Friggin Zombies (15 page)

Every man enjoys being able to do that. Be useful to the woman he loves. Any man who says he doesn't is either a liar or he's not really in love with the woman in question. I realize that's just my opinion but I'm convinced I'm right.

Anyway.

Finished with that I secured all my tools and locked Baby up to go inside. There was still  the patient records door, but I needed to have a look at that. I didn't have a frame to work with there. I caught Connie coming out of an exam room as I stepped inside the hallway.

“Hey,” she smiled and gave me a brief kiss. “How's it going?”

“Window and door are fixed,” I told her. “How about you?”

“Thanks,” she smiled. “It's crazy. No one but me and Nettie here. No nurse at all so I'm doing everything.”

“You having Nettie call your other patients or are you going to try and see them?” I asked.

“I don't know,” she admitted. “I. . .I want to be here for them,” she said and I could tell it was pulling at her.

“If you want to be here, I'll do my best to get you here,” I promised. “Do whatever you want and I'll be right here beside you.” That statement earned me the lion-killer smile again. You remember the one? I hugged her briefly as she started to go into another room.

“I'll see if I can help Dragon Lady,” I whispered and she giggled softly.

“She's a sweetheart, really,” Connie whispered back, giving me one last peck on the cheek before ducking into the next patient room.

I walked back up to the reception area.

“Any way I can help?” I asked again.

“Can you take vitals?” Nettie asked in a huff. Sweetheart. Right.

“Yes, I can,” I replied and got to see Nettie looked flummoxed. Which in turn made all the time and money spent on classes so worth it.

“What?”

“Yes, I can take vitals,” I repeated, and this time I allowed my inner smirk to be free. Take that!

“Well, you may not be completely useless after all,” she recovered quickly. The bitch. She thrust a stethoscope at me.

“Take this and get started,” she ordered. “If the red tab is out, then there's a patient waiting for you to take vitals. While you're doing that try and get a general sense of what the problem is and write that down for Connie. Once you come out, put the red tab in, pull the green one out, and leave the chart in the receptacle on the door. Got it?”

“I'm sure I can do at least half that,” I nodded and she snorted.

“That's about what I've got figured.”

And so that's how I became a physician's assistant as the zombie apocalypse was breaking out across the world. 

CHAPTER TEN

It was nearly six o'clock by the time we'd seen the last patient. There had been down time between patients at time, but never more than maybe fifteen minutes. During that time I had managed to repair the shattered records room door using the old door and some three-quarters plywood sheeting. It looked like crap but it would at least allow them to close and lock the door. I made a quick run to the nearest store that I could find a hasp and padlock for the door and put it on there to give them some security. It wouldn't do anything but keep honest people honest, but Connie could truthfully say that her records had been secured behind a locked door.

I'd like to tell you that Nettie Halliburton warmed up to me as the day went along but. . .I'd be lying. About the best I managed was the 'you're not useless' tag. I didn't know if it was a problem with me personally, which I saw no way it could be, or if she was just very protective of Connie. I didn't have a problem with protective since I felt the same way, but. . .I have to admit that her attitude was really wearing on me by the end of the day.

I have no idea how many times I checked blood pressure, temperature, weight, all that crap that gets done before you actually get to see the doctor. It's not a challenge, nor is it difficult, but it is boring as hell after you get the rhythm down. Still, Connie was doing everything else alone so whatever I could do to make it easier on her I was going to do it.

I almost washed the skin off my hands in the process. I wore gloves each time but. . .did I mention how I was becoming a  germaphobe? Now I was actually having to
touch
people.
Sick
people. It literally made my skin crawl. I was sneezed on at least three times while taking vitals. Once by a kid that I am certain did it on purpose, the little shit. It's very easy when people start doing that kind of thing, or letting their kids do it, to start hoping someone actually
does
get eaten by zombies. I mean very easy.

In between doing that and fixing the door I also managed to clean up the rest of the mess left behind by the break in and take out the trash. I swept the hallway out and cleaned the exam rooms as they were emptied at the end of the day. It sounds like a lot but really it wasn't. It kept me busy but that was about all.

As the final patient left for the day I noticed a car sitting in the parking lot with three men inside. I pretended to sweep the front walk while I kept an eye on them. I couldn't see out from the office thanks to the board replacing the window. This was trouble. I knew it was and started wondering what to do about it.

