Friends With More Benefits (2 page)

"It’s okay. They didn't see me," whispered Brian
to himself.

"Police! Step out from behind that tree with
your hands up," A stern female voice called out.

"Fuck!" Brian said aloud.

"Now!"

He sighed, covered his junk with his hands, and
slowly moved away from the tree. Two female police officers were
holding guns pointed at him. "I said hands up!" one of them
shouted.

"Look at me—I don’t have any weapons."

One officer cocked her gun, and Brian’s hands
shot up in the air. Both women glanced down to his nakedness and
widened their eyes.

"Let's see some I.D."

He grinned uncomfortably. "I, uh, left my wallet
in my other pants."

The officers were not amused; they lowered their
weapons, and one officer took out handcuffs and moved behind
Brian.

"Hands behind your back."

He followed the command. "Look, I was locked out
of my house."

"Yeah. Okay, we've had complaints about a
pervert running around naked in this neighborhood before. This
isn’t your first time, is it?"

"Is it, perv boy?" asked the other officer.

"Well, no—but I can explain. It's, uh, really a
funny story."

"Save it. You'll have a lot of friends to tell
it to in the city jail."

The two officers sat in the front of the car
with Brian sitting uncomfortably in the back—still completely nude
and with his hands cuffed behind his back.

One officer turned to him. "They'll like you
down there in lockup because you’re so fresh and young."

"Wait, we really don't need to do this, I—"

Brian watched nervously as one officer leaned
over and whispered something in the other's ear. They turned to
him, shined their flashlights down to his groin, and smiled.

"We might be willing to let you go," said one of
the officers.

"Great! I would really appreciate it," he said
with a big, hopeful smile.

"You have a really nice penis."

"Thank you," he said a little uncomfortably.

"Have you ever been with two women at the same
time?"

He swallowed hard and then stammered, "Well, no.
I mean, I've had offers—well just one actually."

"Officer Johnson's apartment is just a few
blocks from here. What do you say we go there and take the cuffs
off and—"

Johnson interrupted, "Or leave them on…" The
officers both began to chuckle, and Brian returned a nervous smile.
Then Johnson finished her thought, "…and, uh, we have some
fun?"

"I'm flattered—really, I am, but I'm getting
married in a few months. I'm in love—like insane,
head-over-heels-crazy-about-her love. I just can't."

The officers exchanged a look of disappointment,
and then Johnson said, "Let's get back to the station then."
Officer Johnson's cell phone rang, and she answered, listened for a
moment, and hung up without saying a word.

He watched as the officers glanced at each other
and then nodded. He said, "I'm flattered, and you both are
gorgeous. I'd love to take you up on your offer, but I can't. I
live one block from here. I was on my way to our friend Victoria
Tamer's house to get the spare key."

"You know Victoria?"

"Yes."

"Why didn’t you say so?" He shrugged, and the
officer added, "We'll take you there, but if she doesn't know you,
you're going to lockup."

Brian exhaled deeply. "Thank you so much. You
wouldn’t have anything…I could wear in the car would you?"

The officers glanced at one another and both
said, "No."

The two officers stood behind Brian at
Victoria's front door. Johnson said, "Looks like no one's
home."

"Please be there, please be there," whispered
Brian to himself.

Johnson knocked again, and a few seconds later
the door opened. The house was completely dark as Victoria appeared
in the doorway holding a lit candle. She looked at them in shock.
"Brian, what the—"

"Do you know this man?" Johnson asked.

"I do…Brian what happened?"

"I kinda got locked out—again, and these
officers were kind enough to give me a ride."

"The power is out, but please come in."

Victoria led them inside, and they moved to the
center of the living room.

"How long has your power been—"

Before he could finish that thought, the lights
blasted on. As his eyes adjusted to the change, he squinted and
looked around the room in shock at the more than forty people
staring at him while wearing big smiles. He was, of course,
completely naked except for the flip-flops.

As they stared at him, they yelled, in unison
"NICE PENIS, BRIAN!" as Jillian yelled, "SURPRISE!"

Jillian walked over to him and gave him a kiss
on the cheek. "They were supposed to yell surprise."

Victoria said, "The change was my idea."

