Fractured Light (17 page)

“Maybe I shouldn’t have brought you here,” Christian mumbled.

“What? No. I’m so glad you did.” I turned to him. “Thank you.”

He smiled and reached for my hat. Instinctively, I moved away.

“Do you mind?”

I didn’t say yes or no, but I didn’t move away either. Christian took off my beanie and ran his fingers through my hair.

“I don’t know why you cover this up. It’s so beautiful.”

I looked down. “How much longer do you think the trees will look like this?”

“Turn around.”

I turned back around. The sun had already shifted positions; its light no longer transformed the leaves.

“It’s only like this for a few minutes,” he said.

“Thank you for showing it to me. It was awesome.”

“You act like this is the end of our date.”

“Isn’t it?”

He shook his head. “Not quite. Hop on. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

Back at the car, Christian stopped me just as I was about to get into the passenger seat. “There’s one rule. You have to wear this.” From behind his back he produced a black bandana.

“What? Why?”

“It’s a surprise. I don’t want you to see where we’re going.”

“Can’t I just keep my eyes closed?”

“No, you’ll be tempted to peek. Now turn around so I can put this on you.”

I eyed him suspiciously, but then smiled and did what he asked. He tied the bandana around my eyes and helped me into the car. After I heard the driver’s-side door close, I expected to hear the sound of the cars engine, but after a minute of silence, I finally said, “Christian? What are you doing?”

“Right. Sorry. I just can’t get over how beautiful you are.”

I laughed, remembering the last time a guy had said something about my looks. “Whatever. Let’s go.”

“I’m serious.”

“Uh-huh. I know I look like the bride of Frankenstein or something. You don’t have to say things like that.”

“What are you talking about? Your exotic look only makes you that much more beautiful.” I felt his hand move across my knee and give it a gentle squeeze.

I grew quiet. “Can we just go?” I was not prepared for this. I thought this was going to be a “friend” date, but the way he was acting, maybe this was more? Dare I hope?

He waited a second before finally starting the car. We drove in silence, and I hoped that I hadn’t made him mad, but not long after, he began to whistle and took hold of my hand. His warm palm felt good since mine was inexplicably cold. I slid over next to him and rested my head on his shoulder.

A short time later Christian turned onto what felt like a dirt road. I could tell by the way we bounced around as if we were riding in a horse-drawn carriage. “Where are we?” I asked.

“In the mountains. It’s not far now.”

Several minutes later he stopped the car. “We’ll have to hike the rest of the way.”

I cringed. “How far?” “Not far. Don’t worry. I’ll help you if you need it.”

I know he said he’d help me, but he probably wasn’t counting on me being so clumsy. He practically had to carry me the entire way as I kept tripping over the smallest things. Without my eyesight, I was ten times worse. I wished it was a full moon, or even a half moon. He probably thought I was the weakest girl he’d ever met.

Christian stopped and let go of me. A moment later I heard a zipping sound. “Duck your head and step up,” he told me.

“I’ll try.” I did what he said, but still tripped and fell onto canvas-like material.

“You can take the blindfold off now,” Christian said.

I ripped off the bandana and about fainted when I saw what he’d done.

W
E WERE INSIDE A TENT THAT LOOKED LIKE IT WAS MEANT
for eight people. It had been filled with pillows on one side and on the opposite end was a big screen TV. A pizza box and a six pack of root beer lay in the middle.

“This is awesome. How did you get electricity out here?” I asked.

He flashed me a you’ll-never-know smile. “Hungry?”

“Starving.”

“Help yourself. I’ll start the movie.”

I moved to the other side of the tent, still in shock that he was able to pull something like this off. But I was also incredibly flattered. No one had ever done anything this thoughtful for me before.

After we ate, we propped ourselves up with pillows behind our backs. He continued to hold my hand, even caressing it sometimes. I tried to pay attention to the movie, which was one of my favorites, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Christian and all the effort he had put into our “date.” I kept glancing over at him, and I noticed he was doing the same back.

Finally I couldn’t stand it anymore. Before I could reason my next move, I sat up and stared directly in his eyes. And then, as if he were thinking the same thing, we moved together, our lips ready.

I’d love to say we shared a passionate kiss, a kiss to end all other kisses, but as far as first kisses go, this one was a complete dud. Two fishes bumping into each other would’ve had more passion. It’s not that I wasn’t attracted to him and hopefully vice versa; it’s just that when our lips met, Christian suddenly froze. His lips stayed unnaturally still for a few seconds until he finally moved away. I stared at him, lips still puckered.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—I don’t know what I was thinking.” He dropped his head into his hands.

I glanced to my left, hoping someone would be offstage. Line? But no one was around to tell me what to say during such an awkward moment.

Eventually he looked up at me. “I like you. Really I do, but I can’t get serious.”

“It was just a kiss. I didn’t know we were getting serious.”

“That’s what kisses lead to.”

“Wow, okay. So just to clarify, since we were about to get serious and all, you can’t get serious with anyone or just me?”

His eyes grew big like a deer in headlights. “Anyone of course. I can’t let anything distract me from college, you know. And sports. I have to do good in sports. A girlfriend would really complicate that.” He continued to rattle on for several minutes, one excuse after another. Half of them didn’t even make sense. I finally stopped him.

