Forgotten Love (Derrien Island Trilogy) (17 page)

“Any hope of getting a cup of that tea as well?
” asked Marcus.

“Sure.” Natasha got up and fixed Marcus a cup and invited him to sit before she sat down.

“Look Marcus, last night was...”

“Natasha, last night was wonderful,
and I love you so much,” interjected Marcus before she could label their experience together as a mistake.

“Marcus,”
she began again before rubbing her temples slowly. “Please listen to me, last night was a mistake. I think that the familiarity got the better of us and we did what we never intended to do. It has only complicated this matter even more.”

“Mistake?
Complicated? How could a man making love to his beautiful wife and her responding to him be a complicated mistake?” he countered. “Natasha I know that you still love me. I heard you say it about a hundred times last night and if you didn’t you would not have been able to respond to me like that. So why are you trying to get me out of your life? Let’s work this out!” he reasoned.

“
I know what I said Marcus, but our marriage can’t work anymore,” said Natasha.

“Who are you trying to convince of that,
me or yourself?” argued Marcus, because you certainly convinced me of the exact opposite last night.”

“Look we are familiar with each other and not seeing each other for a while caused
some old feelings to resurface, that’s all!” said Natasha refusing to look into his eyes for fear that he would see the truth in hers.

“Old feelings? There’s nothing old about the way we feel about each other Natasha.
We’ve only been together for six years now.”

Marcus got up from where he was seated and
squatted down on the floor before his wife and took her hands in his noting that she was still wearing her wedding rings. But he chose not to point that out to her at that moment.

“Natasha, I need to know the truth. Do you love me?
Did I hear you right last night when you were in my arms saying you couldn’t get enough of me?”

“Marcus, why are you doing this to me?” said Natash
a visibly squirming in her seat in discomfort as the intimate memories surfaced in her mind once again.

“I’m not the one doing anything here, you are. You are the one who is insisting on this insanity!” growled Marcus narrowing his eyes to dark slits.

“I told you, I wasn’t myself last night, I think things got out of control between us but it won’t be happening again!” she replied trying to keep the emotion from out of her voice. She had to convince him it was over between them. It was the only way she could see to pursue her dreams on her own, to be the person she always wanted to be.

“Who is Lucas Johnson to you Natasha?”

Caught off-guard by his question, she suddenly remembered that he would know about him because of Sheldon and the airport meeting. This conversation was not going in a direction that she felt comfortable with anymore.

“Lucas? What does h
e have to do with any of this?” she hedged silently wondering exactly what Sheldon told him.

Natasha’s
attempt to sidestep the Lucas issue filled Marcus with frustration.

“
Damn it Natasha, you came here with someone and from the looks of things yesterday you guys seemed really cosy together. Are you having an affair with him?”

“What do you mean
by that? Wait were you following me?” asked Natasha incredulously wondering how he would know that she looked cosy with Lucas.

“You didn’t
give me much of a choice. You left our home so suddenly and then the next thing I hear you were at the airport with a man who had the audacity to be touching you as if you were his wife instead of mine.”

“
I see that Sheldon vastly exaggerated what he saw Marcus. But even if he did, that is what I am trying to tell you, this marriage can’t happen anymore. You and I want different things now and it would be crazy to try to continue.”

“Are you saying that you want a relationship with this man, Natasha?”

“No, that is not what I am saying. I am saying we want different things in life. Our lives are in separate countries now. I need you to accept that and to let things be. This has to be goodbye for us.”

“Do you honestly expect me to believe that?” said Marcus. The dull thudding pain in his heart was now spreading throughout his body again. He studied Natasha’s face and watched as she played with her left ear briefly before snatching away her hand and looking out through the window silently.

“We can work this out Natasha. You never gave us a chance to talk about any of this. Don’t we at least owe that to ourselves for the last six years? Didn’t those years mean anything to you at all?”

“Marcus those years started out great but as we went along we just lost
our connection. Marcus I was miserable there on Derrien with you!” exclaimed Natasha.

“Miserable? How could you say that, we had the makings of a great life toget
her and we can have that again, if you could just give us a chance. I’ve realized now what you have been trying to tell me all along and I am sorry for how I’ve treated you. But you have to know all I was doing was taking care of the woman I love.”

“Marcus it
’s too late! I have already moved on with my life. I am building something great here for myself. Something you are not interested in being a part of,” she replied folding her arms defensively across her chest.

“But that’s
just it, I want to be a part of your life and I can prove it to you. Listen, I was going to surprise you for your birthday but I am just going to tell you straight off, I was going to buy Lucinda’s for you and rename it after you and have it renovated and  add on an art gallery just for your paintings. I know it will be successful. Think of how many tourists and locals visit that restaurant daily. We can make things work Natasha; you don’t have to be out here all alone. Come home with me!”

Pushing her
chair back sharply from the table Natasha could not believe the words she heard come out of her husband’s mouth.

Yes
, she was shocked at the extravagance of his gift to her and his idea about her opening her own art gallery there warmed her heart briefly, but it was still not her full dream. Surely even he could remember that! Owning a restaurant was his dream again not hers! He was still trying to fit her into his mould, his way of thinking!

“Marcus in all the years we have been together I have never felt as
invisible to you as I feel now,” she said standing up.

