Fractured Hearts (Shattered Lives, Book Three) (18 page)

Impatiently waiting after she knocked, Nick finally opened the door. “Hey,” Elaina said.

“Come on in,” he said.

Walking into his room, the first thing Elaina saw was one of Josie’s hoodies draped over a chair. After a deep inhale, she tried to keep the thoughts of him putting the moves on Josie out of her mind.

He grabbed a couple of chairs and they sat at the small table toward the back of the room.

“What’s up, Lainy?” he asked, twisting his ball cap backward on his head, leaving his overgrown hair sneaking out around the edges.

“I have some concerns I wanted to address with you,” she said in her best “Elaina means business” voice. Seeing him so somber at the hardware store, then so happy to be around Josie bothered her quite a bit.

“All right. Shoot. Wait… Don’t take me literally.” He smiled.

“You’re a regular fucking comedian, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. I suppose that would be the case.” He looked down at his nails and picked the dirt out from under them.

Elaina struggled getting the words out. She didn’t ever talk too much about Claire. It always took her down a road she didn’t want to travel on. Nick looked up at her, waiting.

“Okay, here it goes. I just have to say it. What’s going on with you and Josie?” His face went blank as she leaned forward, challenging him. “Hello? I asked you a question.”

“I heard you. I just don’t know how to respond to that.”

She didn’t want to flat out ask if he was fucking her. “It’s easy. Just say what’s going on with her.” She was growing impatient quicker than usual.

“To be honest, it’s not your concern, but I will say that she’s a great girl. Underneath the emo vibe, she’s really an intelligent, loving person. She can play the guitar like nobody’s business. It makes me look like I’m just learning.”

“Ugh! This is not about her guitar playing ability!” Then it slipped out, “Are you fucking her?”

Nick’s jaw dropped open, appalled by her accusation. “No, I’m not! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

“What the fuck is wrong with
you
?!” Elaina bit back.

“Me?!
You’re
the one asking if
I’m
fucking people!”

Elaina slammed her hand on the table. “I asked you if you were fucking Josie,
not people
.”

He stood, pushing the chair into the wall behind him. “Frankly, Elaina, that’s none of your damn business!”

“It is my concern! Have you forgotten about Claire and Willow?”

His breath hitched and his jaw trembled when their names came out. He was trying to hold back his emotions, but he struggled. “No. I have not. And don’t you
ever
accuse me of doing so.” The hurt in his coarse voice was palpable. He stared at Elaina in resentful silence for a moment, then headed straight for the door.

“Nick! Wait…” With his jaw set tight, he turned around to face his sister, tears trickling down his face. “I’m sorry. I just see you with her and–”

Nick cut her off. “My brain says to go with Josie and be with her, but my heart won’t allow it. I’ve kissed her and made out with her a little, but no,
I’m not fucking her
. I can’t bring myself to do it. I end up just holding her because that’s all I can offer. We have connected through music, and talking about something else besides the tragedy I live with day in and day out makes me feel good.” Then he confessed, “I think I love her.”

“Love her?” Elaina whispered. “How can you move on so quickly, Nick?”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do? Enlighten me, Elaina. I have no fucking clue how I’m supposed to make it through a day without Claire and Willow, but
I have to
. I don’t have a choice in the matter. I don’t know how to do it, and Josie has been available to help me. She has been a great shoulder for me…unlike my only sister.”

The pain in his eyes damn near killed her. “I’m sorry if you feel I haven’t been there for you.”

“You have been dealing with your own stuff with Henry,” he mumbled. “She has offered herself to me on a few occasions, but I have either rejected her or I stop before it goes too far. I can’t share that with anyone else. When Claire and I made love, I felt whole. She made me feel how I wanted to feel. But I can talk to Josie, and she doesn’t just hear me
.
She
listens
. I’m so fucking confused.” He paused to swallow a few times. “Josie has spent the night with me a few times when I needed someone beside me. I can’t do this life alone. I miss Claire so fucking much. And with Willow not making it, I have nothing from either one of them. I will
never
forget them but, Christ, I have to live somehow. I think about them all the time—day and night.” Elaina felt like a complete ass. He still loved Claire, and he was crippled with sadness and despair. Nick stared at her, wiping the tears off his face with his sleeve. “I’m done with this conversation,” he whimpered, then yanked open the door and took off.

