Found (Not Quite a Billionaire Book 3) (15 page)

Finally, he stood back, but he still had his arms around my lower back, was still holding me so close. “Sweetheart,” he said, “I knew there had to be more than one reason I loved you so much. Because you are brilliant.”

“I . . . I am?” My heart was pounding, and the happiness in him was a golden thing, a shining thing. I wanted to stay in this moment forever, watching him feel that. Knowing he was showing it only to me, and that I’d helped him find it.

Soulmates.
That’s what it felt like. His soul touching mine. Something sacred. Something powerful, but not in a solemn way. In a bright way, a beautiful way.

He said, “There’s a Maori word. Wairua. Spirit. The immortal principle, the shining essence. It’s not a separate thing, or even a religious thing. It’s the foundation, the most sacred part of who we are, the part that lives on after our body is gone. It can bubble to the surface, or it can glow beneath, shining out in our eyes, in our voice, in our deeds. And sweetheart—your wairua, it’s . . . it’s a light that shines so strong in you. And it’s beautiful.”

I was crying now. I couldn’t help it. Tears of joy, not sorrow. Tears of gratitude that wouldn’t stay inside me, that had to come out, that had to be shown, to be seen. I was holding Hemi, I was crying, and there was so much love there. So much love, my body couldn’t contain it. It had to come out in my tears.

“I love you,” I told him. “Because you listen. Because you hear. Because you’re so much more than what you show the world, but you show it to me, and I’m so grateful to see it.”

He looked at me, his face for once perfectly open, perfectly joyful. The face he must have shown as a boy, before the hard realities of his life had closed him off and shut him down.

And if life has perfect moments, the ones you’ll remember forever? The sweet, precious pearls of joy you can hold in your heart, the treasures that will still be yours when you’re too old for anything but memories? Surely this was one. Surely this was mine.

Hemi

All too soon, Karen was home again. No time to take Hope back to bed, no matter how much I needed to do it. No time to show her all the things that, no matter what she thought, I knew I could tell her so much better with my willing body than with any clumsy, halting words I could dredge up. No time to make her own body hum and shudder and convulse until all she could do was sigh with satisfaction and fall asleep draped across my chest, or to make sure she’d remember exactly what she was missing when I was gone.

Instead, it was time to drive back to the hospital and bring Koro home. Time for me to go home myself, where I’d have the space I needed to handle all the problems closing in on me, unhampered by distractions and untidiness of any sort.

If that didn’t sound as good as it once had, I needed to adjust my attitude fast. I did what I had to do, and just now, this was it. Otherwise, I could lose most of what I’d spent a lifetime building, and lose Hope along with it. Despite what she’d said, I knew that no woman wanted a loser. My dad was proof enough of that.

When we walked back into the hospital room late that Sunday morning, it was as crowded as I’d expected. Three vases of flowers crowded the meager table space, and a couple of bright helium balloons bounced against the ceiling. And then there were all the people. Tane and June and their kids, together with Auntie Flora. And for the first time since I’d been here, my cousin Matiu, leaning against the wall checking his phone.

“Good,” Koro said at sight of me. “They say they’re going to let me out at last, and I wasn’t about to wait for you.”

“We’ve heard the instructions from the doctor already,” Matiu said, shoving the phone back into his pocket. “All good. Got a printout for Hope as well.”

“Hi, Matiu,” Karen said, bright and eager as a sparrow. “I thought maybe you weren’t around anymore.”

“Nah,” he said with that patented smile that, Tane had told me, still had girls falling at his feet. “Been working, for my sins. I’ll follow you home, Hemi, so I can fill Hope in and get Koro well settled. I can give him a bit of a check once we get there, make sure nothing’s gone awry during the journey.”

Koro said, “Think I can ride in a car for twenty minutes and go sit in my own house without needing a physical, thank you very much. Those nurses have been in here every time I turn around. Dunno what they’re checking for. If my heart had stopped, they’d know it. I’ve got a bit of a sore head and arm, and nothing else in the world the matter with me.”

“Hmm,” Matiu said, the light in his eyes and the twitch at the corner of his mouth the only signs of the smile he was suppressing. “Call it being cautious with the whanau’s treasure.”

Koro snorted at that, and Matiu looked more amused than ever. Everything was a joke with him even now, and as always, it annoyed me. He said, “Tane and I will switch off coming out to help Koro with his bath and all, depending on my schedule, and that’ll be good as well. I can keep my eye on the arm, and if Hope has any questions, I can answer them, and do anything else she and Koro need. Hope doesn’t have a driving license, I hear.”

“I don’t,” Hope said. “Which I realize makes more work for the others.”

“No worries,” Matiu said. “We can give you a hand with that as well, I’m thinking. Karen, too, as she’s turned sixteen. Driving lessons, eh. Between Tane and June and me, we should be able to get that sorted.” He flashed some more grin at the two of them. If women were drawn to me because I was closed off, with Matiu, it was the opposite. He was everything that promised a good time, even if he never promised a single thing more. Or delivered it.

