Freefall (Santa Cruz Skydivers Book 1) (24 page)

Chapter Thirty

Levi

“Yo, Phil, dude, it’s LJ. You got anyone to stay at yours while you’re at your mom’s?” I threw my belongings into my suitcase while talking on my cell. Good thing I had only been here a week, so I didn’t have a chance to accumulate too much crap.

“Hey, LJ. Not yet, bro. Why? You got someone in mind?”

“Yeah, me.” I picked up a pair of crusty boxers from my dirty clothes.

Phil laughed. “You gunna give up that sweet set-up of yours to come slum it in my one-bedroom shit hole?”

“Yeah, dude. Why wouldn’t I? You’re like a hundred yards from the beach and have decent water views.” I threw the crusty boxers into a suitcase. “Hope you’ve got a board I can borrow. I’ve been hanging to catch a few waves since I got here.”

“What’s going on, bro?” He dropped the lighthearted tone. “No one in their right mind would move out of your condo and into my shit hole, regardless of it being near the beach.”

I paused. “Let’s just say my circumstances have changed and leave it at that.” I continued to throw more of my dirty laundry in the bag.

“Sure thing, LJ, I understand. Come over anytime. I’ve got the midnight flight and won’t be leaving for the airport until late. Rent has been paid up for the next six months. You’ll just need to sort out the utilities.”

I knew he wouldn’t hassle me for details. He had enough crap going on in his life at the moment. He didn’t need mine as well.

“I’ll throw you some coin for the rent, too.” I wasn’t about to freeload off him.

“Bro, that’s not necessary. It’s my crap. I’m just thankful someone is able to stay here. Besides, I don’t know long I’ll be gone. According to the doctors, Mom hasn’t got much longer. Doctors think it might be sooner than later.”

“Dude, I’m so sorry. I know how it feels.” I couldn’t lie and bring myself to tell him it got easier with time. Because it didn’t.

“Thanks, bro. It helps to have someone who understands. Listen, I’ve gotta go. I’ve still got a few things to organize before I fly out.”

“Sure thing. I’ll see you in a couple of hours.” I farewelled him and disconnected the call.

My two suitcases, lying open on the bed, were almost packed, my measly belongings haphazardly thrown in. Walking around the condo, I knew I wouldn’t miss this place one iota. Sure, it was five-star with awesome views of the boardwalk and the ocean, but it had never felt like me. Like a place I could plant down roots and build a future. Like a home. Now that the ties with my past were firmly severed, I could look to the future. One that involved Andi.

There had been no response to my text message I sent earlier. No news was good news, right? I’d wait here until she finished work like we planned, and then we would go together to Phil’s. First thing—I had some explaining to do to her. It was time I came clean with my full background story, starting at the beginning in Sydney after Mom died, then LA. I was hoping that she would understand why I sold my soul to the devil called Derek, and forgive me for not telling her sooner.

****

Andi was late. I had given her the benefit of the doubt two hours ago and allowed for traffic, or maybe she had to work late. But now, I’d run out of excuses. Other than she had read the article and believed every lie.

My hand shook as I pulled out my cell phone and pressed her number. She answered on the third ring. There were no hellos. She didn’t give me a chance.

“You cheating, lying asshole,” she slurred down the phone line me. “I hate you so much right now. So much that if you were burning, I wouldn’t even piss on you to put the fire out.”

“Andi.” I tried to interrupt her vitriolic word spew.

“
Shut up!
” she yelled, then she sobbed, sounding defeated, almost whispering. “Shut up... I loved you, and you lied to me. You lied to me about her, and you gave me her jacket. You have no idea how I feel right now. Just leave me alone.”

More sobbing as she disconnected the line.

Chapter Thirty-One

Andi

I lift the cup of scalding hot coffee to my mouth and took a sip. The skin on the roof of my mouth immediately peeled away and my esophagus burned as the liquid lava continued to my stomach.

“Isn’t that hot?” Char asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

She eyeballed me. “So are you self-harming now?”

I held my arm out to her. “I fail to see any cuts on my body.”

“There are other ways, like drinking hot coffee just poured from the pot.”

“It wasn’t that hot.”

