Friend Zoned (Barnett Bulldogs #2) (17 page)

God, how long has it been since I’ve felt this horny?

I can’t remember.

Even though I try fantasizing about someone else,
anyone else
, my mind keeps circling right back to Sam.  And the way he was holding me in his arms this morning.  His big warm hand cupping, then squeezing, my breast.  His heavy erection pressing against my panty covered ass.

With a little more pressure, my fingers begin working the flesh faster now.  Quick circular strokes.  My legs fall completely open as I arch my back off the mattress.  A little moan escapes from between my parted lips as I continue caressing that little bundle of nerves nestled within my silky flesh.

Oh God…

I’m going to-

“Vi?”

A soft knock on the bedroom door has my eyes flying open and my heart nearly seizing in panic.  But still my fingers don’t stop.  Because I’m too damn close.  My body is strung tighter than a bow.

I’m literally
aching
for release.

Gritting my teeth, I bite out a hoarse response. “Yeah?”  The word sounds low and forced.  I really should stop touching myself while he’s standing right outside the door, but I can’t.

It feels much too good.

And, god help me, hearing his voice doesn’t douse the flames either.  I actually have to bite my lip to stifle the little whimpers that are trying rather desperately to escape.

“Open the door so we can talk.”

Oh hell no!

That is
so
not going to happen.

As horrified as I am by the idea of him actually opening the door and seeing me like this, my fingers keep moving.  Circling.  I’m so slippery right now and it feels so freaking good.  Especially when my fingers buzz lightly over my hypersensitive clit.  My teeth sink deep into my lower lip in an effort to keep everything bottled up inside.

“No,” I gasp.  As much as I fight to keep my voice level, I know it’s not when I finally add, “We’ll just talk tomorrow.”

As soon as those low gravelly words roll off my lips, the door handle rattles.  I can just picture Sam wrapping his large hand around it as he tries getting inside.  For some reason, that image morphs into one where’s he’s slowly pumping that hand over his thick erection as I stand there watching.

Thank god I locked the bedroom door.

Thank freaking god.

“
Let me in, Vi.
”

That image is all it takes for me to shatter as I continue stroking myself to completion.  And this time, I can’t choke back the low moan of pleasure that escapes, no matter how hard I try.

Chapter Fifteen

“Well you sure are here bright and early.”

My grandmother immediately pulls me in for a nice warm hug as I step inside the bright and sunny kitchen.

Shrugging my shoulders, I say with an overly cheerful smile, “I was missing you and thought I’d swing by for breakfast.”

Those words have her lips tilting up at the corners.  “Aww, you’re such a sweet girl.”  In the very next breath, she adds, “You should have brought Sam with you.”

Yeah… that wasn’t going to be happening.  Even the thought of it is enough to leave me wincing.  I couldn’t get out of the apartment fast enough this morning.  As soon as I heard Sam and Roan leave for their morning workout, I was throwing things into my bag and flying out the door.

Very much like an escape convict fleeing the scene of a heinous crime.

After last night there was absolutely no way in hell I was sticking around for their return.  As much as I would dearly love to hash all this out with Sam, get our friendship back on track, I just can’t do it right now.  My emotions are all over the place.

I mean, we should be able to sit down and laugh our asses off about this.  It really shouldn’t be a big deal.  But… 
I just can’t
.  Not after last night.  Not after seeing him standing there so gloriously naked.  God… looking so damn big and beautiful.  Those thick slabs of muscle all gleaming wet with droplets of water.  And me.  Immobilized.  Staring at him.  Wanting to lick all the moisture from his body.  Wanting to stroke my hands over all those solid ridges…

And then him knocking on the door while I was touching myself… all the while fantasizing about him.  About that hard body.  His cock standing so thick and erect.  The way he rattled the door handle, trying to get inside.

Did he know what I was doing?

Could he hear me?

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t stop all that pent up pleasure from escaping through my softly parted mouth.  There are bite marks on my lower lip where my teeth sunk into it in an effort to stifle the cries.

It didn’t work.

I really hate to admit this, but I think him standing outside the door, demanding that I let him in, only made the whole thing hotter.  When I finally came, I practically saw stars, it was so damn intense.  And that hasn’t happened in I-don’t-know-how-long.  Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever made myself come that hard.

Unconsciously my hands rise to my cheeks which now feel as if they are on fire.

“Hon, you doing okay?”  A small frown mars my grandmother’s face as she continues glancing over at me. “All of a sudden, you’re looking flushed.”

You’re damn right I look flushed!

I don’t know how I’m ever going to look Sam in the eyes again, let alone be in the same room with him without feeling like I’m going to die of total embarrassment.  Taking a seat at the table, I shake my head.

What I need to do is stop thinking about the cluster fuck I’ve somehow managed to embroil myself in before I simply burst into a big ball of flames.  “I’m fine.”  My voice sounds all high and reedy.  “It’s nothing.”

Her brows draw together in concern.  “Maybe you’re coming down with something.”  Going to the refrigerator, she takes out a half gallon plastic jug of orange juice before pouring a tall glass and placing it in front of me.

Yeah… vitamin C, no matter how much I consume, is not going to fix this.

“Drink up,” she says adamantly, “I don’t want you getting sick.”

Then she’s off to the cabinet, rifling through the contents before finally finding whatever bottle she’s looking for.  Airborne.  She sets the huge container of pills down in front of me. “You better take these back to school with you.  Can’t be too careful about all those germs flying around.”

Instead of arguing, because I’ll only end up losing, I simply agree.  “Sure, okay.”  Better for her to think that than suspect the truth.