“Look, I get it. You don’t want a girlfriend. Fine. No big deal.”

“Really?”

I shrugged. “We can continue to be friends, but only on one condition.”

“Name it.”

“No more of this.” I waved my arms around. “No more holding my hand, hugging me, or even touching me. You’re sending all the wrong signals for someone who doesn’t want a girlfriend.”

He hesitated and then glanced around as if seeing it for the first time. “You’re right. I never realized what I was doing. It just felt right.”

If it feels right then why do you want to stop? I said to myself.

“Will you forgive me?” he asked.

I sighed and forced a smile. “What are friends for?”

“You are such an amazing girl.”

Hooray for me. Bloody fantastic. Let’s hear it for the girl. This sucks. “I know the movie’s not over yet, but do you mind taking me home? I’m kind of tired.”

His eyes grew big again. His stupid, perfect blue eyes. I couldn’t stand to look at them any longer.

“I made you mad, didn’t I?”

“No, I really am tired, and it just feels weird being out here so secluded.”

He smiled.

“What?”

“We’re not that secluded. Look.” He unzipped the tent and helped me out. Not more than fifty feet away was a huge cabin. And not far from it were several other cabins, most of which had lights on.

I turned to him. “You mean we’ve been this close to civilization the whole time?”

He nodded.

“And here I thought you were a magician.”

“I’m really disappointing you tonight, aren’t I?” His smile disappeared.

“No big deal. I’m used to it.” I forced a smile so he’d think I was kidding, but as soon as I turned around, my smile was replaced by utter disappointment, masked by the cover of darkness. At least Christian had achieved his goal. He’d said he wanted to give me something else to think about.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Yup.”

I didn’t cry that night even though I wanted to. So he had rejected me as a girlfriend, whoopty-stinkin’-doo. I still had him as a friend and that should be enough. Then why did I feel so crappy? I flopped into bed, clothes and all.

When morning came, I felt better—invigorated actually. And not because the moon was stronger, but because I knew exactly what I was going to do.

I quickly showered and dressed in one of my new outfits; one that was much brighter and tighter than the clothes I normally wore. I left my hair down and styled it. No hat today. I even upped the makeup. When I looked in the mirror, I almost jumped at the girl before me. I looked… dare I say it? Normal.

I couldn’t wait to get to school and show Christian my new look. Oh, I know what I was doing was so 90210, but I wanted Christian to realize what he was missing.

I waited until I heard Jake leave for work before I left my room. Gratefully, Heidi had picked him up for work so I could borrow his car. I grabbed a granola bar in the kitchen and then headed to the garage for Jake’s Toyota.

I arrived at school several minutes early and parked in the back next to a storage shed. I hid in my car until I saw Christian’s SUV. When he got out, my heart began to ache. His sandy blond hair looked messy; uneven bangs flopped to the side of his face. He was dressed nicer than usual in tan slacks and a black shirt. Must be a game tonight. He walked toward the school with a confidence I rarely saw in other boys.

I sighed and leaned my forehead against the cool glass. Why couldn’t he like me? I let my pity party last only a minute before I straightened up, inhaled deeply, and glanced in the mirror one more time. The mini-me devil appeared on my shoulder. “You are smoking hot,” it said, and blew me a kiss. The tag-along angel appeared on the opposite shoulder, frowning. “I don’t even know who you are.”

“Are you blind?” the devil sneered. “This is what she was meant to look like.”

The angel shook its head. “No, it’s too hard. It takes away Light’s innocence.”

“Who cares about Light? Isn’t she allowed any ‘me’ time?”

“Be careful with your definition of ‘me’ time. This isn’t me time; this is her trying to get even.”

“You’re so lame,” the devil said.

“That’s enough,” I finally cried. “I’m going in.”

I quickly opened the car door and jumped out. Who invented a conscience anyway?

When I walked into the school, I kept my eyes forward and moved straight toward Christian’s locker. I was vaguely aware of people staring and whispering in my direction. I even managed an occasional whistle, but I blocked it all, afraid any disruption in my concentration would cause me to chicken out.

I turned the corner, my strides long and confident. In the back of my mind the
Rocky III
theme began to play: “Rising up, back on the street, Did my time, took my chances…” I felt like I was on my way to save the world. This was for all the girls who’d been rejected. Vengeance was mine!

“Llona?”

I came to a screeching halt at the sound of Christian’s voice. I took a deep breath and turned to face Christian who had somehow managed to get behind me.

“Hello, Christian,” I said and flashed the most brilliant smile I could come up with.

He stared at me with a strange expression—not the expression I’d been expecting. It was several seconds before he said, “You look incredible.”

I tried not to grin. “Thanks.”

“But why the sudden change?” He tilted his head and looked at me as if a scientist studying a bug.

“I just felt like shedding my cocoon.”

He shook his head. “Not buying it, not you.” Then his eyebrows raised, and I wouldn’t have been surprised to hear him say “Eureka!”, but instead, he said, “You’re getting back at me, aren’t you?”

I heard the countdown of a bomb in my head. “What? No way.”

Three.