Fractured Affections (The Affections Series Book 1) (20 page)

“I don’t know. Who is us exactly?” she asks, probably assuming Striker will be there.

“Just me and the boys. We haven’t spent a day together in months,” I say with a pouty lip. “Please.”

A small smile tugs at her lips and I know she has missed me too. “I don’t think I can cancel, but I could come over after. It shouldn’t take me long.”

“Oh, come on, what’s so important that you can’t cancel for your best friend?”

“Okay, Rea, like you’ve been around for me. You dropped me as soon as Striker came to town,” she says with a bit of anger.

“Sorry, I was just teasing, if you can’t cancel, I understand. What is it you need to do? Do you need any help?”

She waves her hand dismissively in my direction. “No, no. I’m good and it shouldn’t take me long. You gonna take Kiley with you? I can get done faster that way.”

“Sure.” She obviously doesn’t want to talk to me about her plans for today, so I let it go for the moment. “Do you want to order some food later?”

“That’s fine. I can stop at the liquor store on the way over. Do you mind packing Ki a bag, while I finish cleaning up down here? We’ll just stay over if I can’t drive home.”

“You sure you’re okay with that? I’m not sure when Striker will be home.” I’m still concerned that she isn’t over what happened between them.

Riley walks over to the kitchen counter, picking up her coffee. She raises her cup in silent question.

“No thank you. I drank a bit much last night, I don’t think my stomach can handle coffee right now.”

“Oh well, sounds like you guys had fun,” she says, as she raises an eyebrow while looking over her mug.

I don’t typically drink like I did last night. I can’t even remember the last time I was drunk, but I sure made up for it. I thought, by taking the edge off, it would be easier to loosen up and enjoy time with Striker. Instead, I completely embarrassed myself.

“Well, we can talk more about that later. Let’s just say, I’m not happy with myself right now.”

“Was Reagan a bad girl last night?” Riley turns and places her cup in the sink, trying to hide the smirk on her face.

“I know. That makes you proud, but I feel like shit about it. I behaved like an idiot.”

Riley comes to stand in front of me, placing her hands on my shoulders. “Reagan, none of us are perfect. It’s okay to have a bad moment every now and again. If you need help moving past acting like an ass, let me know. Lord knows I’ve done it enough times.”

“Oh stop. You’re just looking for love in all the wrong places.”

She laughs at my statement and releases her hold on me. “Please, Reagan. I was looking to end up dead in a ditch somewhere with my terrible actions.” Turning away from me she heads toward the door, grabbing her keys and purse. “Listen, I’ll head out now and hopefully I can get done early. You okay to gather the kids? And don’t forget a bag for Kiley.”

“I’m fine, go ahead and do your secret business. I got the kids.”

Riley leaves through the kitchen door while blowing me a kiss. I stand there for a moment trying to figure out what she is up to. Usually she is dying to tell me everything. I just hope it’s not another nameless man that she is easily giving herself to. I know she doesn’t believe that she deserves a good man and is willing to settle for whatever attention a man throws her way, but she truly deserves the best. I’ve never been able to rely on another woman the way I can rely on her.

I know for a fact that she can be jealous of my life, just because I have a loving husband and a solid family structure at home, but she never lets her jealously affect our friendship. Deep down she has always wanted what I have but never blamed me for having it. Most women don’t work that way. I hate that she doesn’t have the family she longs for. She deserves for all of her dreams to come true.

I walk down the hall of her rancher and knock on Kiley’s door. With no answer, I turn the knob, finding it’s locked. Knocking again, “Kiley? Boys? Anyone in there?”

I hear some rustling but still no answer. “Open up! I know you’re in there, I can hear you.”

While jiggling the handle again, it’s yanked from my hand when the door flies open. Max is standing there looking very suspicious. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing, are we going home now?” Max says and walks past me to the living room.

I see Kiley sitting on her bed with her head down when I walk into her room. “Hey, Ki, wanna come with us? Mom’s gonna meet us back at our house, so we can all hang out for the day.”

“Do I have to?”