Elaina chased him down the hallway. “Nick…Nick! Wait!”

He turned around. With a serious ache in his voice, he said, “Just leave me the hell alone. Stop interfering with my life. It’s not your job to fix me. You can’t even keep your own relationship together for more than a few days. Worry about yourself and not about me.” Then he jogged off.

Josie came out of her room. Nick stopped when he reached her. “Nick? What’s wrong?” She reached out for him, but he pushed her away. “Nick…” He ran off down the hall, past the cafeteria. Elaina had no idea where he was going, but she thought it would be wise not to chase after him. “What did you do to him?!” Josie snapped at her.

Elaina couldn’t speak. They starred at each other for a few moments before Josie took off after him. Elaina stalked off into her room and fell apart.

“Nick! Nick! Wait up!” Josie chased him down the hall, past the cafeteria, and all the way down the other wing of classrooms.

He opened a door and slipped into a room, slamming the door behind him. She stopped outside and pressed her ear to it. The first thing she heard was him just venting. A few things crashed, then he belted out a scream.

It became quiet. She pressed her ear harder to the door and heard the unmistakable sounds of Nick crying. Josie barged in and saw him curled in a ball on the floor, sobbing.

She rushed to him. “Nick… I don’t know what happened, but I’m so sorry it made you this upset.” Sitting, she pulled him to her chest, wrapping her arms around him. He choked on his own tears. Pulling off his hat, she ran her slender fingers through his messy hair. As Josie rocked him side-to-side, Nick sagged against her chest and held on for dear life.

When he finally calmed enough to talk, he leaned back and wiped his face with his sleeve. He was in sad shape—swollen eyes, red face, and still choking up. “I’m sorry,” he croaked.

“No. Don’t be,” she soothed. “Talk to me.”

“I’m just so angry and…and fucking hurt.”

“What happened?”

“I support her. I spent a long ass time wanting to beat the fuck out of Henry for his drinking because he hurt my sister over and over again. I can’t even begin to tell you what he has put her through. Do you know what he did to her?”

“No…,” Josie worried.

“He manipulated her so badly, I can’t even bring myself to tell her.”

“What did he do?”

“One time, he held a gun to his head. I spent quite some time trying to talk him out of ending his life because she needs him. After several attempts, Elaina was finally able to get him to put down the gun. And do you know what that fucker did?”

“No…,” she replied with caution.

“The gun was empty, Josie.
It was fucking empty
.” Her jaw dropped open. “Claire talked me out of beating him. I
so
wanted to teach that fucker a lesson for treating my sister like that, but Claire wouldn’t let me. I was told I had to support her no matter what, so that’s what I fucking did,” he growled. “That’s exactly what I did. I put up with his bullshit just for her.”

“Wow…”

“Yeah…wow. And now, when I need her support, she tears me to bits. Why, Josie? Why would she do that to me? Why…?” He fell apart again. She scooted across the floor and grabbed him. “Why would she treat me that way?” he cried into her neck.

Josie kissed his cheek and held his face in her hands. “I don’t know, but I’m here for you.
I
am your support.”

“Thank you,” he choked out. “Please don’t say anything to her about the empty gun. I promised Claire I would never tell her. I can’t beak my promise to her.”

“What empty gun?” Josie smiled.

Nick smirked through his tears. “You’re pretty awesome, you know that?” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across hers. “Thank you. I needed that.”

She cupped her tiny hand around his scruffy cheek. “Any time you need to talk or get out your emotions, I am here for you. I promise. You can count on me to be here to listen.”

“Thank you. You have no idea how much that means to me.” He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. Quietly, they held one another.

Gunther lay back on their bed after another amazing lovemaking session with Quinn. “Love?” he lazily sighed.

“Yeah?” she answered in the same tone.

“Have I ever told you how much you please me?”

She laughed. “Everyday.”

“And how beautiful you are?”

“Everyday.”

“Goddamn, woman. You make my toenails curl.” He rolled over and spooned her. She pushed her ass right into his hips and rubbed. “Keep doing that and I will pound your arse hard.”

She laughed again. “Well, maybe I should put a little distance between us then.” She tried to pull away, but he curled his arm around her tighter, holding her closer.

“No, you don’t,” he murmured, latching onto her earlobe, causing her to moan, turning him on again. His heavy length was ready for more attention.

