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“Hey sis,” I said, “Are you almost ready?”
“You want to leave? Already?” The disappointed look on her face made me feel guilty, and made me realize how much she liked Dan. Still, I pressed her.
“Yeah, is that okay?”
“Sure,” she said sadly. Then, switching gears and with all smiles, she declared, “Emma, this is Dan. Dan, this is my sister.”
I shook Dan’s hand. He was very handsome. I wondered what might be lurking behind his good looks and charm that made his ex-wife despise him so much that she had to leave the party. For now, though, I didn’t care. He was cute and he was making my sister happy. That’s all that mattered to me. How bad could the guy be? I was smart enough to realize there were two sides to every story, and Dan seemed okay to me. For the moment, he had my blessing.
We chit-chatted for a couple minutes and then I turned to my sister and said, “Ready?”
She gave Dan a fake pout and said, “Got to go.”
“Can I call you?” he asked.
“Sure,” said Laura in an enthusiastic voice I’d never heard before. Was this my serious, doesn’t know how to have fun, Orthopedic surgeon sister? She was like an alien to me at this moment.
I watched Dan program Laura’s cell number in his phone, and I almost made a crack about her ring tone, but decided to keep my mouth shut.
We said good-bye and Dan actually kissed Laura on the lips. As we exited the party, I took one last glance at Luke and Patty. They were both smiling and in a conversation with another couple, so neither one of them noticed Laura and I breeze past them and out the door. Patty, the shrimp, had her arm around her date’s waist. No touching on Luke’s part, though. That spoke volumes.
I wondered how they got together. Luke had made it very clear that he wasn’t dating. What changed his mind? Could he not resist her? Who pursued who? How long had they known each other? Had they kissed?
Once outside, I turned to my sister. “I’m so sorry. I know you liked that guy and that you wanted to stay. I just couldn’t.”
“Are you okay?” Laura asked me.
“Luke was in there.”
She gasped. “Why didn’t you point him out?”
“I just had to get out of there. He was on a date.”
“Oh. I’m sorry,” she said sadly.
“I’m so bothered by it.”
“Was the girl cute?”
“She was okay. It’s not Patty who bothers me. It’s the thought of Luke dating. I mean, what if it’s serious?”
“Aren’t
you
in a relationship?” she asked.
“Laura, I have to talk to you about something. Can we go to
Starbucks?
”
.
“A
re you crazy?!” This was my sister’s reaction to finding out she was going to be an aunt again.
“Please calm down and let me explain,” I pleaded, taking a sip of my grande skim decaf misto.
“There’s nothing on earth you could tell me that would make having a baby seem like a good idea at this juncture in your life. It’s bad for you, bad for your boy toy, and very very bad for your child!”
“There’s the judgmental sister I know and love so well,” I replied.
“Please, you know I’m right.”
“Laura, Preston cried!”
“How touching.”
“You’re awful.”
“And you’re being really stupid.”
At this point, I chose to grit my teeth and try to tolerate Laura’s abhorrent behavior. “Please try to see this as a blessing. This is a gift, a miracle.”
“And what about supporting the miracle?” she asked, “Did you guys talk about that?”
“Yes, of course. Preston said that he would be more than willing to take care of his baby financially. He makes a lot of money. But you’re missing the most important point. He wants to raise our child too. He said that. I promise.”
“Em, what about Izzie? Hasn’t she been through enough already without adding a sibling into her life, whose father is an eternal playboy?”
“I’ve thought about Izzie, and I think she would learn to see this as I do, as a wonderful addition to our lives. This baby is part of our family, and although our family dynamic is a little different than the norm, we’re still a family and that means something. And we will continue to be the same family, plus one.” I hesitated and then finished, “Or maybe two, if Preston decides to become a part of it in any significant way.”
“What do you see happening with him? I mean, are you two going to get married?”
“Any way you could tone down the sarcasm just a touch?”
“Answer the question.”
“Neither one of us has the slightest clue. I think it’s best to let things progress naturally and see where the future takes the two of us. Who knows? We may end up living happily ever after.”
“Oh my God,” Laura exclaimed.
“What?”
“I understand now,” she said with a smirk.
“What?”
“You think that Mr. Single hottie player boy is going to marry you when you have his baby.”
“No, I don’t,” I defended.
“Yes, you do. You think that Preston is going to take one look at his new baby, and then all of a sudden want monogamy, a family, and dinner with the kids every night at six.”
Furious at this point, I stood up, “So you have it all figured out, I guess.”
Now Laura stood up too, and was almost shouting. “Mr. City loving boy, who loves clubbing and Cubs games and boating on Lake Michigan with his buddies, is going to move out to the suburbs and live with you and Isabelle and your baby, and make all your problems go away!”
“Shut up, Laura!” I shouted, knowing full well that I sounded just like I did in seventh grade. I could feel the stares from all the coffee drinkers at neighboring tables, but I didn’t care. “I can’t believe how judgmental you’re being!” I finished.
“You’re confusing being judgmental with being honest,” she shouted back.
I felt my eyes brim with tears. “Thanks for being so supportive,” I said softly. Then, I turned and walked out.
“Emma!” my sister called out, but I didn’t turn around. In fact, I started running, and I ran all the way home, which was okay, because it wasn’t more than a quarter of a mile.