Well, that wasn’t quite fair. He was a doctor as well, and that hadn’t been easy. In any case, Karen seemed to have no qualms, whatever I’d told her about men. She smiled back at Matiu and murmured, “Oh, goody,” at Hope, and that wasn’t the best.

Hope winced beside me, and I realized I was squeezing her hand too tightly and relaxed my own with an effort. We’d talked about driving lessons, after all. If she needed to be able to drive and swim to feel ready to marry me, then I reckoned she should learn to drive and swim. And if I’d rather be the one overseeing all that? I’d already seen how my attempts at full control had worked out. As for Karen, I had to admit that Hope didn’t seem any worse at managing her than I was. And Matiu was my cousin. He’d hardly set his considerable sights on my soon-to-be sister-in-law, all sixteen years old of her.

Better for Karen, surely, to have a bit of a crush, if it happened, than to deal with an actual hormone-crazed boy who’d be coming around when I wasn’t there, taking her for a walk through the orchards, maneuvering to be alone with her in exactly the same way I’d done with every girl I could get my hands on in my own younger days. She’d have Koro around to give every bloke the look, after all. Koro’s look was as effective as my own, concussion or no, and his mana was second to none.

Hope, seemingly unaware of any treacherous undercurrents, said, “Driving lessons would be amazing for both of us. Efficient, too, if we can get them together. I’m guessing it would be a whole lot easier to start learning here than in New York City.”

“How long will you be staying?” Matiu asked.

“Three weeks for Karen,” Hope said. “Six or so for me, maybe more. We’ll see.”

That earned some interested looks I could have done without, until Koro said, “I know Hemi knows how to drive, anyway, and it’s high time he shook up a nurse and got me out of here. I want my own chair, my own bed, and my own garden. Want my own food, come to that. We’ll stop at Countdown along the way. I can have a sandwich at my own table, and not a minute too soon.”

A couple hours later, and there was no putting it off.

I thought I’d hardened myself against temptation long ago. I’d practiced discipline and self-control for so many years, they were second nature. Today, though—today, I wanted something else. I wanted to take Hope on another walk, to back her up against the smooth bark of an avocado tree in Koro’s back garden or, better yet, to pull her down into my lap on a handy bench, because Hope in my lap was one of my favorite things. I wanted to take my time kissing her until her mouth was swollen and her eyes were closed, until my hands were all over her and her entire body was yielding to mine, until I’d lost my own inhibitions and could whisper everything I yearned to say about the way I needed her. No fear, and no restraint.

After that, I wanted to sit with Koro, watch the recap of the weekend’s rugby, and drink a beer. I wanted to cook dinner with Hope and Karen and eat it at the little table in the best house in the world. I wanted to be the one who helped Koro with his bath and put him to bed, and then I wanted to take Hope to our own bed and take care of her in every way there was.

I wanted to be the man of my family. But to do that, I had to set my wishes aside and leave all of them. Life wasn’t about doing what you wanted. It was about doing what you had to do.

Saying goodbye to Koro came first. In the end, the drive home and the wait in the Countdown carpark while the rest of us did a quick shop had tired him more than he’d been willing to admit, and there’d been a tinge of gray to his skin by the time Matiu and I had been helping him into the house. He hadn’t objected too strenuously when we’d got him into his pj’s and helped him climb into bed again before Matiu left.

“Hope and Karen are making you a sandwich,” I said. “And Matiu will be back tonight.”

“I’m not deaf,” he said with little enough heat that I recognized it for the pro forma protest it was. “I know he’s coming back. Can hardly get rid of him, can I.”

“Good.” I put the TV remote next to his hand and rearranged a vase of flowers on the bedside table so he could reach the water glass more easily. “I can be back within the day if I’m needed. By you
or
Hope. Maybe you can remind her of that.”

As soon as I’d said it, I knew it was weak, but Koro’s tired, wise old eyes had already shifted to mine. “No worries, my son. She loves you, and she’s not your mum. What’s a month or two compared to a lifetime? Nothing. Laying the foundation, that’s all.”

“You’ve been talking to her.” When could he have done that?

“I don’t need to talk to her to know that. I know it’s hard for you to follow somebody else’s lead, but in this, the woman sets the pace. No way around it. She tells you when you’ve got there, but once you have, there’ll be no budging her. She’ll be solid as the ridge post in the marae, exactly like your Kuia was for me. A woman to build your life around.”

I was having some trouble with my eyes. I took his hand, as weathered and gnarled as the pohutukawa where Hope and I had sat the day before, squeezed it gently, and leaned forward to hongi him again.

“Go,” he said. “I’m all good, and you have things to do. You’re better there.”

“Three weeks,” I told him. “Then I’m back to collect Karen, and to see the two of you.”

“Three weeks,” he said. “I’ll be up and around, and your heart will be easier, because you’ll see that you don’t have to be with her to take care of your woman. I reckon you may do that better now than when you had her with you.”

“I’ll be doing that,” I said, and then, because the words wouldn’t stay inside, I added, “Take care of yourself. Please.”