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“I just overheard that fight you had with your boyfriend,” she said with her big, beautiful, very red lips.

Why I was focused on a woman’s lips, I couldn’t say. But I was. I was mesmerized by all of her, in fact. I was strangely attracted. Did I have a girl crush?

Her body was fit, but curvy and feminine too. And her long, black, wavy hair complimented her light skin and big blue eyes. She took her tiny, sparkling headband off and slowly shook her head, her hair swaying back and forth.

“That guy isn’t my boyfriend,” I answered, “trust me.”

She gave me a sympathy smile and said softly, “Well whoever he is, he upset you. And I was wondering if you wanted to go across the street and have a drink.” She motioned to
Stella’s,
a tiny wine bar that stood a few feet away.

I was completely confused, wondering why a woman was asking me out for a drink. The look on my face must have been obvious because she added, “It’s just a drink. Come. It’ll be fun.”

What was happening was almost surreal. It was as if this woman had just appeared here to help me. I didn’t understand it, but for some odd reason, it didn’t matter. Accepting her invitation seemed natural, like it was what I was supposed to do. “Okay, sure,” I said.

She extended her hand and smiled, “I’m Alice.” Her light blue eyes smiled too, and I found them so pretty, I was embarrassed and had to look away.

“I’m Emma,” I managed, shaking her hand.

No more than five minutes later, Alice and I were sitting at
Stella’s
sipping Pinot Noir out of big, wide wine glasses. “So tell me,” said Alice, “What did that guy do to you?”

“He didn’t do anything,” I answered, “that’s the problem.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Well, my life basically stinks.”

Alice didn’t pity me, nor did she judge me. She just asked matter-of-factly, “Why?”

“I just had a miscarriage, and the father has basically forgotten my number, my sister’s going through a divorce and just got screwed by one of those assholes in
Casa de Michael,
my parents just split up, my mother is living with me, and I’m not really speaking to my dad.”

“That’s a lot,” replied Alice.

“One more thing. I can’t figure out how to become Bradley Cooper’s girlfriend.”

“That actually sounds like the biggest problem of all of them,” she joked.

I smiled sadly. “Told you my life stinks.”

“Look, I don’t know you at all, so please take this for what it’s worth, an outsider’s perspective, completely unbiased.”

“Sure.”

“First of all, I’m so sorry about your baby. I know what that feels like. I had a miscarriage also.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you,” she said with a sad smile, “It was a long time ago.” Then she continued, “Here’s what I think. There are a lot of things that are out of your control—your parents, your sister, your baby… But do you realize how much you can fix?”

I was listening so intently that nothing in the world, including a fire, earthquake or major tornado could have taken my attention away from beautiful Alice.

“Do you?” she asked.

“How?” I asked, “How do I fix it?”

“With a new perspective, a new attitude about things,” she began. And as I sat there listening, I was also gazing at her. She truly was a lovely person. I could never in my life remember being infatuated with a female like I was with Alice. She had a way of explaining things without being judgmental. Her message was harsh, but the delivery gentle. She was smart, but not a know-it-all. And she was empathetic, but not pitying.

“May I ask you a question?” she said.

“Sure.”

“What do you do professionally?”

“Well, I have a daughter. She’s six. I stay at home with her. Alice, I’m a widow. My husband had a pretty good insurance policy.” I put my head down.

“You seem ashamed of that,” said Alice, “Don’t be. Being a mother is very important.”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

Alice was smiling at me, and so were her pretty blue eyes. “Emma, when you’re not with your daughter, what do you like to do? I mean, for yourself? What are your interests?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on,” she urged, “There’s got to be something. What did you do before you got married?”

“I was a pharmaceutical rep, but I never really loved that job.”

“What
do
you like to do?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s silly.”

“Just say it.”

“Salsa,” I said, “I like making salsa.
Lots
of salsa. I can’t stop.” I explained to Alice how I had at least twenty-five salsa recipes, and that I made so much of it so often, that I had now begun putting it in large jars and giving them to my neighbors.

“That’s so cool,” she exclaimed, “Have you ever thought about going into business?”

