Fractured Memory (4 page)

Russell’s head loomed into her field of vision. “Julia, I think it’s best if you rest. Your confusion is normal. Once we get the poison out of your system, you’ll start to feel a lot better.” He patted her shoulder and sat back down.

“Kill me?”

Eli gripped her hand in both of his and bent his head, resting his forehead against her fingers. Her heart sank as tears fell down her face, collecting in her ear wells.

He didn’t know. He couldn’t answer her. But his posture spoke of defeat. Eli was strong. Smart. Maybe even the kind of man she dreamed might someday take an interest in her. He was trained to prevent crime—to pick up on circumstances that were suspicious. She could tell he felt responsible for what had happened.

When he looked up, his blue eyes held hers. Fierce. Determined. “I don’t know if this was deliberate yet, but I’m going to find out.”

If Eli Cayne couldn’t keep her safe...could anyone?

FOUR

E
li was relieved that after six hours of hyperbaric oxygen therapy, Ben and Julia were fully awake and seemed back to themselves, though bored at being cooped up. Ben was medically cleared and officially discharged from the emergency department. Eli ordered him to go home and rest for the remainder of the day. He found Julia in the next room flipping channels on the small screen mounted in the corner of her room. She had dodged a bullet again. At least figuratively this time. Eli had made a quick trip back to the town house to get her a change of clothes and her Bible. Anything he could do to provide her comfort he was willing to do. In the short twenty-four hours since they had been reconnected, there was one attempt on her life...now two?

He and Will stood in the hall outside Julia’s room. Will looked better than Eli felt after Eli insisted he head home and grab a few hours’ sleep. Since they were a man down on Julia’s detail, Eli needed him back sooner than later. Will sidled up next to him and looked in through the window. “She looks good. Are you going in or just hovering?”

“I haven’t decided yet.”

“Do you want the good news or the bad news first?” Will asked.

Eli adjusted the grocery sack in his hand that contained the items he’d collected for Julia. That was always a loaded question as far as Eli was concerned. “Good news first.”

“There was a crack in the furnace. That town house was built in the eighties. Who knows if the furnace was ever replaced? According to Quentin, that safe house hasn’t been used in years.”

“That’s the good news?” Eli adjusted the bag in his hands. “I can’t wait to hear the bad news.”

“FBI Forensics thinks it may have been tampered with. They’re not hanging their hats on it yet, but they are dusting for prints and having some other analysis done to see if they can prove it out.”

Eli turned to Will. “How are we supposed to get Julia to trust us? The first night she’s in our care she nearly dies.”

Will smirked. “Come on, Eli. That might be a little bit of an overstatement. Look at her now—she’s perfectly fine. I overhead one of the nurses say she could be discharged home today like Ben.”

Eli shook his head. “No, not today. I want her here until we can thoroughly check out the next safe house. Two agents—one inside her hospital room and one outside.”

“If you insist.”

“I do. I’ll be having a discussion with Quentin. It’s his responsibility to ensure that these locations are thoroughly vetted before the witness arrives. Having a witness die while under the protection of the U.S. Marshals would bring horrific embarrassment to the agency.”

Will held a hand up. “Eli, I get it. I know this is bad. But are you sure there’s nothing more? Even though it’s not the FBI’s main focus, witness protection is not a walk in the park. The very nature of protecting people is rife with problems.”

“Your point?” Eli asked.

Will stuffed his hands into his pockets. “You don’t seem to be handling this well. I’ll admit—it doesn’t help her trust us. It makes us look bad, but she’s okay and we’ll do better next time. In reality, I’m not sure how we could have prevented the furnace issue.” He paused and rocked back onto his heels.

Or how could we have kept someone from tampering with it? Isn’t that the more appropriate question?

Eli felt it in himself—the tight tension he didn’t know how to dispel without lashing out. What was really going on? On the surface, Will was partially right. Protecting a witness was a mine field and he should manage these issues with a calmer head, and he usually was very levelheaded. With Julia, his protective instincts were in overdrive. Was it more than preventing her death? Was it that he had this strong emotional attachment that tethered his mood to her level of safety? The more her life was at risk, the more unsettled and angry he became? That wasn’t the most rational response for someone just doing his job. If the FBI proved tampering, that would mean her killer had discovered the location of the safe house and accessed it before their arrival.

