Jennifer’s behaviour. She was so rude to me and caused a dreadful scene at the careers office.’

‘Jenny! I can’t believe it.’

‘I knew you’d say that,’ Delia cried, tears filling her eyes again.

‘Mother, I’ve never heard Jenny being rude to you.’

‘Of course you haven’t and Jennifer has made sure of that. What with the clubs you joined and now your studies, you’re hardly around to see or hear anything, but let me tell you that since childhood Jennifer had been jealous of you, of my feelings for you. You see me as hard, cold towards her, but to maintain control I’ve had to be.’

‘If that’s the case, why haven’t you said anything before?’

‘I tried to tell your father, but he’d have none of it. In the end I gave up and you were my compensation,
but it almost broke my heart when you turned on me too and threatened to leave home.’

Tears fell in earnest now and Robin rushed to his mother’s side, placing an arm around her. He had never seen her as bad as this; her whole body was shaking as she turned into him, sobbing.

‘Take no notice of my threat,’ he said quickly. ‘Of course I’m not leaving home. Well, not until I go to university, but then I’ll be back every weekend.’

‘I can’t tell you how much that means to me…I should be used to Jennifer’s behaviour by now. It…it just became a bit too much for me today, and I feel as though I’m losing control of her. Don’t worry, I…I’m all right now.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘Yes, I’m fine,’ Delia said with a brave little smile.

His mother looked so vulnerable and Robin felt awful for threatening to leave home. At least he’d put her mind at rest, yet he was still worried. When his mother had come to his room that morning she’d been a bit tearful, but it had been nothing in comparison to the emotional distress he’d just witnessed.

Robin now began to wonder if she could cope with running a business, with the stress it could cause her, and chewed worriedly on his lower lip. Not only that, he was still unable to believe the things she had said about Jenny. He’d never seen his sister behaving badly, yet something must have
caused his mother to break down like this. Usually it happened only when his father was home, the rows affecting her nerves. Maybe that was it – perhaps she was still upset from his latest visit, and that was causing her to magnify things out of all proportion.

Thankfully Robin saw that his mother was looking a little calmer now, but he knew he’d have to keep an eye on her to ensure that she wasn’t unnecessarily distressed. He’d have a word with Jenny when she arrived home, explain things, but if his mother got in such a dreadful state again, perhaps he should persuade her to see a doctor.

Delia moved away from Robin, pleased that things had gone so well. He had looked shocked to see her in such a state, and she was glad of her acting abilities. As a child her own mother had called her a drama queen, saying she was destined for the stage, though of course if Delia had suggested actually ever going to a stage school, both her parents would have been scandalised.

She had loved her calm, staid father, and been heartbroken when he had died suddenly of a heart attack at just fifty. She had been thirteen at the time and her older sister, Beatrice, seventeen. Though Delia had wanted to cling to both her mother and sister, emotions were never displayed and tears never shown in public. They had set her a wonderful example and
she had grown up emulating their proud upright and dignified manner.

At twenty, Beatrice had married well to a diplomat who was posted abroad. It had been heartbreaking to see her sister leave, especially when just three years later her mother, also young at forty-six, had become seriously ill. Before her mother had died, she’d encouraged Delia to emulate Beatrice in marrying well. With her sister able to return from abroad only for the funeral, Delia had been left feeling totally alone.

He may not have been perfect, but Delia had married the first man who asked her – Edward.
That
side of marriage had shocked her, however. She wasn’t used to being held or kissed, and on her wedding night, when things had gone further, she had been horrified. She didn’t like it, found it messy, distasteful, and though she had never wanted to adopt Jennifer, it had at least given her the perfect ammunition to stop much further sexual activity. That, along with her nerves, had ensured that she always managed to get her own way, which was no more than Edward deserved.

Delia expected Jennifer home soon and now turned her mind to her plans. By being rude, by defying her, the stupid girl had played right into her hands. All she had to do now was to lay a trap – and in such a way that it would arouse the same response from Jennifer in Robin’s hearing.

‘That sounds like Jenny coming in,’ he said.

As Robin was still looking at her worriedly, Delia decided there was no time like the present. She pretended to sway a little before sitting down.

‘I feel a little dizzy and my throat is parched,’ she said. As the girl walked into the room she added tremulously, ‘Jennifer, there you are. I’m still upset about your behaviour, but before we talk about it please make me a cup of tea.’

‘You said there’s ironing waiting to be done and as I’m not an octopus, or your servant, you can make your own tea. I’m going upstairs to change.’