Just as Gunther was rolling on top of Quinn and kissing her as if his life depended on it, someone knocked on their door. He lifted his head, but she grabbed him and pulled him back down to her lips. While slipping his tongue into her mouth, the knock came again.

“Fuck,” he growled against her lips. “This better be good. Like, someone had better be dead.”

He stood and pulled on his jeans, tucking his hard length away for the moment. Quinn scurried around and dressed. Holding a shirt in front of him, he went to the door.

Josie was standing in the hall, not looking well. “Is Quinn around?”

“Yeah.” Gunther turned back to make sure Quinn had dressed, then waved Josie in.

Quinn approached and took Josie’s arms. “What’s going on, sweetheart?”

“Can I talk to you…alone?” Her eyes flickered to Gunther.

“Let me change into my gym shorts and I’ll be out of here in a sec.” He grabbed his clothes and headed into the bathroom. Moments later, he was leaving the room, heading to the gym to work off his sexual frustration.

“Do you want to sit?” Quinn asked as the door shut behind him.

Josie shuffled to a chair next to the desk. Quinn hopped up and sat on the desk with her hands tucked under her thighs.

“I need to talk about something and you’re the only one I feel I can turn to.”

“All right. I’m all ears.”

Josie fidgeted with her fingers, pulling loose threads from the tattered knees of her jeans. “I think I’m in love with Nick.” Quinn wasn’t surprised by the confession. She had noticed them becoming closer, and Josie seemed happy and almost carefree when she was with him. “We’ve been hanging out more, even alone in his room.”

In a flash, Quinn was concerned about Josie getting pregnant. “Are you having sex with him?”

“No.” Josie looked down and seemed sad, making Quinn furrow her brows.

“What’s going on, Josie? Talk to me.”

Letting out a long breath, she said, “He’s still in love with Claire, so we haven’t fully…connected. We’ve kissed and touched a little, but nothing more than that. He asks me to stay the night in his room so he can hold me all night. It’s like he needs someone there, so I stay just for that. It hurts, but I want to be there for him.”

“Sweetie…” Quinn was upset for Josie, but she didn’t want to show her that. “I understand what you’re doing, but I just want to give you a little motherly advice.” Quinn hopped off the desk and knelt in front of her, taking Josie’s trembling hands, locking eyes. “Listen to me carefully and do what you will with my advice. Nick’s heart is with Claire. He will never be able to fully commit to you as long as that’s the case. The last thing you want or need to happen is to get pregnant on top of that. Don’t rush your relationship with him. He may be able to move forward with you in the future, but he needs a friend more than a lover right now. I won’t be angry with you or scold you if you decide to move deeper into this relationship. I will support you and be there for you one hundred and ten percent. I’m just worried you will get your heart broken. I advise you to stay guarded and take things slow. He’s a broken-hearted man.”

“It hurts because he says he wants to be with me, he trusts me, and he thinks I’m talented and beautiful…”

“You
are
all of those things. He’s right about that.”

“But we… Ugh.” Josie blushed.

“What, sweetie?”

“I’m a virgin,” she mumbled. “We were doing some stuff and he… Christ, this is so embarrassing.”

“It’s okay. Say what you need to say,” Quinn encouraged. “I won’t judge and it will be between you and me.”

“He was touching me, but I recoiled when he… It hurt and he immediately stopped.”

“Gotcha. Well, maybe he’s right. It’s obvious that he cares about you. Okay?” Josie nodded. “Just relax. Until then, support him and offer him comfort when he needs it. Just be available for him, but don’t try to rush into anything yet.”

“Okay.”

“Does that help?”

Josie smiled. “Yes, it does. Thank you. But there’s one other thing.” Josie swallowed hard. “Elaina doesn’t support our relationship. I chased him down after she chewed him a new asshole. He was sobbing so hard, I thought he was going to be sick. It was so difficult to watch him fall apart like that.”

“That’s…” She shook her head. “It’s sad. He’s been through so much. You tell him if he needs a neutral party to talk to, he can come to me at any time.”

“I will. Thank you. I know he will appreciate that.” They both stood. “Well, I’m going to go. I need to clear my head.”

“It was nice chatting with you.” Quinn smiled, then pulled Josie into a hug before walking her to the door. “Come to me any time about anything.”

“Thank you.”

Josie left the room with no answers, but at least she got some things off her chest.