“Liar. I poured myself one before you came and I had to let it sit for ten minutes before it was drinkable.”

My lifeless eyes met hers. “I must have a high threshold for pain then, because it didn’t hurt.”

She lifted an eyebrow. “Have you spoken to him yet?”

“No.” I looked away, putting the cup back on the table.

“Is he still texting?”

I met her eyes again. “Every day without fail.”

Her eyes narrowed. “And you haven’t texted back? It’s Friday already. I don’t believe you haven’t spoken to him or texted him back.”

“Well, I haven’t.” Pushing my chair back, I stood, took my coffee cup to the sink, and poured the contents down the drain. Tasted like shit anyway. “I haven’t texted him or spoken to him since Monday night after he called...and that didn’t end so well.”

Char waited until I was done and rinsed her cup. “What did he say? You still haven’t told me.”

“I didn’t give him a chance to say anything. I was pretty well drunk by that stage, and let him have it. There was a lot of yelling and crying from me, and then basically, I hung up on him.”

“Are you even tempted to text him back? Like maybe just a teensy weensy bit?” She held her finger and thumb up and moved them together until they were only just separated.

I sighed and leaned up against the sink in the Costco staff lunchroom, folding my arms across my chest. “Truthfully? Yes, I am. He keeps telling me in his text messages he was set up.”

Char mirrored my body position. “Do you believe him?”

Widening my eyes, I looked skyward, my eyes burning as tears formed. I refused to blink. I wasn’t about to let myself cry at work. “I don’t know. It doesn’t add up, why he would still want to be with me when he has her? But that photo...and then there was the fact he lent me her jacket. He had it at his place! I’m so confused.”

She nodded. “It does sound very complicated. Change of topic. Have you seen Ben today? He was looking for you earlier.”

I shook my head. “I didn’t know he was working.”

“Did I just hear my name?” Ben asked as he walked into the room.

This time last week, if Ben had of walked into this room, my heart would have fluttered and I would have jumped at the chance to talk to him. Today, there was just the usual empty space in my chest that had been left there since Monday.

Ben looked at me, his eyes reflecting the pain I felt. “Charlize, do you mind if Andi and I have moment alone?”

She looked at me then Ben. “Sure, no problem. My break is over anyway. See you back in the office, Andi.”

She left the room, leaving Ben and I alone. I looked everywhere but at his dark brown eyes. “You know Taylor dumped me for him, don’t you?”

I nodded my head, not trusting my voice. He leaned next to me on the spot vacated by Char.

“I’ve been thinking. You and I should go on a date.”

I laughed, a tad manically. “I’m not dating. Now or anytime soon.”

He plastered on a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just as friends.”

“Ben, we’re not even friends. You wouldn’t have looked twice at me before this whole fucked up situation.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “How do you know that? I’ve always found you attractive. It’s just before, I had a girlfriend...and now I don’t.”

“You think I’m attractive?” My eyebrows disappeared into my hairline.

“I’ve always thought you were pretty.”

Pretty. Blech! I hated that word. “Is this a revenge thing? Eye for an eye? Because I don’t play games, Ben.” My break was over, and so was this conversation.

“Andi, let’s just hang out, okay? I’m not looking for revenge, or to replace anyone.” He cast his eyes downward. “I’m hurting, you’re hurting...we can console each other.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry, Ben, but I don’t want any company. Trust me, you don’t want to be around me.”

I didn’t give him another chance to try to convince me to see him outside of work. I only had one companion in mind this weekend. And his name was Grey Goose.

****

As soon as I arrived home, I cracked my freshly purchased bottle of vodka and swigged straight from the bottle. The clear liquid hit my empty stomach, instantly warming me. I was on the path to self-destruction, but I didn’t care. Anything to numb my body and brain, and erase all memories of Levi. I grabbed an orange canister from my bedside table drawer, shook a couple of Valium in my hand, and self-medicated. Since the whole Levi and Taylor debacle, my anxiety and depression levels had spiked through the roof. I had upped my dosage, even swiping a bottle of sleeping tablets from my mother’s drawer. It and the vodka were the only things helping me sleep. For the most part, though, I had safely hidden my deep depression from my family. My brothers, especially Tony, were happy my affair was over, and while my parents were sad to see me upset, I secretly suspected they were happy to have things back the way they should be.