‘See, Robin, I told you,’ Delia wailed as Jennifer stalked off. ‘That was nothing in comparison to how she usually talks to me. It’s usually worse than that, much worse.’

‘Please, Mummy, calm down. I’ll make you a drink and then I’ll have a few words to say to Jenny.’

Delia slumped, holding both hands over her face to hide her true feelings. She’d hardly had to make any effort at all before Jennifer had reacted – and in just the way she had wanted.

Jenny was pleased that she’d stood up to her mother again, but had only just changed out of her school clothes when her bedroom door was flung open and Robin stormed into the room.

‘If I hadn’t heard it with my own ears, I’d never have believed it. You were rude to Mother and now she’s in a dreadful state.’

‘I only told her to make her own tea. That’s hardly reason to get into a state.’

‘From what she told me it isn’t the first time you’ve been rude to her. In fact you’ve been making her life hell.’

‘Robin, all I did was to refuse to walk home with her after we’d seen the careers adviser.’

‘There must be more to it than that. Mother is at the end of her tether, her nerves so bad that I fear she might be having a nervous breakdown.’

‘If she is, it’s got nothing to do with me,’ Jenny protested.

‘I doubt that, and from now on I don’t want her upset. I want you to come downstairs and apologise, but be warned, Jenny. If she isn’t better by the time Dad comes home I intend to tell him what you’ve been up to.’

‘But I haven’t been up to anything!’ she called, but Robin had already marched out and her door slammed behind him.

Jenny slumped onto the side of her bed. Today had been the first time she had defied her mother and surely that wasn’t enough to cause a nervous breakdown? She had wanted to stand up for herself, but somehow it had backfired, and instead something was going on – something Jenny couldn’t grasp. She longed to escape all this, but she couldn’t leave home yet, had to wait until she was sixteen,
followed by two more weeks at school before the end of term.

Worried and confused by Robin’s threat to tell her father, Jenny realised that her newfound courage had already deserted her.

Robin was thankful that an uneasy truce had now been formed. He kept a careful watch on both his mother and Jenny, at first not knowing whom to believe. Jenny insisted that she’d never been rude before, while his mother said the opposite, that it had been going on for years. Jenny said that she had always been treated badly when he wasn’t around, almost like a slave, but his mother again said the opposite.

However, his mother was still a bundle of nerves, so to keep her happy Robin kept his promise, the two of them calculating the starting up costs and profit projections for the new business. He had his concerns, especially about the initial costs, but his mother had told him there was no need to worry – that if her savings were insufficient she would go to the bank for a loan. He didn’t like this idea, suggesting instead that she approached his father for funding, but she would have none of it and, rather than upset her, Robin had said no more.

Five weeks had now passed and he hadn’t heard his mother being anything other than kind to Jenny. On the other hand, though she wasn’t actually rude, Jenny was barely polite. She’d be sixteen tomorrow, and Robin was wrapping her present.

‘I wasn’t sure what to get Jenny for her birthday, so settled on a book as usual. What about you?’

‘Your father is buying her a record player and it will be from both of us. Talk of the devil,’ she said as the telephone rang. ‘That’s probably him now. He usually rings to let me know when to expect him.’

Robin had finished wrapping the book and, intending to put it in his room until tomorrow morning, he followed his mother into the hall, pausing to listen to the one-sided conversation. He gleaned enough to realise there was a problem, but then there was a flurry of activity overhead and he quickly hid his present behind his back as Jenny appeared.

His mother had just replaced the receiver and, leaning over the banister, Jenny said, ‘I heard the telephone. Was it Daddy? When is he arriving?’

Delia’s reply was short. ‘He isn’t coming home.’

‘But…but he promised,’ Jenny cried.

‘Work always comes first with your father and you should have learned that by now. He obviously feels it’s more important than your birthday.’

Jenny looked stricken and fled back to her room.

‘That was a bit harsh, Mother,’ Robin said.

‘I don’t see why. I only told her the truth.’ Then her voice cracked. ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Robin. I was annoyed that your father broke his promise and spoke without thinking. It’s always the same. He causes upset, but it’s me who’s shown in a bad light.’

Robin was alarmed that his mother was still so fragile, so easily upset. ‘You aren’t to blame and I’m sure Jenny knows that. I’ll go and have a word with her.’

‘I…I should do it,’ Delia said, but tears began to come in earnest now.

Robin put an arm around her, leading her back into the drawing room. His mother needed him and Jenny would have to wait.