That changed everything.

It would indicate someone paid a lot of money to track Julia down even in protective custody. Or someone involved with inside knowledge leaked where she was going to be.

Simply pulling Julia from her normal routine might not be enough. A mole put her life significantly more at risk. Was it even possible?

The truth was, seeing Julia limp and lifeless this morning had been too close for him. Too close to the moment when he’d held her the last time and she barely clung to life. If he didn’t get these feelings that had simmered for over a year stuffed back into containment, he wouldn’t be able to do his job.

Eli shook his head to dispel these thoughts.

Eli—pull yourself together. Don’t let your feelings for her put her at risk.

He cleared his throat. “I owe you an apology.”

“It’s all right.”

Eli squared his body to face Will’s. “No, it’s not. You’re right. I haven’t acted in a professional manner.”

“I’ve talked to Quentin myself on this matter and he gave me the location of the next safe house. I agree with you she’s safer in the hospital overnight. They’re getting ready to release Ben as we speak. I’ll go to the next location with a maintenance man and make sure all utilities are working properly as well as the security systems. Furnace check. Fire alarms. Carbon monoxide detectors in place.”

“Thanks, Will. I appreciate your work on this. Let’s be thorough. There are worse things than keeping her tucked here for a few days.”

“Exactly. I’ll head out and work on those details. And you?”

Eli shrugged and held the grocery bag up. “I guess I need to work on building her trust in us again.”

* * *

Julia couldn’t find anything to watch on TV. The headache and chest pain were gone, and the latest blood result showed the carbon monoxide was cleared from her system. She was free from the confining hyperbaric oxygen chamber. Why hadn’t she been released as the doctor said she would be?

What disturbed her were the visions...or hallucinations...or could they be actual, real memories?

In some ways, her amnesia was a blessing. There wasn’t the terror of knowing exactly what happened to her on a daily basis. The subconscious remnants were what plagued her and likely were the cause of her anxiety. Would working to recapture those memories heal her from the anxiety? Was she brave enough to try and do it?

Today, she remembered more than she ever had before about the attack.

At least, she was fairly certain that what she remembered was true.

On that fateful day, Julia had just come downstairs after getting ready for work. She was about to put on her brightly colored paisley clogs that were tucked under the table in her foyer but decided it might be best to get her lunch ready instead. There had been the softest click and a cool breeze that swept through her kitchen. She’d crossed over to her sliding glass door to see if she’d left it cracked open from the previous evening. Peeling aside the curtain, she could see it was latched. Even the security bar was down.

When she turned around, a man stood just feet away from her. Even recalling this much caused her heart to fire indiscriminately, and she checked her pulse to see if the rhythm was regular. Resting her head against the pillow, she closed her eyes.

Why can’t I see you? Why are you just a fuzzed-out figure? I locked the front door. How did you get in? Has my mind made this whole thing up?

What was new was seeing a figure at all. Was it something to be celebrated? Julia wasn’t convinced. After all, if it really couldn’t offer any new information, what good did it do her except cause her more anxiety?

Then what replaced it was the sweet singsong of a male voice that whispered to her.
Those are the brown eyes I’ve been waiting to see.

The faint knock at the door caused the memory to vanish. Eli poked his head into her room, and she motioned him forward.

The second thing that caused her anxiety? The gap in her memory claimed every moment she’d interacted with Eli. Considering the things he knew about her, it reasoned they’d spent a lot of time together.

“You look a lot better,” he offered, pulling a chair closer to the bed. He set a thin plastic grocery bag at her side. “I brought you these. A change of clothes and your Bible.”

She grasped the bag with the tip of her fingers and pulled it closer. “Thank you. I can’t wait to get out of here.”

His eyes darted to the side. “That’s what we need to talk about.”

“I don’t want to stay here.”

“You’re safe here. I think it’s—”

“No! Eli, please...” She pressed her thumb and forefinger at the corners of her eyes to stem the flow of threatening tears.

