Fragments (The Broken Series Book 2) (10 page)

“I wasn’t going to say that,” I said.

“No?”

“No!” I put my hands on my hips. He wasn’t being fair.

“Well, that’s what my brother thinks.”

“It’s not like that,” I said. “Alexander thought that…” My unsaid words hung heavily between us until I turned away and bit my lip.

I was so mad at him, but this situation was ridiculous. This was such a huge thing. I couldn’t just ignore it and brush it under the carpet as if nothing had ever happened. Although, that was what everyone else around here seemed to do. It was as if they believed that if they didn’t talk about it, then the problem would just go away.

I could feel the anger bubbling up inside me, and I turned back around to face him.

“He thought you were going to jump, Jack,” I said. I spoke the words clearly and slowly in a low voice, staring into his beautiful, dark eyes, fighting my desire to scream at him hysterically.

He was breathing heavily, and his jaw was clenched.
 

“You don’t understand. I wasn’t going to jump, but you can’t know what it’s like to go from the man I used to be before,” he said. “I travelled the world. I went where I wanted. I slept with who I liked, and I drove around a race track at breakneck speed. I was good at it, Kristina. It made me feel alive. I was a success. Now what am I? Look at me.”

I saw the pain in his dark eyes and wanted to cry.

He got to his feet and walked towards me, stopping by the small kitchen area and leaning on the counter.

I looked up at his perfect face. “You’re still the same, Jack,” I said. “It’s just…”
 

He slammed his fist onto the counter, making me jump again.

“No, Kristina. Don’t give me that bull.” He stroked my cheek, and then he added with a whisper, “Please, I can’t hear that from you.”
 

After a moment, he broke eye contact and stared down at his clenched fist.

“I thought you would understand,” he said quietly, and then he looked at me. His expression was so full of hurt that I just wanted to kiss him and wrap my arms around him. I wanted to do anything I could just to make him feel better.

I got it. I understood why he was so upset. I wanted to make it better for him, but I couldn’t. I just didn’t know how.

“I do understand,” I said, and my voice shook as I spoke. “But this isn’t how it’s going to be forever. You have to remember how far you’ve come.”

He turned away from me and made a scoffing sound.
 

I took two steps to close the distance between us and took his jaw between both of my hands, turning his face to make him look at me.

I was momentarily distracted by the roughness of the stubble lining his jaw. I wanted to press my lips to his and kiss him hard. I wanted to feel the rough scratch of his stubble as his mouth claimed mine. That would be easier than talking this through, but I swallowed and carried on.

“When I got here, Jack, you were in a wheelchair. Now you’re getting around on your own and you hardly ever need your crutches. It’s amazing progress.”

“It’s not fast enough,” he snapped, and despite the seriousness of the situation, I had to hide my smile. Underneath it all, he was like an impatient little boy.

“It’s freaking amazing, Jack, and you will get there. You will be back to normal. I know it.”

His shoulders slumped, and he sighed.
 

“I miss it,” he said in a quiet voice. “The racing, I mean. I don’t think I can live without it.”

“Maybe you won’t have to,” I said in a whisper.

“Really? You think I might be able to race again?”

That made me worry I’d given him false hope. What did I know about racing? It hadn’t worked out so well in the simulator. And he was right about one thing. I could never really understand what it was like to have something like that ripped away from me.

What could I tell him to make him feel better? I’d say anything and that was the problem. If I encouraged him in his dream to return to racing and it didn’t work out, it could destroy him.

I’d run out of words. I didn’t know how else to make him feel better, so I leaned forward and put my cheek against the warm cotton of his t-shirt, listening to the steady beat of his heart.
 

“If anyone can do it, you can,” I said.

Jack

I pulled Kristina close to me and lowered my head to nuzzle into her hair. She smelled so good. It felt just right to have her in my arms.

I closed my eyes, trying to block out any other thoughts. I didn’t want to think about anything else. I just wanted to concentrate on how good Kristina felt in my arms.
 

But I couldn’t block out the other thoughts crowding my head.

The guilt was overwhelming.
 

I hated myself for putting her and Alexander through this. I should have known they’d worry. But sometimes the need for danger overtook me, and I was reckless. I didn’t want to be wrapped in cotton wool for the rest of my life, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t consider how my actions hurt other people.
 

I took in another calming deep breath, inhaling in the faint citrus scent of her perfume. I loved the way her soft hair tickled my face. I leaned down until my lips pressed against her forehead, then I moved my mouth to kiss her cheek, then the soft spot on her neck just under her ear.
 

As I covered her face with soft kisses, I felt her hesitant fingers moving up under my t-shirt, tracing my muscles and running over my back.

It felt so good.
 

I took her by the hand and led her over to the couch, pulling her down onto my lap.
 

I wanted to forget everything apart from this moment. I just wanted to focus on how she made me feel.

Kristina stared down at me, confusion and hurt still lingering in her eyes. I wanted her to be able to trust me. I didn’t want to put her through this. It wasn’t fair.

She leaned forward, and I could feel her warm breath against my cheek as she hesitated just millimeters from my mouth.

I waited, not wanting to rush things. I needed this to be all about what she wanted.

The alcohol had dulled the pain for a while, but the numbness was now receding and my head was starting to ache.

But all that was forgotten when she pressed her sweet, soft lips to mine. As soon as her tongue flickered out, delving into my mouth, I felt desire and need race through me.

I relaxed back against the cushions as her hands found their way to the button of my jeans.

My own hands slipped under her shirt. I cupped her gorgeous breasts, loving the soft curve of them in my hands.