“Well, your mom already left to take care of something, so yeah, I guess you do, sweetie. What’s wrong? You always want to come over.” I take a seat next to her on the bed and place my hand on her back.

“Nothing, I just think Max doesn’t like me anymore. I thought we were best friends.” Her little hand reaches up and swipes under her nose.

“What? Of course Max likes you. He loves you actually. I had boys as best friends too, growing up. Sometimes things are a little hard only because boys and girls are so different, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t best friends anymore.” I grab her hand in mine and stand from the bed. “Come on, let’s pack you a bag, in case your mom decides you will spend the night, and then we’ll head to my house for a day of fun, okay?”

Nodding her head, she stands, and heads to her closet for her duffel bag. “I guess so.”

“Okay, well, how about this. I woke up feeling a little sad too, this morning, so it sounds like we could both use some cheering up. We always have fun when we get together. Let’s both put a smile on our face and try to have a good day. Maybe for some extra cheering up, we can go get some ice cream later.”

Kiley slowly turns toward me with a small smile and nods her head yes. I think the offer of ice cream just sealed the deal, plus it’ll make me feel better too. We finish packing her overnight bag and find the boys to go home.

It only takes Riley two hours to arrive to my house, with wine in hand. It’s a beautiful day outside, so we head out back to let the kids run and play, while we rest on the deck. The sun is shining and warms my skin. With my wine glass in hand, I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, absorbing the sounds of laughter coming from my kids. It calms me, gives me balance, and helps me to understand what’s important.

“Whatcha thinking about over there?”

Slowly peeling my eyes open I look over to Riley. “Just that I needed this, some normalcy. Thanks for coming over. I’ve missed getting together.”

“So, any word about breaking free from that splint?” Riley raises her glass to take a sip of her wine while looking out over the yard.

“I’m hoping next week. I still had a little bit of weakness in my hand, so the doctor thought keeping it on for an extra week or two wouldn’t hurt.”

“Well, Dalton will be home soon, so we all know you need that hand in good working order,” she says, giving me a derisive look.

Riley catches me off guard with her statement, and I almost spit wine all over her from laughing with a mouthful. Once I finally choke my wine down, laughter bubbles from my chest. That is another thing I love about Riley, even though I don’t agree with her choice to be free with her body, her ability to turn everything into a sexual innuendo always makes me laugh.

“When will your hot ass man be home again?”

“Tomorrow evening, hopefully. I need to see him. I guess, I shouldn’t have wasted my baby sitter ticket on going out with Striker. I should have saved it for when Dalton comes home, but I know the boys miss him too.”

“You know I’ll watch them anytime. You’re right, though, they do miss him. I think Dylan needs to see him the most, though. He’s a strong boy but his situation is tough. I think once Dalton is home, and he sees he’s not losing a father but gaining one then he’ll be okay.”

Looking back out to the yard, I take a deep breath. Dylan hasn’t come to me much to talk about Striker being his real father. I’m glad that he can go to Riley for comfort, but it hurts a bit knowing I broke his trust enough that he doesn’t come to me. “So, he talked to you about it?”

“Yes, and I know you are over there beating yourself up but stop. He just needs time. He loves all three of you; so don’t push him, okay? Let him figure all this out at his own pace.” Reaching over Riley places her hand over mine.

“I am, but it just kills me since we have always been so close, and now he isn’t coming to me to talk about it.” I tip my head back and stare up at the beautiful blue sky. “Let’s talk about something else. I want this to be a fun day.”

The laughter from the kids, as they run around playing hide and seek, resonates around me. Watching them be carefree and happy makes me wish for simpler times, but it’s never really been that way for me. Even from a young age, I knew what real stress was. Looking at my kids, I’m glad I can give them this, a happy home, with parents that love them and want to be there for them. Hell, they’re lucky enough to have three parents, when I couldn’t even scrap up one as a child. Striker loves all the boys, too. I know in my heart, he will always treat them equally.

“How is Dalton? Ready to come home?” Riley asks.

“Yeah, he’s good, I guess, only get short conversations from him recently. He hasn’t Facetimed me in a while, either. Every time I try, he ignores it and just calls me.”