"Happy birthday," Jillian said, as she waited
anxiously for his reaction.

He bent over, cracking up, and then stood and
gave her a serious look. "I'm going to get you back for this. It
might take years, but I will one day, and it'll be good."

She chucked. "Sorry."

"You sabotaged my clothes stash, didn't you? You
were the animal."

Jillian shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

Victoria announced casually, "Now, most of you
know Brian and quite a few of you have already seen him naked.
Purely out of curiosity could I have a show of hands for those who
have." Victoria raised her hand. Jillian did as well; Brian gave
her a casual nod. Brian's brother Jim raised his hand as did
Jillian's son Rob. Brian glanced at Victoria's parents and said
sarcastically, "Don't be shy. Put them up—come on, loud and proud."
They slowly raised their hands.

Officer Williams had his hand raised; Brian
recognized him and nodded, "Officer."

Brian glanced around the room and noticed six of
the neighbors who also had their hands held high.

He made eye contact with a woman and asked,
"Really?"

"A few months ago I saw you sneaking over here
in the middle of the night."

Brian nodded and his eyes went to each neighbor
with a hand up.

"Me, too."

"We did also."

He glanced at the final couple. The man said
matter-of-factly, "Uh, we live behind you, and there's a gap in the
tree line, and we can see directly into your pool."

Jillian looked away embarrassed as Victoria
said, "Okay then, we should probably take the handcuffs off
now."

"You think?" Brian said sarcastically. Johnson
moved behind him and unlocked the cuffs. He rubbed his wrists a
moment, looked down at his groin then covered it with his hands.
Johnson said to Jillian loud enough for all to hear, "Jillian
you've got a good one here. We offered him a threesome to keep him
out of jail, and he wouldn't take us up on it."

Brian said, "I, uh, I'm just crazy about
her."

Jillian smiled brightly and she moved to him for
a hug. He wrapped his arms around her then when they separated he
looked around the room forgetting to cover up. From the back of the
room a man called out, "Got shrinkage." Everyone in the room burst
into laughter as Brian covered his groin.

When the laughter stopped, he smiled. "I was in
the pool."

"Okay, Costanza, we believe you," someone called
out.

"Jillian, isn’t your pool heated?" another guest
said, and the group groaned.

Brian frowned. "Now that's just mean." He looked
at Jillian. "How the hell did you pull this off? This was some
production. The policewomen were a nice touch."

"Victoria's idea. We needed some way to delay
you so I could get here," Jillian said.

"You
are
going to pay for
this."

"Yeah, right." Jillian grinned. "I have some
clothes in the back room for you."

He shook his head, "Knowing you guys it's
probably a G-string and a tube top."

Jillian said, "It's not."

He gave Jillian a serious look. "I should
probably say hello to everyone first. Can't just run away from my
own party. That would be rude."

Brian put on an insincere smile as he grabbed a
pillow to cover his groin. He walked up to Victoria and said
casually, "There are some people I don't think I know. Would you
mind introducing me?"

Victoria grinned and, playing along, said,
"Sure."

Jillian watched him while holding back a laugh
as Victoria took his arm and walked him to an older couple, "This
is my neighbor Craig and his wife, Emily." They glanced down
uncomfortably at him, and Brain said, "Good to see you."

"Nice to meet you."

Victoria spotted a man across the room. "Uh,
there is someone you must meet." Jillian followed as Victoria
guided Brian to the man wearing an expensive suit. "Brian Nash,
this is Timothy Roberts."

"Hello."

Brian glanced at the man as if he recognized him
but could not place him. Then it popped into his head, and he
whispered to Victoria, "Is that Mayor Roberts?"

She nodded and Brian cleared his throat. "Mr.
Mayor, love the work you're doing." He shook the mayor's hand and
then turned to Jillian. "I think...I think I'll get dressed now.
The clothes are—"

Jillian pointed toward Victoria's bedroom, and
Brian headed toward it. As he passed people, they glanced at his
ass and whistled. The mayor looked down to his hand, grimaced, and
then asked Victoria, "The, uh, restroom?"

Victoria gave him a weak smile and indicated the
way.

A few minutes later Brian emerged fully dressed
and headed to Jillian. She gave him an apologetic look. "Are you
okay?"