He rested his hand over hers. “Julia, it’s okay. You’re a nurse. You practically live in a hospital.”

How could she explain it to him? Was it the environment that was culling these memories? Was it being in the same position, forced to stay in a hospital bed that was connecting her brain cells again? Or was it Eli’s presence?

She fisted her hand and rested it at her side. The truth of the matter was her psyche was unprepared to remember the attack.

“Julia, I can only help if you tell me what’s going on. Like all men, I’m a really horrible mind reader.” He took her hand and gently uncurled her fingers, smoothing his palm against hers. “One night is all I’m asking. We want to be sure the next safe house doesn’t have any maintenance issues.” He gently squeezed her hand to add strength to his request.

“You don’t think the elevated carbon monoxide levels were an attempt on my life?” Julia asked.

A brisk knock at the door, and Dr. James Solan entered. His hazel eyes glimmered under the light nearly as much as his bald head. “I thought you said to me once you’d never step foot into an adult ER again.”

Eli stood from his chair. “You two know each other?”

“I worked here for about two years after I graduated from nursing school until I figured out adults were too crazy for me.”

Solan stroked his white beard. “It was obvious she didn’t like to care for anyone twenty-one and over. She’d bargain with the other nurses to take care of their pediatric patients.” Looking at Julia, he stated, “You don’t know how much they miss that.”

Julia laughed. “Sadly, it took me a couple of years to figure out there are hospitals that exist where adult patients aren’t allowed. Don’t know how smart that makes me in the long run.”

Dr. Solan turned to Eli. “Don’t let her fool you. She was one of the best nurses we ever had. As much as she’d hate to admit it, her adult nursing skills were above par.” He turned back to Julia. “As I’m sure they still are if you’d ever like to come back.”

“Not unless I can’t find any other job.”

“I’ll never give up trying to win you back. Julia, is it okay if I discuss your medical information in front of this young man?”

Eli held a hand up. “It’s okay, I’ll step—”

“It’s fine, Eli. Stay.”

“Very well, then. I know the nurse relayed to you that your last carbon monoxide level was negligible. The good news about CO poisoning is that if it’s caught early enough, patients turn around very quickly and don’t suffer any long-term effects.” He motioned to Eli. “I understand from the EMS team that this gentleman here found you. His quick action likely saved you from having a serious medical fiasco.”

Did she just see Eli blush?

“You’re medically clear to go home when you’re ready.”

“Thanks, James,” Julia said as he backed out of the room. “It was good seeing you again.”

Eli returned to the seat next to her and shook his head. Was it relief at the doctor’s words? The closer she examined Eli, the more she noticed his state of distress. His hair was disheveled. The blue irises tinged red. Had Eli not slept well? His face was one of worry.

“I want to go back to the question you were asking me before the doctor came in. They found a crack in the furnace at the safe house and the FBI is looking into the possibility that someone may have tampered with it.”

Blood roared in her ears. Could this assassin have found her that quickly?

“Julia...” His voice trailed, and he looked away. There was something he wanted to tell her but he seemed to question if whatever truth he held could be too much for her to take. Eli lifted his eyes. “Do you trust me?”

Unexpectedly, his question felt like a punch in her gut. In every relationship, there was an inherent amount of trust. Just based on her position as a nurse, she expected her patients and their families to trust her on some level in order for her to do her job. If a family didn’t have that basis of understanding, it made her care more difficult because the doubt they possessed clouded every action she took at the bedside. Did that nurse clean my child’s skin enough before she put the IV in? Is that why my child now has a blood infection three days later?

Eli locked her eyes with his. “I can’t do my job unless you trust me on some level.”

“Why do you think that I don’t?”

“I’m just putting myself in your shoes. I uprooted you from your life, and the first thing that happens is you almost—”

“Eli, I don’t blame you for the furnace. How could I?”

His body relaxed. “I’m relieved, but I also would understand if you’d want another agent to take my place.”

Julia found herself shaking her head before her mind registered a thought. If she was truthful, she would have to confess that she wondered if Eli could keep her safe, but there was also a feeling that she didn’t want to be separated from him. “I don’t want that. I don’t want to have to get to know another team. I want to stick with you and Ben.”

For now.