“Actually, my sister tells me I should all the time.”

“Well, it sounds like you have the time, and you don’t need money right now. Plus, there’s not much upfront money involved. You really should think about it.”

“What do
you
do, Alice?” I asked.

She explained that she worked for a huge publishing company and was an advertising sales executive for three of their largest magazines. I wasn’t surprised that she was in such a lucrative career and in a prestigious position. Alice seemed like she made a good living, and it was so obvious she was a hard worker, determined and driven. She was everything I wanted to be in this regard.

“Think about the salsa business,” she said to me, “I have a good feeling about it.”

“Okay, thanks,” I smiled, so appreciative of the free professional advice and motivational speech.

“So, tell me about the baby. Was that guy in the bar the father?”

I let out a laugh. “No!” Then I proceeded to tell Alice all about Preston, and I mean
all
about Preston. For some reason, it was easy to spill out the stories I’d kept to myself for so long. There was only so much I could share with Laura, only so far I could go, given my sister’s conservative personality. But with Alice, I felt safe telling her in much more detail, the things that went on between Preston and me.

Interestingly enough, I found that as I poured out the steamy details of our relationship, I was gleaming, almost as if I was reliving it.

“Listen to the way you talk about this man,” said Alice, “It sounds as if he was wonderful for you.”

“Yeah, but it’s over.”

“So what? At least you had it. Most women can only dream of experiencing the kind of passion you’ve experienced. You had sex that took your breath away, a connection that found its way into your core. What a wonderful gift!”

This was the moment everything changed. “Oh my God!” I exclaimed, “You’re right!”

Alice smiled, “Just enjoy the past and enjoy now. Don’t worry so much about the future.”

Alice was right. Even though my relationship with Preston ended the way it did, the relationship itself was special and important and lovely. How could I be angry at him when he gave me such wonderful memories?

“As I’ve gotten older,” she said, “I’ve come to appreciate relationships and people for what they are. I don’t see things in black and white anymore. It’s not all or nothing for me now. It’s okay if people turn out to be something in between. And I’ve been lucky enough to have been involved with some truly delightful people.”

I started laughing a little bit. “It’s so weird. I’m not angry with Preston anymore. He helped me through a very difficult period in my life.”

“See?” she replied.

“Same thing with Luke!”

“Who’s Luke?”

“Never mind!” I said with a laugh. Alice was amazing. So smart. Everything she said made sense. I thought about Luke. Why was I mad at him? He hadn’t done anything wrong. Luke was there for me that day I needed him. He was a friend, maybe more, but for whatever reason, he was choosing to keep things with us platonic. And I could either be angry about it, or accept him for who he was, and take what he could give.

Even Dan. Why be upset with him? Laura would get over him quickly. That I knew for sure. And yes, maybe he handled things poorly. But Dan helped Laura too. Why not look at Dan as Laura’s rebound guy, the guy who made her feel sexy and young and beautiful, perhaps for the first time in her life?

“Alice, I do have one question. How do you forgive your own father for cheating on your mother?”

“Hmm…that’s a tough one.”

“Well, I do owe it to him to hear his side. Do you know I haven’t even seen him since my mother moved in with me? I’m talking weeks ago.”

“Wow, that’s hard.”

“What a horrible person I am. I mean, he’s my dad, no matter what he did.”

“Text him,” said Alice.

“What, like right now?”

“Sure.”

“Good idea!” I got out my phone and texted my dad. “Would love to get together and talk. How about tomorrow?”

“Wow! I feel better already!” I exclaimed.

Alice just sat there smiling. “I’m glad.”

“So, what’s
your
story?” I asked her, “Any guys you want to tell
me
about?”

“No. No guys,” she said with a giggle.

“Okay, that’s cool.”

Now there was a moment of really awkward silence and I couldn’t figure out why.

“No guys,” Alice said again, this time with a slightly devious smile.

“I don’t understand.”

“There are no guys I really want to talk about, know what I mean?”

“I’m confused.”

“Maybe I could talk about some girls, get it?”

I just sat there, still confused, Alice still smiling. Then, it hit me.

