Friend Is a Four Letter Word (24 page)

“We haven’t been introduced,” Carter says, his mouth tight. He extends his hand to Nolan and they shake. “I’m Carter MacPherson.”

Carter pauses, waiting for some sort of name recognition from Nolan, but it doesn’t come.
Because I never told Nolan about Carter at all.
The last time we spoke was the day he took me to lunch, and I steered the conversation mostly around my parents—at the time, Carter wasn’t even speaking to me. I definitely didn’t want to mention that to him.

“And you are?” Carter presses.

“Nolan Bryant,” Nolan says. “I’m a friend of the family.”

“Ah,” Carter says, raising an eyebrow and still seeming unsatisfied. I clutch onto his bicep that is strained under his neatly pressed dress shirt. His face changes a little, like something clicks together for him.

“Nolan’s father is also a minister back home,” I say.

“Small world,” Carter says. He polishes off the rest of his ginger ale, ice and all. He cringes a little and I can’t help but wonder if it has anything to do with all of this alcohol around. That damn waitress that keeps passing by to offer us all drink after drink. I told Carter when he was making plans that we didn’t need to have alcohol here at all, but always the damn martyr, he didn’t want to put anyone else out. It has to be torture on him. And now this weird vibe between him and Nolan? He doesn’t need this. We don’t need this.

“I had a job interview out this way, so David and Trish were kind enough to invite me to the party,” Nolan says.

“You’re moving here?” Quinn asks. I didn’t realize she was even paying attention, but I guess it’d be hard not to in such close proximity.

“No, it’s actually for a job in London, but the interview was here,” Nolan says.

I feel my ears tingle with nervousness. What if he tells them all that I met him for lunch a while back? There’s no harm in it, but damn this is not the place for the big reveal.

“London, wow,” Quinn says. Her mood perks up a little. Quinn dreams big and wants to travel the world, Europe especially. “That sounds amazing! Did the interview go well?”

Nolan pushes his shoulders back and has a little gleam of pride in his eye when he says, “Well, it was actually the second interview. I think it did. I hope so. Though I wouldn’t mind coming back out for a third interview if I got to catch up with you, Shay.”

Oh, fuck me.

“Mom, did you taste the caprese bites Quinn made?” I interrupt. “The produce here is so fresh, right?”

Nolan catches on. He knows he’s pushing too far into territory I’m not comfortable with.

I know because he winks at me.

Winks.

I glance quickly at Carter and hold my breath.

He saw it, too.

“It was good to see everyone, huh?” Carter asks, sitting on the ottoman we picked out together at that funky Scandinavian place a couple of weeks back. It’s the first piece of furniture that is
ours
. There was a jewelry shop next door that I peered in the window of while Carter talked on his cell phone. Someone from work. He’s been putting in a ton of extra hours lately, trying to make up for the time that he slacked. He’s been working hard to rebuild his name at the company. He wants to prove to them that he’s just as good as he was in the early days. I have to admit, it boggles my mind that they liked him better when he was drinking—not that they knew that, of course, but still.

I stared in the window, checking out the diamond encrusted watches, tennis bracelets and engagement rings. I figured he’d be a while, but he surprised me by peering over my shoulder and pointing to the exact ring I’d been admiring.

“That one,” he said.

“What?” I asked, not wanting to appear too eager.

He let his hand slide down arm, all the way to my ring finger and traced a band around it with his own fingertip. “That one would look perfect on you,”

I spun toward him, “Carter? Have you been drinking?”

It slipped out. I didn’t mean it as anything but a stupid joke. But I watched the giddy look on his face fall.

“Not funny. Nevermind, let’s go.”

“Carter, wait!”

But it was too late. I’d killed the moment and we drove home in silence.

I wonder if this moment, this otherwise perfect night will be ruined, too.

Because I have to tell him. I have to tell him that Nolan is a guy from my past. A friend now, yes, but someone I was close to.

“It was,” I nod. I pull my bottom lip in and bite down.

“What’s wrong?” Carter asks. He lines his shoes up neatly. Neat—just like our life together was headed. Until tonight.

“Do you… do you think everyone had a good time?”

“Absolutely.”

“I could never really tell with your mom. She’s got quite the poker face.”

Carter chuckles lightly. “Yeah, Mom is pretty famous for that. I’m actually surprised my parents came, to be honest. No offense to you, but… you know.” He stands and grabs me at the waist, pulling me into him. “I don’t really want to talk about my mom right now.”

“You don’t?” I slide my fingers up the front of his dress shirt and then get started on the buttons. “What would you like to talk about, Mr. MacPherson?”

“This, maybe?” I pull his bottom lip into my mouth and feel the groan leave him and sink into me.