Only Lili and Char knew I was depressed, and even then I didn’t think they knew how much I wish I could throw it all in. To be honest, the only things getting me through my days were the text messages that Levi sent me. Telling me he missed me, and how Taylor had set him up. I still didn’t know whether I should believe him.

Every time his message came through, my thumb would hover to reply, but I would shut it down before I could act on my impulses. I was at a turning point, a crossroads, and if I didn’t make a decision soon, I knew I would lose him forever. One way or another, I couldn’t continue on this path.

Chapter Thirty-Two

Andi

Persistent, extremely loud banging
at my bedroom door roused me from my drunken slumber.

“Whosit?” I yelled.

Damn it. I wasn’t drunk enough. I could still think, and my waking thoughts were always the same. Him doing things to her that I wanted him to do to me. God I hoped her fake boobs exploded and leeched poison into her system.

“Andi, unlock the door in or I’ll kick it in,” a familiar male voice bellowed from the other side of my locked door.

Fuck. Tony. What the hell was he doing here? I rolled out of bed a little too fast and ended up on the floor on my ass. I spied and hid a half empty bottle of vodka under my bed with the other empties that had piled up during the week. The dark room was swimming around me as I stood and stumbled my way to the door to unlock it. I barely had time to take a step back before Tony shoved the door open, almost knocking me flying.

“God damn it, Tony.” Glaring angrily at him, I saw the rest of my brothers standing behind him, and Lili and Scotty behind them. “What the fuck is this? An intervention?”

“That is exactly what it is,” Tony said, who was dressed in his full police uniform, either on his way to work or on his way home. I didn’t care enough to ask for clarification.

He forcefully grabbed me by the arm and dragged me out into the sitting room.

“Ow, you’re hurting me,” I complained, even though he wasn’t.

He didn’t respond verbally to my protests, but loosened his grip slightly. He waited until we were near the single sofa seat then let go of my arm and pointed at the chair behind me.

“Sit,” he barked at me like he was a dog trainer and I was a disobedient puppy.

I considered not cooperating, but the look on his face told me it would be a bad idea. I sat down like a good little lap dog, even batting my eyelids, crossing my ankles and folding my hands in my lap. He completely ignored my effort. Either the sarcastic gesture was lost on him, or he was too pissed off at me to register it. Most likely the latter.

“Lili called us. She told us, other than going to work, you’ve holed yourself up in your room for the past week. You haven’t answered any of our calls...” He leaned over and sniffed me. “And you’re intoxicated.”

I glared at my so-called best friend for throwing me under the bus. I’d deal with her later.

I dropped the little miss innocent routine. “It’s Saturday night, of course I’m
intoxicated
. What do you expect? I do know one thing, though. I clearly haven’t had enough to drink, because I’m not drunk enough to take this shit.”

“I’m not letting this happen.” He glared at me. “If I have to move in here, I will. You need someone watching over you to make sure you don’t kill yourself.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. Now I was really pissed off. If he thought he was going to babysit me around the clock and tell me what to do, he had a rude shock coming. “I didn’t ask for your help. Just leave me alone.”

Tony opened his mouth to let blast again, but Bobby stepped in, putting his hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Tony, you’re not helping matters.”

The boys looked at each other for a second before Tony’s face softened and he nodded at Bobby, silently communicating for him to take over the interrogation. Bobby nodded in reply and knelt down beside me. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised expectantly. Nothing he could say would make this situation any better.

“We are all just really worried about you.”

“I’m fine, Bobby.” I tried a new angle. “I don’t know why you all think I need an intervention. Despite what Tony thinks, I’m not about to kill myself.”

“Bella, we don’t think you’re going to do that,” Bobby said. “This behavior of yours is out of character. Mom and Papa are worried sick...”

“Bella
,
Papa isn’t well. It’s his heart,” Mike said, stepping into the room.

I gasped and slapped my hand over my mouth. “He hasn’t had another heart attack, has he?” I would never forgive myself if he had.