I called the police again and got a different dispatcher. This one was a man and wasn't quite as polite as the woman earlier in the day had been. I relayed to him the fact that the office had been burglarized and that there were three men sitting outside the office in a parked car at that very moment, watching the place.

“What do you want me to do about it?” the asshole had demanded.

“Well, I thought you might want to send someone up here to check them out, since this office had already been burglarized and we're getting ready to close up. It's possible they will attack the women who work here in an attempt to get at the drugs stored here.”

“If that happens call back. We'll deal with it then,” the jackass snarled and then hung up. I cursed him and most of three generations of his family as I put my phone up, wishing I could see outside. I found Connie making notes about the last of her patients in her small office.

“We may have a problem,” I told her.

“Well, today has gone so well we had to expect a little trouble,” she shot back. Took me a second to get that she was joking.

“There's a car with three guys in it outside, just watching the place,” I told her. “I called the police and the dispatcher basically told me to go screw myself. Call back if they attacked. Of course if I do call back it'll be for the M.E. again,” I said evenly.

“What do we do?” she asked.

“Can we go out the back?” I asked. There was a back door, but I hadn't opened it or checked it out.

“We can, but there's no room back there for a car, let alone that monster you drive,” Connie told me.

“I can move around the end of the building so we can get in that way,” I said. “Once we're in, we can pull around front and block the door from their view while Nettie gets to her car and leaves. If they get out we can shoot them,” I shrugged.

“I'd prefer not to have to shoot anyone,” Connie frowned.

“So would I, but I'm not about to let anything happen to you,” I said plainly. “Not going to happen.” She smiled softly at that but nodded her acceptance.

“I know the Chief of Police,” Connie said. “Let me call him and see if he can get someone up here. It might be that they aren't up to anything.”

“Might be I'm a movie star,” I snorted. “I'll be in the waiting room,” I told her as she picked up the phone.

The phones had been working today without any problem. Maybe the problem Saturday had just been jammed circuits, I didn't know. I'd been busy today so I'd seen no news to amount to anything, just snatched on the waiting room television set as I was in and out.

I got to the waiting room and locked the door, something I should have done earlier. With the board in place we couldn't see out and that made us vulnerable. I didn't like that but it was what it was. For the moment we were stuck with it.

I turned the television to a news channel and turned the volume up a bit. I'd already cleaned the waiting room and wiped the seats and fixtures down with Lysol. Germaphobe, remember?

“What are you doing?” Nettie demanded from behind her receptionist glass.

“This is a television,” I pointed to the screen, tired of her shit. “If you watch this while it's tuned to a news channel, you might find shit out. I'm trying to find shit out.” With that I placed Nettie on Ignore and turned back to the screen. She mumbled something behind me but. . .Ignore.

Things had not improved during the day and were expected to get worse with nightfall. I checked my watch. It was about twenty minutes til seven. Late to still be out and about but Connie was having to do her job and then the work normally done by her nurses.

Every state except Alaska had called out their National Guard to help quell disturbances in their major cities. I guess Alaska didn't have as many idiots as the rest of us. Or maybe it was just too cold for protests there, I didn't know.

Dumbo hadn't been on television anymore and there had been only the standard messages from the rest of the stooges in Washington. You know the ones. No reason to panic. Situation under control. All precautions taken. Irresponsible people simply adding to the problem. That last part was true but then it always was. Basically nothing had changed since Saturday from the government prospective. The news was still running the 'precautions' that the Surgeon General had given, and the more conservative shows were interviewing 'noted physicians' who all said the same thing Connie had; bullshit. They made the same arguments she had. Nothing special in these warnings. They were literally the same good health advice that all doctors gave their patients.

The looting, shooting and rioting had eased off during the day but as night was approaching the activity was picking back up. Police had their hands full to say the least. Store owners were fighting back, shooting rioters who tried to steal or burn their stores. Police in at least one city had tried to arrest a store owner while thieves were actually hauling shit out of his store, all caught on tape by a news crew. The surprise was when other store owners on the block had come to his rescue and beat the shit out of the two cops and then shot maybe five or six more looters before the rest had run off.

More cops had shown up after a frantic call by the two idiot cops, resulting in a standoff between the store owners and the cops. A news crew managed to get by the cops and interview the store owners live as they stood their ground. Public opinion was firmly on the side of the store owners according to e-mails and tweets and Facebook posts, making me wonder who in the hell had time to be posting on Facebook and Twitter at a time like this.