“What’s up with that? That doesn’t sound like him.” Riley’s eyebrows furrow as she stares at me.

“I know. It’s weird. His only answer is that he’s really busy trying to finish up to come home.” I raise my glass of wine, taking another sip, trying not to think about how strange his behavior has been lately.

“He’s probably homesick. I’m sure it will all be fine when he comes home and you help him relieve some tension, if you know what I mean.” Winking at me, she starts to chuckle to herself.

“Well, I guess it will be different to relieve tension together, but he’s been doing that over the phone,” I respond and we continue to laugh.

“You dirty girl, Rea! Why is this the first time I’m hearing about this?” Riley sits straight in her seat, turning to look at me like I’ve insulted her.

“Oh, please, like I ever go into detail about my sex life.”

“I know; it’s disappointing. You really should tell me more. I may be able to give you some pointers. That’s what best friends are for.” A cheesy grin spreads across her face like she’s joking, but we both know she is dead serious.

“No way, Ri, not happening.”

“Come on, don’t be such a prude. I’m trying to cut back on my bad habit of strange men. The least you could do is let me indulge in your sex life.” Sticking out her bottom lip out she dramatically pouts at me.

“Yeah, well from things I’ve heard you say, my so called sex life may be a little on the dull side.” Leaning forward I grab the bottle of wine, refilling my glass.

“Have you seen your husband? He is hotter than hell and I bet he has a huge-“

“STOP!” I practically yell and raise my hand to cut off her comment.

Riley can’t help but laugh at herself. I’m glad my discomfort makes her so happy. I hate to share my private moments with Dalton. I feel like some things should just be ours. We don’t have many of those, because of the kids, so I hold on to our time spent alone, not even divulging it to Riley. However, I’m completely embarrassed by my actions last night. I know I can’t carry around this secret.

I go over every detail from the night before with Riley. She only interrupts, a couple times, to help herself understand what went on between Striker and myself. I know how to handle Striker. We need separation and to stop pushing this friendship bullshit. Dalton is another story. I can’t keep this from him. It would eat me alive. I need Riley to help me come up with the best plan to confront him with all that happened. The biggest challenge will be telling him that I was trying to use his mistakes to be vindictive to get my way.

I have never been the type of person to retaliate. Even though most would think that I married Dalton to hurt Striker, but they couldn’t be more wrong. I don’t like to hurt people. I can’t even begin to formulate Dalton’s response in my head. I think that is what scares me the most. I can’t predict his reaction. I hope he understands how much I love him and that I never meant to jeopardize our marriage.

Riley talks to me for a little while longer about her outlook on things, and how she would handle it. She knows Dalton fairly well, and we decide that I should not wait. The sooner I tell him everything, the better it will go over, and I won’t be torturing myself keeping this a secret.

We didn’t drink too much, but I just don’t want to be alone tonight, so I ask Riley to stay. After getting all the kids to bed, she climbs in my bed with me, and we have a sleepover together like a bunch of teenagers. I’m glad we had this time together. I have to realize that solving everything on my own is unnecessary and only adds to the stress of the situation. It’s all right to ask others for help and when you have a friend like Riley, I know I will never have to go through anything alone.

Chapter Seventeen

Reagan

I’m lying in bed the next evening lost in thought. I’m torn between the excitement I feel to see Dalton and the uncertainty I feel since Striker never returned. I try to focus on the positive, but I fear that my actions pushed Striker too far. What if he doesn’t come back? What will that do to Dylan? I’m trying to keep my thoughts in check, but the only word I’ve heard from him was a text message saying that he’s still finishing up some business. I was so upset about him not returning that I didn’t even respond.

While having dinner with the boys, we talk about their father and how excited they are for him to come home. Dylan seems a little hesitant to join in, but we sit down before bed, and he actually talks to me about how he is feeling. It feels good to have a moment like this with him. It could be the worst news in the world but it is nice to know he is making progress and working on forgiving me.

Dylan shares his fear that his relationship with Dalton will change, and that he also doesn’t want to hurt his feelings if he wants to spend time with Striker. “What happens if I want to do something with Striker, but it’s something I usually do with Dad?”