Marcus rose to his feet
as well, and watched as Natasha trembled and tears flowed from her eyes. Her expression contorted into one of hurt and anger once again. What on earth did she want from him, blood?

“In
visible? I am trying to do what you wanted. You said you wanted to do something you loved and you want to know that you are recognized for something, so I decided to call the restaurant Natasha’s and you can display your art and even sing there if you want. It will be yours!”

“You don’t have a clue about what I want Marcus and I can see that more clearly now than ever. You say you love me, but I am not the woman you met six years ago. That Natasha is gone and she’s not coming back,” she shouted. “Do you know why I am here making a life in Georgia, Marcus? Do you know why?”

“I don’t know, but I know that Lucas somehow convinced you to come out here promising you dreams he probably cannot even deliver
on.”

“What? You see things as far as your
own nose Marcus Nicholls. For all your following me and investigative work you missed one huge detail,” she said as she walked to the farthest part of the room away from Marcus.

Marcus started to
follow her but look on her face stopped him.

“Natasha please talk to me, what is going on?”

“I just signed a multi-million dollar contract with Pacific Sun Records two weeks ago and I am on my way to having the singing career I had always dreamed of. I already have my dream Marcus and I got it without you,” she said adding that last jab resentfully.

Natasha’s
final words struck him like a ten ton wrecking ball.

“Are you saying that Lucas delivered on his promise to you?” he replied
, his voice breaking. Marcus was torn between his emotions. In one instance he was so proud that the world would finally discover what an amazing singer Nat was but he was not the one she chose to share that moment with and that was too much to think about. He felt like such a fool now offering her pittance in the form of singing at her own restaurant when someone else had already laid the world at her feet.

He had
already lost and she did not even bother to tell him before he made a fool of himself.

“How could you even think of coming here and offering me a
n opportunity back on Derrien Island?” she continued. “You of all people knew what my dreams were concerning emigrating here from the beginning and you crushed them every time I opened my mouth to talk about them. You never supported me you never encouraged me to go after the life I had planned for me. It was always about you and that damn house, and those restaurants and now you are trying to blackmail me with Lucinda’s. That is really low, even for you! Go home Marcus, go home where you belong!” spat Natasha.

“You don’t mean that Natasha!
Look I had no idea that you had already signed a contract,” said Marcus.

“
Well now you do! And do you know what has hurt me more than anything else in this whole time I’ve been up here? You were in every dream I had of myself finally achieving this. I wanted you here, not Lucas, not to be doing this alone, not to have to feel that I had to run away from you to finally do something with my life!” she cried bitterly.

Marcus felt as though he had a rag stuck in his throat and he could not swallow, could not speak. It was as though the realization he came to that Saturday morning in Derrien was just a
shallow peek into the life Natasha felt she had with him. What he was seeing now was so much worse. Lucinda had asked him what he was willing to give up for Natasha and he realized that he wanted her back but he was not prepared to give up or compromise anything to really be with her.

Not until now.

“I’ll move back to the US with you if that’s what you want, Nat. I just need to be with you. I am going out of my mind without you in my life!” he confessed.

“
Don’t you think that decision is just a little late and a little too farfetched Marcus? You don’t want to be here with me, you just want to be able to control me, to plan my life for me. Please leave, I will contact a lawyer so that we can begin the proceedings to end this marriage. I think we can do this quickly and quietly. I don’t want anything from you so don’t worry about losing your precious Azure Lodge or any of your possessions to me. I am quite prepared to make a life for myself.”

“Natasha
!” began Marcus walking toward Natasha feeling as though his legs were made of lead.

“No!
No more words, I can’t stand it! I just can’t stand listening to anything you have to say to me anymore!”

“I am so sorry,
I can’t tell you just how sorry I am,” whispered Marcus brokenly trying to grasp her shoulders.

“I’m sure you are!”
she replied sarcastically shrugging out of his reach. Natasha stepped back and stood with her hands outstretched warning him not to come any closer. It was pointless to try to convince her any further. Maybe she was right; last night really was a fluke, just a resurgence of familiar feelings for him. Nothing he had said changed her mind and she certainly did not believe him when he said he would be willing to move here just to be with her. Knowing that he was only a bitter memory and an irritating obstacle for her, hurt more than he could ever have imagined.

“Co
ngratulations on your contract!” whispered Marcus softly.

With those
final words Marcus walked into the bedroom collected his shirt and put it on quickly before he walked out of Natasha’s apartment and left. When the door closed, Natasha sank down to her knees on the floor and cried until she thought that her heart would explode.

Nothing could really describe the utter devastation Marcus was experiencing as he returned to his hotel. He just wanted to shut the door to his room and draw the curtains but that would be impossible considering that Sheldon was there.

He had played the conversation with Natasha through his mind a hundred times since he left her apartment that morning. She was
already building a successful life without him. What had made him think that his offer would have been enough? With the connections he had as an international best-selling author he should have been the one to find a way to arrange a record deal for his wife. After all he personally knew about three people in the industry, including the CEO at the Emperor record label one of the largest in the US. He had met Mr. Trenton Parks at one his recent book signing tour a few months ago and they had a great conversation. He was interested in helping Marcus convert his books on audio with music and effects in the background.