Mike shook his head. “No, but since Sunday, he’s had a few scares. The doctors are concerned if his stress levels don’t drop, his heart might not cope.”

“And I’m the cause of it. Okay, I get it now. You’re all here because of Papa.”

“You’re misunderstanding the situation,” Bobby said. “Of course we are here for Papa...but for you too. You need to get over this guy. He’s bad news. You don’t know anything about him. You think you do, but you don’t. Tony has dug up some dirt on him...”

Bobby trailed off and looked at Tony to continue.

“He’s got a few serious priors to his name,” Tony said, tag-teaming with Bobby. “Here and in Australia, but because he was a minor in Australia, the charges were sealed.”

“What? Are you talking like murder or something?” I asked with a touch of sarcasm.

Tony shook his head. “Not murder, no. He is currently on a suspended sentence for aggravated assault causing serious bodily injury. It appears your highflying Aussie boyfriend used to take part in highly illegal LA underground street fights for money. According to sealed documents, things got out of hand one night and he nearly killed a guy. If it weren’t for the fact he had a very good lawyer, he would still be in jail. I’ve been around his type for years. He’s a rich ‘wanna be’ playboy with friends in high places and a wealthy daddy that can bail him out of the shit. One day, it’s some douchebag in a street fight he’s beating up for a paycheck, the next day it’ll be you he’s treating as a punching bag.”

“Bullshit. So you’re saying he was involved in some Brad Pitt
Fight Club
crap? I don’t believe you.” I narrowed my eyes at Tony. “That’s pure fiction.”

“Believe it, Andi. It’s all true. Beginner fighters earn around two hundred bucks a fight, and your boy was one of the best, getting up to a thousand a win.”

That wasn’t the Levi I knew. He wouldn’t even hit back to defend himself.

“Look, I get it okay? None of this really matters anyway. Are you all forgetting he dumped me for his ex-girlfriend? He doesn’t want me!”

“So you say. But we’ve heard that you are still in contact with him,” Tony quipped.

I glared at Lili, who gave me innocent eyes.

“I don’t know where you would have heard that.” I paused, thinking of how to get rid of them. “It’s untrue anyway. I haven’t spoken to him since Monday night. If I say I’m over him, will you all leave?”

“As long as you promise to come to family dinner tomorrow night,” Bobby said with a smile, attempting to diffuse the tense situation between Tony and me.

“Fine, I’m over him,” I said to Bobby, forcing out a smile. “See, I’m happy, and of course I’ll be there tomorrow night. I’ve never missed a Sunday night.”

My brothers all looked at each other, silently communicating with some freakish male brotherly blood bond.

“I can see you don’t believe us about him, Andi, but we’ll go anyway,” said Tony. “On one condition. Tomorrow afternoon, I’ll come and pick you up and drop you home.”

“Deal,” I replied, holding out my hand for Tony. “Thanks for stopping by, see you tomorrow.”

“I’ve got to get to work anyway,” Tony mumbled, his eyes quickly flicking over at Lili and Scotty, then shook my hand, sealing the deal.

Bobby gave me a hug. “See you tomorrow, squirt,” he said with a cheeky, dimpled grin. He ruffled my hair then disappeared with Tony out the door.

Mike waited until they left and knelt on the floor next to me. Out of all my brothers, he was the one that looked and behaved like me the most. Same blue eyes, same hair color, and same sense of humor. In a way, I should have been expecting him to have the final say.

“Bella, please stay away from him. I need you to promise me that you won’t contact him or take his calls. We love you, little sis, and we don’t know what we would do if anything happened to you.”

My eyes started watering. Damn it. Mike really knew how to hit home. I wondered if this had all been choreographed. Good cop-bad cop.

“Mike, please, I can’t promise that. You don’t understand, none of you do.” He didn’t know what he was making me promise. He didn’t know that, even though I was the one that broke it off with Levi, I was only living for those moments when Levi would reach out to me. It was all I had.

“Just twenty-four hours. That’s all I ask,” he said.

“Okay, one day,” I agreed, holding up one finger so we were both clear on the deal. I was only just barely managing to hold my shit together.