My lips travel down his neck, nip at his Adam’s apple. “This?”

“That’s a damn good start, but—”

“You’ve got a
‘but’
, MacPherson, really?”

He pulls back from me.

“There is something I want to talk to you about.”

“Uh-huh,” I say, reaching for his belt loop to pull him back toward me, but he flinches away.

Instead, he sits back down on the ottoman and stares up at me.

This isn’t right.

“I’ve been going back and forth all night about whether or not to bring it up,” he says. I silently plead with him to choose not to.

It doesn’t work.

“But it’s gnawing at me. That Nolan guy.”

And just like that, the spell is broken.

I flinch before asking, “What about him?”

“What was he doing at the party?”

“You heard him. He’s a family friend. Plus, he had that interview in the area.”

Carter links his fingers through mine and works his neck back and forth, weighing my answer.

“I know what he said. But more than that, I know how Nolan was looking at you.”

“Are you saying I didn’t deserve to be looked at?” I joke. “This dress? Really?”

Carter gives a small chuckle. But I know him too well and know that it isn’t sincere.

“You’re beautiful.”

“Then so what. So what if he was looking at me. The cocktail server—the one that kept coming back to offer you drinks no matter how many times you turned her down? I almost offered to wipe the drool off of her chin.”

“I seem to remember a few late night phone calls from you Shayna. I may be wrong, but I could swear you mentioned the guy you were dating—Nolan.”

I swallow hard, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat that tells me everything is exploding in my face. Again. The one that is a sign that I should grab my shit and run.

“We saw each other for a while. Never anything serious, though.”

Carter chuckles and it’s an infuriating sound. I’m standing here trying to tell the truth. I’m trying to make things okay. “What does it matter? You came to the party with me. You went home with me.”

“It matters because I saw him with you, Shay.”

“What?”

“I saw him with you. On the pier.”

“What are you talking about, Carter?” My mind is working in overdrive. It clicks through memories with Nolan at warp speed before slowing down like the spinner on a game of Life and then settling on that night. It feels like so long ago. Before Carter and I were even an
us.

“What?”

“I saw you. With him.” Carter stands up and loosens the collar of his shirt. He’s close enough that I can smell the musky scent of his cologne, spiked with anger. “And I want to know what the hell he’s doing here now.”

I’m trying not to be angry. If I’m honest, I don’t have a whole hell of a lot of room to be.

I had months to tell her that I saw them together that night. But part of me knew it was better left buried. Plus that, no one knows better than I do how important trust is.

The thing is, trusting someone else is scary as hell, and I think it’s ten times harder when it’s someone you care about so much, the thought of being without them makes your heart stop in your damn chest.

“So, wait. Back up,” Shayna says, her gorgeous lips trembling with fury. “If I’m hearing you right, you’re telling me that the night that I found you on the curb—that night that you almost had a drink—that was because you saw Nolan and I on the pier together?”

I reach for her hand, knowing that if I can just touch her, just explain this carefully, it will all be okay. But she yanks her hand back and starts pacing. Damnit. I realize I’m screwed as she walks back and forth, back and forth, her legs setting a frantic pace.

She’s doing it again.

I try to speak calmly, to offset some of her nervous energy. “I’d already left work upset. I set out to grab a drink. Seeing you making out with him was just an added bonus, I guess.”

Shayna laughs, but it’s accompanied by an icy glare. “We were hardly making out, Carter.”

My memory flips back to that day, the way he had his hands on her, and my vision burns red. The worst part is, I know he’s probably a better guy than I am. I knew he’s the kind of guy she deserves. He’s probably got his shit together, got a sure future. Interviews for jobs in London? For me, every single day is a battle to do the right thing, make the right choice, and that will never change. It might get better, get easier, but the threat will never go away completely.

I can’t keep the bitter edge out of my voice. “That’s not how it looked from my vantage point.”

“We’re just friends,” she snaps as her heels click back and forth across the floor.

“Friends,” I spit the word out. I swear if I have to hear that word again I’m going to get an ulcer.

“Friends,” Shayna repeats coolly. “I haven’t even talked to him in weeks.”

“But he came tonight? Even though you aren’t in touch?”

“Wow, so you seriously don’t trust me?”

“That’s not true.”

Shayna grabs her sweater off of the back of the chair. “I can’t believe you.
You
don’t trust
me
.”

“Where are you going?” I’m suddenly desperate. I’ll do anything to get her to stay—I don’t want her to walk a single step out that door angry with me.

“You kept this a secret for months, Carter. You had every single opportunity to tell me—to let me explain. But you kept it to yourself to what? Use against me someday?”

“I wasn’t using it against you.”

“It sure feels like it. Why wouldn’t you just tell me if it bothered you?”

“Shay, this was such a great night—”