Jenny was unable to deny the truth of her mother’s words. Her father
had
put his work first, so much so that it was more important than his promise to be there for her birthday. He hadn’t even asked to speak to her, to offer any explanation, and Jenny couldn’t help wondering if it was because she wasn’t his real daughter. Perhaps it wasn’t possible to really love a child who wasn’t your own – that had certainly proved to be the case with Delia.

Jenny hadn’t been able to stand up to her, not with Robin so sure that she had caused this so-called bout of bad nerves, and no matter how much she protested, told him that it was all an act that
their mother dropped when he wasn’t around, Robin didn’t seem to believe her.

All Jenny thought about now was getting out of this house, and she was counting the days to the end of term. Tomorrow, on her birthday, she had planned to tell her parents that she was leaving home – that she and Tina were going to look for a flat together as soon as they left school. She had been worried about her father’s reaction, but wasn’t worried any longer. He wouldn’t care. Once again Jenny was swamped with a familiar feeling, one of loneliness, of something missing in her life. She was alone, without real parents, or anyone else who cared about her.

But wait, she did have someone; she had Tina, who saw them as sisters, and at this thought Jenny came to a swift decision. Of course, she would have to speak to Tina, but she doubted her friend would take any persuasion. Only moments later Jenny went downstairs, saying shortly as she poked her head into the drawing room, ‘I’m going out for a walk.’

She didn’t wait for a response before heading outside. So intent was she on speaking to Tina that her face was gleaming with perspiration by the time she reached Princes Way.

As Jenny entered the block of flats she hoped that Tina’s father was away, the thought of even looking at the man making her stomach churn. She took the lift to the fifth floor and, fingers crossed, she
stepped out to knock on Tina’s door. She was thankful that it was her friend who opened it.

‘Tina, can you come out for a while?’

‘You look all hot and bothered. What’s wrong?’

‘I need to talk to you.’

‘Come on in,’ Tina offered.

‘No, we need to be on our own.’

‘Oh, right. Hang on then. I’ll just grab my shoes.’

‘Tina! Who’s that at the door?’

‘It’s Jenny. We’re just going out for a while, Mum,’ Tina called back. She winked, disappeared for a moment, and then reappeared, hopping on one foot as she put on her other shoe. ‘Right, let’s go.’

Jenny said nothing until the lift doors closed behind them, and then drew in a deep breath. ‘Tina, instead of waiting, I want to leave home now.’

‘What! Blimey, we’ve still got a week till the end of term. What’s brought this on?’

‘I’ve just had enough. You were sixteen last week, and as it’s my birthday tomorrow I can’t see the school kicking up a fuss if we don’t go back.’

‘Yeah, I suppose you’re right. When do you want us to leave?’

‘Tomorrow.’

‘Gawd, that soon?’ Tina said, as they stepped out of the lift, but then she grinned. ‘Yeah, well, as far as I’m concerned it couldn’t have come at a better time. My dad’s due home on Sunday and you know what that means.’

‘Oh Tina, yes, we’ve got to get you out of there. We could pack tonight and leave in the morning.’

‘Yeah, that could work. With the old man arriving, mum is sure to go out to get in a bit of shopping. I could sneak out then, but I won’t be able to say for sure what time it will be.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll have to draw some money from my post office savings book, and after that I’ll wait for you in that café on the corner of the High Street.’

Tina linked arms with Jenny. ‘It all feels like a dream, and I can hardly believe we’re really leaving.’

‘Well we are. I just hope that when we get to Chelsea we’ll be able to find somewhere to stay.’

‘It’ll be a doddle,’ Tina said with assurance. ‘We just need to buy the local paper and there’s sure to be rooms advertised.’

‘Yes, but will they let us move in straightaway?’

‘I dunno, but fingers crossed. If the worst comes to the worst, I suppose there’s always a hotel.’

‘That would soon swallow up my savings,’ Jenny said worriedly.

‘Now you sound like you’re changing your mind.’

‘No, I’m not,’ Jenny insisted.

‘Thank goodness for that. It’ll be great, Jenny, you and me in a place of our own, and in Chelsea too. I wouldn’t mind a job in a boutique on the King’s Road, and at least you won’t be stuck in a boring library.’

Jenny knew that leaving the opportunity of the
library job behind would be her only regret and doubted she’d get such a chance again. For a moment she was saddened but then again staying at home would be far worse. Perhaps she’d be able to find a job in a bookshop and that would be some compensation. Cheered by the thought she said, ‘Right then, I’m off home to sort out what clothes I’m taking. I’ll see you in the morning.’

The two of them retraced their steps and parted outside the flats. Jenny continued on her way, undecided whether to tell her mother she was leaving when she got home or wait until she was packed and ready to go in the morning.