I groaned as her small hand pushed inside my jeans, and my cock jerked as she gripped the hard length of me.

I ran the pad of my thumb over her erect nipple. The feel of her pushing her sweet curves against me was driving me crazy. Her hand slid up and then down my shaft, and I couldn’t stop my hips moving in time with her hand.

The alcohol should have slowed down my desire. It usually had that effect on me and slowed my time to climax. But her hand on my cock felt so amazing, I was sure I wouldn’t last long at all.

My fingers fumbled at the zipper on her pants, and it wasn’t long before my fingers found their way to the wetness between her legs. My fingers slipped and slid between her legs as she squeezed me tighter.

I was so close already despite the whiskey. How was that possible?
 

Her fist tightened around my thickness, and I groaned. I wouldn’t last long now.

I quickly shifted my position, sliding Kristina’s pants down over her legs and then throwing them on the floor. I clutched her hips with my hands and lifted her on top of me.

I was so desperate for this that in my need, I forgot to be gentle.

I hooked my fingers around the white fabric of her panties, and in one movement, I ripped them out of the way.

Kristina’s eyes opened wide as she stared down at me and then she turned in shock to look at her ripped panties on the floor.

“I’ll get you new ones,” I said, pulling her hot wetness onto me.

She gave a little moan as she lowered herself onto me, inch by inch.
 

It felt so good. So right.

My hands cupped her sweet ass and squeezed the perfect roundness of her curves.

She moved on top of me, up and down, building tempo gradually.

I stared up at her, transfixed. I couldn’t keep my eyes off her tight, pink nipples and her amazing breasts. They jiggled with every movement she made.

I was so close now. I’d been trying to hold back, but it was no use. I used my fingers to rub circles around the small, hard nub of her clit and I was gratified to hear her moan in response.
 

She moved faster and faster until finally I felt her inner walls pulse around me, and I couldn’t hold back any longer. I groaned and felt the rush of pleasure as I released deep inside her.

Kristina

I’d left Jack sleeping off the effects of the whiskey in his bedroom and slipped out to sit in the sitting room, gazing out of the French windows.

I wasn’t sure how long I’d been sitting there. I had completely lost track of time. I was just brooding over the conversation I’d had with Jack earlier and wondering just how badly I’d screwed things up this time.

I only wanted to make him happy, so why did it feel like I was making things a million times worse?

I should never have let him use the simulator. I should have realized he wasn’t ready. To top it off, I then came home and told him that he is probably going to be able to race again.

I told him what he wanted to hear, what he wanted to believe in more than anything else in the world, because I was too scared of how he would react if I told him that he may never race again.
 

A few drops of rain had begun to fall on the window pane when the shrill sound of the telephone snapped me from my brooding. I jumped up and ran over to snatch up the phone before it could wake Jack.

“Hello?”

“Hi, this is Rita, Rita Volder. I’m calling to speak to Jack, please.”

“It’s not a good time,” I said, and I couldn’t help the coldness creeping into my voice. “He’s sleeping.”

But just as I spoke those words, Jack appeared in the bedroom doorway.

His hair was ruffled and his eyes look bleary from lack of sleep and too much alcohol.

“Who is it?”

“Rita.”
 

“I’ll take it.” Jack walked forward with his hand outstretched for the phone, and for some weird reason, I felt very reluctant to hand it over.

I’m pretty sure it wasn’t just because I was annoyed Rita had woken him from sleep. Reluctantly, I gave him the phone.

His whole demeanor seemed to change as he spoke to Rita. He was actually smiling. Why couldn’t I make him that happy?
 

Irritated, I stalked into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, although I thought it was going to take more than tea to calm me down this time.

Obviously, I could only hear one side of the conversation, but they were clearly talking about cars and the Grand Prix. The things that interested Jack most.

A horrible thought occurred to me. Even if Jack could never race again, if he was with Rita, he’d still be part of that life. He’d still be around the cars and the racing teams, and he would still get caught up in the excitement.

I turned away and filled the kettle. I knew I shouldn’t eavesdrop on their conversation, but I could hear Jack laughing behind me. She did make him happy, and every time I tried to, I managed to screw things up.

I knew I was feeling jealous. I’d never felt jealous of anyone before, perhaps because I’d never had anyone to be jealous over. It was a horrible, crawling sensation.

But despite my jealousy, I really wanted to do what was best for Jack. Loving him made me want to be a better person.

I guessed I’d always known that this thing between us couldn’t last, and I never wanted to stand in the way of a life that could make Jack genuinely happy. Perhaps Rita was the key to that life.

I could hear Jack talking about Volder racing. I finished making my tea and waved to Jack, motioning to him that I was going to take it into the other room. I wanted him to be able to talk to Rita freely. He looked up, and the way he smiled at me made me hold my breath. Even now, after spending months with him, he still took my breath away.

I slipped out of the room, cradling my tea, and walked along the corridor thinking that I would go to the kitchen and find Maria. I just wanted to be around someone normal for a while. I needed some normality, something routine to do to keep me busy and stop these thoughts racing around my head.

I often went to find Maria when Jack was busy. Sometimes I’d help her peel and chop vegetables, or knead the dough for her home-made bread. It was relaxing. And that was exactly what I needed to take my mind off the fact that Jack was talking to Rita and not me.

But before I reached the kitchen, I passed the main doors where Lauren was just emerging from the garden. Her hair was wet and water trickled down her face.

“You look like a drowned rat,” I said.

“Thank you very much.” Lauren gave me a sarcastic smirk. “It’s absolutely pouring down outside. I’ve just put the tools away. This is the kind of weather that makes me start to regret having an outdoor job.”