“Alice, are you gay?”

She let out a little laugh and nodded. Out of nervousness, I responded with a giggle. Then she began to laugh again, and before I knew it we were both laughing heartily. I became borderline hysterical at one point, partly because of the wine, but mostly because all of a sudden I began to wonder if this woman I was absolutely smitten with was trying to get me into bed.

“I’m not hitting on you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” she said, “I think you’re beautiful and I’d say if you
were
gay, maybe I’d be interested. I know you’re not, though, so please don’t be uncomfortable. I’m having fun. That’s all.”

I looked into Alice’s blue eyes and didn’t know exactly what was going on, but one thing was for sure. I felt like I was someone else for the night. Here was me, Emma Bloom, having a drink with a beautiful woman who liked girls, and I was fascinated by the whole experience. I looked at Alice’s full red lips and wondered if I could ever see myself kissing them. Surprisingly, the thought didn’t disgust me. In fact, it was semi-appealing.

“I’m having fun too,” I said.

At this moment, I got a text back from my dad. “I’d love to have coffee with you tomorrow. Thank you Em.”

“I love you Stan,” I texted back.

“Love you too,” he texted.

“Thank you, Alice. I mean it. I’m having coffee with my dad tomorrow.”

“That’s great, Emma,” she smiled with those big, beautiful red lips.

I asked Alice a million questions about when, how and why she changed her sexual status. I assumed since she’d had a miscarriage that she had once been a fan of males.

Alice explained that she in fact had been with men all her life until recently. She was married very young and had a child by the time she was twenty-three. Her husband was a much older man who liked younger women. He eventually left Alice and moved on to an even younger woman. She chuckled when she told me her ex-husband was presently engaged to his fourth wife, age twenty-five.

“How old is he now?” I asked.

“Sixty three I think,” she grinned, “He’s still cute, and he’s a good father to our daughter. Charlie isn’t a bad person. He’s just trying to live forever.”

“I love talking to you,” I told her, “You see the good in everything and everyone.”

“The thing is, I was really angry that Charlie dumped me. I was upset about it for a long time. And I really think that’s normal and should be expected.”

“Right…”

Alice then told me something that would perhaps change the way I looked at things forever. “The thing is,” she said, “Some people, like me, get over it eventually, and some people never do. Some people learn to accept things that happen to them and move on. Others decide to stay bitter and never let it go. In my eyes, it’s the most important choice a person can make. But there are those who never see it that way.”

She went on, “I think that the people who cling to the resentment and try to place blame on other people end up being unhappy for the rest of their lives. And the smart ones, the ones who focus on themselves and how to make their lives better and richer, and learn to forgive and forget things they had no control over, are the people who end up living happy, productive lives. They are fulfilled.” She added with a smile, “As I am today.”

I was now officially in love with Alice, last name unknown. Her words were amazing! I felt like she should be a life coach. It was at this moment I realized how much I needed to fix my life. Yes, I was a good mother, and yes, I was starting to come to terms with Sam’s death and forgive myself, but now it was time to concentrate on the future, or more specifically, the professional aspect of my future. I decided right then, I was going to look into the salsa business.

I stood up, leaned over Alice’s stool and gave her a huge hug. “Thank you.”

She simply smiled and said, “No problem.” Then she added, “My advice to you is, stop thinking and start
doing.
Do things that make you happy. Work out, make salsa, do fun things with your daughter, date whomever you want. And if you just live your life and be happy, something amazing will happen.”

“What?” I asked.

“Look at this,” Alice said, dropping her head slightly down and gently closing her eyes, revealing her eye lids. They were covered with gold sparkling eye shadow.

“What am I looking at?” I asked, “Your eye shadow?” I wasn’t getting the connection.

She lifted her head. “It was a free gift with purchase from
Estee Lauder
.”

I giggled, “It’s nice.”

“My point is, if you buy into what I’m saying, about letting go of the past and just living for today and being happy, and doing good things for yourself and for others, you get a free gift with purchase. The gift isn’t eye shadow, though. The gift is much better. What you get is a vibe, a really good vibe.”