When I got to my house, my mother, the babysitter, was all over me. “What happened? Why are you out of breath? Where’s Laura?”
“We…had a fight.”
“Are you crying?” she asked, trying to get a closer look at me.
I put my head down and tried to hide the tears and smeared mascara that was running down my cheeks.
“I’m fine, mom. Everything will be okay.” I kissed her cheek. “Thanks for watching Izzie. Was she okay?”
“She was great,” she said, “I’m worried about you guys.”
“I just need to go to bed,” I said, “We’ll talk tomorrow. Are you okay? Are you staying over I hope?”
Apparently, my parents were still in negotiations, discussing the fallout of my dad’s affair with Mrs. Feldman, the slutty seamstress. The only info my mother had offered earlier was that they were trying to work things out.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Laura had asked angrily.
“Well, I’m not sure I want to,” my mom had said.
“Of course you want to!” Laura snapped.
“Why?” I’d responded, “Her husband’s the cheater, not her.” Those words had left my sister speechless.
“Yes,” said my mother, “I’m sleeping here.” She seemed very sad about that. I hugged her tightly, and although I couldn’t see her face, I knew she was crying. I was too afraid to turn and confirm her tears, though, because the thought of my mother this upset was overwhelmingly devastating, and for tonight, I couldn’t take anything else.
“Good night, Mom,” I said, “I love you. It will be okay. I promise.”
I headed upstairs and that’s when I heard the front door open. “Is Emma here?” I heard my sister ask my mom.
“Yes.”
I heard them talking, but couldn’t really hear what they were saying, and didn’t care. I just wanted to go to bed. After checking on Izzie, I got into my PJ’s and then went into the bathroom to wash off my makeup and brush my teeth.
I was standing at my bathroom sink, drying off my face when Laura appeared in the doorway.
“Hi,” she said.
I didn’t answer her. Instead, I grabbed a tiny bottle of Lancome overnight eye cream and began putting it around my eyes.
“Another free gift with purchase?” she asked with a smile, obviously hoping to lighten things up.
I turned to her. “You know, Laura, you held my hand while I buried my husband, and I can’t even count the number of times I cried in your arms over the past year. And now, after knowing all you know about me and what I’ve been through, you can’t even find it in your heart to support something I want so badly.”
“I don’t want to fight with you,” she said, “But I can’t support you on this.”
“Why?” I urged, “I’ve always supported you. I never told you this, but when you were getting married at 23, I thought you were crazy. But I never said anything because it was
your
life, not mine. So, I kept it to myself and stood by you. You’re a workaholic. You’ve never had any fun in your life. And that bothers me. But, I never said anything because it’s not my place. And tonight, I wanted you to act the same for me. I wanted you to say, ‘I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I will stand behind you.’ And you didn’t. I can’t believe it. You’re my sister!”
“That’s right. I’m your sister. That’s why I won’t stand here and watch you screw up your life!”
Now I was ready to explode. “Did you even hear one word I just said?!”
“Look, I’m tired. I’m going to bed,” she responded, turning to leave.
“Why am I not surprised?” I answered bitterly as she walked out.
.
I
couldn’t deny that Laura might be right. I mean, what was I thinking? Just because Preston told me to have the baby, that made it okay? Was I going to have a threesome for him too? What kind of power did this man have over my judgment? Life all of a sudden began to feel like it was spinning out of control. I was the driver, and I was traveling on dangerous roads, with a dangerous person, doing dangerous things.
I thought about the divorce party. I’d met all kinds of interesting people. There was Tony, the guy whose wife died, who was offering me his friendship. Then there was Georgia, the woman with the perfect body, whose husband felt the need to be a swinger. Where was the justice in the world for HER?
And Luke. On a date with Patty! Why did I care so much? Luke and I weren’t together. We’d never even been on a date. Just like me, he had the right to go out with whomever he wanted. So why was I having such a hard time with it? Because at this moment, I decided to finally admit something to myself. I barely knew Luke Sullivan, but I had this weird feeling gnawing at my gut, telling me there was something special happening between us. And the way Luke had winked at me tonight, I knew he felt it, too.
I had this vision of Luke in my future in some significant way. Not necessarily marriage. I wasn’t ready to think about walking down the aisle with anyone. But there was a connection, and a feeling of familiarity about Luke that was lodged in my core. So there it was. The guy who was a noteworthy part of my future was on a date, and I was pregnant with someone else’s baby. Not good. Very unsettling.
I looked closely at my face in the mirror. Did I even recognize myself? I, Emma Bloom was having some random guy’s baby. It was nuts. Had I lost my mind? I pulled up my shirt and looked down at my stomach for a long time. Inside of it was a very teeny tiny person, actually just a bunch of cells at this point, multiplying together as the seconds ticked by. Still, a growing human being was inside of me, its father a non-committal party boy who loved crazy sex with me (and probably a lot of other women).
I touched my tummy and whispered, “Hi, Baby,” and as the words came out of my mouth the weirdest thing happened. I heard a text come through. I went over to the night stand where my Blackberry was and read it.
“How is my baby, Baby?” it read, “Say good-night to him or her for me. Can I see you tomorrow night?”
My heart suddenly soared. This was the first glimpse I had that Preston might actually step up to the plate and come through on this whole thing. Maybe he was capable of being a good father. Maybe things would work out. Maybe my old school, judgmental sister was wrong.