"Yeah, but I could use a beer or two."

Victoria yelled out, "Time for the gifts."

"No way—I don’t want any gifts."

Brian reluctantly had a seat on the sofa;
Jillian handed him a beer and then sat next to him. He took a big
swig and then placed the beer on the table. Victoria handed him the
first box. He removed the wrapping paper as he said, "You guys
didn't have to get me anything." He opened the box and smiled as he
pulled out a swimsuit.

A man in front said, "You should try one."
Everyone shared a chuckle.

Brian opened the second gift, and it was also a
swimsuit. He opened six more boxes, and they were all swimsuits.
His last box contained a tiny black Speedo bathing suit, which
elicited a huge laugh from the crowd.

Brian smiled. "Finally, something I can use.
Thank you all, and I promise I will never again skinny dip."

Jillian gave him a disappointed look. They both
stood and moved to the kitchen. Brian took her into his arms. He
kissed her and whispered in her ear, "Were you serious about doing
that thing to me tonight or was that just some ploy to get me over
here?"

"I was serious. Plus, now I think I need to try
extra hard to make this up to you."

"You're right about that."

About an hour later, Victoria heard voices in
the massage room and moved to the door to listen from outside.

Jim was in there with his girlfriend Caroline.
Caroline said, "I can't believe you put this together
yourself."

"It wasn't that difficult."

Caroline moved to Jim and wrapped her arms
around him. "I wish you could give me a massage in here."

Victoria waited a moment and then walked into
the room. She said, "So he's showing you his creation."

Caroline smiled at her. "It's beautiful."

Jim gave Victoria an embarrassed smile. "I must
have been channeling some HGTV creativity when I was down here
because I can't even match my shirt to my pants normally."

Victoria said, "I was talking to Jillian
earlier. If you guys wanted to stay here, you could and let the
birthday boy and his fiancée have some privacy."

"Oh, we couldn't put you out like that," said
Caroline.

Victoria scoffed. "I insist. I just finished
remodeling the guest room, and no one's slept in there yet. Plus
you guys could try out the massage room either tonight or tomorrow.
I have a lot of errands to run in the morning, so you'll have the
whole place to yourselves." When Jim looked at her unsure, Victoria
added, "You do realize Brian and Jillian are both pretty drunk, and
I don't know if you've ever been in the same house with them when
they've been having sex while drunk, but, uh…" She shook her head
with a sour face, "It can be a little frightening."

Jim and Caroline glanced at each other, and Jim
said, "They probably would like their privacy." They looked back to
Victoria, smiling. They were on board.

A few hours later with the party over, and the
cleanup nearly complete, Jim walked to the car to pick up their
luggage. When he returned, he found Victoria in the kitchen loading
the dishwasher. The house was nearly put back together.

Victoria said, "Caroline said she was
tired."

Jim looked at her hesitantly. "Do you need me to
do anything else?"

"No, I only have a few more things to put
away."

Victoria studied his body language. He was dying
to get back to the guest room. She grinned. "I'll bet you'd like to
get to sleep as well."

Jim looked at her busted. "This, uh, isn't too
weird is it? I mean. It's weird, but not so weird that—"

She smiled as she said, "You know me…" He
nodded, and she continued, "You guys go have fun. At least someone
should be having sex in this house, if I'm not, uh going…" she cut
off her thought, and he looked at her concerned. "Oh, I'm just
kidding."

"We'll definitely talk tomorrow."

She nodded, and he headed toward the back of the
house wearing a huge smile.

Victoria finished up in the kitchen, then went
into the bedroom, and closed the door. Once she was in bed, she lay
awake thinking. She felt good about letting Jim and Caroline stay
with her. She thought she'd be able to handle it. She had read that
some women experience a period of incredible increased sexual
desire during pregnancy. The article mentioned that it could last
from a few short weeks to as much as seven months. Being a woman
who was generally extremely horny to begin with, she feared the
worst. She vowed to avoid sex throughout her pregnancy and figured
it would be pretty easy to pull that off since she had no
prospects. She wanted to avoid the complications of starting a new
relationship as her pregnancy started to show. Luckily she was
barely showing at all at this point.