Stopping in front of me, she places her hands on her slender hips.  “Now why didn’t Sam come home with you?  I miss seeing his handsome face around here.”

A little sigh of displeasure escapes from my mouth.  I was really hoping she would forget about that line of questioning.  Should have known better.  Gran may be climbing into her seventies, but she has a mind like a steel trap.  Worse, she can ferret out a lie within minutes of it rolling off my tongue.  I’ll have to play this one cool because there is no way in hell I want to discuss the
cock incident
with her
.
Or has it now been more appropriately dubbed-
the cock/rubbing-one-out incident?

God… I just want to lay my head on the table until this nightmare of a situation passes.  Or until it doesn’t seem nearly as bad as it feels.

Before I can actually do that, my grandmother comes over, laying a cool feeling palm across my forehead.  “You’re looking flushed again, sweetie.  Maybe you should go lie down for a while.  I’ll call the school and let them know that you’re not feeling well.  You can just stay here and take it easy for the rest of the day.”

For the first time all morning, my lips twitch upwards.  God, but I love my gran.  She is the absolute best.  “That’s not necessary.”

I’m imagining the secretary of the chancellor getting a phone call from my grandmother letting them know that Violet Winterfield won’t be in class today.  She’s not feeling well and that they should please carry on without her.

Concern flares within her soft hazel eyes.  “You need to take better care of yourself, Violet.  You wear yourself down with all these classes and you’ll end up catching something.”

“I’m fine,” I try reassuring again, “you don’t need to worry about me.”

She makes a noncommittal noise deep in her throat as if she doesn’t quite believe me.  My grandmother has always been a bit overprotective where I’m concerned and who can really blame her?  She lost her only son, daughter-in-law, and granddaughter in a car accident eight years ago.  Besides my grandfather, I’m all she has left in the world.

So, yeah… I totally get it.

Hell, I feel the same way about them.  Without my grandparents, who would I have left?  That thought brings a boulder sized lump to my throat.

Because the answer to that question is
Sam
.

Next to my grandparents, he’s the most important person in my life and right now, we’re having... I really don’t know what’s going on between us.  All I know is that it’s making our entire relationship uncomfortable.

To the point where I’m now avoiding him.

And because I don’t seem able to fix the problem between us or, at the very least, ignore it until it goes away, I’m left wondering how our friendship will possibly survive.  These feelings I’ve developed for Sam just keep steamrolling right over me when I least expect them.

It makes me wonder if we’ll ever be the same again.

Will we ever just be Sam and Violet?  Best friends?  Completely and totally platonic?  Can-talk-about-any-and-everything and nothing affects our relationship?

I don’t have an answer to that.

And that’s scary considering how damn important he is to me.

As all of this continues churning violently within my head, my eyes fall back to my grandmother and the concern written across her face.  Guilt hits me like a swift punch to the gut for not being more straight up with her.  I really shouldn’t worry her like this.  I shouldn’t let her think that something is wrong with me when clearly there’s not. Especially when my grandfather hasn’t been feeling well lately.  She has enough on her plate without me evading the real issue by making up bogus ones.

As she starts scrambling two eggs, I decide to come clean.  I think it might actually feel good to finally tell someone what’s really going on.  I sure as hell can’t talk to Sam about this.  And Mia has been tied up with Carter.

Figuratively, not literally… I hope.

Gran is the only other person who might understand the situation.  She knows just how special my relationship with Sam is.  Certainly she’ll be able to see how foolish it would be to jeopardize that.

That being said, there is no way I’m telling her about cock-gate or me getting off with him standing right outside the door last night.  There are just some things that can’t be discussed with a grandparent.  No matter how close you are.

This is most definitely one of those things.

“Sweetheart, you better take some of that Airborne right now.  You’re looking positively feverish.”

“I’m not sick, gran.”  Inhaling a deep breath of air, I finally push out the rest of the words, “It’s something else.”

Standing over the stove, spatula in hand, her eyes hold mine quizzically as she waits for me to continue.  “Oh?”

Dropping my gaze, I stare down at my half-filled glass of orange juice before deciding to take a huge gulp.  Maybe the vitamin C will help boost my courage.  “It has to do with Sam,” I mumble, barely loud enough for her to catch.  Although my grandmother has excellent hearing, so she picks up on my words without a problem.

Concern etches its way across her face again.  God… I am just killing this poor woman with my ineptness.  “Did something happen with Sam, honey?”

“No…  Yes…”  Oh for the love of all that’s holy, I don’t know… “Maybe…”

A small, humor-filled smile tips the corners of her lips upwards as she listens to me torture myself with angst-filled indecision.  “Well, that certainly clears things right up.  Thank you.”

I can’t help the weak chuckle that escapes.  What a damn mess.  All I want is for everything to go back to the way things were before.  That’s what would be best for everyone…  Then we could just be Violet and Sam.  Like we’ve always been.  There wouldn’t be any of these tangled feelings to muck things up.

“I don’t know, gran.”  Pausing, I inhale a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.  Admitting this shouldn’t feel so scary.  But it does.  “I’m just really confused right now.”

She slides the scrambled eggs onto a plate before setting them down in front of me.  Then she comes around and takes a seat beside me before asking, “I take it this confusion has something to do with Sam?”

Feeling grateful that I didn’t actually have to come out and say the words, I start shoveling eggs into my mouth.  Between bites I add, “I think my feelings for him are changing.”  My belly trembles as I finally admit what’s been going on.

Not only to myself, but to someone else as well.