The cops finally backed down. You couldn't hear what was being said but I'm sure from the finger pointing and grandstanding the the cops were giving the 'we'll be back speech'. None of the store owners looked intimidated. Good for them. I heard Connie calling and turned away from the vigilante justice to see what she'd found out.

“There should be a car here in a few minutes,” Connie told me. “The Chief is a patient,” she shrugged. “He asked for the dispatcher's name but I didn't have it. Sorry.”

“Better that way, probably,” I shrugged.

“He said to tell you 'nice job' by the way,” Connie added. “And not to worry about it, especially now.”

“Especially now that the zombie apocalypse is upon us or especially now that I'm your boyfriend?” I couldn't help asking, grinning widely.

“He didn't say,” she shrugged. “Either way it's good news.”

“True,” I nodded. Before I could say anything else I saw a squad car pull up in the parking lot. I looked at Connie and Nettie.

“Get your things, we're out of here while they're on the scene.”

“I still have work to do,” Connie protested.

“Dark soon,” I shook my head. “If you want we can take it with us but we will be home behind the fence before the sun goes down.” She looked as if she might argue but I stood my ground. I knew I was right and she did too.

“He's right,” Nettie said abruptly, which almost caused me to lose my tough guy composure. “Let him get you out of here and safe.” She glared at me as if warning me but I just snorted.

“You too, then,” Connie ordered. “Will you help me?” she asked me.

“Of course I will,” I manged to both look and sound offended. We hurried to her office and loaded all the files she still had to update into one of the storage tubs which I immediately took and loaded in the back of the Blazer. Nettie was already out the door and to her car. She looked back once more and actually waved. For the first time she looked sad, maybe even a little pensive.

“I swear I'll take care of her,” I called gently, just loud enough she could hear me. “It'll be over my dead body and empty gun.” Nettie gave me a long look and then nodded once before getting into her car and leaving. I glanced over to where one cop was talking to the driver while another was covering the car with a shotgun. I could hear the cop getting a little louder than a simple, routine call should have warranted.

Connie came out behind me with an honest to God Doctor's bag in her hand.

“I didn't know they still made those,” I almost goggled. “Cool!” She shook her head as she laughed and handed me the bag which I loaded into the back. I was still trying to keep at least one eye on the cops.

“Anything?” she asked.

“No idea,” I admitted. “Are you ready?” I asked. I wanted to take advantage of the cops being on the scene to get Connie out of there.

“Yes,” she nodded and turned to lock the door. It wouldn't probably keep anyone out, but it was better than nothing. We had strengthened the interior doors and the records were locked in a closet that I had added a padlock and hasp to. Wasn't much but better than nothing.

I helped Connie into the passenger seat and then crawled into the driver's seat, my attention still on the car. The cop with the shotgun had moved closer and was giving the car his undivided attention. I took that as a sign of escalation. I wanted to stay and make sure they made it okay, but not as much as I wanted Connie safe. Connie's safety won out and I pulled away from the building. I noted that the guy in the passenger seat was giving us the eye. I knew right then I'd likely have trouble with that guy. There was no hiding Big Baby so it wasn't like he couldn't find me again.

‘Well, you just come and look, buddy’
, I thought to myself, smirking just a little at him.
‘I got something for you.’

“Stop trying to stare them down,” Connie said, interrupting my man-moment. I turned to look at her.

“How are you doing that?” I demanded.

“Doing what?” she asked, fighting off a yawn.

“It's like you're reading your mind,” I complained.

“No, I'm not. You're a man, that's all. Pretty easy to figure out what you're thinking.”

I was absolutely sure there was an insult in there somewhere but. . .well, I was driving, that's all. I had to concentrate on my driving. Traffic and all. You know.

In the back of my mind though I just knew we'd see those three again. I needed to be ready for that when it came.

Believe it or not, Jacks was open. I looked hopefully at Connie and she sighed and nodded so I whipped into the parking lot. Five minutes later we were back on the road with three, that's
three
juicy, delicious Double Big Jack cheeseburgers and two orders of fries. Oh and Connie got some kind of salad with chicken or whatever.

I hummed all the way home.

*****

Once we were home I made sure the gate was shut hard. I hadn't let the chickens out today so I went and gave them plenty of food and freshened their water before going inside. I stopped in the garage to put the batteries to my power tools on the charger. Might need them again.