“One day,” he agreed, nodding and smiling at me. I couldn’t smile, so I frowned.

“Fine. But as of...” I looked at the wall clock. “Eight o’clock tomorrow night, my freewill
will
be reinstated and I will do whatever I want.”

He ruffled the top of my head like I was ten. “You probably will before then anyway. But it makes me feel better.”

“Glad I can help ease your conscience.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Bella
.
Stella can’t wait to see you.” He hugged me farewell and left me alone with Lili and Scotty.

“Thanks for throwing me under the bus, Lili.” My fingers twitched as I took a step toward her and Scotty.

“Calm down, Andi. She was just looking out for your well-being,” Scotty said as he stepped between us and placed his hands on top of my shoulders.

I shrugged his hands away. “How many times do I have to say it? I don’t want anyone’s help.”

Lili wrapped her arm around his waist and stared me down. “Well that’s too bad then, isn’t it? Because whether you like it or not, we’re all looking out for you. So you better get used to it.”

Crossing my arms defensively over my chest, I let her think she had the last say on that matter. “So what do you both think about these allegations of Tony’s?” I asked, changing topic. “No way Levi could have been involved in underground street fighting. He doesn’t have that inside of him. It’s total bullshit.”

“I don’t think your brothers would make up a story like that just to keep you away from some guy.”

“Lili, you don’t know half of what Tony is capable of. He’s hated Levi from the word go. He knows I have no way of checking up on Levi’s details to validate his story. Except for calling Levi, that is.”

“Don’t you dare contact him!” she snapped, and looked at Scotty for help.

“Andi, you might not have the resources, but I do. I’ll check it out tomorrow for you with my press clearance. It’s amazing the things I can get my hands on. We can get access to all types of files. It’s kinda awesome actually.”

“Baby, you are so clever,” Lili purred seductively, and kissed him on the cheek, trying, no doubt, to continue to win him back.

I was pretty sure they hadn’t had sex since they got back together, not that I would know anyway. With the help of my meds, I had drunk myself into a stupor every night this week. Scotty held her in an embrace and looked longingly at her, his hands running up and down her back.

“Let’s go to the room, baby.” He growled in her ear and led her to the bedroom.

Lili turned, smiling, and mouthed “sorry” before closing the door behind her. She let out a loud squeal as Scotty no doubt grabbed her and threw her on the bed.

Well, wasn’t that just dandy. Now I had to endure their make-up sex session when all I wanted was Levi in a way that I was forbidden. Screw them all. I walked back into my room, closed my door, and located my bottle of vodka from under bed. Nothing like necking straight from the bottle while reading text messages from your ex-boyfriend. And if I were lucky, I’d pass out before he texted me again. Because I wasn’t sure I could stop myself from replying tonight, promise or not.

With the bottle of vodka open and in hand, ready to go, I made myself comfortable on my bed and reached for my cell phone beside my bed. Only, it wasn’t there. In its place was a folded note with my name written on the front. I snatched up the note and read it.

Just in case you decide to break our deal. I’ll give it back to you tomorrow. Mike xx. P.S. took your Jeep keys, too.

Fuck. I felt like screaming. Angrily, I balled up the note and hurled it at the wall, watching as the paper rebounded off the wall and bounced across the floor. Mike must have taken my stuff when Tony had dragged me from my room. Not only couldn’t I contact Levi, I was also a prisoner in my own apartment. Plus, to further exacerbate the problem, I couldn’t even borrow Lili's cell phone, as she was currently somewhat otherwise indisposed.

As if on cue, orgasmic male and female grunts and screams started, loud enough to reach me through numerous walls and two closed doors. Without a physical escape from this situation, copious amounts of alcohol was my only option. My new plan was much like my old one, only without a cell phone involved. It was, and still remained, drink until I passed out. However, the rate and volume Lili and Scotty were at it, I knew vodka alone wasn’t going to drown out their sounds and numb my pain. They would be at it for hours.

I needed something stronger, something quicker. Opening my underwear drawer, I took out the prescription only sleep tablets I had swiped from my mother, shook some into my hand, and washed it down with the only fluid I had close by—vodka.